Game On Baby
by Drizl
Summary: A very bored Edward is tested when the new girl comes to town. He thinks he knows everything, can have anyone at anytime, but Bella is ready to prove him wrong. Who will win this Game? Heavy Lemons, Language, Vamps/Humans
1. Chapter 1

**No, I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I'm just fooling around with her characters. **

**This may or may not end up being a short story. Bring on the reviews and we will see how far I can take this story. **

**I'm currently in the middle of another story, so as long as you're here... Check that one out too.**

**Crazy huh? **

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**Chapter One : Team Introductions**

The inane chatter in my head was worse today. I didn't know how much more of this shit I could take. High school sucked and this particular school was really driving it home. Fuck, I wanted to get out of here but my family insisted on staying. Things were good they all said. We were accepted. It was easy to hide what we were. At least for a few more years.

When our time was up here, the fucking nightmare would start all over again. It was an endless cyclical cycle for me. We would move to another town, and enroll in another high school. For the first few months everything would be great because it was all new. Like a shiny toy newly removed from the box. Awesome for the first few weeks, but then the shine dulled and it would soon become evident that things were the same, just with a different cast and new location. It was like filming the same movie over and over again. If Bill Murray thought he had it bad in _Groundhog Day_, try spending a hundred years of the same shit.

The reaction to me was always the same.

_Have you seen the new guy? Oh my gawd, he has the best hair. I'd love to run my fingers through that copper mess. He's the hottest thing I've ever seen._

I'd fucking heard it all.

The girls would flock to my side, offering up themselves for whatever I wanted to do with them. And I knew what they wanted. Just one little peek into their mind and I was privy to all their secrets and desires. They were easy to satisfy, but for me, the satisfaction only lasted a few minutes and then the boredom of my everyday existence would come back with a vengeance.

Like it was now.

I was sick of Forks, sick of the girls here. I'd had them all, some more than once and I didn't want to go there again. I'd even been up in Port Angeles a few times in search of something new. Anything new was good!

I glanced around the lunch room letting in the voices for a few minutes. My eyes came to rest on Victoria. Her red hair was spilling down her back. I remember how it felt when she dragged it across my chest. She was whispering to her boyfriend James. He should probably thank me for all the things I taught that girl. She was a bit noisy for my taste and she liked to pull my hair too hard.

Movement at my table caught my eye. Emmett had his tongue down Rosalie's throat. She was giggling, trying to escape from his clutches. I wanted to fucking barf on them.

"Get a room," I hissed.

"Fuck you, little brother," Emmett grunted, but he did not release his grip on Rose.

He really wasn't my brother, by blood anyway. Okay maybe that was the wrong word, because our blood was the same, we just weren't related.

For the first few years of my existence it was just Carlisle and me. He created me, turned me to a vampire before I succumbed to the Spanish Influenza in 1918.

Esme was next. The perfect mate for him. I was happy that he found love. I started to wonder if it would ever happen for me.

At first I was really optimistic. Rosalie was created for me, but there was nothing between us and eventually, she found Emmett. Alice and Jasper hooked up with our little family later.

I watched as Emmett and Rosalie walked out of the lunch room arm and arm. He swatted her ass and flipped me off.

I suppose I should be happy for them. They were in love, just like everyone in my family. One big fucking happy family, except me.

So I just fucked everything.

Suddenly the chatter seemed to increase, but the volume in the lunch room died to nothing. What the fuck. I looked up just in time to see her walk into the room. I swear all the guys and even a few girls leaped out of their chairs and saluted her.

I had been so busy wallowing in self pity I had forgotten that a new girl had arrived in town. She had been in town for a week. My family and I had been under cover for the last few days because of some untimely sunshine. I was too fucking dazzling in sunshine to show my face.

I focused in on the new girl. She was wearing a really short tight mini skirt that hugged her hips. I immediately imagined what it would feel like to have those hips pressed up against me, her legs wrapped around my waist and her lips screaming out my name.

She had a white blouse on with a dark pink camisole peeking out. My eyes caressed her throat, her exposed clavicle. Just one lick, a small nip.

Jesus Christ, I was eye fucking this girl.

Her skin was amazingly pale. I swear I could almost see the blood flowing through her body. My eyes focused on her throat again.

She walked toward the table at the center of the room. Jessica was waving madly at her. Ah, Jessica, she could do things with her mouth that could...I lost my train of thought when the new girl slid into the chair next to Jessica. She leaned forward, giggling. I could see the swell of her creamy breasts peeking out of the white blouse. Was her fucking bra pink?

_Bella. Bella. Bella Swan. Isabella._

Her name filled my head as everyone thought about her. I slammed the door shut not wanting to hear the vile thoughts that filled the heads of Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie and several other guys who were walking a fine line. I may have to kill them all later. She was going to be mine and only mine. Where the hell did that come from?

Long brown locks of hair fell across her face, hiding it from me. I was desperately hoping for a gust of wind to blow through the lunch room so I could see her face. It could blow her skirt up around her neck too.

And then the Gods smiled on me and she swept the locks off her face, revealing the most mind blowing fuck me eyes I had ever seen in my long life. Deep chocolate brown eyes. I could drown in them.

I think she just caught me staring at her. She licked her lips totally distracting me again.

What did she want? What were her deepest desires? I had to know, so I opened my mind pushing toward her. I gripped the edge of the table, concentrating on breaking into her mind. Well, fuck me, nothing was happening. I could hear everyone else in the fucking room, but from her I got nothing but maddening silence.

I watched every move she made. The way she wrapped her lips around the straw when she took a sip from her drink. She bit her bottom lip several times, which made my entire body twitch. I had to fucking grip the seat of the chair to keep myself from running across the room and throwing her down on the table. I started wondering how long it was going to be before I had her bent over a fucking table. I'd give her one week before she succumbed to my charms.

And then she stood and picked her book bag up. Jessica looped her arm through hers and dragged her out of the room. Her ass was a glorious sight to behold. I wanted to cup my hands around it and press my dick up against it. Okay, maybe a week was a little too long. We'll push the deadline up, to say, four days.

Someone kicked my chair. I groaned out loud.

I looked up to see Jasper laughing his head off. He pushed his biology book over to me.

"Lunch is over and from the looks of things," he cleared his throat. "You're gonna need this."

What the fuck was he talking about. I looked down. Oh for crissakes, I was sporting a rather large hard-on. Shit, I should cut class and sneak off for a quick fuck. I'm sure I could round someone up or maybe I should take care of my own needs.

"Edward, time for class," Mrs. Cope said, looking down at my dick.

I grabbed Jasper's book and hightailed it out of the lunchroom.

***

Banner's fucking biology class. Christ, I didn't know if I would be able to sit through his boring lecture, especially with my balls turning blue. I took my seat and leaned forward in my chair trying to think about something that would give me limp dick.

I had almost calmed myself down when I heard a commotion at the door and she walked in. My dick immediately sprang back to life. Fucking A, I had the hard-on from hell. Maybe I should just shove my hands down my pants and take care of the fucking problem.

Mr. Banner introduced her to the class.

"This is Isabella Swan. Please make her feel welcome."

Yeah, yeah everyone knows who the fuck she is asshole. And I would be more than happy to make her feel welcome, which I may get the chance to do, because Banner was directing her to the empty seat next to me. She strolled down the aisle, dropped her book bag on the table and took her seat.

She let her hair fall forward, hiding her face from me again. Before I knew what I was doing I almost had my nose buried in her neck. Venom was dripping down my teeth as I sucked in a breath of her scent. It took everything in my power to move away from her when all I wanted to do was taste her blood and fuck her senseless.

"You like what you see, Edward," she hissed, glaring at me.

" What," I choked out and backed further away from her.

How the hell did she know my name?

Jesus Christ, this woman was totally throwing me off my game. For a few minutes we had a staring contest and during those few moments of intense gazing, I tried to break into her mind. I got nowhere.

"Mr Cullen, could you move your eyes to me?" Banner said, rudely interrupting our staring contest.

Everyone in the class snickered. She giggled and flung her hair over her shoulders. I was assaulted by her scent again. I growled and pretended I was interested in Banner's lecture.

Every single sound in the room was amplified. I think I could hear the fabric of my jeans stretching as my dick tried to escape the confines of my pants. The clock was ticking agonizingly slow, Mike Newton yawned and dropped his head to his desk, Erik Yorkie was scribbling in his notebook, Banner droned on, and Bella was...what the fuck was she doing? Was that her hand on my thigh?

Ah ha, I knew she couldn't resist me. I was Edward fucking Cullen and I could have anyone I wanted, when I wanted, anytime I wanted. A fucking week, try less than an hour...uhhhh.

Fuck, her hand brushed against my crotch. My dick started weeping and straining to get closer to her hand. I went still as a fucking statue which was possibly the most difficult thing I had ever done. What was she going to do? Her fingers crept closer to my cock. I couldn't stay still any longer. I turned in my chair, shifting my hips closer to her.

Holymarymotherofgod, she just popped open the first button of my jeans. I glanced around the room to make sure no one was paying attention. Wait, who cares if they were.

Banner was putting in a DVD. I went from despising this guy to absolutely adoring him. Could things get any better? My question was answered when I suddenly felt her fingers gently caressing me.

The lights went out. She finished unbuttoning my jeans. Damn, I should have gone commando today. She reached into my boxers and stroked me. I slid down in my chair so she had better access. She squeezed my shaft harder. I almost jizzed in her hand.

I was now panting like a goddamned dog in heat as she palmed my balls. Why the fuck was I breathing so much. I tried to stop but I couldn't control it.

I tried to look at her face but I think my fucking eyes were crossed. She moved closer to me so I was once again hammered with her scent. Venom pooled in my mouth. I almost fucking gagged on it.

Her hand was sliding up and down, pumping me. My hips automatically raised into her hand. As much as I enjoyed having her give me a hand job I would much rather be buried in her pussy.

The heat was building, filling my abs. My muscles were clenching ready for the release. I was making plans on how to control the growl that was building in my throat when she fucking stopped all movement. She quickly pulled her hand out of my pants and shoved it into her backpack. She pulled out some fucking kleenex or something and wiped her hand off.

I was in fucking hell. My jaw had dropped to the desk and my dick was crying for attention.

I needed a release but the fucking lights came back on and the bell rang. I could hear Bella holding back her laughter. Who was this evil little bitch?

Mike fucking Newton walked by our desk and offered her his hand. She stood up and took his hand with the same hand that was just holding my fucking dick.

Just as she was heading out the door, she turned and fucking winked at me. I wanted to kill her, in more ways than one.

Well, fuck this shit...game on Bella Swan.

Bella 1 Edward 0 and in need of a fucking wank.

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**If you made it all the way through and liked the story ~ let me know ~ reviews are really appreciated. **


	2. Substitutions Not Allowed

**No Stephenie Meyer here. Just me having a little fun torturing Edward. **

**hehehehe**

**Read and Review baby! **

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**Chapter Two **

**Substitutions Not Allowed**

I was sitting in my car waiting for my brothers and sisters to get out of class. I ditched the last period to take care of my rather large problem. I limped through the school, cursing everything and everyone who tried to stop me. By the time I got to my car, I could barely walk.

Fucking Bella Swan.

How in the hell had she been able to do that. She took me to the edge, almost sending me over and then, and then...well fuck. This had definitely been an epic fail day. I couldn't even think straight.

I leaned the seat back, put a CD in and turned the music up so loud the whole car rattled. I released my aching cock from my pants. Relief, I just needed some fucking relief. Several minutes later, I was cleaning jizz off my fucking window. Jesusmotherfuckingchrist, I wanted to kill Bella Swan. Edward Cullen did not clean up his own spunk and yet, that is exactly what I was doing.

I leaned back, closed my eyes and began to plot my revenge. I had three more days before my deadline for taking Bella Swan was up. I could do this. Today was just a misstep on my part. I had not been ready for her. I was off my game and it would never happen again. No more fucking around. Bella Swan would give in to me.

Someone pounded on my window. I almost flew out of my seat.

"Holy shit, little brother, what's up with you?" Emmett said pressing his face up against the glass. He was laughing so hard, he was almost crying.

"Shut the hell up Emmett," I growled at him and flipped him off. No one had ever been able to sneak up on me before. I was usually very aware of all my surroundings and who occupied the space near me.

I looked away from Emmett and my eyes came to rest on Bella Swan walking across the parking lot. I tried not watch, but she was making that fucking impossible. My eyes were drawn to her. The movements of her hips swinging back and forth was almost hypnotic. The wind blew, ruffling her hair and lifting her skirt up so more of her thigh showed. She brushed the hair out her eyes, looking up into the cloud filled sky. This exposed her throat to me. I may have groaned out loud. The wind blew again once more lifting her skirt up her thighs. I had to look away.

Damn her and her perfect throat and damn the fucking wind.

Then the sounds invaded my mind.

_Jesuschrist, she's just so fuckable. What I wouldn't give to tap that. Look at the ass on her. She's wearing really cool shoes. _

Really cool shoes? What kind of dude looks at shoes?

I scanned the parking lot, feeling my anger growing as I watched the guys ogle her. No one moved toward her until Mike Newton came charging up behind her, patting Bella on the ass. I grasped the steering wheel, feeling my fingers digging in to the metal. If I didn't loosen my grip soon, I would be holding nothing but metal shavings. I stared intently, waiting for her reaction. Did she want him touching her? Did she _want _him? She tossed her head back and laughed, playfully swatting back at him. I wanted to fucking kill him.

"What the hell Edward, let's go," Jasper said.

I jumped again.

What the hell, indeed. When had they all arrived? I didn't even hear anyone get in the fucking car. I looked to my right. Alice was watching me so intently I felt like her eyes were boring into my head. I closed the door in my mind, keeping her out of my thoughts.

I started the car, jammed it into gear and peeled out of the parking lot. I needed to put some space between me and Bella Swan.

I could hear Emmett trying to stifle a laugh and then Jasper telling them about my problem in the lunch room. I'm glad I could amuse them. At least they didn't know about the incident in biology. They would never let me live that down.

Fuckers.

I turned the radio up and decided to ignore them all, choosing to focus again on my next move. How was I going to get back at Bella Swan or rather, how was I going to _get_ Bella Swan.

Venom collected in my mouth, reminding me it had been two days since I fed. I was fucking hungry. No wonder I had been off my game today. Hunger affected a man's mood.

Tanya, I would call Tanya. She was always up for a good time and she always satisfied my hunger. Maybe I could fuck the thoughts of Bella Swan out of my head.

"Edward," Alice's voice interrupted me.

"What," I snapped.

"You missed the turn to the house," Alice hissed. "What is your problem."

It was not a good idea for me to get Alice interested in my problems. She liked to stick her nose where it didn't belong. I mean, I loved my sister, but she could drive a guy nuts.

"I have a lot on my mind," I growled and made a quick U-turn.

"Like Isabella Swan," Jasper smirked.

"Bella."

My response was automatic. I had heard all the kids repeat it in their minds a hundred times today. I wanted to take it back the minute it came out of my mouth.

"Excuse me, Bella it is," Jasper laughed.

"Edward," Alice gasped.

"Alice so help me, get out of my fucking head," I grimaced, trying to shut her out. What the fuck had she seen? I didn't want to know.

"Let's hear it, Alice," Emmett said as he leaned forward in his seat.

"Yeah Alice, is baby brother hot for the new girl?" Jasper asked.

I pulled into the garage and slammed on the brakes, jumping out of the car before they could ask me any questions. I didn't have time for their juvenile games. I needed to prepare my game plan.

I headed up to my room, whipping out my cell phone and sending Tanya a quick text.

_Do you wanna hook up? E_

I paced while I waited for her reply. God, I'd never felt so out of control in my entire life. Thankfully, Tanya's response was almost immediate.

_Where? _

_Pick U up in 60. E_

_K_

I decided to take a shower. I needed to clean up from my afternoon of beating off in my car. Goddamn Bella.

The moment I thought about her I could feel my cock stirring to life again. Shit, I needed to quit thinking about her. I sighed and headed into my bathroom.

By the time the water was hot, I was rock hard again. I tried to shove Bella out of my head but the vision wouldn't let go. I gave in, letting the events of the afternoon assault me. Bella's scent. Bella's hot hand brushing up against my crotch, teasing me. The sound of each button on my jeans, popping open and releasing the monster. The feeling of her grasping my cock and palming my balls.

"Fuck me."

This wasn't going to be pretty and it definitely wasn't going to take long for me to reach my intended destination. I gripped my throbbing dick, imagining my fist was her pussy. In and out, pumping faster, harder. She was screaming my name or was I screaming. I came all over my shower door.

"No more thinking about Bella," I muttered, leaning up against the wall.

I managed to finish up the shower cleaning both myself and the poor shower door. Shit, this was the second time today I was cleaning up my own jizz because of her.

I found a clean pair of jeans and pulled a t-shirt on. I rushed out of my room, almost running over Alice in the hallway.

"Sorry Alice," I murmured as I tried to push past her.

"Edward, what is going on," she asked.

"Nothing," I snorted. "But you're making me late for dinner."

"Edward," she said crossing her arms and stepping in front of me.

"Alice please, I'm really fucking thirsty right now. My throat is actually burning," I said, opening my mouth and breathing on her. "Smell the smoke."

I was going to pay for this later. Alice never let anything go

I stepped around her and ran down the stairs. Three minutes later, I was driving down the highway at ninety miles an hour. I needed Tanya. I needed something to get Bella Swan out of my head and away from my dick.

Christ, I think I was getting hard again.

Tanya was waiting on her porch, pacing in little circles when I pulled up into her driveway. I think she was in the car before I was able to put it in park.

"Edward, I've missed you," she said. She leaned over, kissed my cheek and ran her tongue down my neck. I held still, waiting for any sort of reaction. I got nothing. No tingling in my groin, no tightening of the jeans, no venom dripping down my teeth. It kind of creeped me out. I always had a reaction to women. Maybe it was too soon after my escapade in the shower. Yeah, I'm sure that was it. I felt a little better.

"Edward?" Tanya said softly.

"Huh, oh, you ready?"

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere a little more private," I said, waving at her sister who was peering out the window at us.

"Okay," she said tentatively. I wondered what her problem was.

I backed out of her driveway and was driving down the road, before I figured out that I could find out what her problem was by reading her mind. Bella Swan had me so rattled I couldn't remember how I worked.

_Where is he taking me? Just fucking take me now. I'm ready. It's been so long since..._

I didn't wait for her to finish her thought. I pulled off the road and stopped the car.

"About fucking time," she hissed at me. She climbed into the back seat, discarding clothes as she went.

Now this is what I was talking about. I jumped in the backseat with her. She attacked me with a vengeance, pushing me back and climbing on top of me. She grabbed my hand, lifted her shirt and placed my hand on her breast. I squeezed her nipple and she moaned.

She leaned forward and kissed me, shoving her tongue into my mouth. I almost gagged.

"What's wrong Edward," she purred.

"Er, nothing, baby," I stuttered.

She reached down, unbuttoned my pants and roughly grabbed my cock.

Nothing. No fucking reaction.

"Edward," she said, sitting up quickly. "What the fuck is going on."

Yeah, what the fuck was going on? I stared down at my limp dick in her hand. This had never happened to me before. I was Edward fucking Cullen and I was on the verge of a panic attack because I couldn't get it up.

I closed my eyes and inhaled Tanya's scent. I could definitely smell lust and blood, but it wasn't doing anything for me.

What had Bella done to me?

The minute I thought her name, my cock stirred.

Okay, that was just sick. I opened my eyes and Tanya was glaring down at me.

"This fucking sucks," she hissed at me.

"Yeah well, guess you just don't do it for me honey," I snorted and pushed her off me.

"You drag me out here and this is what I get. You suck Edward Cullen!"

I got out of the car, buttoned my jeans and paced around in circles for a few moments. Obviously my fucking traitor of a dick was not allowing substitutions in this goddamn game.

I got back in the car. Tanya was glowering at me. I thought about feeding from her but I was so pissed I couldn't even see straight. I started the car, punched the accelerator and almost hit a fucking tree when the back end of the car fishtailed.

I had Tanya back to her house in less than five minutes. Before she could get out of my car, I grabbed her arm and spun her to face me. I stared into her eyes for a few seconds until I saw the familiar glaze appear. There was no way I was going to let her tell anyone what had happened or what didn't happen.

"Thanks Edward, that was just great," Tanya sighed and smiled sweetly at me. "Call me."

She skipped back into her house, waving at me as I pulled away from her.

Goddamn it.

"Fucking Bella" I snarled. The minute I thought about her again, my traitorous dick sprang to life.

"Just great, just fucking great," I screamed at the top of my lungs, pounding my fists against the steering wheel.

I drove around for about a half hour. By now I was fucking starving. I was ready to jump out of the car and take a bite out of anyone.

"Alright! All Fucking Right. You win...again. I give up," I yelled, turning into the road that led back to my house.

Christ, she wasn't even here and I was conceding another victory to her.

Bella 2 Edward 0 (and crabby as all hell because tonight would be a vegetarian meal for me and I fucking hated that)

Fuck!

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**Well? Give me something...anything...begging here...drizl runs off hoping for more reviews cuz they really help her write new chapters faster...**

**Thanks to everyone who has added this story to their favorites **


	3. Illegal Contact to the Head

**Thank you Stephenie Meyer for creating these wonderful characters**

**Now it's time to let them have some fun**

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**Chapter 3**

**Illegal Contact to the Head**

What a fucking day. I needed to regroup and devise a game plan.

Well this was just fucking annoying! I'd never needed a game plan in my entire life before. I didn't even know where to begin.

After the fiasco with Bella in biology and then with Tanya in the car, I decided to stay in my room the entire night. I was not used to failure in any way, shape or form.

Alice tried to talk to me, but I hissed at her a couple of times and she finally gave up, leaving me alone to wallow in my misery.

I was down to three days to _get_ Bella Swan. So far she had owned the playing field. Bella was a fucking ball hog and they were my fucking balls. I was all for sharing but I wanted a chance to play.

Was I whining?

It was approximately five in the morning and so far, I'd come up with nothing. Although I'd managed to create several in depth fantasies involving Bella which eventually, led to me having to clean up more jizz. I'd already taken two showers.

This was fucking getting out of control and I was tired of cleaning up spunk.

I paced around my room to help pass the time. Nothing was working for me and I was hungry. Maybe I should try Tanya again. A quick morning snack might help clear my head. It had been three days since I had a taste of human blood and it was fucking me up.

That was the start of a good game plan. Eat first and then form the plan of attack.

"Edward," Alice yelled from downstairs.

"I'm fucking coming," I shouted back.

No one spoke to me the entire drive to school. I could hear Jasper and Emmett making snide comments about me and Bella.

I wondered what Alice had told them. I thought about breaking into her thoughts but that would give her access to mine and I didn't want to go there.

I listened for a few more minutes to Jasper and Emmett. I think they were making bets on whether I'd ever get in her pants. Neither was putting their money on me. Fuckers.

Alice kept staring at me, but I locked her out of my head. I didn't need her fucking with me too. I was in a pissy mood and I didn't want to talk about it.

When we got to school my mind was overrun with the voices, all still talking about Bella Swan. It was incredibly irritating. Like fucking jock itch.

I opened my locker, trying to concentrate on shutting everyone out.

"Hi Edward," Tanya said, putting her arms around my waist.

I moved her away from me. Wait. This was my opportunity. I grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her behind me. The door to one of the music rooms was ajar and vacant. Tanya squealed when I pushed her in the dark empty room.

She turned to me, pushing me up against the wall and attacking my lips with a fervor that should have made my blood boil. It sort of bored me. Well, that was a fucking odd reaction.

"Calm down, Tanya," I said holding her at arms length.

"I just...last time was so awesome. I miss you," she panted.

Obviously I'd done a good job of changing her memory of her last night with me. Maybe I hit her with too much vampire voodoo. I had to remember to tone it down this time. I wouldn't want her to get the idea we were going out or some shit like that.

I put my hands on either side of her face, staring directly into her eyes. That happy glazed-over look showed up. I tilted her head to the side, exposing her throat and bit down. Warm blood ran down my throat.

Fuck, I needed this. I wondered what Bella's hot blood would taste like. I think I'd like to bite her in the femoral artery. I moaned and released Tanya. Now I had a glazed look in my eyes as I thought about Bella and my teeth on her thigh.

"I gotta go Tanya," I muttered. She just grinned at me. Shit, I couldn't have her walking around like this. She needed to forget this entire encounter. I stared at her again, erasing what I could and tweaking the remainder of her memory of this morning.

I slipped out of the room and headed for my class.

The rest of the morning passed without incident. I hadn't even seen Bella. Tanya's blood had really calmed me down and I was ready for anything.

Or so I thought.

"Hey Cullen," Bella said.

I turned and almost knocked her down. Her scent went up my nose, causing an immediate physical reaction. Venom dripped down my teeth, my dick twitched and I started panting.

What the hell was with this panting shit?

"I'm sorry we got off to such a rocky start yesterday."

"No one got off," I hissed at her.

She ignored my remark, taking my hand and leading me down the hall toward the lunch room.

"Have lunch with me," she giggled. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to get a good read. Why the hell couldn't I get into her mind. Was she fucking toying with me again? Her face was giving nothing away. This chick was the most impossible creature to figure out. I decided to play it cool and go with the flow. Fuck, I sounded like a moron.

"Sure Bella, lunch it is," I said.

I added a little swagger to my step as we headed into the lunch room. The minute we walked in together, the noise level decreased noticeably. I decided to take advantage of the moment and my captive audience. I slid my arm around her waist, claiming her. I heard an audible groan rise up from the guys in the room.

_Fucking Cullen's moving in again. Dammit! I wasn't fast enough. She has the hottest shoes. _

Seriously, the shoes again?

I shut off the incessant noise and focused on her. Damn. Today she had on jeans that hugged her ass and a long sleeved shirt that clung to every curve. I didn't even know if she had shoes on. I couldn't get past how her ass looked in those jeans.

Someone bumped me from behind. "Move it Cullen," Mike Newton growled.

I ignored him, still focused on Bella's ass.

She picked up a tray and walked through the line, selecting a few items. I took nothing.

"Aren't you eating," she asked.

_Only if you're offering._

"No, I had a large breakfast," I answered, trying not to stare at her throat.

She took her tray and I followed her to a small table away from everyone else. She sat down. Instead of sitting next to her, I sat across from her. I wanted to watch her and try to figure her out. I was feeling out the opponent. Trying to get a read on what she was going to do, what she was all about, what the fuck she wanted and how I could use it to gain an advantage.

"So Edward," she said leaning closer to me exposing the swells of her breasts to me again.

Fucking low cut t-shirt. I could feel movement in my groin.

"I've heard some interesting things about you."

"I'm sure you have," I answered, not taking my eyes off her breasts.

She opened her drink and slid a straw into it, never once taking her eyes off me. She wrapped her lips around the straw, sucked down, taking in a bit of liquid which she swirled around and promptly swallowed. I was fucking hypnotized. I couldn't look away. I watched as she put her lips around that fucking straw again. I was having hallucinations, imagining it was my dick. She licked it, smiled at me and then I felt something else.

Her foot was on my thigh. My dick almost jumped out of my pants.

Fucking hell.

She was still fucking that goddamn straw with her mouth. I would have given just about anything to be that straw. I slouched down in my chair, making it easier for her to reach me. She moved her foot up my thigh, rubbing it against my now throbbing dick.

She bit down on her bottom lip. I almost lost it. I put my hand under the table and touched her ankle. Sweet mother of mercy. I'd never touched such an exquisite ankle. I started to slide my hand up her calf, over her knee and up to her thigh. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply.

Yes, she would soon be mine.

The intercom crackled. "Bella Swan, please report to the office. Bella Swan to the office, please."

The announcement echoed through the entire room. Everyone turned to look at Bella and me.

She was up and out of her chair before I could even think. I almost slid under the table. Are you kidding me? Did she fucking plan this? I groaned, the fucking bell rang and everyone cleared out of the lunch room.

I couldn't move.

Someone should call a fucking penalty on her. That was definitely illegal contact to the head.

My fucking dick hurt again. Damn her.

Mrs. Cope walked over to the table and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Mr. Cullen, this is the second day in a row I've had to tell you to get to class, er..."She paused when her eyes came to rest on the sizable bump in the front of my pants. "Maybe you should go see the nurse."

She left me sitting at the table. I believe she was muttering something about size.

I growled, adjusted myself and limped off to biology.

Christ!

Bella 3 Edward 0 (this fucking sucks)

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**I'm starting to feel sorry for Edward! **

**Please review...And thanks to everyone who has added this story to their favs and is waiting for an update**

**I hope you like it! **

**Don't worry Edward will catch a break...eventually.**

**Bahahahaha...he's just so fun to screw with (in more ways than one)**


	4. Time out Time out Time motherfucking Out

**Thanks to S. Meyer for creating such great characters. I'm borrowing them for a bit! **

**A word of warning ~ this is a rated M piece of fanfiction for a reason. Consider yourself warned**

**Now back to the fun!

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**

**Chapter 4**

**Time Out. Time Out! Time motherfucking Out!!**

Goddamn it!

By the time I got to Biology my dick had gone placid and I was pissed. Again. I'd had enough of this shit from Bella. I was changing strategies. Offense! Offense! Offense!

No more trying to figure her out. I was just going to feel her up. I didn't know what Banner had planned for class today but I was going to make sure he showed a fucking movie. I needed the room dark to work my magic.

I stomped into the classroom, stared Banner in the face and fucking changed his lesson plan. Some days it was good to be a vampire.

I could hear some of the kids snickering as I sat down. What the fuck was up with that? They immediately stopped whatever they were doing when I turned and glared at them.

Mike Newton almost disappeared under his desk, fucking Erik Yorkie was staring up at the water stain on the ceiling, even Angela wouldn't meet my gaze. Either something was up or I just scared the piss out of everyone.

I needed to reign it in but so far, I wasn't doing a very good job.

After class someone was going to tell me what the fuck was going on. I slammed my books on my desk and started my pre-game warm ups.

Banner was shuffling papers around his desk looking for a movie. He put in the same one he showed yesterday. No one in the class said anything.

Now, where the fuck was Bella?

Banner turned the lights out. Still no Bella.

I was starting to believe that she had been called away and the office announcement had been real. If I would have known the other team wasn't going to show up, I would have cut class and gone home. It was going to be a long fucking hour.

Maybe I could use it to plan out my next strategy. Fuck the strategies. Right now I needed to get my head together and this was a great opportunity for me to do just that. I was going to take this next hour to catch my breath and regroup.

I was almost totally calm when she sauntered in to the room. Another change of plans. Good God, I was losing track of how many times she changed the rules and the playing field of this fucked up game.

I watched as she handed Banner a note, glanced at the movie and slid into her seat next to me. I steadied myself and brought out my game face. It was time.

She eyed me so I winked at her, hoping to throw her off her game or whatever torture she had planned for me. I couldn't believe that any of this was by accident anymore. Bella Swan was up to something and I was going to find out what it was. But now was not the time to worry about that. It was time to get out on the field and play ball.

I was going for broke this afternoon and pulling the trick plays out of my bag. It was time to mix it up and confuse the competition.

The clock was running and the ball was in my possession. I decided the first play would be a full on blitz so I placed my leg right up against hers. I kept my eyes locked on her face so I could monitor any reaction. She pursed her lips and blew out a little air. I was holding my breath this time. No more panting like a damn dog. Maybe if I kept her scent away from me, I could keep my head clear and stay in control. So far so good.

I took one more quick look at the play book before I dove in.

I slowly moved my hand under the table, lightly brushing my fingers over her thigh. I stared hard at her waiting for any sort of reaction. Bella was fixated on the TV, pretending to be lost in the movie or was she actually paying attention to it. She almost looked bored.

Well fuck, was she bored?

Shit, it was such an annoying disadvantage not to be able to see what was going on in her mind. Who was I kidding, it was more than annoying, it seriously pissed me off. How did humans deal with this?

I couldn't let myself get caught up in that problem. I wasn't going to think about it. I just needed to go with what felt good at the moment.

Hmm, maybe that was my problem, I was thinking too much and over analyzing every fucking detail. I needed to let my lust take control.

I lightly caressed the side of her thigh. Her breathing definitely hitched. I heard it. I must be on to something. It was too bad she was wearing jeans today. A skirt would have been so much easier. I needed to stop thinking about the uniforms and concentrate on getting a first down.

I continued running my fingers up and down her thigh, moving ever higher on each pass. It now sounded like Bella had giving up on breathing.

I took a quick glance around the room. Mike Newton was drooling on his text book, Erik Yorkie was in a trance staring at...Angela? Whoa, I never would have guessed that one. Banner looked like he was fucking stoned. In my haste, I may have hit him with a little too much vampire voodoo. I was going to have to learn to control that a little better.

I decided to up the ante a little by inching my chair closer to Bella.

Okay, that may have been a mistake on my part because the minute my body came in full contact with her side, I started panting again.

Jesus Christ what the hell was up with that? It was more than annoying, it was fucking embarrassing. Vampires did not pant, ever!

I swear I could feel pulses of electricity flowing into my body everywhere I was in contact with her. Maybe I should pull back and re-evaluate, but I was too far into my play book. Fuck it.

And then she did something that fucked me up again. She leaned forward, gathering up her book bag, like she was fluffing a pillow. What the fuck was she up too? She laid her head down and stared at me. I tried to tell myself not to get sucked in by her eyes, but I was too late. Shit. I was going to drown in her eyes.

I felt her slide her hand under the table, placing it on top of mine. The heat from her skin burned into me. It made me fucking sigh, out loud. If I didn't get a hold of myself I was going to loose this round. Hell, sighing out loud should put Bella on the goal line. Sighing was definitely an offensive foul.

Jesus Christ. I should call time out and regroup. I was supposed to be on offense and all of a sudden she was calling all the plays again. What the fuck?

She pulled my hand away from her thigh, bringing it to the table top. And I let her. Why didn't I throw up a block or something to keep my hand on her thigh. What was wrong with me?

She stared into my eyes. I think she was fucking hypnotizing me because once again, I had no control over anything. Isn't that a foul or something. Hypnotizing the opponent was not fair play.

She brought my hand to her mouth and gently kissed each knuckle. She licked her lips. I watched as her tongue came out and touched the tip of my finger. I swear to God, I felt it all the way down to my dick. Fuck, I was hard again.

What the hell? How did I loose the ball? Did I fucking fumble or just hand the goddamn thing over to her? Holy hell, I was the fucking rookie and she was the highest paid professional on the field, running circles around me.

She sucked on my finger, grazing her teeth against my skin. My brain was screaming at me to call time out.

Jesus Christ, time out, time out, time motherfucking out!

The plea fell on deaf ears. I was absolutely mesmerized by her sucking on my finger, tasting, slowly licking, like she was give me a blow job.

That was a pretty fucking stupid thing to think about because now my dick was really hard, to the point of busting out of my pants.

I rested my head on the desk watching her. Our noses were almost touching and her scent was nailing me. It was fucking addicting. I took a deep breath, letting it wash over me. Holy fuck, I was going to jizz in my pants because some girl was sucking on my finger or maybe it was because it was _this_ girl.

I managed to pull my eyes away from Bella for a few seconds to check out the clock. The bell was going to ring in a few minutes. I needed some points so I went for the interception.

She still had my finger in her mouth so I gave a little tug, releasing my finger from her mouth. I wanted to stick it in my mouth and taste her but there wasn't much time left on the clock. I moved my hand across her cheek and buried it in her long hair. I slowly moved it through her hair until my hand was on the back of her head. I paused for a second before I pulled her face closer to mine. Her sweet, hot breath swept across my face, making me lose focus for a second. I inhaled, tasting the sweetness of her scent. Fuck me, it was like a blast of a fucking drug each time she breathed in my face. I think I was getting high or maybe it was from the vast amounts of venom pooling in my mouth.

The clock was running down, this was the final play of the game and I went for the Hail Mary motherfucking touchdown. I pulled her roughly to my lips, kissing her with a ferocity I had never used on a woman before. She moaned, **out fucking loud,** right as the bell rang.

I sat up quickly and smirked at her. She looked fucking stunned. I think I actually won this round.

Ha fucking ha. I was finally in the end zone.

Although, once again I had a fucking hard-on from hell.

Damn, girls sucked. They never had to walk around with visible signs of arousal.

However, at the moment, Bella looked pretty dazzled and a little confused. Jessica was waving at her from the hall. I poked her in the side.

"Huh," she mumbled and gave me a blank look.

"I think Jessica is trying to get your attention," I chuckled and pointed to the doorway.

"Oh, right," she said. She grabbed her book bag and walked out of the classroom. She stopped at the door and looked back at me again. I thought she was going to say something, but she just shook her head as Jessica pulled her by the arm down the hallway.

I picked up my books, gave myself a fist bump and limped out of the room. Fucking hard-on.

I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going and I ran right in to Mrs. Cope, making her drop a pile of file folders. She bent down and started to chastise me for my clumsiness, but when she looked up she was face to face with my hard-on.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered and quickly stood up.

I knelt down and gathered up her papers, handing them to her. She scowled at me and disappeared down the hall.

Bella 3 Edward motherfucking 1 (however I was still hard)

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**So Edward finally won a round. I'm still having fun torturing him though. Trying to decide if this story will be all Edward or if I should add a little Bella POV in here. Thanks to everyone who left reviews and added this to their favs or alerts. It's pretty fucking cool...and much appreciated. Leave some more, leave some more. Must go write some more. Gonna get a couple more chappies of this story ready and then move back to my other one. If you haven't checked out my other story I Remember You ~ try it...more angst, mystery, love...Reviews Rock, Readers Rock! **


	5. My Equipment is Fine

**It's just me Drizl ~ Again praises to Stephenie Meyer for giving us these great characters. I just like them a little more flawed and dirty. Warning ~ this is a mature themed story with nasty language and naughty lemons. Hope you are enjoying your read. For now I'm staying in Edward's POV. **

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**Chapter 5**

**My Equipment is Fine!**

I was riding the high of this afternoon's win. I was stoked, but I knew I was in deep shit. I had kissed her and I wanted more. I wanted the entire package and I wanted to unwrap it slowly and savor the present.

I was so busy thinking about Bella, I didn't hear Jasper and Emmett get into the car. This was getting really annoying.

"So, Edward," Jasper said. "Been hearing some things about you."

"Huh?" I blew my cover when I looked at Jasper with a dazed look in my eye. Too much thinking about Bella is not a good thing.

"Oh shit, Emmett, it's fucking true," Jasper hissed.

"What the fuck are you talking about Jazz?" I snapped back at him.

"Oh, well, seems Miss Bella Swan and her side kick Jessica Stanley are playing you, Jasper said, turning away from me and laughing into his hand.

"I repeat, what the hell are you talking about?"

Emmett snorted. "The whole school is betting that Bella is going take you to the top of the mountain and then shove you off. She is going to tease you until you fucking beg for mercy. And then without so much as a taste of that fine piece of ass, she is going to walk away from you. From what we hear you are walking right into her hands, and lagging behind. Far behind!"

"Lagging behind? Lagging behind? I'll have you know I just scored when I laid one on her in Biology. She seemed to be a little dazzled when she left the classroom."

"You kissed her and you think that's worth a point," Emmett said.

"Well," I paused. What the hell was he getting at? "Yes."

"Was there tongue involved? Was there illegal hand movement or anything illegal involved," Jasper asked.

Emmett snickered. I looked around the car for something to throw at him.

"Er, no there wasn't any tongue involved," I grunted. "And no hand movement except earlier I touched her thigh."

"Edward I don't think that qualifies as a win then," Jasper said, shrugging his shoulder.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"No tongue, man, and I bet you had a wicked hard on."

I chose not to answer his question. Every time I was around Bella Swan she left me with a hard-on and no goddamn release.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I'm siding with Emmett on this one. A kiss does not equal a winning round."

"You guys fucking suck," I shouted.

*~*~*

After further review by the replay judges, Edward's point has been revoked. It was just a kiss. No tongue or illegal hand movements were involved and therefore it has been deemed not important enough to be awarded a point. That round will be considered a draw. Bella 3 Edward 0. Although it could be argued that Bella should score because she left Edward in a very unsatisified state and Mrs. Cope got another eyeful.

*~*~*

"And besides, from what I heard about yesterday in Biology, she should be getting the fucking championship trophy," Emmett said.

"What the fuck did you hear?"

"Hmm, let's see. Just that Bella dropped the balls but left you busting at the seams."

"And who told you this, Emmett," I growled.

"Fucking Alice," he said and then burst out laughing.

Oh for the love of all that's holy. My own sister was talking trash about me. I was going to have to work harder on keeping her out of my mind, especially if she was going to be siding with the opposing team. She could be smuggling team secrets to Bella.

"What are you doing about this Edward?" Emmett asked.

"I'm handling it. I told you, I just made up some ground in Biology. Even though you guys don't think I deserved that win, I'm staging a comeback. I've just been a little off my game. She keeps changing up the fucking rules. Sometimes I'm not sure what game I'm playing. She's a crafty opponent," I said.

"Maybe you need a manager or some sort of coach. I don't know if I trust you to win this game," Emmett said.

"What's that supposed to mean. You guys better tell me everything you know about this bet thing."

"As far as I can tell, the whole school is betting against you. I think some of them are desperate to see you loose. Sometimes, you can be a total prick," Jasper smirked.

"Thanks for that Jasper. It's nice to know someone has my back," I said sarcastically.

"Hey, I didn't agree with them and I didn't put a bet on Bella. I was sorta hoping you would come through and bed that beautiful woman. I'd do it myself but I'm afraid Alice would serve my balls up to me on a silver platter. Don't think I could handle eating my balls." Jasper laughed, but I also noticed he shuddered a little. If Jazz ever cheated on Alice she would slice them off, filet them and stuff them down his throat without a minute's hesitation.

Rose and Alice slid into the car. I quickly covered my junk with my hand. I was going to protect what I had just in case Alice was in a foul mood. There was no sense in taking any chances.

"Hey baby," Jasper said, leaning into Alice and trying to give her a kiss on the cheek. She shut him down by blocking his advances with her arm.

Now everyone was going to be fucking crabby. It was going to be a long night. We drove home in silence. I ran up to my room before anyone could say anything else. I didn't really want Jasper or Emmett shooting off their mouths about my play so far. As far as I was concerned...someone banged on my door.

"Go away," I shouted.

"No, open the door or I'll bust it down," Emmett yelled.

"Fucking A, fine."

I threw the door open. Both Emmett and Jasper came stomping in.

"What do you guys want," I grumbled.

"Look Rose and Alice are giving us the cold shoulders and won't tell us why, so we thought we would come in here and find out what the fuck you are going to do about this Bella situation," Emmett said.

"I have a plan," I said.

"What is it?" Jasper asked.

"Look, I don't have all the details worked out yet," I answered.

"In other words, you got nothing," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

"Fine, I got nothing. Are you happy?"

"No, I'm not happy. For some reason Alice is siding with Bella and cutting me off. So, no Edward, I'm not fucking pleased about anything right now."

"It's not my fault," I grumbled.

"How in the hell do you get yourself in these situations. Why in the fuck didn't you just use your vamp voodoo on her when things didn't go your way?" Emmett asked.

"I can't get in her mind. I think she's fucking immune."

"You've got to be kidding me. Well this sort of levels the playing field." Emmett snorted.

Jasper was laughing. I wanted to kick him in the nuts to get him to shut the fuck up. Nothing about any of this was funny.

"So the Biology thing is true," Jasper said in between his spasms of laughter.

"If you mean she didn't get me off, well then, yes, she timed it to perfection and left me with blue balls."

"Fucking brutal," Emmett said and adjusted himself. "But we might have something for you."

"What could you guys possibly have," I muttered.

"Well, when Alice threw her phone at Jazz's head, I snagged it and got Bella's cell phone number."

"And how does that help me? I doubt she's going talk to me."

"We think you should try a little smut texting. Get the girl all revved up. Show her what you have," Emmett said, handing me her phone number.

"Fine, but I'll wait until later in the evening," I said.

"Let us know if you need any help," Jasper said. He shook his head as both he and Emmett left my room.

Smutty texting. Maybe that would work. I needed a good opening line though.

I waited until darkness came. Maybe the game would be called on account of darkness. I still hadn't figured out a good opening line.

I stared at the phone, hoping it would type something clever out for me. Bella Swan had totally fucked me up. I was a major player. This should be easy for me. I was number one in the world for Christ sakes. Or at least in the top ten. And this little bitch had been serving up ace after ace to me. I was better than this. It was time to bring out the A game. No more lingering on the base line. I needed to charge the net and put the ball away. I wasn't really sure if texting was going to put the ball away, but maybe it would start the rally going.

I slowly stepped out of my warm up gear and served up the first text.

_E: Who R U torturing tonight? _

I stared at the phone wondering if it was going to buzz. I got nothing. Maybe she had turned her phone off or maybe she was ignoring me.

_E: R U ignoring me?_

I waited for a few more minutes. Well, fuck. This wasn't working. I guess I could work on tomorrow's strategy. I tossed my phone on the bed. Before I could start thinking about tomorrow, my phone buzzed.

_B: Who is this? _

Oh right, she wouldn't have my phone number.

_E: Edward Cullen_

_B: What do you want? _

Well, she definitely didn't sound that thrilled about my texting her.

_E: Just wondering who U were torturing 2nite_

_B:Ha Ha _

_E: Does that mean you're playing singles_

_B: I'm playing...and there are no other people here_

Holy fuck was she implying...my dick reacted immediately. Fucking traitor.

_E: U don't need that U know_

_B: & why is that? It's reliable, dependable and always available_

_E: U could use me instead. I have those same 3 traits_

_B: I don't know U seem like a rookie_

A fucking rookie. What the hell was she talking about. I wasn't a rookie. This wasn't my first year on the tour.

What the fuck was a good come back? She was getting me all flustered. Dammit! Maybe I did need to call in my coach or was that cheating? Hell.

_E: I'll have you know I'm a well seasoned pro. _

_B:U sure don't act like it. U seem to strike out a lot _

Strike out? Were we playing baseball now? What the fuck. I always seemed to be on the wrong fucking playing field with the wrong equipment.

_E: U don't give me much of an opportunity to show off my skills_

_B: So far I've seen no skills. You've double faulted every time you were up or pulled a FRED_

Okay, at least I knew we were back on the tennis court again, but who or what the fuck was a Fred?

_E: Who or what the fuck is a Fred? _

_B: First Round Early Departure seasoned pros usually don't lose in the first round _

_E: You were the fucking one who walked off the court_

_B: LOL I told U I planned that _

Shit, she was getting the upper hand again. I needed to bring her down a notch. Her ranking needed to fall.

_E: Yeah well, your grip sucked. You don't know a thing about grips. _

_B: I thought I did pretty well. I didn't hear any complaints._

_E: U had no follow through_

_B: I told U that was the game plan all along & maybe I just thought the equipment was insignificant_

I knew it. I fucking knew it. Wait a fucking minute, my equipment? Was she bashing on my equipment?

_E: I will be challenging that call. My equipment is just fine thank you. It's of the oversized variety_

_B: OK, the equipment was just fine_

Damn right the equipment was fine. I knew she couldn't refute that challenge. She had held the equipment in her hand. The equipment never lies

_E: I should ask for that in writing _

_B: Edward, if you don't like the game you can always forfeit & hit the showers _

_E: I haven't even worked up a sweat & I don't like 2 shower alone_

_B: Does this mean you forfeit_

_E: Help me work up a sweat & we'll talk about it _

_B: I'm not giving up the game_

_E: You could ask for a rain delay_

_B: Forfeit or nothing_

_E: U R no fun Bella Swan_

That sounded pretty fucking lame. I rolled my eyes and stared at the phone. I think I fucking double faulted again. Jesus Christ. Maybe I could challenge the call. How many challenges do you get? I used one, but I had won that challenge, so I kept that challenge. Ah, fucking shit.

_B: Oh I'm a hell of a lot of fun you just don't make a good tennis buddy_

This was starting to piss me off. What the fuck was a tennis buddy. Dammit all to hell. Where the fuck is my laptop.

_B: Edward are you stalling there is a time limit you know_

Fuck, now there was a time limit. I pulled up the Urban dictionary and typed in Tennis Buddy. My eyes almost fell out of my head and my dick immediately went totally rigid when I saw the definition.

Oral Sex? Playing tennis is usually kept a secret and planned out. Well fuck me. Now we were talking.

_E: I would gladly play with you. Reserve the court & I will B there_

_B: I'll C U at school tomorrow we will discuss our date then _

Just as I was about to text her back, Emmett came banging into my room.

"I thought you could use a refreshment," Emmett said. I groaned and shifted uncomfortably when he clapped me on the back.

"Jesus Christ Edward. Your dick must really like this chick."

"Shut the fuck up Emmett," I growled and took the glass of blood out of his hand. Thank gawd, we kept a little donated human blood on hand for emergencies. It wasn't as good as straight from the donor, but it would tide me over until I could grab another snack at school.

I groaned as I drank the blood, it sated the burn in my throat and hunger in my belly, however, I still had a rather large problem. These fucking hard-ons were getting old. I pushed Emmett out the door, slammed it in his face and headed to my bathroom. No use making a mess in here because once again I was going to be cleaning up my own spunk. Fucking Bella Swan, but I was only conceding half a point to her. She may have given me the hard-on from hell again, but I think we had a date and that should count for something.

Bella 3.5 Edward .5

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**Okay, review, rec and pimp the story if you liked it. I really appreciate everyone who is reading the story, lurkers and commentors alike. This has been a fun story to write. Let me know what you think. DRIZL ~**


	6. Double Fault

**I know I know...Drizl bows head. It's been awhile since the last update, but I've been with some of my other stories. Never write more than one story at a time. it's just freaking crazy! **

**Reminder...I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing her characters. Also remember this fic is rated M for a reason. Nasty language and Naughty Lemons. If that's not your thing. Do Not Read this story. **

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**Chapter 6**

**Double Fault**

I spent the long night listening to everyone in the house fighting. Alice and Rose had cut off Jasper and Emmett, so no one was happy. During breaks in the yelling, I began to set up a detailed battle plan for the next round. Actually it wasn't all that detailed, I just laid out a few simple steps to take when I got to school. First thing on the agenda was to find Bella and drag her into the auditorium. It was always deserted in the morning, making it the perfect place for our date or rendezvous or whatever the fuck she wanted to call it. It would be a comfortable, private place to dazzle her with my skills. If oral was what she was expecting, then that would be what she was going to get, because I was an ace with my tongue.

Of course, all well laid battle plans usually go up in smoke when a crafty opponent is involved.

I was sitting in my room, watching the light of day slowly creeping up the horizon when my cell phone buzzed.

_B: I'm picking U up. Be there at 730_

What the fuck? She was picking me up? I was going to have to ride to school in her crappy red truck. Oh wait, this could be a good thing. But still, me in the fucking ugly truck. I suppose I could make anything look good.

_E: Do U know where I live?_

_B:Yes_

I couldn't think of anything clever to say, so I just typed in something generic.

_E: C U then_

It didn't matter. The real game wouldn't start until I was sitting in that fucking truck next to her. That was a really small space. I was going to be nailed with her scent. The thought of sitting in that small cab with her scent swirling around me, made my teeth drip venom and my dick go hard. Fuck, it was still an hour until 7:30. Was I going to have to jerk off again?

Thank fucking God I didn't loose a point every time I got a hard-on because of her. I'd be down about 100-1. Oh wait, I didn't even a full fucking point yet. So if you're going to get technical about the whole scoring thing, it would be 100.5 to .5.

Goddamn Bella Swan.

I groaned as my dick pressed against the buttons of my jeans. I trudged into the bathroom holding my dick again. This was getting fucking old. I was tired of cleaning up spunk, tired of jacking myself off and tired of getting blue balls every time I saw or thought about Bella. This was going to be the last time. No more would I need this. She was going to do the work today. Well, after this one last time.

I'd already taken a shower and everyone in the house was starting to wonder if I was going OCD since I was in the shower everytime I needed relief from Bella. I unbuttoned my jeans, grabbed some lotion and got to work. I think my dick was actually getting sore from all this punishment. My dick needed the liquid of a woman's pussy not fucking lotion.

A growl escaped my mouth as I thought about Bella again. I closed me eyes, letting my mind wander around her body. From the long dark hair spilling over her breasts to the creamy white skin of her thighs. I imagined the taste of her hot blood dripping down my throat as I plunged my fangs into her thigh.

"Goddamn it!" I groaned and jizzed all over the floor.

I looked at the mess in front of me. Well, fuck, now she had me down on my hands and knees, cleaning my spunk off the floor. I was not going to concede a point for this, even though she probably deserved one. I did NOT just fucking say that shit.

I looked up at the clock. It was closing in on 7:30 and I needed to tell Emmett he was driving today.

This day was not starting out how I had planned. Cleaning up more spunk had not been in the battle plans, but hopefully my recent activity would help keep my dick in check if Bella decided to torture me again.

I stepped out of my bathroom to find Emmett sitting on my bed.

"Er, I was just coming to find you," I muttered, wondering if he had heard my latest bathroom rumble.

"I'm sure you were," he said, rolling his eyes and looking at my open fly.

"Fuck," I hissed and quickly buttoned up my jeans.

"Look Edward, you need to do something today about Bella. Better yet, just give it to her, so Jazz and I can go back to getting it here."

"Hey, it's not my fault Rose and Alice cut you guys off," I grunted.

"Yeah, Edward, it is. Alice thinks you need to be taught a lesson and she has recruited Rose to help her with her cause. They are both sick of how you treat women. Alice was blabbering on about love and some other crap I didn't understand, so you need to fix this shit."

I glowered at Emmett for a second and then I heard a horn honking.

"Look, I have to go. You guys are on your own today. I'm riding to school with Bella," I said.

"Just fucking get it right today, Edward," Emmett snarled.

I grunted at him and left him sitting on my bed. He was muttering about lack of action cramping his style.

Alice met me at the bottom of the stairs but I quickly stepped around her. I didn't need her in my face too.

She stamped her foot and yelled at me. "Edward, you are going to have to talk to me sooner or later."

I turned my back on her, dismissing her with a casual wave. I was so going to pay for that. I'm sure she was still pissed when I blew her off to go see Tanya.

Fuck, I had crazy women coming at me from every direction. No wonder I was screwing up everything.

I couldn't think about Alice anymore. I needed to get ready for this next match. I adjusted my equipment and headed out to Bella and her fucking ugly ass truck.

She was leaning up against the door, wearing the shortest black skirt I had ever seen. It bordered on obscene. I could see nothing but bare leg begging to be touched. This had to be illegal. Didn't you have to wear white or something when you played tennis? Wasn't there something in the rule book about how short a skirt could be? Where was the line judge when you needed one? Were we still playing tennis? I was getting confused.

Someone whistled from the house. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jazz standing on the porch, waving a white towel. Could you throw in the towel during a tennis game? I flipped him off.

It didn't help one's confidence when the crowd was hostile and abusive. I had enough problems dealing with the opponent.

"Hey Cullen," Bella said.

"Swan," I mumbled, brushing by her.

Holy fuck I shouldn't have walked that close to her. Her scent went straight up my nose. I had to shut the breathing down before my dick literally jumped out of my pants and attacked her. I needed to keep my mind in the game and going down was the objective today. Actually, I think my objective was to get blown and possibly find out if Bella Swan swallowed. That would be good for some bonus points for me.

I opened the passenger door and climbed in the cab. Sweet motherfucking shit, it was really small in here. Bella slid into the driver's seat. I stopped breathing again and tried to keep my eyes locked on the driveway.

She jammed the truck in gear and sped down the road. I looked back at the house. Fucking Jasper was still on the porch waving that goddamn white towel. Glad to know my own brother had faith in me.

Fucker.

I decided to take the initiative and rush the net. God, I hope we were still on the fucking tennis court, because if we weren't I didn't know what the hell I was going to do. Why couldn't Bella just be a normal chick whose mind I could break into and then I could just fuck her and be done with it.

I took a sideways glance at her. Could I just fuck her once or twice and be done with her? Holy shit, did I just think that? I was Edward fucking Cullen, I did not date chicks. I fucked them.

"Christ, get back in the game," I muttered to myself.

"Did you say something Cullen?"

"Er, just that it's a little early to be going to school. I don't have class for another hour," I said.

"I didn't say we were going to school yet," she said as she bit on her lower lip.

My dick quivered. I narrowed my eyes at her and silently told my dick to stay out of this conversation. She could mean we were going for coffee. I was not going to assume anything anymore.

I decided to go for a drop shot and then move in for the smash. I slid across the seat so I was almost touching her. She didn't react. She kept her hands on the steering wheel and her eyes focused on the road. What the hell? She was able to return everything I was hitting at her. I needed to change up the game a little, maybe toss in a slice backhand or two, and add some more spin to the ball.

I laid my hand on her knee. Her skin was warm and soft and very inviting. My dick was begging to get in the game. I ignored it and told myself to focus on her. I wasn't going to worry about myself. Holy fuck, who was saying this shit. Edward Cullen was always looking out for number one. Christ, I must be dropping in rank. Maybe I should call the fucking doctor out to the court. I think I was losing my fricking mind.

Fuck it. I ran my hand up to the hem of her skirt, which really was near her hip. I followed the hem until I came to her center, and then I went for broke, sliding my hand under her skirt. I nearly choked. What the fuck was she wearing under this skirt? It felt like a tiny piece of string. So much venom filled my mouth, I actually thought about spitting it on the floor. I swallowed loudly. Bella snickered and turned the wheel of the truck so quickly it made me slam into her body. Obviously we were leaving the highway. My hand slipped across her hot crotch causing her to hiss in my ear. I looked up to see us heading toward a very large tree.

"Fuckin' A, Swan," I shouted. "Hit the goddamn brakes!"

She slammed down on them, sending my head into the fucking dashboard. I glanced over at her to make sure she was okay before I went into playing up my injury. Of course, I really wasn't hurt. One small bump on the head didn't do anything to a vampire. The mark would be gone in seconds, but I figured a little injury time-out may be to my advantage.

"Edward, are you okay," she yelped.

"I think so," I stuttered, laying it on a little thick.

"Let me see," she said, yanking my hands away from my head. I wondered if there was any sort of mark left? She moved my hair off my forehead, checking for any telltale injuries.

"I thought you hit your head," she said.

"I did. Maybe the injuries are internal," I moaned, rolling my eyes.

She still had her hands plastered against my face. This was my opportunity to move in for the kill. Wrong choice of words, but you know what I mean.

I grabbed her, yanking her to me. Of course, the force of the movement caused her body to smash into the steering wheel.

"Fuck Cullen, that hurt," she snapped at me.

"Er, sorry," I mumbled.

She was rubbing her side. I was now standing at the back of the court totally fucking off my game. I growled and decided to try this again, but this time with a little bit more grace.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

I moved slowly, running my hand up through her thick dark hair. I turned her face to mine and gently placed a very chaste kiss on her soft lips. I think I heard her sigh. Well, fuck, I must be on to something. I tried to maneuver her so I could have more access to the center of her court.

There was an awful lot of grunting as we tried to position ourselves. Goddammit, there wasn't a hell of a lot of room in this fucking truck. At least the shift was on the steering column and not in the middle of the seat.

She was half laying down, leaning up against the driver's door. I think the door handle was jamming her in the back. She did not look fucking comfortable.

I tried to position myself over her. Jesus Christ, I felt like a fucking contortionist. Did we switch to gymnastics or something.

Fucking A.

"This is not fucking working Cullen. Could you just move," she grunted and lifted her knee up and caught me right in the family jewels. I collapsed on her.

"SHHHIIITTTT!" I groaned, grabbing my package.

"You're fucking crushing me, Cullen," she gasped, clawing at my back.

My voice was up about two octaves and I couldn't get any words to come out of my mouth. She was trying to push me off of her.

"Give me a fucking minute," I hissed.

It took me a few seconds before I noticed my face was buried in her boobs. My cock was still throbbing, but now it was for different reasons. I went for broke and popped a button on her shirt with my fucking teeth. She gasped when I shoved my tongue under the lace of her black bra, catching a bit of her nipple. She arched her back. Finally, I was doing something right. I went for a second ace, shifting my weight so I could get my hands under her skirt. Christ, this was awkward.

Bella tried to sit up, and I really don't know what fucking happened next but somehow the she hit the door handle and the door popped open. She almost fell out of the cab. This was not going well. It was becoming a comedy errors instead of hot session of blow jobs and eating out.

"Pull me up, Cullen," she yelled as she was half hanging out the truck. I managed to sit back up and pull Bella into the truck. "This isn't fucking working."

"No shit," I growled.

"Don't blame me, rookie," she grumbled.

"You can't be fucking serious," I growled back.

"Yes," she grumbled and folded her arms over her chest.

"Fuck that shit, Swan," I said as I pulled her on top of me in one smooth motion. I grabbed her hair, pulling her lips down to mine. She was lucky I didn't just bite her on the neck for being such a pain in the ass. She moaned, out fucking loud, when my tongue collided with hers. Holy Fuck, she tasted so damn good I was starting to forget the main objective of this game.

"I wrapped my arms around her, crushing her to my chest. My God, she felt good.

No fucking sighing Cullen.

"Oh Cullen," she moaned into my mouth. I could feel my dick pressing up against her thigh, begging for release. Her hand was roaming on my leg. I raised my hips in fucking desperation, trying to get her to cop a feel.

I decided to forget the game plan all together. I reached under her skirt, searching for the motherland. I came in contact with hot wet pussy. Fucking A. My brain was clouding and I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I took a deep breath, bombarding myself with the sweet smell of her lust. Fuck I wanted a taste of everything.

She moaned as I slid my fingers under that thin strip of fabric she was calling underwear. Then things sort of went to fucking hell again. I was about to slip a finger into her wetness, when she must have kicked her foot back and hit the fucking gear shift. We had been parked on a small incline because the truck started fucking moving. I tried to shove her off me, but I wasn't fast enough. A few seconds later and we plowed into the fucking big ass tree. We hit with enough force that Bella almost fell to the floor of the truck. I, of course, hit my fucking head again.

She sat up so fast, her head hit me in the jaw causing me to bite my own lip. I tasted blood which made my venom flow and my dick jump to attention.

"Fuck," we both shouted.

She rubbed her head and jumped out of the truck. I sucked away my blood and glanced in the mirror to check the wound, but it had already disappeared. I crawled out of the truck, grumbling about the crappiness of this game.

The tree had more damage than the truck. I don't think the truck had a mark on it. I was however, standing knee deep in fucking mud with a hard fucking dick and nothing except some of Bella's lust on my fingers. I glanced over at her and shoved my fingers into my mouth, getting a small taste of essence of Bella. I think I fucking moaned out loud again. Christ, I was probably going to lose a point for excessive noise.

"We better go," Bella snorted. She climbed back into her truck and started it up. She backed up a little, turned the wheel and managed to get stuck. Fuck, could this day get any better.

"Do something, Cullen," she shouted out the window.

I sneered at her and went to give the truck a shove when she hit the fucking gas and sprayed me with mud. Just fucking great.

Bella put the truck in park and jumped out. She didn't even try to suppress her laughter, instead she snorted in my face and burst out laughing.

"Oh my fucking God, Cullen, I'm..." she stammered, holding her side. "I'm sorry, but at least we're not stuck anymore." She laughed some more.

I tried to wipe some of the mud off, but I was splattered with it. It was in my hair, my eyes, my jeans were spotted with it and my shirt was a fucking disaster.

"Let's go," she said in between fits of laughter.

For a few seconds I actually thought about grabbing her and throwing her into the mud. Maybe a little mud wrestling was on the card.

"Just drop me at my house," I snarled. "I obviously need a shower."

Neither of us spoke on the way back to my house. I just sat still, staring out the window, feeling the fucking mud starting to harden. She pulled into my driveway and parked the truck. I swore under my breath, got out and started walking to up to the house.

"Hey Cullen," Bella shouted. "Wait for me."

Wait for me? What the fuck was she planning next? I stopped and let her catch up with me. She patted me on the ass. I guess that was her way of telling me this round was a fucking draw. A disaster, but a draw. Neither of us got anything out of that fucking game. I decided I would smash my tennis racket and then graciously retire.

Bella 3.5 Edward .5

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**OMG ~ I just had to tell you that the truck spraying mud really happened to a friend of mine. It was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen! BAHAHAHA! See the little review button down there? Please, please push it and let me know what you think. Thanks To Everyone who is reading this story! You guys are the greatest and I do appreciate you all! Drizl**


	7. Slam Dunk and Swallow

**Not Stephenie Meyer...Just Drizl...I'm borrowing her characters cuz I think they deserve to have a little fun. Okay, Edward may not be having much fun now, but things always change...wink wink...And again...this fic is rated M for a reason! **

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**Chapter 7**

**Slam Dunk and Swallow**

Bella was following me into my house and I didn't know what the fuck she was planning now. I had smashed my tennis racket and retired. That game sucked. If she still wanted to play tennis, I was going to tell her to get the fuck out and find someone else.

What the hell was I thinking? Was I throwing in the towel?

I opened the front door, took my shoes off and carefully started peeling off my dirty clothing. Esme would kill me if I tracked mud all over the house. I heard an audible gasp when I was down to my boxers. I turned and looked at Bella standing in the entryway with her mouth hanging open.

"What the fuck are you looking at," I snapped. I was not feeling very hospitable at the moment.

"Um, er," she paused and stared at me with those big brown eyes. "Nothing! Just take a fucking shower."

"Why are you here?" I demanded.

"What?"

She looked a little taken aback by my foul mood, but come on, she had to understand.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?" I shouted. I was incredibly aggravated and really, all I wanted was to do was bite her. A heavy dose of blood would probably do me a world of good and help calm me down.

I noticed I was now standing toe to toe with her. Only I was in my fucking underwear and she was fully clothed. There was something definitely wrong with this picture.

"I..." she stammered and looked down at the floor. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."

Her voice was very quiet. Was Bella Swan actually trying to be nice to me or was this just another ploy to get me to do something stupid or worse, to give me another boner.

Do not think about the her. Do not look at her. Do not sniff her. Do not Pass Go. Do not collect $200. Just go take a fucking shower.

"I'm fine Swan. Go to school," I grumbled, glaring at her.

"Ooof," I hissed as my back hit the stairs.

She fucking tackled me. Were we playing football again or maybe rugby? I was so not in control of anything anymore.

But then her lips were on mine and I forgot what the hell I was doing. She shoved her tongue into my mouth. Sweet fucking jeezus. I ran my hands up her back, threading my fingers through her long hair.

Who was scoring here?

She was sucking on my tongue, driving me crazy. Things were started to get really heated up and I was fucking hard again. It was a frenzy of kissing, sucking and licking. I fucking wanted her and I think she wanted me.

I wrapped my arms around her, clutching her to my body. She pressed into me and my hips rose to meet her center, but the fucking stairs were uncomfortable and hampering my movements. I think it was time to take matters into my own hands and carry her up to my room where there was a bed.

"Edward!"

"Holy shit! Esme," I stuttered and pushed Bella off me, forgetting I was in my underwear. Bella slid down a few stairs before she realized what was going on. She jumped up and stared at me for a few seconds. The next moment she hauled off and slapped me across the face. My mouth dropped open as I watched her stomp out of the house.

What the fuck just happened?

"Miss, wait," Esme said. She glowered at me, spun on her heal and went after Bella.

I was left standing on the stairs very confused and to make matters even better, I had another excruciating boner which Esme had just been privy too. I mean how could she fucking miss it.

Goddamn Bella Swan.

And what the fuck was the slap for? That had to be some sort of foul or penalty. Shit, I wish I knew what we were playing and where was I supposed to file this complaint for that illegal slap to the head.

How in the fuck did all this happen? Today sucked.

I ran up the stairs to take a shower and have another jerk off session.

Fuckin' A.

When I got to my room, I could hear voices coming from outside. Instead of getting right into the shower, I decided to see if I could eavesdrop on Bella and Esme. I slid the door open and stepped out onto my balcony but Bella was getting into her pickup and Esme was coming back inside. I ran into my bathroom, turned the shower on and grabbed my dick. You would think with all the drama, my erection would have disappeared but it didn't seem to matter to my dick. All he wanted was to be buried in Bella.

"Fuck!" I groaned. I needed a quick release so once again, I tormented myself with thoughts of Bella. This time I thought of what it felt like to have her hot little body spread out on top of me and fuck, it had felt great.

"Christ!" I groaned and came hard. I watched the water wash my spunk down the drain. At least I didn't have to clean anything up. I grumbled and finished my shower, getting dressed and hoping to God I wouldn't have to face Esme.

Of course she was sitting on my bed waiting for me. This day was officially in the fucking toilet.

"Edward," she said softly.

"Look Esme, I'm sorry for that," I mumbled.

"I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have interrupted you, but I thought you were killing the girl."

"No, it wasn't like that. I wasn't even trying to get a drink. I mean I was trying..."

Could this get anymore embarrassing? Esme was like a mother to me and who in the hell wanted to talk about sex with your mother? And to make matters worse, mine had just fucking walked in on me and been treated to my boner from hell.

Stake me. Someone just put me out of my misery.

"Do you actually like this girl," Esme asked, sounding a little hopeful.

"It's complicated," I grunted.

It was complicated. I didn't know how to describe this sick relationship I had with Bella Swan. I don't think you could even call it a relationship.

"Just be nice to her Edward," she said. "She seems to be taken with you."

What the fuck? Taken with me? Yeah she was fucking trying to take me on a slow ride to hell. Maybe Esme should have this conversation with Bella. She needed a bit of schooling on being nice.

"Fine, I'll try to be nice," I muttered. I rolled my eyes and gave her a fake smile.

"You better get to school. I think the forecast is calling for a few sunny days."

Esme gave me a quick hug and disappeared downstairs. I think she was humming as she walked out of my room. What the fuck was up with that?

I was having a terrible time understanding all the women around me. What was one more.

I was ecstatic with what Esme said about the sunny days. I wanted to jump up and down and do a little happy dance. Sunshine meant the game would have to be delayed. Thank fucking God, because I really needed a break from Bella Swan. All I had to do was get through this fucking day. I could do that. It was only one day. What more could go fucking wrong. No one could have that much bad luck thrust in their face in one day. I was pretty sure I was fucking safe. Today had already sucked. It could only get better from here.

I grabbed a baseball hat and smashed it over my unruly hair. I flipped some shades on too. Might as well look the part of a big leaguer. Maybe a little baseball was on tap today. Yeah, fucking baseball. Hitting a home run would definitely help me recover from this disaster of a morning.

By the time I arrived at school, I had only missed first period. Esme had called the school with some sort of excuse for my tardiness so I didn't have to come up with a clever lie. Thank fucking God because my brain was still not functioning at top form.

"Hey, baby brother," Jasper said, banging into me with his shoulder.

"I'm late," I grunted, shoving Jasper out of my way.

"I take it things didn't go well," he shouted after me.

I saluted him with my middle finger and left him standing in the hall snickering. He was probably waving that stupid white towel again.

I was just about to my class when I heard a small voice calling my name. It couldn't be? For a minute I actually thought about ignoring her and going to my class.

She whispered my name again. I turned to see Bella standing in the shadows signaling me to come join her. I paused, not sure what course of action to take. I didn't know what equipment I needed and frankly, she was starting to scare me. I was fucking losing my girl mojo.

"What do you want," I asked, keeping my distance from her.

"I know you're pissed, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for slapping you. Your mom just freaked me out. I didn't want her to think I was easy," she said.

"Easy? Swan, there's nothing about you that's easy," I snorted. "I'm late for class."

"Wait, Edward."

My name rolling off her tongue startled me. She didn't call me Cullen. What the hell was up? I froze when I felt her hand on my arm. She proceeded to snake her hands around my waist, clasping them together in the front. Was she fucking hugging me? I was as still as a statue.

"Can't we start over," she asked. "I know I've been a little bit of a bitch."

A little bit of a bitch. My fucking God what was she like if she went all out. The thought that Bella had been holding back on her debauchery toward me, made me want to puke.

"I don't know," I stuttered. I raked my hand through my hair. A crowd was starting to gather around us as the bell rang, signaling class was going to start.

"Come on. Let's ditch next period." I could feel her stand up on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Her hot little tongue ran over my earlobe and I crumbled like a fucking beginner. Christ.

"Fine, where are we going," I asked. A murmur went up from the surrounding crowd. I opened up my mind and let the voices fill my head.

_He's a fucking dead man. She has him exactly where she wants him. How can he let her play him like that? She's like a fucking lioness teasing her prey. She's a genius. Finally, he's gonna get his due. What a fucking dickhead. Destroy him. _

Christ, I needed to get out of this hostile environment. Clearly I was not the fan favorite. I should vamp voodoo them all, but that would take too long and right now I didn't fucking care because Bella had slid her hand into my front pocket. I could feel her fingers against my dick which of course, was as hard as the frigging cinder block walls.

Bella giggled and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the hall. The sea of students parted and dissipated. I almost thought they would be following us to view whatever horror was going to happen next. Maybe she had been passing out tickets. I shuddered at the thought.

I let Bella drag me down the hall. I swallowed hard when she opened the door to the dark auditorium. The only light in the room was the glow from three exit signs. As far as I could tell, the place was deserted.

"What are we doing here," I hissed. This was my original planned destination for the day. Too bad I couldn't remember any of the plays I had designed.

"I told you I would make everything up to you," she giggled.

"Why?"

I was thoroughly confused again. I was probably playing right into her hand. She started coming at me and I backed up, banging my legs against a chair. I sat down hard and damned if she didn't come and straddle me. What the fuck was going on?

She smiled at me, licking her lips.

"Relax Edward," she whispered as her mouth brushed against mine.

Right, as if I could fucking relax. I was waiting for the backboard to come crashing down on my head as she went for the slam dunk. She shifted her weight on my lap, wiggling around until my dick was fucking standing at attention again.

She was now nipping and licking my neck, trailing kisses further down until she reached the buttons on my shirt. I wasn't moving, wasn't breathing and I definitely wasn't touching her. I was afraid if I moved someone would call a foul on me. I was letting her take the lead. She was going to destroy me anyway. She unbuttoned all the buttons on my shirt and shoved my t-shirt up around my neck.

Her fingers danced lightly against my skin. Christ, I wanted to moan and grab her, but I kept still. She kissed my chest, making little circles with her tongue when she came to my nipples.

Fuck, I bit my lip.

Her hair was fanned out across my chest, tickling me as she moved ever closer to the promised land. I could feel every single muscle in my entire body tense when she stopped at the button of my jeans. She slid off my lap and was now kneeling in front of me. I couldn't take this anymore. I held my breath waiting for her to slam it home and exit the court.

I closed my eyes. I didn't need to see the carnage she was creating because I could feel it everywhere. The top button of my jeans was now open and I felt her slide the zipper down. The monster was about to be released. She was probably going to bolt out of here at any minute. I braced myself for the inevitable, trying to form some sort of plan in my head for how I was going to relieve this ache in my dick once she disappeared.

I felt her tugging on my boxers. I obliged her by lifting my ass off the chair. Might as well put the final nail in the coffin. She pulled my boxers down to my knees and lightly raked her fingernails down my dick.

"Unngggh," I groaned. I gripped the arm rests of the chair, hoping I didn't yank them off or crush them.

The ball was in her court now. It always fucking was, but now I was just going to hand it to her. If she wanted to destroy me, now could be her finest hour. I shuddered, wondering what awful shit was going to rain down on me, but all I felt was her tongue on the tip of my dick. Was this really going to happen this time?

I wasn't going to pop the cork on the champagne yet. Maybe I should just put it on ice for now and wash a couple of glasses.

"Hmmm," she hummed as she slowly took my dick into her wet hot mouth. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head. She was creating a sweet slow rhythm using her mouth and her hand. She was sucking down hard and I was getting so close that I didn't dare think about it. She had taken me this far before and then denied me. I was waiting for it to happen again.

"Swan, I'm gonna...cum...unnhhh.."

And I fucking did. Hard. And she fucking swallowed, licking her lips as my hot juices ran down her throat.

"Okay, Cullen, that makes us even."

I couldn't say anything. I leaned back in the chair and watched her walk out of the auditorium. Shit, my brain had turned to fucking mush. I pulled my boxers and jeans up. Guess it was time to go to class, that is if I could walk. I was about to pull down my t-shirt when Mrs. Cope walked in, flicking on the lights. She stopped and gaped at my bare chest. I yanked my t-shirt down as fast as I could.

"Why am I not surprised," she grumbled.

I rolled my eyes, tipped my baseball cap and sprinted out of the auditorium. I wonder how that round was going to be scored? Screw it, I had suffered enough today so I was taking the points. I got off, she swallowed and all seemed to be right with the world for the moment.

Bella 3.5 Edward 1.5

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**Phew, I just couldn't keep denying Edward. He was getting awfully close to quitting the game, so I had to give him something to keep him interested. **

**Reviews are like really great sex...Much appreciated and freaking loved! Push the review button, I know you want to. Thanks to everyone who is reading and/or reviewing this fic. You guys are awesome. Thanks, Drizl **


	8. No Biting Allowed

**Thank Gawd! It's great to be back with Game on Baby! It's just me again, Drizl. I'm borrowing Steph Meyer's characters for a little bit so they can have a little fun. This fic is rated M for naughty lemons and nasty language, so don't read it if it's not your thing. **

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**Chapter 8**

**No Biting Allowed**

I coasted through the rest of the morning. Getting a good blow job from a chick that swallows usually does that to a guy. I was even ready for lunch and everything my brothers were going to throw at me. I figured I'd let them get a peek in my head and hit them with the fucking blow job. That should get them off my back for a little while. I just had to make sure Alice wasn't around. I didn't need her in there. She would probably think I tricked Bella into pleasuring me. I don't think Alice knew I couldn't vamp voodoo Bella.

I stopped at my locker and ditched the baseball hat. Baseball just wasn't going to happen this afternoon.

I wandered through the lunch line, mindlessly grabbing some food. I strolled over to my regular table and did a quick peruse around the room before I sat down. Yep, everyone was certainly staring at me. I wanted to flip them all off and tell them about my morning. Instead I settled for a leering smile. I figured it would give them all something to gossip about over lunch.

I looked down at the plate of food sitting in front of me. I wanted to toss it on the fucking floor, instead I moved the shit around my plate and pretended to be enjoying this wonderful meal. Why couldn't they have a blood cocktail waiting for me? Better yet, maybe one of the servers could just offer me up their arm.

I enjoyed a few more moments to myself before Jasper spotted me.

"Hey Edward, what happened? It's all over the school that Bella dragged you off this morning."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Doesn't anyone have anything better to do than to spy on my every move?"

"I doubt it. This is the most excitement we've had in this school since Jessica dumped that glass of lemonade over your head," he said. "So, tell me you scored or something."

"Or something," I muttered.

"You mean you finally got something. What? Fucking tell me, so I can fling it in Alice's face. She's still not talking to me," Jasper shouted and tossed his tray of food on the table.

"Alice is not one of my problems," I hissed at him, knowing full well that was a goddamn lie.

"What the fuck Edward, Alice is always a huge problem when she's pissed. This whole situation is all your fucking fault!" He actually banged his fist on the table. The entire lunch room looked over at us. Jasper smiled and waved.

"If you want to blame this whole fucking mess on someone, blame it on Bella."

"Ya know, if you would just score, we could be done with all this," Jasper grimaced. "You do want this to be over. Right?"

I stared at him for a few seconds.

"Goddammit, Edward."

"What? I mean hell yeah, I want to fucking score and be done with her ass."

Jasper looked at me like he didn't believe a word I just said. I did want to be done with her ass...didn't I?

"Look Edward, Alice wants to talk to you and you can't avoid her forever," Jasper growled. "Just fucking talk to her."

Jasper seemed to be pleading with me. What the hell? He didn't get it for two days and immediately he acts like someone is killing him. What the fuck about me? I was being slowly tortured to death.

"Great," I mumbled.

"The longer you wait, the worse it's going to be," he said.

I knew Jasper was right. Once, and Jasper claims he has no clue why, Alice was mad at him and wanted to talk about the ordeal. Since Jasper didn't know what was going on, he avoided her for a week. She was so pissed I don't think she let him touch her for like a month. Jasper claims he almost died from lack of sex. Well, Alice couldn't hang that over my head, but she could be a huge annoyance so I decided I would let her pummel me tonight.

"Fine, I'll talk to her tonight," I grumbled.

Boy, Bella must have blew my brains out; I usually was not this agreeable.

Jasper cleared his throat. It sounded like he was being strangled.

"What is wrong with you?"

He raised his eyebrows, looking over my shoulder. I turned around to find Bella standing behind my chair.

"Mind if I join you," Bella asked sweetly.

I narrowed my eyes at her, desperately hoping to get a read on her. I knew I couldn't get into her mind, but it didn't stop me from trying again. This was so fucking annoying. If I only knew what she was thinking everything would be so much easier for me.

She didn't wait for my answer. She set her tray down and slid into the chair next to me. She introduced herself to my traitorous brother who immediately started schmoozing with her. I rolled my eyes. First my dick, then Esme and now my brother. Was everyone falling for Bella's nice facade.

Emmett was the next one to get caught in the web of the Black Widow Swan. What the hell? Was this girl going to devour my entire family. They were laughing and carrying on like they had known each other for years. My gag reflex was on high alert.

Alice and Rosalie finally showed up, pulling more chairs around the table and shoving Bella closer to me. I didn't need this right now. My entire family was switching teams. I was going to be left on my own.

"It was really nice meeting you all. We should hang out sometime," Bella said,

"You should come over on Friday. We could have a sleep over," Alice squealed.

What?

A sleep over?

What the hell?

No fucking way!

Jasper kicked my shin under the table. He must have noticed I had crushed my fork. I stuffed the mangled piece of silverware into my pocket.

"Cullen," Bella bumped my shoulder.

"What," I grunted.

"It's time for class," she said.

She lightly touched my hand. The gentleness offered up in that one small gesture freaked me out and I jerked my hand away, shoving it in my pocket. What was left of the fork jabbed me in the finger. This day was going back into the fucking shit hole again.

Alice and Rose linked arms with Bella and headed out to the hall. They were whispering and giggling. Whispering, giggly girls were always up to no good.

"What the fuck is going on," I snapped at Jasper.

"Don't look at me little brother," Jasper said.

I needed someone to blame for this fiasco. It was fucking Alice who suggested it. Dammit, was Bella Swan really going to be in my house for the whole night?

"Edward, this could be a good thing," Emmett said. He actually sounded hopeful.

"How in the fuck could this be a good thing?" I snapped.

"Home ice advantage," he whispered.

Maybe Emmett was right. Playing on my own turf could be a benefit. Although I was at home this morning and that had not exactly gone as planned.

"Cullen, let's go," Bella shouted and waved at me. "We're going to be late for class."

"You do know you're in deep shit," Jasper said.

"Tell me about it," I grumbled. I had no choice but to follow Bella and the two other giggling girls who called themselves my sisters.

I felt like they were trading me for a new player. I was not happy about any of this.

Emmett clapped me on the shoulder. "Look Edward, Jazz and I have your back. "

I grunted at him. I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Alice and Rose disappeared down another hallway. Bella turned and gave me a small smile. It sorta scared me again. I was so off my game that I was turning into a pussy.

It was time to lace up the skates and get down to business. I needed to remind myself that I was Edward fucking Cullen. I was a vampire and I knew what I wanted. I could fucking play this game and destroy the competition.

My only problem was a rather large one, so far I had failed miserably when it came to getting some. Except for the blow job this morning. I could focus on that, build on it and move forward.

Fuck, I sounded like a complete douch bag. What the hell was happening to me?

I was in a daze when I walked into the Biology room. I couldn't stop thinking about her spending an entire night at my house. A house full of vampires. And me. And my room was next to Alice's room. And her in pajamas. Fuck, maybe she didn't wear pajamas.

Jesus, stop thinking about naked Bella.

Bella steered me to my seat. I think everyone in the classroom was laughing at me again. For some reason Bella sat down and immediately moved her chair closer to me.

I wasn't paying attention to anyone. I was still trying to get naked images of Bella out of my head. I made the mistake of looking into her deep chocolate eyes. I think she was pulling out that hypnotizing shit again. I couldn't even tie my skates correctly. Were we playing hockey or did I just make that part up in my mind?

Coach?

And then things went from confusing to fucking terrible.

Banner told everyone to shut up. Angela was busy handing stuff out to everyone. She set a little plastic tray on our desk. The tray contained some glass slides, something that looked like a pen and bandages. Time seemed to stop as my brain processed exactly what was in that little plastic tray. Holy fucking shit! I looked up at the screen to see, much to my fucking horror, BLOOD TYPING.

"Oh fuck," I hissed.

I needed to get out of here, now. But how? I couldn't just freak and bust out of the classroom. I was getting really agitated, fidgeting in my seat. The shit was going to hit the fan if I was in here when the blood started to flow, especially Bella's.

"Cullen," Bella said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing...I..."

My mind was racing, looking for a means of escape. I needed to get Alice here.

_Alice, get me out of fucking Biology!_

I couldn't feel her anywhere. I started to wonder if Alice was shutting me out.

She wouldn't do that? Would she?

Banner began explaining to the class how the lab would work. He must have said the word blood like fifty times in one sentence. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. The ice in the arena was starting to melt and I didn't know what the fuck to do. Reinforcements needed to be called in.

_Alice, for fuck's sake. Help me! I promise I'll talk to you tonight. _

People started pricking their fingers. There was blood everywhere. The sound, the smell, the sight. Holy shit. I needed to get out of this classroom before I had every single one of these people for a snack.

Wasn't play supposed to stop when a player was bloody? Come on, someone needed to stop this. Ref, Ump, Linesmen, Coach...anyone. I wasn't above whimpering at this moment. I didn't want to expose me or my entire family.

Once again I had a mouth full of venom. I needed to spit it on the floor or I was going to gag on it. I grabbed a paper towel and wiped my mouth. I seemed to be drooling a little.

"What's the matter Cullen? A little squeamish around blood?" Mike Newton said thrusting his bloody finger in my face.

"Leave him alone, Mike. Don't be such a dick," Bella snapped, pushing Mike's hand away from me.

Holy fuck, was she defending me? She turned to me and all I could see was that single drop of luscious blood rolling down her finger. And then she fucking stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked the blood off. I almost fainted.

"Edward, you look really pale. I mean worse than usual. I think you should get out of here," she whispered in my ear. I could smell the blood on her breath.

God dammit I needed to quit breathing, but that was easier said then done.

Fuck me. I didn't know what to do.

Bella had put her finger back in her mouth, sucking on it again. She slowly pulled it out and stared at it. I watched as another little drop of blood formed and started to drip. I lost my shit and grabbed her hand, wanting desperately to run my tongue over that small little drop.

_ALICE..._I screamed in my head.

"Did you want a taste, Cullen?"

My brain shut down. Did Bella just ask me if I wanted a taste? A taste of what? Blood? Her? All of the above? Holy fucking shit, I had another hard-on from hell.

Well, fuck don't mind if I do.

She was still waggling her finger in front of my face. I grasped her wrist harder and moved that finger to my lips. My tongue touched the small drop of blood and the taste exploded in my mouth, almost sending me into a frenzy. I swear the fucking zipper on my pants was going to explode.

"Cullen, ouch, let go. You're fucking biting my finger," she hissed.

Shit, I suppose someone is going to tell me there is no biting in hockey? Would a penalty be called for biting? Was there any sport where biting was involved and allowed?

I let go before I shattered all her wrist bones or worse, clamped down on her throat. And then I bolted, running into Alice as I tore out of the classroom. I could hear the entire class burst out laughing as I exited the room. I didn't give a fuck. If they only knew. I could have killed the entire class in the blink of an eye and they were fucking laughing at me.

Banner appeared in the doorway. Alice launched into some family emergency bullshit and it seemed I was off the hook. I may have been off the hook with Banner, but now Alice owned a piece of me. There would be no more avoiding her. I was going to have to bite the bullet and talk to her.

I adjusted my dick right as Mrs. Cope came around the corner.

"Edward, aren't you supposed to be in Biology," she asked. I could see she was trying to keep her eyes away from my dick.

"Um, they're blood typing," I muttered. "Er, I mean I have a family emergency."

She snorted. "I see where all your blood is."

She walked away from me mumbling about blood and size. I tuned her out.

Just fucking great, Mrs. Cope was talking about my dick and I could still hear the laughter echoing from the Biology room.

Alice caught up with me just as I pushed the front door open. I tried to ignore her for a few seconds. I needed to cleanse my palate of Bella's blood. If I thought about it much longer I was going to rush back into Biology and fucking whisk her away. And no one would be able to stop me.

"If they only knew," I hissed.

Once outside, I took a deep breath to rid my nose of the smell of blood. I spit a few times for good measure.

"Fuck Edward," Alice yelled. "Don't be so gross."

"Hey, you'd be spitting too if someone just shoved a bloody finger into your mouth."

"Holy...really? Bella let you taste her bloody finger?"

"She fucking offered it up on a silver platter."

Alice stopped talking to me. She followed behind me, muttering to herself about that stupid sleepover on Friday.

I couldn't even begin to think about that fucking sleep over right now.

I walked over to my car, slid inside and turned the music on really loud. I needed to calm down before I put the key in the ignition. I didn't dare drive when I was so hyped up. Going one hundred fifty miles per hour was usually frowned upon in Forks.

Shit, I should have stayed at home today. The day had just progressively gotten worse. Unbelievable, but fucking true.

This hockey game would be continued when all the fucking blood was cleared off the ice.

Jesus Christ!

Bella 3.5 Edward 1.5 (I should get something for tasting her blood and not fucking killing her)

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**Well, f*ck me. BAHAHAHA! I'm sorry putting Edward in Biology when they were blood typing was mean. Thanks again to everyone who is reading this story. Please push review and let me know what you think. C'mon out lurkers and play! I've said it before getting reviews is like great sex, they ROCK! More hockey in the next chapter cuz it's hockey tourney time where I live. I'm out Drizl!!**


	9. Sticky Situations

**I know it's been ages since I updated this story, but I have an excuse really...My poor laptop got the mother of all virus's and it devoured Windows. I had to send the poor thing to the doc to get debugged, but now we are back and armed to the teeth. Okay, I'm not Steph Meyer. I'm just Drizl borrowing her awesome characters and letting them have a little more fun in the process. This fic is rated M for a very good reason. It contains naughty lemons and nasty language. So stop if you are not into that shizz. Now let's get back to the game! **

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**Chapter 9 **

**Stick-y Situations **

Alice jumped in the passenger seat and proceeded to hit me on the head with a magazine. A rather large fucking fashion magazine.

"Hey, I'm pretty sure that isn't allowed," I hissed at her.

"How can you be so smart and yet, so goddamn stupid," Alice shouted.

I wasn't in the mood to decipher Alice speak. It had been a long fucked up day and I was hoping this was going to be an extended period break for me. I was still having a difficult time with the taste of Bella's blood lingering in my mouth. It made me want to sprint back into the school and bite someone. I needed to spit again or drown in the venom that was collecting in my mouth. I opened the window, snagged one up and let one go.

"Edward, if you do that again in front of me, I'm going to make sure you're on the bench for a month."

My hand immediately covered my junk. Alice never laid out idle threats.

"Look, I'm fucking drowning in venom here."

"Did Bella really let you taste her blood."

I moaned. "Yes."

"She really must like you."

"Like me?" My voice rose about three octaves. "Are you fucking kidding me. How could you think she likes me? She wants to fucking destroy me."

"Oh, Edward, if she really wanted to do you in she could have done that in one day. She would have eaten you for breakfast."

Eat me for breakfast? That innocent statement brought back the adventures of this morning. Just thinking about shit like that made my dick twitch and caused more venom to fill my mouth. I gagged a bit, but managed to swallow the shit down. Fucking Alice.

"Look Edward, it may have started out as a game. Ya know with her trying to bring you to your knees and make you cry for mercy, but I know for a fact she likes you."

"Alice please don't fuck with me. I need to keep my head in the game."

"Not that shit again. Edward, look at me,"Alice snapped.

Crap, Crap, Crap. I didn't want to have the talk with Alice right now. I wanted to go home, take my skates off and soak my head in a bucket of ice. Or maybe I should soak my stick, ahem my dick, in the ice water.

"Look Alice, what the fuck do you want to hear from me. I barely know this chick. To tell you the truth, she scares the shit out of me. I don't understand her. She's not like all the girls around here." I snapped my mouth shut. I was fucking whining again. What were these women doing to me? I was Edward Cullen and I had never needed to whine in my life. I think I needed a break from chicks. Well, fuck I needed to push that thought out of my head.

"Edward are you listening to me," Alice yelled.

"Uh, yeah what?" I mumbled.

"Pay attention Edward! I was just trying to explain to you that Bella is different and I really think you guys belong together. Fuck Jessica Stanley. I can take care of her."

What did Jessica have to do with any of this. Oh wait, this was supposed to be her not so subtle way of bringing me down for dumping her. I shook my head because it wasn't like I dated Jessica. I just did her. These chicks know how to blur the lines.

"If I let you take care of Jessica will you let Jasper off the hook?"

"I was going to talk to him tonight," she giggled.

"I don't think he's interested in talking," I smirked.

"Call off this ridiculous game and talk to Bella. She's really a nice girl."

I raised my eyebrows wondering if Alice would think she was so nice if she knew all the shit Bella had pulled on me.

"Uh, Edward, I know all the shit she pulled on you. I was sorta helping her after her grand performance in Biology. She didn't know how to follow that one up because it was just plain genius on her part."

What the Fuck!? My own sister was in on trying to destroy me.

I gaped at her in horror. "How could you?"

"You deserved everything she did to you Edward. Ever since we came to Forks you've been humping everything in sight with no regards for anyone's feelings. It was all take, take and take some more with you. You thought that with a little vamp voodoo you could get away with anything, but then you started getting careless about taking the memories away from these girls. You left a lot of the memories intact."

Jeez, Alice was probably right but there was no way I was ever going to admit it out loud. I had been careless and some of the stuff I'd done was just fucking rude.

Alice poked me in the chest to get me to look at her.

"Don't deny it Edward."

"I'm not fucking denying it, but I have my reasons," I growled hoping this was the end of our conversation.

"What possible reasons could you have for being an ass to all these girls?"

"Sometimes it gets a little sickening having to watch my entire family all paired off and so in love all the time. I'm the fucking odd man out. Maybe I want what you all have. Maybe I'm a little jealous. Have you ever thought about that!" I shouted. Fuck, I hadn't intended on saying out loud.

I grimaced waiting for a snarky comeback, but none came. For several minutes Alice was speechless. Well, damn, I don't think I ever remember a moment when Alice didn't have something to say. I should be taking notes, Jasper was never going to believe me.

Alice looked like she was about to answer me when someone tapped on her window. Shit, my senses were so fucked up the whole town could sneak up on me. Alice rolled down her window. Bella's scent wafted into the car and woke up my dick again. I groaned and tried to think about the paper I had to write for English class.

"Hi Alice. I wanted to make sure Edward was okay. He looked pretty sick in Biology. I didn't think he was going to be able to walk out of class."

Well, that comment deflated the old ego. Bella probably thought I was some pansy-ass who fainted at the sight of blood.

"Oh, our boy is just fine," Alice said patting my knee. I flinched because her hand was a little too close to the junk for comfort.

Bella proceeded to lean into the car and whisper something in Alice's ear. I should have paid attention to what she was saying, but my eyes had other intentions. All I could see was cleavage. The sight fucked with my brain. Maybe I had a concussion? Could you suffer brain damage from having cleavage thrust in your face.

"Edward," Alice snapped.

"What," I said coming up out of my stupor and tearing my eyes away from Bella's boobs. God I wanted to fill my hands with them.

"I forgot my English book, I'll be right back," Alice said. Something about the way she looked at me terrified me. She had an evil glint in her eye. Fuck I should have paid attention to what her and Bella had been talking about. Girls whispering was never a good thing.

Alice jumped out of the car before I had a chance to say anything. Bella and her fucking intoxicating scent slid into the front seat. She proceeded to roll up the window, essentially trapping her mouthwatering smell in the car. And believe me my mouth was fricking watering, to the point where I wanted to spit again.

"Are you sure you're okay," Bella asked in a sexy, breathy voice.

"I'm fine," I grunted and stared at the CD player. It was safer than looking into her chocolate brown eyes. She'd probably try to hypnotize me again and make me say something stupid.

Mike Newton banged on the window and jumped across the hood of my car, yelling something about a pussy. I wanted to leap out and bash his head into the boards or take a big swing at him with my stick. Yeah, I know illegal contact to the head or using your stick as a weapon is a major fucking penalty, but it would be worth it. Newton needed to see a few stars.

Bella rolled her window down again, lifting her ass off the seat and sticking half her body out the window. She screamed. "Don't be such an asshole Newton or I'll tell everyone you cried in gym class when Erik hit you in your package with the volleyball."

I couldn't take my eyes off her backside. Her skirt was riding halfway up her thigh. I bet if I scrunched down in my seat I could see under her skirt and maybe catch a glance of the little lace thing she considered panties. Bella dropped back into the car before I could position myself for a better peek. Christ, I was a pervert.

"So, Cullen, you seem to have recovered from Biology or was it just a big act to get out of class."

I shrugged my shoulders. "What is it you want Swan? Don't you need to be somewhere?"

I wasn't exactly sure why I was choosing to be an ass, but after this rather long and confusing day, I needed to regroup and the peep show was not helping my cause.

"Ya know, Cullen, I'm trying to be nice here. You could at least reciprocate."

I stared at her for a few seconds. Reciprocate? That's fucking it. I'm taking control of this goddamn game once and for all. I'll show her reciprocate. Fucking A. I pushed my door open, went around to her door, flung it open and dragged Bella out of the car. I grabbed her hand and headed for the woods.

I could hear Alice yelling at me, but I waved her off. There was no way I was coming off the ice. I was on a fucking mission.

This was it. I was charging the net. I had my favorite stick cradled in my hand with the puck resting on the blade. It was just her and me. One on One. I was going to dazzle her with my puck handling skills and then slide the puck through the five hole for a goal. After today I was going to have my name engraved on the motherfucking Stanley cup and take home the most valuable player award. I don't need one lousy point because I was going for the whole thing and if I didn't get the win today, there was going to be a bench clearing fucking brawl. This morning's blow job and the afternoon of blood tasting had sent me over the edge.

I pulled her further into the woods and stopped when I realized Bella wasn't fighting me. I glanced down at her fingers laced with mine. Her hand fit so nicely in mine. What the fuck? I was thinking girl thoughts again.

I took a chance and gazed into her eyes. Fuck a person could get lost in them. She bit her bottom lip and I lost all my senses. I hoisted her up, throwing her over my shoulder, gently patting her ass in the process. She squealed. I wasn't sure if this was legal but since Bella wasn't protesting, I didn't care.

When we were far enough into the forest I set Bella down. She licked her lips and met my stare. I decided to make my move and give her a body check into the boards, er push her up against the tree. I leaned into her, forcing her to take a step back. Her back hit the tree and a small gush of air came out of her mouth. I stepped back so I could really look at her. What the hell was that about. Usually I just went for the throat. No pun intended.

Was Alice right? Was there something between this girl and me? A strange feeling flooded my body as I stared at Bella.

I felt her hand moving up my chest. I pressed my body up against hers. She ran her fingers through my hair, pulling my face down and dragging her lips across mine. She let out a small moan. Holy shit, that was fucking hot.

"Cullen, I need you. Fuck this stupid game. I just want you," she moaned. Her words vibrated across my skin. God I wanted to bite her.

She jumped, wrapped her legs around my waist and started grinding against my totally hard dick. I could feel her hands reaching under my shirt. She was licking my lips, kissing me hard and teasing me with her tongue. Fuck, I wasn't going to last much longer. I needed to decide where I could lay her down.

She had managed to get the first button of my jeans unbuttoned. Her hand brushed over my dick. If I fucking jizzed in my pants before anything happened I was going to be pissed. I started to lower Bella to the ground when everything went to hell.

I heard a noise that sounded like someone clearing their throat.

I didn't have to turn my head, I could sense someone standing behind us. Shit.

"Mr. Cullen, I thought you had a family emergency?"

I let go of Bella and she slid down my legs almost pulling my pants off in the process. She landed on the ground with a thud and swore at me.

I froze and slowly turned around. Mrs. Cope was standing behind us with her hands on her hips. What the fuck was she doing out here in the middle of the forest? And then I heard some kids giggling and talking. Christ were they on some sort of field trip to look at the flora and fauna or hunt for rocks.

Mrs. Cope's eyes grazed over the popped button on my jeans and my engorged dick. Jesus Christ, how many times could one teacher see me with a fucking hard-on.

"On the other hand, just pretend I was never here," she groaned and went back to the kids. I heard a few gasps and there was definite pointing in our direction. My fucking equipment was on display.

Bella was stomping out of the forest.

"Wait, Swan, I'm fucking sorry," I said chasing after her, trying to button my jeans. "You can't believe I actually planned this."

"Just stay the fuck away from me Cullen. Bad things happen every time you get near me. I can't take this shit anymore," she hissed.

"You can't take this shit anymore. What the fuck. You started all this teasing and torture crap."

She stopped and glared at me.

"Maybe I did, but you played along. Besides I heard some really fucked up things about you and I wanted to see for myself if they were true," she huffed.

"And are they," I snapped.

"The jury is still out."

"What the hell does that mean?" Now I was getting pissed. "Just because Jessica told you, well, I don't really give a fuck what she told you. She was a willing participant and I never promised her anything."

I rolled my eyes because that sounded bad and made me look like a total ass. Something I was trying to avoid. I was not doing a good job.

"So is that how you roll then? Have you ever had a real girlfriend? Do you want a girlfriend or is it your goal to get in everyone's pants and then move on to the next town?"

Bella's arms were folded over her chest and she was tapping her foot like Alice did when she expected an answer.

"What does it matter to you if I've ever had a girlfriend," I snorted.

"You know what, Jessica was right. You are a jerk and I don't have time to play these games anymore."

"Throwing in the towel eh, Swan?"

"Fuck you, Cullen," she hissed, flipped me off and took off toward her truck.

Wait did she just quit the game? Did I win? How could I think I won since I didn't get anything from her except a quick BJ and now she was walking away from me. I didn't want the game to end.

"Just a fucking minute Swan," I yelled, chasing after her.

She ignored me, quickly jumping into her truck. I raced up to the window as she shoved the key into the ignition. The truck roared to life. She glared at me and jammed it in gear, almost running over my foot as she squealed out of the parking lot.

Goddamn Bella Swan! Now I was going to have to fucking chase her down. No more fucking hockey! This was going to be an all out sprint and I was going to take her down.

What the hell was wrong with this girl? Maybe all the women I'd been with had only liked me because I used my vamp voodoo on them. That was not a comforting thought at all. I had some good qualities. Didn't I? My girl mojo, along with my confidence was leaking out all over the school parking lot.

I jammed my hands into my pockets, slinking back to my car. If war was what Bella Swan wanted then she was going to get my all out full frontal assault. But in order to have the best laid battle plans I would need to hire an expert in matters of the heart. Jasper and Emmett were out on their asses. I needed the best.

I had no idea if anyone scored this afternoon. I was going to send it up to the review booth. They could sort everything out.

"Alice," I shouted.

*~*

After further review from the booth it has been determined that the only person to really score would be Mrs. Cope. She was treated to another eyeful. As she is not a participant in the game, the score will stand with Bella at 3.5 and Edward sitting at 1.5. Thank you. Please play on.

*~*

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**Once again thanks for sticking with the story. I know it's been a loooonnnnggg time between updates. Good news though, the next chapter is already well under way. Please push that sweet little reveiw button. Authors love the feedback. Thanks again for reading the story whether you comment or not I do appreciate the reads! I'm off...Drizl **


	10. Shut the F Up! You're Fired!

**Hey All! Surprise! Thought I'd get in a quick update. I really have to get back to my angsty emo story I Remember You. Haven't updated that one in ages. Writing more than one story is just crazy! One little reminder, I'm not Steph Meyer, just Drizl who is totally liking screwing with my Edward cuz he deserves it, but he's slowly coming around. Also remember that this fic is rated M for a reason. If you don't like nasty language and naughty lemons please don't read this story. **

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**Chapter 10**

**Shut the F up! You're Fired!**

"Alice," I shouted again.

Where the fuck was she? I needed her. My game was disintegrating before my eyes and I had no clue how to proceed. I stomped over to my car and pulled the door open. Jasper's bare ass greeted me.

"Jesusmotherfuckingchrist," I yelled. That was not what I needed to see at the moment.

"Close the door fuckhead, unless you need some pointers," Jasper laughed in between grunts.

I slammed the door and looked around the parking lot. There were not a lot of cars left in the lot. Most of the students and teachers had cleared out for the day.

What I really wanted to do was throw a temper tantrum and pull Jasper and Alice out of my car, but I figured Alice would be in a much better mood if I let her have her fun. They better clean up my car after they were finished. Better yet, I was going to demand they have the fucking thing detailed tomorrow.

I figure that's the least they could do since I would be stuck walking home. I suppose a quick run wouldn't kill me. Actually a nice walk through the woods might do me some good.

A nice walk through the woods? I was so losing my shit. I shook my head and started the long trek home. What the hell had happened to me these last few days?

I was floundering in unknown territory. Without the help of my mind invading skills I was lost. Why the hell couldn't I get into her mind? It was driving me crazy. I didn't have a clue what was going on in this game. Alice had said she knew Bella liked me, but then Bella had basically told me to stay the fuck away from her. This was so fucking confusing.

What if she did like me? Did I like her, _like_ _her_? Every once in awhile I would see something in her eyes, feel something in her touch or hear something in her voice that made it almost seem like she cared for me, but it was usually gone before I could be sure. Who was I kidding, I wasn't sure about anything anymore.

I walked for awhile going over things in my head when I realized I was fucking starving. The small taste of Bella's blood had awakened my hunger again. Actually Bella had awakened a lot of things or needs that were not getting taken care of, but I couldn't think about those other things. Right now, I needed to feed.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I caught the scent of a herd of deer to the east of me. Did I really want to do the vegetarian diet? I suppose it would be easier than fucking chasing down a human. What I really wanted was to go hunt Bella down and take a bite out of her. Fuck, that blood of hers. I still couldn't believe she teased me with a little taste.

The minute I thought about her sweet blood, my throat caught on fire, my mouth filled with venom and my dick sprang to life. Great, now chasing down a fucking deer was going to be more work. I groaned and adjusted myself. I didn't need anymore button prints on my dick.

Maybe I could just lean up against a tree and give myself some fucking relief. God knows I deserved some after the long afternoon I had to endure. Yeah, I could finish what Bella and I had started before Mrs. Cope and her troop of nature junkies interrupted us.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, thinking back to the afternoon in the woods. Oh, fuck me, I could almost feel Bella's legs wrapped around my waist and her wet center grinding into me. Her lips on mine, her tongue exploring my mouth.

"Fuck," I moaned.

I was so wrapped up in the memory of the taste of Bella's sweet blood and the sensation of her wet center that I didn't even hear the car stop on the side of the road.

"Edward," a voice rang out. "Edward."

I jerked my head up. Thank God I didn't have my hand down my pants. I quickly pulled my shirt down so I could hide my erection. Fucking A, my senses were so fucked up. And why had I stayed on the side of the road when I could have hidden in the woods instead of hanging out where anyone could spot me. Shit, it wasn't only my senses that were fucked up. I was on the road to a complete breakdown.

"Hey Edward, what are you doing out her all alone," Tanya giggled. "Do you need a ride."

Oh for Christ sakes, this was probably the last thing I needed. I suppose I could vamp voodoo her and make her forget she even saw me today. After all, I could use just a small drink of hot human blood. It would be so much easier than having to chase down those damn deer.

It would be okay to accept a ride from a friend. It was only a short drive to my house and maybe Alice was already home waiting for me. I really needed to talk to her. I had to find out how I could get back in Bella's good graces. In the back of my head, I could hear Alice chastising me for getting in the car with Tanya, but I didn't plan on doing anything with her. I wasn't going to touch her in a sexual way. I was just fucking hungry. A quick pull from her wrist and I would be good to go.

"Sure, Tanya, thanks a lot."

I pulled the door open and jumped into the front seat. Of course, I should have known Tanya would fucking attack me the minute I sat down. I'm not sure how she did it, but she vaulted over the center counsel and landed in my lap, straddling me. I'm sure she could feel my rock hard dick pressing against her from my earlier memories of Bella's blood and our afternoon escapades.

I was so fucked.

Tanya started grinding into me. I swear if I closed my eyes I could pretend it was Bella and get the fucking release I needed. I groaned and Tanya squealed.

"Fuck," I moaned.

Tanya's hands were all over me. It was hard to keep my thoughts in order. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I realized I was fantasizing about Bella again. This wasn't right. Well fuck me, that was a first. I shook it out of my head. Damn Bella Swan. She wasn't even here and she was fucking up my sex life again.

"No," I heard myself say.

"Oh Edward," Tanya moaned and licked my neck.

"Tanya, I said no," I repeated gruffly and moved her away from me.

She stopped grinding and opened her eyes. Did I really just say fucking no? Holy hell what was Bella doing to me? I took the opportunity to stare deeply into Tanya's eyes and vamp voodoo her. As I was staring, I quickly lifted her wrist to my mouth, biting down into the artery. Life saving blood poured into my mouth. Fucking Michael Jordan doesn't know what he's missing. This beats Gatorade any day.

I slowly released my fangs and gave her wrist a little lick so the wounds would disappear. I let Tanya's arm drop back into her lap and helped her climb into the driver's seat. She was really in a daze. I wondered if she could even drive?

I decided it would be safer for me to get out of her car and walk the rest of the way home.

"You never saw me," I whispered in her ear, kissed her on the cheek and got out of the car. It was the least I could do. A small thank you for a nice snack.

I watched the car pull away and quickly disappear down the road. At least Tanya was staying in the correct lane.

God dammit, the only good thing about that quick encounter was that I wasn't hungry anymore, but I still had a fucking hard-on. Could your dick fall off from being hard all the time? Maybe I would just fucking die from never getting off anymore.

I was so busy muttering to myself that I didn't notice the audience that had taken up residence across the road.

I glanced up and my mouth fell open. It was a big fucking ugly red truck with a beautiful girl leaning up against the door.

Panic mode set in. How much had she seen? The look in her eyes told the whole story.

"I guess you don't need any help, huh Cullen. I felt a little guilty for almost running over you in the parking lot so I drove back to school to tell you I was sorry. Alice told me you were walking home. I should have known. I should have fucking made you part of the pavement when I had the chance," she snarled at me.

I had no words. What the fuck was I supposed to say to her? I couldn't explain to her that I was grabbing a quick snack from Tanya unless I was going to spill everything. What the hell would she think of me if I told her I was vampire?

"Game over. You win Cullen."

Her voice sounded sad with a little anger mixed in for good measure. Those were the words I had been waiting to hear from her, only I wasn't getting any satisfaction from them. Instead my whole body ached. Maybe it was from all the beatings I had taken the past few days, but I didn't really believe that was it.

I watched as she slowly climbed into her truck. Her shoulders sagged and she looked like I felt, defeated and worn out from the battle. She pulled back onto the road and drove away.

"Holy fuck! Wait."

Did I just scream that shit out loud?

I didn't know what to do? Do I go after her? What was I going to tell her? I don't want to play against you anymore. I want to be on the same team, in the same locker room and on the same playing field.

Fuck this game sucked.

Alice, I needed Alice. She could help me fix this shit.

I took off running. The scenery blurred and it only took me a few minutes to get back to my house. Alice and Jasper were just pulling into the driveway. I was yanking on the driver's door before the car had even stopped.

"Alice, jesusmotherfuckingchrist, you have to help me," I shouted as I dragged her out of my car.

"Jeezus, Edward, settle down, you sound like a fucking girl," Jasper said.

"Shut the fuck up. I'm firing you. You and Emmett only made matters worse," I hissed at him. He waggled his eyebrows at me and laughed in my face.

"Holy shit, baby brother," he paused, punching me in the shoulder and laughing again. "You like her."

He took off into the house, shouting for Emmett. His laughter echoed through the entire woods. I bet everyone in Forks could hear him fucking laughing at me. I growled.

"Okay Edward, what the hell happened after you dragged her into the woods," Alice chirped and then narrowed her eyes at me. "You didn't bite her did you?"

"No I didn't bite her, but maybe I should have," I snapped.

Alice took a step back. "I'm sorry, but you are so worked up and I can smell fresh blood on your breath."

"Yeah, that's part of the fucking problem," I growled and started pacing.

"Edward," Alice shouted. "Stop! I can't think with you running around like an animal."

I stopped and ran my hands through my hair. I fucking wanted to pull it out. What had Bella Swan done to me? She tells me she concedes the game to me and yet I'm the one who is freaking out. I should be fucking celebrating the victory with my team, but really the only person I wanted to party with hated me.

"She fucking hates me Alice," I said as I sank down on the front steps.

"Tell me exactly what went down today or better yet, just open your mind up and let me take the journey myself."

I groaned not sure I wanted Alice to see exactly what a fucked up day I had experienced. I was a big fucking failure today.

"Fine, but if you say one thing to Jasper or anyone else for that matter, I will tear your head off."

She glared at me. She and I both knew I could never hurt her. I sneered back at her, closed my eyes and let her have free reign in my head.

After several uncomfortable minutes, Alice burst out laughing. Could this day get any better? Now my sister was laughing at me, but then her laughter stopped.

"Oh, fuck, Edward, are you kidding me," she said.

"What? Oh, you saw the Tanya part," I whined and hung my head like a five year old who just got caught stealing a cookie right before dinner.

Alice sighed. "I never knew you could be so fucking stupid."

"But I didn't do anything with Tanya."

Again with the whining. How was I ever going to live this down. I needed to go in the house, have a couple beers, watch some football and scratch myself. I needed a full shot of testosterone before I turned into a fucking girl.

"Jeez, Edward, I don't know if I can fix this shit."

"What!" I shouted. "But you said..."

I snapped my mouth shut and stomped into the house. I didn't want to fucking hear anymore of this shit. Alice was supposed to be the pro, the expert on matters concerning the heart. If she couldn't help me, I was screwed. I might as well hand in all my equipment because I obviously didn't know what the fuck I was doing anymore.

How was I supposed to go back to the way I was before I met her? Bella Swan had fucking cast a spell on me and fucked my game up. I didn't even think I could play anymore.

I shook my head and walked into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat down on my bed and stared into empty space. What the hell was I supposed to do? How many times could I repeat the same question? So, I didn't know what to fucking do...just shut the hell up and _do _something, anything.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I guess I really had nothing left to lose. I'd smashed my tennis racket, hung up my skates, put my stick away, broke the backboard, let Bella take my football and now I was going to throw in the fucking towel.

_I know u prolly dont wanna talk 2 me but give me a chance 2 explain plz_

I cradled the phone, hoping it was going to buzz, but it didn't. I felt like smashing it into a million tiny pieces but I guess I knew she wouldn't answer me.

"Fuck," I grumbled. I did a couple laps around my room. I was so wound up I needed to get rid of some of this pent up energy. Maybe I should go out and chase some wildlife around the woods. I wasn't really hungry but the sport might calm me down.

I could ask Emmett to come with me. He was always up for chasing around a bear or mountain lion. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and went in search of Emmett. I could hear some voices coming from his room. I decided to pay Emmett back and just barge right into his room without knocking.

Big fucking mistake on my part.

Again, I was treated to another bare ass. This time Emmett's butt greeted me.

"Get the fuck out of here baby brother," Emmett grunted. Rosalie flipped me off.

Shit, this was the story of my fucking day. I had been reduced to staring at everyone's ass. I slammed his door and charged back to my fucking room.

My phone buzzed. I glanced at it and saw Bella's name pop up. Well fuck, maybe things were getting better. I opened up the phone and was treated to...Holy fucking shit! It was a picture of Bella Swan and she was fucking mooning me and flipping me off.

Bella's bare ass. Now this was an ass worth looking at. I could stare at it for hours. My god it was a beautiful sight. Venom pooled in my mouth again and my traitorous dick strained for a better view. I ran into my bathroom and spit a shit load of venom into the sink.

I looked at the photo again and noticed there was a caption under it.

_Fuck you Cullen! C what u could have had_

I couldn't fucking believe this. What the hell was it with her? She wasn't even going to give me a chance to explain what happened with Tanya.

My phone buzzed again. I didn't know if I could take much more of this shit. I carefully peeked at the screen. It was another picture text. Shit.

Fuck, this time it was a close-up of Bella licking her lips. What the hell kind of game was she playing now? Did this mean she was back in the game?

"Unngghh!"

My fucking dick hurt again.

*~*

Everyone is asking about the score. I've said it a million times, I don't fucking know anything anymore. Bella can have all my points. As far as I'm concerned she was the winner of every round. Plus I've never had so many unfulfilled boners in my entire life. She deserves some sort of special award for doing that to me.

Christ.

I never thought one girl could get me so jacked. Guess I was fucking wrong. As always.

Bella 84 (I swear I've had about 80 hard-ons since I met her) Edward a pathetic 1.5 just because the judges were feeling sympathetic and if nothing else, I did get a quick blow job (with a swallow) out of the whole deal.

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**I know right, poor Edward. What's Bella gonna do to him next? I have started the next chappie so hopefully it won't be too long. Gonna go get all emo over at I Remember You. Check that story out if you need a little angst/hurt/romance blah blah...Before you go let me know what you thought of this chappie. Hit that little review button...please please please...You may need a cold shower after the next chapter...snicker...Seriously though thanks for reading, reviewing, pimping, or lurking! And I'm out...Drizl **


	11. Game Called on Account of Sun?

**Helloooo... back again with another torturous chapter for Edward. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I do...I mean I actually laughed out loud. That's just weird. Anyway as usual I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I'm just having fun with her characters. AND remember this is a rated M fiction for a good effing reason. If you are not into naughty lemons and nasty language...this story it not for you. But for those of you who are ENJOY! **

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****Chapter 11**

**Game called on account of...Sun?**

I dropped my phone on the ground and jumped from my balcony. I had to run. I wanted to focus on something else besides her, so I decided to chase down a fucking mountain lion. I needed something to take my mind and my dick away from Bella Swan.

Those last two picture texts she sent had fucked me up again. I tried to delete the fucking things, but instead I locked them so I wouldn't accidentally throw them away.

It sucked to run with a boner, but hopefully this would make it go away. Now if only I could get the picture of Bella's ass out of my head. I think the image was burned into my brain.

Quit thinking about Bella's ass. I wanted to get rid of my erection not make it worse.

I kept running until I caught the scent of a mountain lion. It took me less than fifteen minutes to track, catch and feed off the animal.

"Now what," I grumbled.

I wondered how far I ran. I wouldn't be surprised if I was in Canada. Maybe I wouldn't go back. I could start somewhere fresh. No more Bella bothering me.

No more Bella? The thought of never seeing her again, never touching her or smelling her made my head hurt. I was feeling strange things for this human. Feelings? Fuck, the only feeling I ever had for a girl was lust, but this was different. Holy shit, I couldn't think about that crap anymore. I definitely wasn't ready to think about my feelings for Bella Swan.

I sat down on the ground and stared up at the star filled night. It had to be about two in the morning and with the amount of stars I could see, the clouds had moved out of the area.

"Fuck, please let there be sun tomorrow. I need a little break. Just one day. I know I said I would have Bella in four days, but I am resigned to the fact that is not going to happen. It may never fucking happen."

It sounded like I was saying a prayer, begging for a higher power to save me or at least give me a little respite from this battle. Who the hell was I praying to? I didn't even believe I had a soul, so who the fuck would be listening to a freaked out, fucked up vampire.

I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to do out here in the woods. At least my dick had gotten over the shock of those pictures. It would be much easier to run back to the house without the hard-on from hell.

It was going to be a long fucking night.

I walked most of the way back to the house, trying to waste as much time as possible and trying to keep Bella out of my head. I spent the rest of the evening with my Ipod blaring in my ears. I couldn't handle the noises coming from the other bedrooms and the music interfered with my thoughts about Bella. Although several songs conjured up images of her which resulted in quite a few jack-off sessions and one down-on-my-knees-spunk-cleaning session and a change-all-the-bed-linens-before-they-turned-crusty session.

Yeah, I did a really good of job keeping her out of my head. Sometimes I wish I could sleep.

Fucking Bella Swan.

I actually rejoiced when I could see the beginnings of a bright sunrise. Amazingly enough my wish was granted. The sun was out in all its full fucking glory and I wouldn't have to go to school. It was the whole dazzling issue again. I wonder if my sparkles would impress Bella? I was just happy the game was going to be called on account of er...sunshine.

Bella would probably be thrilled I wasn't around today or maybe she had some evil plan ready to fucking destroy me once and for all. I actually shuddered when I tried to think of what more she could do to me. Was there anything left? I felt like she had already kicked me to the curb and run over me for good measure.

After yesterday and the Tanya incident, I knew she wanted to plant me in the ground.

"Hey Edward," Jasper said, startling me. I almost fell off my newly made bed.

"Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" I grumbled.

"What the hell do I need to knock for? You used to know when I was coming in and it's not like you have company," Jasper sneered.

"Fuck you, I don't need any shit from you right now."

I wasn't about to tell him my senses were all fucked up. I'm pretty sure he had already figured it out though.

"What's your next move," Jasper asked as he sat down next to me.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So you aren't doing anything?"

"Jasper have you looked outside? The sun is shining and I'm not going to school."

"Exactly," Jasper said.

"Exactly what?"

Why was everyone speaking in code all the time? Did they not understand, I didn't know shit anymore.

"Don't you think Bella should bring you any homework that might be assigned today?"

I was about to tell Jasper to get the fuck out of my room when the light bulb turned on. Jeez, I was slow. It was such a simple idea. It was brilliant!

"Holy shit, Jasper that's fucking brilliant," I shouted and tackled him on my bed.

"Get the fuck off me Edward," Jasper laughed, pushing against my chest. If I wasn't careful he was going to throw me into the wall.

I rolled off him and pulled out my phone to send Bella a text. Jasper grabbed my phone out of my hand before I could push the first button.

"Hey, I need that."

"Do I have to do everything for you? Man, you have turned into an idiot!" Jasper smacked me in the head. " Don't text her directly. She'll probably ignore you, but if you go through the office, she'll have to bring your homework to you."

Holy shit, Jasper might actually be on to something here. Maybe I was too hasty when I fired him.

"I overheard Alice asking Bella to stop by after school with her homework, so I figured we would just call the office and have Bella bring everybody's here."

Jasper gave me my phone back and I dialed the school office.

_Uh, yes, hello, this is Edward Cullen. _

_Oh hi Mrs. Cope._

Jeez did it have to be her?

_I'm fine thank you, except for the headache._

I figured I better add the headache part to explain why I wasn't in school.

_No, I won't be in school today. _

She mumbled something into the phone that sounded a lot like no wonder he has a headache he never gets any relief.....Christ

_What?_

Did I just say what? Please don't repeat what I just heard. I really don't want to hear it. Oh, she's wondering why I called.

_I called because Bella Swan is in several of my classes and she's already bringing my sister's homework by the house, so I was wondering if you could have her bring mine as well?_

Well fuck, now she was asking me if Bella was my girlfriend.

_Girlfriend, um I don't know. It's complicated. _

Jasper was now rolling on the floor fucking snorting his fool head off and making disgusting kissing noises.

_Oh well, yes, I suppose it seems like she is my girlfriend. Yes, we do hang out a lot._

I was waiting for her to ask me if we'd done the fucking deed.

_No ma'am I haven't asked her to the dance yet_

This was not happening. Mrs. Cope was not offering me advice on my love life. Fuck.

_I'll think about it. Yep that's really a good idea. Could you please make sure Bella brings me my homework. _

_Bye. _

I let out a huge breath of air.

Jasper couldn't contain himself anymore. He fucking howled. I wanted to kick him in the nuts so he would shut the hell up.

"Holy fuck, Edward, how do you get yourself into this shit. Mrs. Cope," he said, still laughing.

"What's so funny," Emmett asked as he barged into my room.

"Nothing," I growled.

"Oh come on, Edward! This is funny shit."

"Okay spill, I can always use a good laugh," Emmett said.

"Mrs. Cope was handing out advice to Edward on banging Bella," Jasper said.

"No shit? That's fucking priceless, baby brother. Did she say anything you can use?" Emmett asked.

"No," I shouted, flipping them both off. "Just...you guys can leave now. I need to...GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Christ, I was getting flustered again. Flustered? Since when was that word in my vocabulary?

"Fine, but let us know if anything interesting happens, if you know what I mean," Jasper winked at me.

As usual, I had no fucking idea what he was talking about. I was going to try and relax this morning. Maybe do some light reading, listen to some good music, watch a little TV or maybe I'd go take down another mountain lion and a bear or two.

My phone buzzed with a text message.

Great, it was probably Mrs. Cope with more relationship advice for me.

I looked at the screen. Bella's name glared at me.

My shoulders slumped forward and I sighed loudly. Again with the fucking sighing. I looked at the message.

_Cullen, talked 2 Tanya she said she didn't C U yesterday. Care 2 explain? _

Crap! Let's see, well, Bella, I'm a vampire and I possess a special skill where I can vamp voodoo humans and make them forget, except you. I can't do you. I can't seem to do you anyway I try. What the fuck?

Forget that shit. No, I would not care to fucking explain it, so I took the easy way out.

_Migraine _

She had obviously figured out I wasn't at school today.

_Does everyone in your family have a headache. Big fucking bb. _

My hand gripped the phone. I wanted to hurl it out the window. How did she do that? She could piss me off, get me hard, make me flustered (there's that fucking word again) through text messages. God, once again points were piling up for her.

If I didn't answer her she would give up, right? My phone buzzed again and I groaned out loud. More points down the fucking toilet. Could you end up with negative points? Was there a game with negative points? I think I asked this question already, but no one gave me a fucking answer.

I stared at my phone for another few seconds. It was another picture message. I clenched my jaw and opened my phone.

Holy fuckhawt shit

It was a closeup of Bella's red lips wrapped around a straw. There was beads of moisture on her mouth, making me think she had just ran her tongue across her lips before taking the picture.

I could feel my dick straining against the denim of my jeans again. I was going to start wearing loose fitting jeans or sweatpants. I needed room to expand if she was going to keep sending me shit like this.

A guy could fucking die from this shit and that was exactly what was going to happen to me if I didn't relieve myself. Death by constant hard-on.

So it had come to this again. Me, alone, with my hand wrapped around my rigid dick, wishing it was Bella that I was buried in.

Wait, I'm going to lock my fucking door. I didn't need Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Carlisle, Mrs. Cope or some other random passer-by interrupting my fantasy. I've had enough interruptions to last me a fucking life time.

I clicked the lock, rattling the door just to make damn sure it was locked. I crawled into my bed and propped myself up on the pillows. Thank you Esme for making a wise decorating decision.

I flipped open my phone and took a few long looks at the pictures Bella had sent me, concentrating on the one of her ass until my dick felt like it was going to bust out of my pants.

Let's do this right.

*~*

_Bella pushed me back onto the pile of pillows, whispering in my ear. _

"_I'm going to give you the best mind blowin', earth shattering blow job you've ever experienced." _

I wonder if girls actually said shit like that because it would be really hot and even if they didn't this was my fantasy and in my fantasy Bella was going to say that sentence all breathy and sexy.

_She slid her tongue over my lips, down my neck and nipped at my collarbone. I groaned. She shimmied down my body, planting tiny kisses on each nipple and licking my abs as she moved down to my neglected member. _

_She caught my eye and gave me an evil little grin and then she was between my legs. I thrust my hips upward, trying to fnd the friction I so desperately needed. She undid the button of my jeans and yanked the zipper down, freeing my throbbing dick. Commando was so convenient._

_She exhaled slowly and her sweet breath swept across my dick. Fuck, that felt so fucking great. She licked my thigh and her hair spilled across my torso, tickling my dick. I thrust my hips up again, hoping to feel her wet, hot mouth wrap around me. _

_She granted my unspoken request by gripping my dick in both hands. She stroked me a few times before her cute little pink tongue darted out and licked the tip. I was now the straw. Fuck. I could feel myself starting to leak. My head fell back into the pillows and I'm pretty sure I moaned loudly. I hope that was just inside the fantasy. _

_Bella let go of my dick. I opened my eyes to see what the hell she was doing. I watched as she spit into her hand and re-grasped my rock hard dick. I swear I saw stars floating around the room. Bella spit. Did she watch porno's? She stroked my dick a few times. It felt so good it was almost painful. I moaned again. _

I needed to make sure I wasn't moaning out fucking loud, so I shoved a pillow into my mouth.

_Even though her hand felt great, when she wrapped her lips around my dick and took me into her mouth, I swear I almost exploded at the moment of contact. The feeling intensified when I felt her tongue slide into my slit. _

_Holy shit._

I came all over my hand and stomach. I think I was screaming Bella's name. And there was fucking feathers flying all over the room. Crap, I murdered a pillow.

Someone was banging on the door.

I couldn't move. That orgasm, even though self induced, had almost killed me.

Fucking Bella Swan.

"Edward, what the fuck are you screaming about," Emmett yelled. "Open the goddamn door."

"I'm watching TV," I yelled as my spunk dripped down my side and onto the bed.

Aw fuck.

"Edward, I'm kicking the door in," Emmett yelled again.

"Just a minute," I hissed, rolling out of bed which only made matters worse because more of the feathers were sticking to me. Obviously my spunk was like some sort of super glue.

There was no tissue or washcloth nearby so I tried to wipe my hands on my blanket. This was not working! There were feathers stuck everywhere. I shook my hands trying to get them off but it was no use. I looked like a fucking figure skater. All I needed was sequins, a little glitter and some fucking eye liner.

"Edward, open the fucking door!" Emmett was now shouting.

"God dammit, Emmett!"

I jammed my dick, feathers and all, back into my pants and jumped up to open the door before Emmett broke it down.

"What," I shouted as I ripped the door open.

Emmett's jaw hit the floor when he saw me and then he burst out fucking laughing. "Christ Edward, you were screaming like someone was killing you. What the hell were you doing?"

"It wasn't me," I mumbled, gesturing toward the TV blaring in the corner of my room.

Emmett narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at my crumpled bed linens covered with feathers. I looked at the floor, clearing my throat.

"Get the fuck out, Emmett," I mumbled.

"Right," he said arching an eyebrow and then rolling his eyes. "Fuck she has you by the balls."

I threw a pillow at him and hit him in the head as he left my room.

"That better have been a clean pillow, fuckhead," he shouted. His laughter echoed throughout the house. I heard Jasper join in when Emmett yelled. "He was just jacking off and there were feathers coming out of his pants and stuck to his hands."

I slammed the door so hard a picture fell off my wall. The glass shattered. Great more fucking shit to clean up.

Goddamn Bella Swan.

It took me two hours to clean up the mess I made.

I was finishing changing the sheets and blankets, piling them in the corner of my room. I might as well get all my dirty clothes together and do a fucking load of laundry.

"Edward."

I fucking jumped. "Jesus Christ Alice can't you knock? Can't anyone fucking knock anymore?"

"Jeez, Edward, I'm sorry, but I thought you could use a drink to calm your nerves."

"Vampires do not get nervous," I hissed as I took the glass from her and tossed in down my throat in one quick shot.

She snorted at me and stomped out of the room. I felt like throwing the empty glass at her.

What was her problem? I didn't understand women at all anymore. I did know I seemed to be able to piss them off at a moment's notice. Was that a gift or a fucking curse?

I frowned when I heard the squealing of brakes and and a truck door slam shut. Bella Swan was here. Maybe I should arm myself with a golf club or something. Better yet, I'll just hide in my fucking closet.

*~*~

Points, you're asking me about fucking points. You cannot be serious!? You did just read this chapter didn't you. Do you think I deserve any points? Fuck the points! Take them all. Give them to Mrs. Cope. If she doesn't want them, give them to Emmett, since he got to see my fucking brand new skating costume. Maybe Jazz deserves them. It's his fault that Bella is here right now. Wait, it's Alice's fault. They can split the fucking points. They were probably in on this shit together. They had all night to plot this out and now they're all downstairs having a good laugh at my expense. I can't take this shit anymore, so don't ask me about points again.

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**Oh I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I liked writing it. Now it's time for me to beg...please if you like this story let me know. Leave a review, pimp it out, recommend it to your friends. I've said it before but reviews are like really good sex or whatever turns you on. Writer's really like 'em. Leave some love or if you have questions or just wanna say hello you can do that too. Okay, as Edward would say...Again with the fucking whining? Thanks again for reading the story! Drizl**


	12. STRIIIIKKKKKEEEE THREE

**Hello sports fans! Welcome back to another round of Game on Baby. Yes, I've been writing like a possessed demon this week. A new chappie of I Remember You and now a new chappie for Game on Baby. I'm f*cking exhausted. Here's the usual shizz...Surprise I'm not Stephenie Meyer...We are just borrowing her characters and giving them a new life. I'm not sure Edward likes his new life right now...but too bad. ANNNNDDDDD...this is a rated M piece for several reasons. One because there's nasty language and two because there's lemons...Let's read people.. :)**

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**Striiiikkkkeeee Three**

**Chapter 12**

Jasper was shouting my name. I actually thought about not answering him and really going to hide in my closet, but I would never be able to live that one down. Between my brothers and the whole school knowing that I fucking freaked out because of a girl and hid in a closet, the shit would hit the fan. A guy could only take so much shit and besides, doing something like that would probably make her the automatic winner of the game and I wasn't quite ready to throw in the towel. I know I've talked about quitting several times, but maybe I'm getting my second wind. So we shall plow on. Beisdes, what the fuck was this world coming to when Edward fucking Cullen wanted to hide in a closet because he was scared of a girl. Christ, I needed to get a fucking grip and turn the tables on her. Maybe I could bring her in the closet with me.

The only reason I was going to be in the closet right now was to grab one of Carlisle's golf clubs before I came face to face with Bella. I needed some sort of protection and I was going to make damn sure I had one of those big ass drivers in my hand.

"Jasper, I'm not fucking deaf," I screamed back at him. "I'll be right there."

What the fuck was wrong with everyone? Can't she just leave my fucking homework on the hall table. I am supposed to be sick. Couldn't they tell her I was on my death bed?

I opened the door and almost banged into Bella. Shit I didn't have a weapon. I was doomed.

Jeez, Cullen, for someone who has a headache you sure are fucking loud," Bella snapped.

"Uh, Carlisle provided me with some magic pills and the headache disappeared."

Bella rolled her eyes at me and let her book bag slide down her arm. For a minute I thought she was going to hit me with it, instead she pushed me out of the way and walked into my room. Her scent assaulted me and the overwhelming urge to throw her down and bite her flashed through my head, both fucking heads. I immediately held my breath and tried to think of something horrible so my dick wouldn't get any ideas.

"Oh, sure come on in, make yourself at home," I muttered.

What the hell was she up too? I followed close behind her, but not too close, if you know what I mean.

I watched as she opened her backpack, taking out a few books and some papers which she unceremoniously dumped on my bed. I cringed as a few feathers flew up from the pile of pillows. Some landed in her hair.

Holy fuck!

My dick twitched and I felt pressure building in my pants as I remembered my afternoon love-in session. I jammed my hands in my pockets letting my fingers wrap around my phone as the picture of Bella's ass floated through my mind. Crap, stop thinking about that shit!

She raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't say anything. Her silence was maddening, almost worse than the constant lip she was always giving me. What the fuck was this girl thinking?

God I was going to give myself an aneurysm trying to break into her mind. I wonder if a vampire can suffer brain damage?

She picked a feather out of her hair, pursed her lips and blew on it. I followed the feather all the way to my floor. I was instantly rock fucking hard.

Jesus Christ was this woman a fucking magician. Every single time she was near me, no matter how fucking pissed off I was at her, she could snap her fingers and give me a fucking stiffy.

Christ, now I was uncomfortable and apparently whining again.

"Uh, one of the pillows must have a hole in it." I groaned and moved my phone around in my pocket trying to stealthy adjust myself. I sounded and I probably looked like a complete fucking idiot.

"So here's your fucking homework. I'm outta here," she huffed and turned away from me.

What the fuck? She was just going to leave. Maybe I fucking deserved it. Maybe I should let her go. It would probably be the safest thing for me since my golf club was currently in the downstairs closet.

"Wait, you're just leaving," I spit out.

She sighed really loud before she looked at me. "What do you want from me Cullen?"

I want to fuck you like an animal and then bite you, sucking your blood until I'm sated in every way possible...if you'd let me. Right, that would be a good thing to say to her. She'd probably beat the shit out of me if I talked smack like that to her.

"Um, I was talking to Mrs. Cope today and she mentioned there's a dance tomorrow. I know it's really late, but I was thinking that maybe, if you don't have any plans, um, would you like to go with me? I mean unless someone has already asked you."

Oh my fucking God did I just ask Bella Swan to a fucking lame ass school dance? I'd lost my fucking mind.

"What?" She shouted and stumbled back against my bed.

Bella's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head. Mine felt like they had popped out and were rolling around under my bed somewhere. Where's that fucking golf club? I need someone to beat some fucking sense into me. I'm sure Emmett would be more than happy to help me with my problem.

"Cullen, are you serious or is this you just trying to be funny," Bella asked.

"Jeez, I ask you nicely and you go all paranoid on me."

"Look I don't get you at all," she hissed. "I saw you with Tanya yesterday and then when I ask her about it she totally denies it and you have said absolutely nothing about it."

"Fuck, Tanya's a little off center and nothing happened, which probably pissed her off."

Fuck I was babbling.

"You're not making much sense Cullen," she snarled.

"She just stopped to see if I wanted a ride home. I changed my mind when she...fuck Swan what the hell do you care if I was...Besides you left me hanging in the woods with Mrs. fucking Cope and her nature lovers and what the fuck..." I threw my arms in the air. Maybe I should pull on my figure skating costume. Obviously I was in the mood to express myself with over-exaggerated dramatic body movements . "Just forget it, Swan, if you don't want to go to the dance with me just say so," I snapped.

I was losing my shit and waiting for the hammer to drop on my fucking head. Was I insane? I can't believe I actually asked her to go to a school dance.

"Fine, I'll go with you," she snorted.

What? Did she just yes? Well hell maybe I had a chance to bring my score back up to par. Hey, negative scoring in golf is a fucking good thing. I may have found my game. Bring it on baby.

"Okay then I'll pick you up at seven. And thanks for bringing my homework," I said. "Oh, and just to make something perfectly clear to you, I don't fucking get you either. So I guess that makes us even."

I thought she would take this opportunity to leave, instead she sat down on my bed. What the fuck was she doing now?

I moved back to the far wall. I had turned into a major pussy.

"Jeez, Cullen, I did shower today."

I was saved from answering her when Alice came bouncing into the room. "Did I just hear Edward ask you to the dance?"

Bella nodded and Alice grinned at me.

"So you should just ask your dad if you can spend the whole weekend over here."

Oh fuck, I forgot about that damn sleep over and now Alice was trying to get her to stay for the whole fucking weekend. I was going to be hard for the three days straight. Is that possible? How many times was I going to have to jerk off?

I glared at Alice. I sent her every hateful thing I could think of and she just sat on my bed smiling at Bella. I was a fucking dead man. Alice was pounding the stake into me. I wanted to grab her and shake her and ask her why she was doing this to me. I wasn't going to survive the weekend.

I sat down and stared at the two of them. Bella was now on her stomach spread out across my bed and Alice was sitting next to her, playing with her hair and they were starting to discuss clothes.

"Am I bothering you two?"

They both looked up at me and scowled.

"Do you want us to leave Edward," Alice asked.

"Well, I could give a shit about what color dress you're wearing on Friday, so yeah, get the hell out of my room."

"C'mon Bella. You can look in my closet," Alice said.

They both giggled.

Fuck this shit. I went into my bathroom and slammed the door. I'd give them a few minutes and then I'd come back out. I was still stunned I'd asked Bella to the fucking dance tomorrow. I think I had a concussion from playing hockey. Maybe I could use that to get out of going to that dance. I mean I'd like alone time with Bella, but taking her to a school dance? Christ.

I didn't hear anything anymore so I assumed they had left my room. Thank fucking God. Now my only problem was Bella's scent. It was all over my bed. Being the moron that I am, I dove into the bed taking in huge breaths of air as I tasted her. My dick obviously liked the smell too.

I better get used to it because the whole weekend was going to be like this. I was going to be frustrated because shit would go wrong and I wouldn't get off. I told myself to ignore the throbbing in my groin. I flipped on some music and tortured myself some more by rolling around on my bed. I looked like a goddamn dog spinning around, making a little nest before they laid down for a nice nap.

I lay there staring up at my ceiling listening to everyone in the house. I could hear laughter. They were all hanging out together and Jasper was telling stupid jokes. Emmett was egging him on which led to a lot of squealing from Alice and Bella. Rosalie would shout a few fuck you's at Jasper which made everyone laugh harder. As much as I wanted to join them, part of me needed this time to regroup.

My alone time did not last very long. I heard thunder rumbling. I crawled out of bed and looked across the sky. Huge dark thunder heads were rolling into town. More thunder boomed and some lightning cracked across the sky. I could hear Emmett bounding up the stairs.

Two seconds later my bedroom door slammed opened in time with another blast of thunder. The lights flickered.

"You up for it," Emmett boomed, sounding a lot like the thunder outside.

"Hell yes," I shouted back and leaped out of bed. "Let me change. I'll be down in a minute."

"Flip me one of your baseball hats," he said.

"Wear your own!"

"It's not for me, it's for Bella."

"Have you guys all lost your fucking minds!" I hissed.

Emmett just shrugged his shoulders.

"Do you think Bella is ready for this?" I asked. What the hell were they all thinking?

"You've got your hands full with this one. I think she knows way more than you give her credit for."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

Emmett rolled his eyes as I tossed him an extra baseball cap."

"You have three minutes to get ready or we're leaving without you."

I was actually a little excited and fucking nervous because we were bringing a human to our game. This was fucking crazy, but we hadn't played baseball for weeks and I needed the release. Alice could take care of Bella. She owed me that much for submitting me to an entire weekend of Bella Swan in this house.

They were all waiting in the jeep when I came crashing out the front door. I tossed the bats, balls and some gloves into the back and jumped in. Of course Alice made sure I sat next to Bella. Fuck I should have grabbed my golf club while I was in the closet. I suppose a baseball bat would have to do.

I put my arm over the seat, touching the wood of a bat. It made me feel safe for the moment.

She seemed to be sitting really close to me and I swear the heat from her skin was burning a hole in my baseball jersey. I cleared my throat and stared up at the ever darkening sky. It thundered again. I could feel Bella jump and move a little closer to me. I turned my head and my nose was instantly buried in her hair. Sweet mother of God, she smelled good. Quit fucking breathing. This is all probably part of some evil plan she was cooking up. What did it matter, I was still hard from our earlier encounter.

My phone buzzed. I reached in my pocket to get it. God my fucking dick hurt.

I stared at the screen...it was from Alice...what the fuck?

_Having problems brother? _

Problems? I looked over Bella's head at her. She grinned and looked down at my dick which had pitched his own little tent. Oh for chrissakes! I crossed my leg and groaned.

"You okay?" Alice snorted.

"I'm fine. Thank you very much," I said sharply.

She laughed again. I wanted to smack her over the head with the bat I was currently gripping.

We finally got to the field and everyone piled out of the jeep. Jasper and Emmett immediately began showing off, so being a guy, I ran out and joined them, racing around the field after pop flies Jasper was hitting at me. I could feel Bella's eyes on me the entire time.

Finally Alice let out a shrill whistle and we all gathered around home plate.

"It's gonna be girls against boys," Rosalie shouted. "And we are batting first."

Jasper and Emmett were already strutting around talking smack to Alice and Rose. These guys just didn't get it. They had something planned, I could feel it. We were sooo fucking doomed.

"Fine,"I snorted. "Bring it on." I grabbed a glove, patted Bella on the ass (she let out a really loud gasp) and took my position at shortstop. Jasper was pitching and Emmett raced to the outfield.

Rosalie was ready for the first pitch. Bella was whispering something to Alice. This couldn't be good. She was up to something. I was going to have to be prepared. Okay, now I sounded like a fucking boy scout.

I should have known. Just as Jasper let the first pitch go, Bella hoisted her shirt up and flashed me her tits. I started drooling, wanting to run and grab a handful. I forgot what hell I was doing and before I knew it, Rose made contact with the ball and the ball made contact with my fucking forehead. I dropped to the ground like a fucking rock. Emmett was fucking laughing and Jasper didn't know what to think. A flash of Bella's tits went through my mind. Ahhh, he was looking too.

Bella screamed and rushed to my side. "Oh my God, Cullen, are you okay?"

I moaned and rolled around in the dirt, cluthing my head. Alice's voice floated through my mind. "_A little thick Edward."_

_"Fuck you Alice," _I said in my head and then shut her out.

"Cullen, let me see," Bella said, grasping my hand and trying to move it away from my head.

"No don't touch me, it fucking hurts. I probably have a concussion or brain damage." I moaned again and rolled over on my stomach.

"Cullen, you have to let me look at it. If you have a concussion we should take you to see the doctor. I already know you're brain damaged, so that's a pre-existing condition and probably already in your medical records."

"Ha fucking ha Swan!"

"C'mon Cullen, move your hand so I can at least see if you're bleeding," she pleaded.

Aw, Swan, that's sweet, you do care about me. How about a little mouth to mouth," I said waggling my eyebrows at her. I added another whimper, trying to get her to feel sorry for me.

I rolled over to my back and stared up at her, keeping my hand over the now nonexistent wound. She bit her bottom lip and reached out, dragging her fingers across my lips. Her touch was feather light but man, I felt it all the way down to my dick.

Holy fuck, I didn't dare move. She leaned in, gently ghosting her lips across mine. I couldn't take much more of this teasing, but then she crashed down on me, shoving her tongue in my mouth so fast I almost fucking came in my boxers. Her hands were in my hair, pulling me harder against her. I felt her legs tangle with mine. I was starting to pant.

I forgot about the head wound. My hands wound into her hair and I kissed her back, rolling over on top of her. I pressed myself into her center and was rewarded with a small whimper from her lips. And then I heard the audience fucking giggling, snorting and offering up some golf clapping. Couldn't someone hold up a sign pleading for quiet. I was having a moment here, goddammit!

Bella pushed away from me. I immediately felt her eyes on my forehead. Aw shit!

"What the fuck Cullen," she shouted, touching the spot where the ball had hit. "I saw you get nailed with that ball, but there's not any sort of mark on your head."

"Are you sure," I asked slapping my hand of my forehead again.

"I'm not fucking blind and I'm not a fucking idiot!" She pushed me off and scrambled to her feet. "You're incredibly fast, your skin is ice fucking cold all the time, you're as pasty as a fucking ghost and now this...What the fuck are you Edward?"

*~*

JesusFuckingHell, could we hit rewind and go back to the beginning of this fucking day. What the fuck am I supposed to tell her? This game has gotten way out of control. I'm out of my league here and I could really use some fucking suggestions. Should I tell her the truth? Just blurt it out...hey, man, I'm a vampire...cool huh...or not...Should I make something up? But what? C'mon people don't leave me hanging here. I'm asking for a little audience participation. Get off your asses and tell me what to do.

This fucking game sucks! Please don't tell me I just struck out either. I haven't even had a chance to fucking bat!

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**O.o.O how's Edward going to answer her question? Will she still go to the dance with him...Will poor Edward ever get any relief...Tune in (hopefully) next week for the latest chapter of Game on Baby. Okay, let me have...I know some of you are gonna be pissed they haven't got it on yet, and I'm sorry. I promise it will be worth the wait when Edward finally gets it right and gets the relief he so desperately needs. Please send me your thoughts, reviews and whatevers! To my girls at RAoR thanks for reading and all the pimping you guys have been doing. I lurve you all! And lurkers come out and play...I'd love to hear from you...Catch ya back here on the ball diamond in about a week...Drizl**


	13. Batter Up, Baby

**Yes, I admit this chapter was a bitch to write. Damn trying to be funny is hard work. So, step up to the plate and read on. And as if you didn't know, I'm not S. Meyer. Too bad becuz I would have definitely had more fun with Edward. I guess that's why I'm playing this game. Of course we all know this is rated M for obvious reasons, nasty language and naughty lemons top the list. I mean isn't that why we read fanfic. Catch you at the end of the chapter. I hope you enjoy. **

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**Batter Up, Baby! **

**Chapter 13**

"What the fuck are you," Bella shouted in my face.

FuckFuckFuck!

I swear the minute it came out her mouth the whole forest went silent, including the entire golf gallery.

Dammit I wasn't prepared for this. I didn't know how to avoid the question much less answer the motherfucking holy grail of all questions?

I scrambled to my feet only to see my fucking brothers and sisters getting into the jeep and making a quick getaway. They were baling on me.

Unbelivable. Goddamn cowards.

Jeez, I could have used some back up here. And to make matters worse, they took my bat away. Now I was alone without any protection again.

Bella stood up, folded her arms across her chest and glared at me.

It was a stand still. She was giving me the evil hairy eyeball and I was staring right back at her. If only I could break into that mind of hers. We could end this so fast if I knew what the fuck she wanted me to do.

"Well, Cullen?" Bella growled.

"Well what?"

"What the fuck are you?"

"You're seriously asking me what the fuck I am. What the hell is that supposed to mean? What am I? What the hell do you think I am?"

She didn't answer me so I continued on with my fevered rant. Maybe she would believe the ball really did do some damage to my brain or I could always fall back on the migraine thing. I could tell her it came back with a vengeance and I couldn't think clearly.

"What a fucking stupid question. I don't even know what it means. What the fuck am I?" I snorted. And then my fucking brain woke up and told me to turn it on her. Since I had nothing else besides telling her the truth I went with it.

"What the hell are you Swan? Ever since you came to this town, you've been dogging me, fucking with my head and then when we get close you run like a fucking freaked out rabbit. I'm sick of this fucking game we've been playing," I huffed.

Well, that was a pretty good freak-out, even though I exaggerated about her running away from me. We seemed to be pretty even in the running away category. Actually, had she ever run away from me or had she just teased me mercilessly until I couldn't take it anymore. I was over-analyzing things again. I wonder what her come-back will be.

"Don't turn this on me Cullen, we are talking about you right now And just for the record, I never ran away from you. You just seem to fuck things up all the time." She bit down on each word and glared at me. "Jackass!"

Fuck she's really good at this. I wonder if they teach this shit somewhere, but I wasn't ready to give up yet. I wanted to know her theories.

"Fine, I concede the fact that you have never literally ran away from me. You are just incredibly good at never finishing what you started."

She narrowed her eyes at me, like she was sizing me up. She huffed and wiped a few raindrops off her cheek.

"What do you think I am," I asked. I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear her answer, but we were getting nowhere and the rain was getting a little heavier.

This seemed to soften her stance a little bit. She took a deep breath, slowly exhaling all the air from her lungs. I took the opportunity to sneak a hit of her scent. In a strange way, it calmed me.

"Well I've heard some really weird stuff about you and I've seen you do some pretty strange things. At first I thought you were just a fucking nut case, but well, I think there's more. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I still think you're fucking weird."

All my muscles balled into one giant knot.

"Er, what do you mean by more?"

"I mean underneath all your cocky bullshit and your pretty face. I just don't think you've let anyone see the real you." For some odd reason her face burned right red and she stared at the ground, kicking some dirt with her shoe.

Were we still talking about the same thing or had she switched to something else? The real me would scare the shit out of most people. Fuck, what did she know? Did she really know what I was and if the answer was yes, how did she guess. This was so fucking frustrating. How was I going to pry this information out of her?

"Let me hear your theories," I said, folding my arms across my chest. I could be as pig-headed as she could. I wasn't going to let this go.

"No, I really don't think you want to hear my theory."

"You already think I'm a nut case," I grinned at her. "A nut case with a pretty face, but still it would only seem fair for you to tell me what you're thinking."

Her face reddened more. "Fine, but let's get one thing clear though, I'm not afraid of you."

"Oh really Swan," I said all cocky. I took two steps forward and let my hands drop to my sides. I was definitely in her personal space, but she held her ground and I held my breath. "Are you sure you don't want to run away."

She bit her lip, but didn't flinch.

"We discussed the running away shit already," she said. "I know you're trying to be funny Cullen, but really I'll give you a head start, because I'm sure you'll be limping away from me shortly."

She closed the remaining gap between us so her boobs were pressed up against my chest. I clamped my mouth shut and quit breathing. Fuck right now I didn't dare do much of anything.

Dammit she was doing it again. I was going to be left standing out in the rain with a goddamn hard-on. How could one little fragile human make my dick hurt so much?

Fuck this! Fuck everything!

I didn't want to hear what she thought I was. If she was scared of me or totally freaked out she would have disappeared. Yet here she stood, right in front of me. Put down the fucking golf club, it's time to take your position on the fucking baseball field and give it your best shot.

I had nothing to loose. Everything I tried so far had backfired, gone wrong or I was cockblocked by someone or something beyond my control. But now she was on my field and there was no one around to run interference.

"You know what Swan, I don't give a shit want you think I am," I hissed. I brushed my hand over her cheek, wiping a few raindrops from her face.

I stared into her eyes, gently placing my hand under her chin. She didn't move. I guess I was up to bat so I jumped into the batter's box with my ever burgeoning wood and faced her down. I felt a few more rain drops hit my arms, but it still wasn't enough to detour my actions.

Her breathing was increasing so I decided it was time to make my next move. I tilted her head to give me better access to her mouth. My fingers slid into her hair and I purposely knocked the baseball cap off her head. Her hair spilled down her shoulders. I buried my face in it, taking short breaths. Could she be anymore delicious? My fucking God she was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of.

I felt her hands skimming around the edge of my baseball jersey. A loud clap of thunder filled the air and Bella jumped a little causing her hand to graze my fucking dick. I groaned and grabbed her tighter. She tipped her head to the side and looked at me through heavy lidded eyes.

Fuck she looked so fucking sexy that I was having a hard time staying on task.

I skimmed my lips against hers, touching just enough to draw a sigh from her. She closed her eyes, pulling me back to her mouth. Her glistening lips parted allowing my tongue access to her hot sweet mouth. I spent several minutes exploring her with my tongue. I allowed myself another small breath to taste her sweet scent.

I had to pace myself before I started panting like a dog. I didn't want her to think I was a rookie again. She stepped into me, pressing her center against my thigh. I swear I could feel wetness against my leg. I know I could smell her arousal.

I had to remind myself we were playing a game and my main objective was to reach first base. I think I had achieved that so I figured I should go for second, but the kissing was so good.

Man, I was turning into some kind of pussy, but I couldn't get my lips away from hers. She really did taste that damn good.

More thunder boomed and lightning lit up the sky. It felt like the fucking lightning struck us. Something strange was sizzling through my body. I'm sure she felt it too, because she suddenly released her grip on my waist and stepped back from me. Our eyes met and more strange sensations pulsed through my body. I'd never felt so fucking vulnerable in my entire life. What was she doing to me?

All I knew was right now I couldn't be apart from her. I grabbed her and roughly pulled her back so I could feel every line of her body pressed up against mine. She closed her eyes and moaned into my mouth when our lips met again. A few more sprinkles dampened my shirt. I chose to ignore them again. This was definitely not the time to worry about the fucking weather.

By now I was pretty sure I was firmly on first base, so I decided to lead off and make my move for second. Strange thoughts about our location went through my head. What the hell was I worried about? Did it matter where we were going to do it? It had never cross my mind before and I'd had encounters in far stranger places. Usually the only thing that mattered was if I was satisfied in the end. So why now?

Bella didn't seem to be concerned that we were standing in the middle of a makeshift baseball field with ever increasing raindrops falling around us. She was still kissing me and her hands were roaming freely over my chest. She wasn't thrown by our location so why was I so fucking worried about where we were. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I felt her give my dick a quick squeeze which I swear was knocking on the buttons of my jeans to be set free. What fucking base was she on? Her touch almost made me whimper. Who the hell whimpers in baseball.

"Cullen," she whispered.

I almost jizzed on the spot.

"Hmmm," I hummed against her lips.

Another loud crack of thunder and quick flash of electricity filled the air around us. She shuddered and pushed against me. She almost made me stumble. Dammit, she was really good at throwing me curve balls and making me look like an idiot.

She started fumbling with the buttons on my jersey, tugging on them. I stilled her hands and she growled at me. Fuck that was hot. I let her unbutton the shirt. She ran her hands over my bare chest. I watched as she moved her hand, to her lips and placed a finger into her mouth. She met my stare and eye fucked me into oblivion as she sucked on her finger, swirling it around in her mouth, coating it with spit. She took that wet little finger and touched my nipple, pursed her lips and softly blew air across my chest.

Holy fucking shit. I swear to fucking God I felt my balls tighten and my dick throb when she did that. My fucking knees felt weak. I think she beat me to second base. Christ. I thought she was pitching. Why was I fucking complaining? Do it again baby.

Holy hell, this chick was going to kill me with foreplay.

She was lowering me to the ground. Her hands were on the buttons of my jeans.

And then every bad thing that had happened to me over the past few days with her came floating into my head. I opened one eye and peeked at her. She looked totally blissed out. I on the other hand was turning into a nervous wreck.

Fuck.

I tried to relax into her kiss. I made the leap to second base and ran my hands over her boobs. She let out a gasp of air. I made the mistake of inhaling at the same moment. Her scent filled every bit of my lungs. My brain clouded and all I wanted was to fucking bite her and taste that sweet blood again. I let my hands run over her tits again, stopping to tease her nipples. I could feel them tighten under my touch. I was gonna go for second base and knock her out of my way. I snuck my hand under her shirt, pushing her bra up and grabbed a handful. She buried her face in my neck and moaned. I felt her tongue sneak out and taste me.

I hissed and tried to concentrate on her soft luscious boobs.

When I touched her nipples again, she threw her head back and grabbed my dick.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

A loud clap of thunder drowned out my screams. And then I made the mistake of opening my eyes to the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

Was she fucking kidding me? What the hell was she thinking exposing her throat and pounding pulse to me. I was only so strong. After all, she had allowed me a small taste in biology lab. I leaned in and licked her neck. Her blood was singing to me, her hand was now on my dick and my brain had ceased to function.

Just one little nip. I could feel the venom sliding down my teeth and with it all my will power drained away. I leaned in, pressing my nose into her skin. Everything was fuzzy. All I could smell was her and her blood was fucking screaming at me.

"Cullen!"

Her voice snapped me out of my trance.

"Did you just try to bite me?"

"Er, no...well fuck. Fine okay, yes," I stuttered. " I'm sorry."

I was a little horrified with myself. Christ. Why did she have to be the only person in the world I couldn't vamp voodoo. If she hadn't known for sure, I suppose I just made it crystal clear to her exactly what I was. I was going to have to fess up and tell her the fucking truth. What else could I fucking do?

"So, I guess the rumors are true then," she said.

"Rumors? What fucking rumors?" Did other people know about me and my family?

My hands were balled into fists as I steeled myself, waiting for the word I was pretty sure was going to come out of her mouth. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and not look at her, but she wouldn't let me look away. I think she was vamping me.

Her silence was torturous. Here it comes. She's gonna say the word and then run away. I just know it. Fuck!

"Well, everyone ya know, oh, whatever, Cullen," she stumbled over several more words. "Fuck, I can't believe you actually think you're a goddamn vampire. I mean..." she paused and shook her head.

Did my fucking hearing malfunction? Did she just tell me that everyone thinks I'm one of those humans who pretends to be a vampire.

She fucking thinks I'm pretending to be a vampire?!

I didn't know what to say or what to do. Part of me wanted to bite the shit out of her and then fuck her senseless.

"Cullen, it's okay, really. I get it. It's like a fantasy right? I get the whole fake biting and dressing up thing."

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

"I'd let you wear a cape, ya know, if you wanted..."

Jesus fucking Christ, could this get any worse?

The minute the fucking words ran through my head, the sky opened up and the rain dumped down on us. Next Alice's laughter echoed through my head. Just what I needed.

Fucking stake me before I kill her and everyone else.

*~*

Okay don't ask me about points because this fucking sucks and I really don't know what the fuck I'm going to do to set the record straight. Bella actually thinks I'm pretending to be a vampire. Jesus Christ.

Quit fucking laughing! What the hell would you do?

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**Got Ya didn't I...Admit it! BAHAHAHA...poor fucking Edward. Er, maybe you didn't think it was funny...let me know...see that little button hit it and review...please...pretty please with Edward on top (or bottom whichever you prefer) Next chapter is the school dance...Thanks for sticking with this story. I'm having a ball writing it (well, okay, not all the time...because sometimes the funny goes away and then it just pisses me off) Until next time...Drizl**


	14. This has to be a Delay of Game

**Holy Shizz, it's been a fucked up freaky week and I can't believe I finished this chapter. I was hoping we would make it to the dance, but Edward pulled some weird shizz so it looks like the next chapter will be the dance. Yeah and just in case you forgot...Twilight doesn't belong to me. However in this story, Edward is mine to torture. AND, I write using nasty language cuz if anyone called me a fake vampire I'd fucking lose my shit too. Along with the bad language there's some smoking lemons, well, a few teasers this chapter. **

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**This has to be a Delay of Game**

**Chapter 14**

What the fuck. I was standing in the middle of a baseball field with buckets of rain pouring over my head.

Bella squealed and tried to get me to move, but I had turned into an immovable statue.

Maybe I was in shock.

I was still stuck on Bella's comment. Everyone at school believed I was a wanna-be vampire. I could give a shit about the fuckers at school, but Bella believed it too. She even said she would let me wear a cape. I mean, I guess that would be okay but, holy hell, a fake fucking vampire.

What kind of game was she playing now?

Off in the distance I heard a horn honking and then the sound of Alice yelling. I looked up to see Bella jumping into the Jeep. Well, that was fucking really nice of Alice to come pick us up after they fucking deserted me to face this shit alone. Alice waved at me. I chose to flip her off. I didn't give a shit about the rain, I needed to once again, regroup and figure out what the hell I was going to do with this new information.

"_Edward, we're waiting." _Alice's voice sounded like she was chewing on her cheek. I'm sure she wanted to laugh in my face.

"_I'll be home later," _I grumbled.

"Cullen," Bella screeched. "Get your ass over here before you catch pneumonia."

I rolled my eyes, thinking what it would be like for the fake vampire to contract pneumonia, but I quickly decided it wasn't worth my time to argue with Alice and Bella. I trudged through the mud over to the Jeep and crawled in the backseat. Alice tossed a few towels in my face, smiling sweetly at me. I glared at her. She stifled a laugh and stomped on the gas pedal, spraying mud everywhere.

"Where to Bella," Alice asked.

"You might as well take me home. I need to get out of these wet clothes." I caught her peeking at me in the mirror. "The girls are freezing."

The girls? I looked up and got an eyeful in the mirror of Bella massaging her boobs. What the fuck. I wasn't up for this shit. I groaned, sank down into my seat, grumbling about boobs and my fucking aching cock, blocking out everything Bella and Alice were talking about. All I wanted right now was to go home and rub one out.

Fucking Bella Swan.

We pulled up to Bella's house. For some odd reason they were both glaring at me and Bella was not getting out of the Jeep.

"What?" I hissed.

"The least you could do is walk Bella to her door," Alice said.

"It's fucking raining out!" I whined. They both continued to give me the evil eye. "Fine."

I got out of the car and splashed around to Bella's door. "Would you fucking like me to carry you?"

"What is your fucking problem," she growled at me.

"Nothing." I held out my hand and she grasped it, stumbling a little as she climbed out of the car. She leaned into me for support and I half carried her to the front door. She pulled her key out of of her pocket, carefully sliding it into the lock. I heard it click and she pushed the door open.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school," she said softly.

"Uh yeah, sure," I muttered, stuffing my hands into my pocket.

"Cullen, it's okay."

What the fuck was she talking about? Nothing was okay. She gave me a crooked smile, quickly leaning into me. She tentatively reached out to move a lock of my hair away from my eyes. She let her fingers ghost over my cheek.

Jesus, that felt good. I think I just moaned.

She pressed her body into mine and even though we were both soaking wet, she felt hot against me, fucking forest fire hot. I could feel her fucking nipples pressing into my chest. Her hand slid down my abdomen until her fingers brushed against my dick.

I seemed to be hard. Imagine that.

I hissed when she made contact. She leaned in until I felt her hot breath roll over my throat. I shuddered. Damn, now she's making me shudder by breathing on me. She opened her mouth running her tongue over my collarbone, nipping at my skin. A growl escaped my lips and I roughly grabbed her head, crashing my lips against hers.

Her hand remained on my fucking crotch. I swear my eyes were rolling into the back of my head and the heat from her hand was burning a hole in my jeans. I pushed my hips into her hand and she treated me with a small squeeze.

"Oh Cullen," she moaned into my mouth.

"Fuck," I hissed and then I realized where we were.

Was I fucking insane? She was doing to it to me again, because obviously we weren't going to have sex at her front door. I stepped back and almost fell down the fucking steps. She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. I swear she was stifling a laugh. I swear everyone was laughing at me.

"Uh, I gotta go. Alice is waiting." I turned and limped back to the Jeep.

"God damn." I was whining again, because as usual she had left me with a huge fucking problem and I was going to have to listen to Alice all the way home.

I climbed back in the Jeep and growled at Alice, hoping she took the clue to keep her fucking mouth shut. It didn't work. Apparently, I _was_ a fake vampire. I scared no one anymore. Fuck.

"Edward, what the hell is going on?"

"Why are you asking me?" I snapped.

"You were putting on quite a show on the steps. I didn't think you were into her. I thought this was a game to you?"

"It was, I mean it is, fuck I don't know what it is anymore and I don't have to talk to you. You made your choice when you joined her team."

"I didn't join anyone's team, Edward. I just agree with you needing to be taught a lesson. Man should use his brain more, not just his dick."

"What the fuck does that mean," I grumbled.

"Edward, you've let your dick totally run your life. I can't take the mindless fucking anymore."

"Jeez, Alice, what the fuck difference does it make to you how I live my life?"

"Oh come on Edward. You deserve so much more. Under all your bullshit, you really are a sweet guy."

"Gee, thanks Alice."

I sighed and eyed Alice. I'd given up on deserving anything more. Maybe I could admit it would be nice if there was someone who knew the real me, but no one wanted that and really, I wasn't that impressive. I sat brooding for a few minutes before Alice started in again.

"You do know it wasn't Bella who started the fake vampire rumor don't you?"

"I don't fucking care and anyway, how the hell would I know,"I muttered.

Fucking Forks high chicks and all their gossip. I didn't keep track of any of that crap.

"Jessica. This whole thing has been all Jessica's idea."

"Ya know Alice, I don't give a crap who started what," I grimaced when we hit a bump. My fucking dick was still aching.

"You need to fix this shit, Edward," she sniped at me.

"Ya think so?" I was sick of this conversation and everyone telling me what I needed to do. What I needed was to make love to Bella. Make love? Where the hell had that come from? I didn't make love. I fucked. I fucked. I _just_ fucked. Nothing else!

I caught Alice staring at me. I didn't realize I was tugging on my hair hard enough to pull it out of my head. My other hand was balled into a fist and I swear I could have punched a hole in a concrete wall if the opportunity arose.

"Stop the fucking car," I shouted.

"We're almost home," Alice snapped.

"I need to hunt, goddammit!"

The look on my face must have freaked Alice out. She slammed on the brakes and I jumped out of the car, disappearing into the woods before she could say anything else. I made damn sure my mind was locked up tight. I didn't need her foraging around in there looking for something else to use against me.

If she even had an inkling the word love floated through my head, she'd never let me live it down.

I couldn't be in love with Bella Swan. Could I? No, I didn't even like her. All she did was give me blue balls. But kissing her, touching her...Fuck.

I stopped dead in my tracks, letting the rain pour down over me. Love? What the fuck did I know about love. It had to be lust. Right? Christ, maybe I should give Mrs. Cope a call and ask her advice. After all, she had missed the show this afternoon. I was getting used to showing my dick off to Mrs. Cope.

Good God I was losing my fucking mind. Maybe this is the outcome Bella had been looking for all along. Torment me to death until I'm reduced to a fucking quivering pile of mush, except for my ever throbbing hard on.

God damn Bella Swan.

Shit, I could still feel her pressed up against my chest and her hand giving my dick a little attention. I groaned out loud, pushing the thoughts of her out of my head. I needed to feed. I needed to concentrate on the hunt. I needed to get rid of this fucking hard on.

I filled my brain with images that would disturb anyone. Emmett in a bikini, the noises Jasper made when...fuck, now I really was giving myself a migraine. I smacked myself on the forehead, willing my brain to shut the fuck off. Forget about this shit and hunt.

It took me about thirty minutes to chase down dinner and ten more minutes to figure out I was standing in the fucking rain outside of Bella's house. Jesus Christ how did I get here? This was just plain crazy.

I looked up at her window. I could barely make out the outline of her body.

I needed to get the fuck out of here before I did something stupid like climb up that big ass tree to get a better look.

Get a look at what? I was starting to worry. I was turning into fake vampire stalker dude. I saw her again and before I could stop myself, I'd easily scrambled up the tree, sitting my ass down on a branch. There was a small opening in Bella's curtain letting me catch small glimpses of her as she paced around her bedroom. What the fuck was she doing? For a few minutes, she circled her room, looking like she was stalking her prey.

Guess I would know what a stalker looked like since I'd taken up residence in her fucking tree. God I was pathetic. All I needed was her dad to find me up here and blast me out of the tree with a shot gun. I needed to get the fuck out of here and go home. Tomorrow would be here before I knew it and I had to make it through school, knowing that everyone thought I was pseudo-Dracula. And then I had to show up at a school dance with a girl who was slowly killing me, by teasing me. Maybe my fucking dick would just fall off.

I was about to jump out of the tree when movement from Bella's window caught my eye again. She was standing in the window, staring into the darkened sky. I was pretty sure she couldn't see me. It was still raining and dark as fuck, so I felt pretty safe.

Sorta.

As safe as someone could feel sitting in the tree, leering at the chief of police's daughter. My fucking God this was as bad, no it was worse than the fake vampire thing.

I groaned when she stepped away from the window, but the curtains were now almost wide open. I greedily watched as Bella picked up her Ipod, shoving in the ear buds. It looked like she was scrolling through her music selection when suddenly her hips started gently swaying. I was mesmerized by her movements. The girl who had almost fallen out the car today was moving around the room like a fucking graceful ballet dancer. Naturally, my fucking dick wanted to watch her lithe body move around the room.

She discarded the shirt she was wearing, leaving her in just a small tank top. I could see the outline of her tits and she definitely wasn't wearing a bra. The strap of her top slipped halfway down her arm, exposing almost her entire boob. I almost fell out of the tree. God she looked delicious.

I wanted to hear the music she was listening to. Anything that could inspire Bella to move like that had to be sultry hot. She bent her leg and did a small spin. She stopped, reached back with her hand, grabbing her foot and pulling her leg up. She held the position for a few seconds and then dropped her arm and straightened her leg out into a perfect arabesque.

Arabesque? Where in the hell did that word come from. Trouble was I knew that was the correct word. Christ. No wonder I sucked at all the other games we had played. I was totally into ballet.

Fuck she was flexible. My mind switched to all the wonderful possibilities that flexibility would offer in the bedroom, if I fucking lived that long. I couldn't take much more of this. I needed to get the hell out of here before I decided to jump through her window and fuck her senseless for teasing the snot right out of me.

God damn Bella Swan.

She decided to end the dancing torture and get ready for bed which meant she pulled off the black pants she had been wearing. She was now standing in the middle of her bedroom in these tiny black panties that went halfway up her ass. I could feel my dick start to weep as it pressed against the buttons of my jeans straining to find more room. Holy hell, I was going to die in a fucking tree. There was no way I was going to be able to jump down without breaking something, like my dick. It was so fucking rigid I was pretty sure if someone bumped it, it would snap the fuck right off.

Maybe I could just rub one out here. Who would fucking see me? The neighbors windows were all dark and besides I was up in a fucking tree. No one would expect to see anyone jacking off in a tree.

I made the fucking mistake of looking into Bella's window again just in time to see her fling that little top to the floor. Holy fucking shit! My fucking God I wasn't going to need to rub anything, I was just going to jizz in my pants from the overwhelming beauty of the current view. Her head fell back and she ran her hands through her long curls. Fuck I wanted to do that. She turned her back to me and bent over to pick up something off the floor, giving me an eyeful of her gorgeous ass.

I needed to get the hell out of this tree before I did something so stupid I'd never be able to show my face around Bella again. I was just going to gently lower myself to the ground and get the fuck out of here. I lifted my leg to start the decent down when Bella faced the window again and arched her back. I was exposed to full frontal nudity. Needless to say, I fucking lost my balance.

"Unf, motherfucker," I hissed as I landed flat on my fucking back on the wet hard ground. I saw fucking stars sparkle in front of my face. I had turned into the world's fucking clumsiest vampire. Hell, maybe I was a fake vampire. I think we were supposed to be like cats and always land on our feet. So much for that fucking theory. I grabbed my junk to see if my dick had survived the three thousand foot fall.

Well, thank fucking God that piece of equipment was still intact. I stared up in the rain, hoping for a few seconds that maybe I would drown. Swimming was not my thing. Fucking nothing seemed to be my thing anymore. Here I was laying flat on my back in the mud, in the dark, outside of Bella's house and for what?

I decided it was time to go home. I got to my feet doing a more thorough body part check. I grunted when I reached my dick. How could I still be partially stiff. My fucking God, maybe there was something wrong with me. This just wasn't normal. Besides my obvious erection, everything else seemed to be in order, so I started the long fucking walk home.

"I'm just gonna open the top button," I grumbled. I needed some sort of relief. Okay maybe two buttons.

Fuck.

"Edward?"

Oh Jesus Christ. Mrs. fucking Cope.

"Erm, yeah." I turned my head, shielding my eyes from the light. As usual someone had been able to sneak up on me, in a fucking car. How could I not have heard a car coming up behind me.

"What are you doing out here in the rain? Get in and I'll drive you home."

"Uh, no that's okay," I stammered trying to nonchalantly get the fucking buttons on my jeans closed. I swear the fucking rain had shrunk those little slits. What the hell did it matter anyway. This was nothing new. She'd seen my fucking hard on before. I shrugged my shoulders and trudged over to the passenger door.

"Edward are you okay?"

"I'm peachy," I huffed. I could feel her eyes slide down my chest and stop at the bump in my pants. Since my boxers were the same color as my jeans maybe she wouldn't notice.

She cleared her throat and clenched the steering wheel so tight her knuckles were turning white. I put my face in my hands and exhaled. My fucking life sucked. Thankfully, no more words were exchanged until she pulled into my driveway.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Try to get some rest Edward."

I swear she fucking giggled and said something about enjoying the show. The only good thing was that my dick had finally deflated so I could button my pants.

Well, I can honestly say this had been one of the worst days of my long fucking life. I walked into the house, not even bothering to strip my wet clothes off. I'd had enough of every one looking at my junk. Esme could kill me later for messing up the fucking entryway and stairs.

I heard a few snickers as I walked down the hallway to my room. I opened the door.

"JesusmotherfuckingChrist!"

My room looked like something in a fucking B horror movie. There were little plastic bats hanging from the ceiling, like about one hundred of the fuckers. My floor, my bookshelves, my desk, my everything was covered with fucking plastic fangs and little fucking coffins. A fucking silver, yes fucking silver, sparkly Elvis cape was a spread across the bed. There were books on vampires and vampire comics laying on the floor. They even put up a fucking poster of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise from An Interview with a Vampire. Just fucking great.

"ARGH! I fucking hate you guys!"

Loud howls of laughter filled the house. God damn Jasper and Emmett.

*~*

Does anyone fucking remember what the god damn score of this stupid game is?

"Edward."

"Jasper, get the fuck out of here. I'm busy."

"Emmett and I think we should get the points. We nailed you with the fake teeth." Jasper couldn't contain himself. I swear there were tears running down his face he was laughing so hard. "Oh my fucking God, Edward, a FAKE FUCKING VAMPIRE. Let me get your cape, Count Chocula."

I snorted and ducked away as he tried to put the cape on my shoulders. "Get the fuck away from me!"

"Not until you give us the points," Jasper grinned.

"Fine take them," I growled. "Asshat!"

Jasper wrapped that sliver cape around his shoulders and fucking chased me around the room yelling. "I want to suck your blood, Count Chocula."

Sometimes I hate my fucking family.

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**Jasper can wear a cape for me anytime. C'mon review, pimp, recommend the story...please...I'll share my Count Chocula with you...I promise next chapter we will make it to the school dance. Catch ya next Friday...Drizl**


	15. Is Ballroom Dancing A Sport

**I kinda lost my funny again, so I hope this chapter gives you a few chuckles. In case you forgot (yeahright) I'm not Steph Meyer, because frankly she would just slam the proverbial bedroom door in your face...me not so much. This story is rated M for a reason baby...lotsa swears and lemons. Is there any other way to write? **

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****Is Ballroom Dancing a Sport?**

**Chapter 15**

It took me an hour to gather up all the vampire paraphernalia Jasper and Emmett had put in my room. The worst thing was getting those fucking bats down from the ceiling. It was like they didn't want me to get them down. I have no idea what they used to stick them on the ceiling but Esme was going to freak because when I pulled them down a lot of paint came with them.

And the teeth...shit they were everywhere. Every time I got close to getting them all picked up, Jasper would swoop into my room wearing that fucking cape and pelt me with more teeth, shouting shit about Count Chocula. I wanted to shove those plastic teeth up Jasper's ass.

Fucking Jasper.

When my room was back in order I collapsed on the bed. I figured this was how it felt to be exhausted. I actually closed my eyes. Maybe when I opened them again everything would be back to normal. I would be a fierce vampire who fucked whoever and whenever I wanted and I wouldn't be going to a lame ass high school dance.

I just used the word fierce.

I groaned. Who was I fucking kidding. I didn't know how to be that guy anymore. I couldn't even figure out how to get in a human high school girl's pants. I rolled over and planted my face in my pile of pillows. I was so fucked.

"Edward."

"Shit!" I yelped.

"You are so jumpy," Alice said, shaking her head. "It's time to go to school."

"Damn, I was sorta hoping for a sunny day."

"Sorry, Edward," she said. I think she was actually sorry, which scared me in a way I couldn't explain. What the fuck else could happen.

"I'll be down in a minute. I need to take a quick shower."

"You look like shit Edward."

"Thanks for that Alice." I rolled my eyes and dismissed her with a wave of my hand, quickly disappearing into the bathroom.

It took me about five minutes to shower and change. I could hear Emmett revving the engine on his Jeep, so I stepped out on my balcony and jumped, running to catch up with them.

No one said a word to me the entire ride. Emmett and Jasper were acting weird the whole trip to school and that was saying a lot, because sometimes I didn't know when Jasper was messing around or just being his normal weird self. When we pulled into the parking lot, Jasper was out of the Jeep before it stopped and Emmett was hot on his heels.

What now?

Rose and Alice had their heads together, whispering and giggling. I've said it before, giggling girls made me fucking nervous.

This day was not starting out well.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and started the long walk across the parking lot.

I made it to my locker with only a few people staring at me and a few smart ass comments that I chose to ignore. I glanced around and caught a glimpse of Jasper and Emmett lurking at the end of the hall. I started to wonder if I should open my locker but I needed my fucking English book.

Fuck it. I wasn't going to let my dumb ass brothers get the best of me. I threw open the door and of course, a shitload of vampire teeth spilled out all over the floor. God damn, those two. Everyone in the hallway burst out laughing. Jasper came sauntering over and actually asked me if he could borrow a few pairs. He was lucky I didn't knee him in the nuts.

I left the teeth scattered around the hallway floor. Several kids were grabbing for them. Great, now I was going to be treated to people with fake fangs all damn day.

Thankfully, the rest of day was uneventful except for the vampire teeth sitting on my desk in Biology. I didn't even notice them until Bella came and sat down. She pushed them over to me and asked me if they were mine. All I could do was glower at her.

"I'm just kidding Edward," she said, poking me in the side.

"Oh for the love of all that's holy! No they are not mine!" I growled. I wasn't in the mood for anymore shit and I definitely was not in the mood for something to spring up in my pants because Bella was near me. It was better if I just ignored her until that damn dance.

"Jeez, you don't have to bite my head off," she barked.

I growl erupted from my throat. More fucking vampire humor. I didn't know how much more of this shit I could take. I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff. I didn't want to do something stupid and expose my entire family. I kept telling myself it was better if everyone thought I was a fake vampire.

Bella flipped me off and didn't speak to me the rest of class. In fact, she ignored me the entire day and I started to wonder if she was still going to the dance with me.

When the final bell rang, I walked through the halls searching for Bella. I couldn't find her anywhere. I shoved my books into my locker and stalked out of the school. Where the fuck was she? I opened my mind and let the voices assault me.

_Ohmygod, the dance is tonight and I still don't know what I'm wearing. _Don't give a crap.

_Shit, I hope she goes down on me tonight. _Lucky you if she does.

_Cullen thinks he's a vampire. Classic. _Asshole!

_I can't forget my teeth tonight. _Aw, great they were going to be at the dance too.

_I wonder if Bella will dance with me tonight. _What the fuck!

My head snapped up with that last comment. I scanned the parking lot and my eyes came to rest on Bella leaning up against her truck talking to a guy. He was standing a little too close to her. What the fuck was going on?

Venom filled my mouth and I had to restrain myself from tearing across the parking lot and beating the shit out of this guy. It took all my strength to walk calmly over to the two of them. His shoulder was touching hers. I could feel my hands clench into fists and I was grinding my teeth so hard my head was vibrating.

"Hey Swan," I said as I tried to casually put my around her shoulders and move her away from this douche bag. "Who you teasing today?"

She elbowed me. "Jeezus, Cullen are you always such an ass?"

The guy stared at us. I think he was in my English class. I eyed him suspiciously.

"Hey, I'm Riley." He extended his hand to me. For some reason I wanted to rip his arm off, but I reluctantly shook his hand.

I turned my attention to Bella. "Uh, what time should I pick you up?"

"Oh right, the dance," Bella stammered.

Panic welled up in my throat. Didn't she want to go with me anymore? Bella didn't get a chance to answer my question because apparently there was some sort of action going on in the parking lot that was attracting all sorts of attention.

"Oh fuck!" I mumbled. "I'll talk to you later." I shrugged my shoulders and headed over to the commotion.

Jasper had that goddamn silver cape on and was accosting Alice up against Emmett's Jeep.

"Can we just fucking go home?" I whined to Emmett.

I grimaced when Jasper looked up, smiling at me. He was wearing some of those fucking teeth.

"Whatever you want Count Chocula,"Emmett said, smiling at me. Christ he had teeth too.

Jasper flashed a big toothy grin at me and then turned to the large gathering of students, he swung the cape with a flourish and bowed deeply before laying another one kiss Alice. The entire crowd burst out in cheers.

I climbed into the Jeep and tried to sit on the floor.

Fucking Jasper. Fucking Emmett. Fucking everyone. At the moment I hated them all.

Everyone finally climbed in. Emmett was pounding on the dashboard, laughing so hard the Jeep was fucking shaking. Jasper tried to sit on my lap. I pushed him off when my phone buzzed.

Bella's name popped up. Maybe she was going to cancel our date. Did I want her to cancel the date? What the fuck did I want? I didn't know anymore. I stared at the screen not sure if I wanted to see her text. Jeez, so what if she canceled. Fucking grow a pair.

_We decided to meet you guys at the dance. See U there. _

What the fuck? I wasn't picking her up? Who the hell was We?

"_Alice," _I growled in my head.

_Edward don't get all freaked out. We will see you at the dance. _

I scowled and shut her out of my head. So now, I was not only going to a fucking dumb ass dance, I would be showing up with Jasper and Emmett instead of my date. Jasper would probably wear that fucking cape.

When we got home Alice and Rosalie disappeared for a few minutes, coming back out a few seconds later carrying a huge suitcase.

"See you boys at the dance," Alice said as she heaved the case into the Jeep. I knew not to ask questions.

I shook my head, leaving them all standing outside. I couldn't take anymore of that lovey-dovey, kissy-face shit.

I stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to my room. Thank fucking God there was no more vampire garbage in here. I may have freaked on Jasper and Emmett if I would have come home to anymore of that crap.

God I was tense. What the fuck was going on with me? I was overwhelmed with feelings. I'm on fucking overload. My brain is not wired to handle all this weird shit Bella was throwing at me. One minute she's grabbing my goods and shoving her tongue down my throat. The next minute she's hanging out with some guy named Riley and letting him touch her shoulder.

A low growl welled up in my throat when I thought about Riley and Bella.

Holy Shit, was I jealous? I don't think I'd ever experienced that particular feeling before. It was odd and uncomfortable and I didn't know what the hell to do about it. Edward Cullen was lost. Edward Cullen was confused. And I apparently Edward Cullen enjoyed talking about himself in the third person.

This game had gotten totally out of time had expired, the game was going into extra innings and truthfully, I still didn't know what the fucking game we were playing. The pressure of the previous games had turned me into a major weenie. I stared up at my damaged ceiling wondering how in the hell it had come to this.

I don't remember showering or putting my suit on, but somehow I was ready when Jasper told me it was time to go to the dance.

I suddenly had a sick feeling in my stomach. Since when do vampires get stomach-aches. Jeez, strike another one up for the fake vampire.

I trailed behind Jasper and Emmett. Thank fucking God Jasper wasn't wearing that damn cape. I had a sneaking suspicion that he had a pair of those teeth hidden in his suit jacket though. I guess those were better than that God awful silver cape.

"Edward," Jasper said.

Hm, he called me Edward and not Count Chocula, maybe I would survive this evening, but I wasn't going to let my guard down.

"What," I snapped defensively.

"You okay," Jasper asked and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "You know we were just giving you shit, right."

"Yeah, I suppose, but how in the hell did I end up going to this fucking dance with two dudes?"

Emmett snorted. "Once again I think this shit is your fault."

"You're probably right," I said hanging my head.

"I am," Emmett looked surprised. "I don't hear that too often. Say it again."

He laughed and punched me in the arm. I don't care what any vampire tells you. When Emmett hits you, it fucking hurts. I tried hard not to wince.

They let me drive the Volvo since Rosalie had taken the Jeep. I was hoping Bella would ride home with me instead of with Alice and Rosalie. Jasper took control of the radio, blasting out some Muse song. Maybe it wasn't so bad showing up to the dance with these guys. At least I wouldn't have a fucking hard-on.

Just as we were about to turn into the parking lot, Emmett leaned forward and handed me a flask. Sweet mercy, he brought a taste of blood.

Sometimes, I love my family.

This would help immensely with my fucking nerves. I took a long draw and passed it to Jasper. We finished the bottle as I made the turn into the lot.

By the time we parked, the lot was already overflowing with kids running around in formal wear. I caught a glimpse of Alice and then I saw Bella. My dick woke up and strained against my pants.

Holy hell.

She wasn't wearing much of anything but skin. White, creamy, satin bare skin. My eyes hungrily devoured her. Her hair was piled up on top of her head, exposing her throat. I drag my eyes away from her throat, but finally I managed to look away from her pulse point, following the line of her clavicle right down to her cleavage where a dark blue dress finally showed up.

I would have to remember to thank Alice for her excellent taste in hairdo's and clothing.

"_Your welcome dear brother,"_she snickered.

"_Out!" _I shouted and went back to leering at Bella. The tour continued as I drifted down the satiny material over the swell of her breasts, to the gathered fabric around her waist and down to the edge of the dress which stopped mid thigh. I think I was shaking. Bare fucking legs. My dick twitched reminding me that once again she had me by the fucking balls and we weren't even touching.

Christ.

She cleared her throat causing me to come out of my trance. She gave me a small smile. I was so busted, but at the moment I didn't really fucking care.

"You look...very...um nice," I stammered.

Holy hell. Mr. Smooth shows up again. Nice? I should have said mind blowingly gorgeous.

And now I'm making up words. Jeez, why is it so hard for me to talk to her?

She blushed and looked at the ground.

"Hey Swan, I'm really sorry for being an ass in Biology today, but my brothers have been riding me pretty hard."

"I know. I shouldn't have bit your ...er, chewed you out...um ohmygod, I'm sorry." Bella turned her back on me, muttering something that sounded like fuck me. I heard a strange slooshing noise as Bella gulped something down.

Bella turned back to me and I caught a strong whiff of alcohol. Did Bella just take a snort? Wow, she must be fucking nervous too.

She looped her arm through mine and we stumbled into the school.

There were several kids lining the hall and a few flashed their fangs at me, but I didn't give a fuck because Bella was currently leaning up against me. The heat from her side seared into my body. I put my arm over her shoulders and pulled her closer. I think she fucking sighed.

We stepped into the gym which had been lamely transformed into a ballroom by using the standard crepe paper and christmas lights for decorations. I rolled my eyes, but Bella seemed to enjoy the view until she saw Jessica and her expression soured.

"Will you excuse me for a minute. I have to take care of something." She patted my arm.

"No problem. Would you like something to drink?"

"You have no idea," she muttered as she made a beeline to Jessica.

Wait, what? Did that mean she wanted something to drink? Why can't anyone just give me a straight fucking answer? I hated all these guessing games.

"Holy fuck," I breathed. I glanced back at her and Jessica. They were engaged in a very heated conversation. Jessica wrapped her fingers around Bella's wrist but Bella yanked her arm back, glaring at Jessica. Bella started to walk away, but Jessica ran and stepped in front of her effectively blocking her way.

Well this was interesting.

A crowd of kids soon swallowed them up and I lost sight of them. Christ. What the hell was that about?

I ran my hand through my hair as I made my way over to the table filled with drinks. Too bad they didn't have a blood cocktail or anyone to offer up their arm to me. I could use another shot.

"Hello Edward," Mrs. Cope said.

I smiled at her trying to ignore the fact that she was so checking me out. Thank fucking God my dick was under control, for once.

"Are you here with anyone?"

"Um, yes, Bella Swan is my er, date."

Did we really have to do this right now?

"Well, I'm glad you took my advice and asked her out. You have a good time, but behave yourself," she said sternly as her eyes cascaded down my body coming to rest on my dick.

"Um, okay," I groaned and grabbed a drink, moving away from the table as fast as I could.

Jesus Christ.

Somebody bumped into me almost making me spill my drink. "Watch it," I growled.

"Fuuuh-ck you vamp boy," Mike Newton slurred out.

I tried to ignore the fucker, but he wouldn't let me go. I think it was the teeth hanging out of his mouth that set me off. I almost punched the asshole in the face, but Emmett managed to grab my arm in mid air before it connected with his face.

He pulled me over to the wall, quietly removing a flask from his jacket pocket.

"Here, take a draw and settle down," he rumbled.

"Thanks," I said and brought the bottle to my lips. I tried to hand the bottle back to Emmett but he shook his head.

"You seem to need it more than me." He winked at me and shouted for Rosalie, dragging her out on the dance floor when some loud headbanging song came over the speakers.

I shoved the flask into the inside pocket of my jacket. The feel of the bottle pressed against my chest was comforting and gave me a shot of confidence. Who ever thought the day would come when a human female would be my undoing.

Unfuckingbelievable.

I scanned the crowd and saw Bella and Jessica stumble back into the gym. Neither looked very happy. Bella scowled when Riley stopped her, taking her hand and pulling her to the dance floor.

The calm feeling fled my body and was replaced by pure fucking rage. Every single muscle in my body clenched when Riley put his hand on the small of her back.

Fuck this shit. She was my fucking date and I didn't share. I growled loud enough so several kids around me physically stepped away from me. I narrowed my eyes at them and watched as Erik Yorkie's vampire teeth dropped to the floor. I stomped on them as I brusquely walked past them.

I caught Bella's eyes and they widened when she say the expression on my face. I took a deep breath and tapped Riley on the shoulder.

"I think you're with my date," I said smoothly.

"Oh, hey, no harm, just a quick dance," he said, dropping his hand from her back and releasing her.

Her eyes met mine, making my already aching dick pulse in my pants.

"Let's fuhhcckking dance, Cullen!" She muttered something else but I had no idea what she said because at the moment her hand was on my ass as she moved into my arms.

A few people flashed their fangs at us, but I didn't give a fuck anymore especially when Bella's hand slipped under my jacket. She tugged on my shirt and I felt warm fingers dance across the small of my back. I buried my face in her neck, letting the venom drip down my teeth as I gently nipped at her.

If she thought I was a fake vampire I was going to play it for all it was worth. Maybe I should have grabbed a pair of those plastic teeth.

I gave Bella a small wet lick up her collarbone and was treated to a loud moan. She had managed to get my shirt out of my pants and the button was now open. I had no idea if there was any music playing.

"Cullen," she hissed as her hands roamed away from my abs and tangled in my hair. She yanked me down to her mouth, flicking her tongue across my lips. Holy shit, my dick was wide fucking awake now.

I did notice she tasted different, like a lot of alcohol. Was Bella tipsy?

She sucked my bottom lip and I forgot what I was doing. We bumped into the gym wall and suddenly she pinned me up against the wall, thrusting her hips against my now very hard dick.

"Goddamn, Bella, are you trying to kill me?" I hissed.

She stumbled back, a startled look played across her face.

"What," she gasped.

What the fuck did I do now?

"You...you...called me Bella," she gave me a crooked smile and leered at me, slamming back into me. Her arms slid into my coat jacket. I felt her fingers come to rest on the flask.

Holy shit.

"Are you holding out on me," she asked as she pulled the flask out. I tried to grab it from her but she turned away from me, unscrewing the top.

Holyfuckingshit.

Everything started to move in slow motion. My eyes followed the movement of the bottle as she raised it to her lips. I was starting to panic and pant all at the same time. Her mouth wrapped around the opening and I watched the red liquid slide into her mouth. She swallowed and cocked her head, grinning at me.

"Hmmm, not bad, but I like my stuff bettah." She handed the flask back to me and proceeded to pull a tiny bottle of whiskey out of her cleavage, taking a quick sip and emptying the bottle. Wow, Bella just did a shot of blood followed by a whisky chaser.

She hiccuped. " Oh, sorry, I should have asked if you wanted any."

I was speechless, floored and so turned on that my dick was dancing to the beat of the music playing.

"Edward," she was now totally pressed up against me. "Less you n me get outta here"

All I could do was nod and lean in for a little lick. She had a drop of blood on her mouth and there was no way I was letting that go to waste. She purred into my mouth.

"Uh, okay, are you sure," I mumbled againsts her lips.

"Yep," she popped the word and swayed a little more. I was beginning to think Bella was a little more than tipsy. Did I care? This could be the opportunity I needed. But was this the way I wanted to do it?

I felt her fingers rake over my dick.

"Fuck yeah."

We were getting the hell out of here...now. I picked her up, throwing her over my shoulder. She squealed when I gently smacked her ass and then I almost crashed into Mrs. Cope. She arched an eyebrow at me and stepped out of the way.

I slowly set Bella down, making sure I kept her steady. She eyed Mrs. Cope for a few seconds.

"He's mine," she spit out, grabbing me by the tie and pulling me out of the gym.

Holy fuck, Bella just laid claim to me with a fucking teacher. Jesus Christ.

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Not that fucking scoring shit again. Who should get the points this chapter? I don't know...maybe Jasper because in truth, he was really working that cape shit. He had the whole school laughing. Yeah, I know it was at my fucking expense, but in the end he and Emmett came through with the shots of blood for me. God damn family can be a pain in the fucking ass but in the end you gotta love 'em.

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**I know, I'm sorry for cutting you off, but the chapter was getting really long. Well? What did ya think? Send me a little review...please...okay, okay I'll lend you Edward, but I'm keeping Jasper today. I wanna see that fucking cape! I'd like to give a special shout-out to all my h00rs who hang out at RAoR and are reading my story. I lurve you all! Until next week ~ I'm outta here...Drizl **

**PS Sometimes I wonder if there are any dudes reading this story? Um, I never offer up anything for you guys to tempt you into reveiwing. Bella? Rosalie? or hell even Edward. Whatever rocks your boat or gets your rocks off and makes you review! BWAHAHAHAHA..**


	16. Let Me Off the MerryGoRound

**Is it Friday already? Holy hell this posting every week is hard on a dirty girl. Do I really have to say all this shizz again? Well, crap, I'm not Steph Meyer she owns Twilight but this is my story. I just put her characters in it. And we all know by now that if rated M isn't for you then move along people...there's nothing to see here *whispers* except some nasty language and a whole pile of lemons. Yes we are getting close my peeps so let's head out to the ball diamond again and see what happens when these two crazy kids hook up at the dance. **

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**Let Me Off the Merry-Go-Round**

**Chapter 16**

I still can't believe Bella just claimed my ass in front of Mrs. Cope. What a fucking turn-on. But that's not all. She fucking did a blood shot with a whiskey chaser and now she's dragging me out of the dance to go somewhere else. I think I'm going to say a prayer to every fucking God that tonight is that night we are going to do the deed, seal the deal, um, slide into home base.

Whatever, I just want to get with Bella.

God, this was turning into the weirdest fucking night of my life. What the hell, ever since Bella came to town, my life has been screwed upside down and fucking sideways. I really don't know if I'm coming or going anymore.

"Hey Cullen," Bella said as we stumbled out of the school. Apparently her clumsiness was catchy, since I seemed to be tripping over my feet as well as hers.

"Yeah Swan," I said, figuring it was safer to call her Swan since we seemed to be back in game mode again.

"Will you fucking stop for a second," she said, yanking on my tie. She tried to stay upright but her shoes were totally screwing her up. She couldn't seem to keep her balance. She almost fell over sideways but I grabbed her around the waist and managed to get her straight again.

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Tipsy Bella was funny.

She glared at me and then looked at her feet. "Fucking shoes,"she hissed and bent over, dragging me down with her since she still had an iron grip on my tie. She almost choked me to death in the process. She quickly pulled her high heels off, tossing them to the ground.

"Uh, don't you think you might want these tomorrow," I said as I picked them up and stuffed them into my jacket pockets.

"I don't give a shit about the shoes," she growled. "Fuck Cullen, stand still for a few seconds. You're making me sea sick."

I eyed her cautiously. I still didn't completely trust her. I mean could you really blame me? She'd pulled a lot of shit on me the past few days and I was sick and tired of people laughing at me and my dick aching all the time.

Her eyes locked with mine, causing strange sensations to flood into my body. She must be doing that hypnotizing shit again because I could not pull away from her gaze. She fucking owned me. What the hell were we playing now? Showdown at the OK Corral? Our intense stare down was interrupted when a few people filed out of the school breaking the spell she had me under.

"Cullen, Bella," Tanya slurred. Jeez, was everyone fucked up tonight?

"Tanya," Bella snarled. I think Bella was pissed off at everyone.

"Wait Bella, no hard feelings," Tanya said, holding a bottle out to Bella. They both nodded at each other and ignored me. I watched as Bella grabbed the bottle, tossed her head back and took a hard pull. I guess this signaled some sort of truce between the two of them.

Tanya winked at Bella. They must be exchanging some sort of secret girl stuff. I started to wonder if I should be nervous, but Bella shoved the bottle into my hand before I could make that decision. Guess I was included in this truce too.

Fuck, I better fake taking a drink so they would at least think I was sealing this truce. Plus I didn't want them to believe I was a pussy or anything. I tilted the bottle up, bringing the liquid to my lips and pretended to swallow. I was just about to pull the bottle away from my mouth when someone came up behind me and smacked me on the back. Before I knew it liquid was pouring down my throat. I think I inhaled half the fucking bottle.

"Fuck," I gagged, spitting some of the shit out, but most of it went down my throat, burning all the way to my stomach. I think I was seeing stars. Holy hell, how did alcohol affect a vampire?

"Hey sorry about that man," Riley said as he slid his arm around Tanya's waist. "Guess you won't be needing anymore shots tonight."

I wanted to punch the fucker, but Tanya's face brightened as she snuggled into him and I kinda felt sorry for her. She had offered me a truce and I had treated her like a piece of meat. She deserved to have some fun. Besides now Riley would have something else to occupy his time and keep him away from Bella. I didn't need him obsessing over her tonight or any other night for that matter.

Jeezus, my head was spinning a little bit or maybe the world was moving too fast for me.

"Thanks Tanya, Riley, we'll see you guys later. C'mon Cullen," Bella growled and grabbed my tie again, pulling me over to my car.

She rammed me up against the hard body of my car. The door handle dug into my ass but I really didn't give a shit when I felt Bella's fingers dance across the back of my neck and slide up into my hair. She tugged gently on my hair, pulling my face down to hers. Her lips were glistening, slightly parted and I could see her pink tongue waiting to taste me. Instead of claiming my mouth, she ghosted her lips over mine, making my head fall back against the car. How could something so chaste feel so fucking good?

"Fuuuck Cullen." Her lips buzzed against my neck. The vibrations headed right down to my fucking dick.

Holy hell.

"You taste so fucking good. I could kiss you all night, but I want more, Cullen." I felt her fingers dig into my shoulders. "I _need_ more."

"M-m-more," I gasped, sounding like a little girl being offered a huge bowl of her favorite candy.

Holy shit. I couldn't fucking contain my excitement anymore. My dick was fucking pulsing against my zipper, screaming for some sort of relief. My hands went around her waist and I pulled her roughly to my body. She tilted her head and yanked on my tie again, crashing against my lips. This tie jerking shit was pretty hot. I liked aggressive Bella. We both moaned and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth and explore the deliciousness that was her.

She moaned again, but then she moved away from me. I was a bit confused until her brown eyes locked with mine and I watched her tongue slowly glide up her open palm leaving a wet, slick path of moisture. Jesus Christ she was sexy. She slowly moved her hand down to my waist and popped the button on my pants. I was starting to drool. Next came the painfully slow dragging of the zipper. I swear I heard each click of each fucking tooth on that zipper. She licked her lips and slid her hand down into my boxers, clasping hold of my rock hard dick. Her slick hand set a gentle rhythm that made my toes fucking curl and every nerve in my body was screaming out in ecstasy.

"Oh God," I moaned and my knees almost gave out. I heard someone snicker from across the parking lot.

"Get a room," someone else yelled.

"Swan, we need to...Fuck that feels...God damn....unhhh."

My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I lost the power of speech as she stroked me faster. Was I finally going to get some relief?

More people were strolling by and tossing out crude remarks, but I didn't really give a rats ass anymore. Fuck them. But after a few more rude comments, Bella regained her composure and my dick wept when she removed her hand from my pants. I fucking wanted to cry.

"Less get the fuck outta here," she mumbled and leaned into me for a second. "I don' think I shoulda done that last shot. Help me get in the car, Cullen."

"Uh, K."

My mouth felt funny, like it wasn't working correctly. I frowned and pursed my lips. I started to open the car door and my pants began sliding down my hips. Guess I didn't button them. I really did try to get that little fucking button back through the slit, but I was having a hard time lining the two up.

Bella started to whine. "Cullen, I'm waiting."

Fuck the pants. Bella wanted to leave and who was I to deny her wish. Christ I felt dizzy. I didn't even know vampires could get dizzy. Heh, guess they can. I gripped the car trying to regain my balance. Christ, I needed to fucking sit down.

Bella eyes widened as I slid down the car, coming to rest on the pavement. What the fuck was going on? She grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back to my feet.

"Swan." It was my turn to whine. "Jus' like, let me catch my breath."

She leaned over me, exposing her boobs. I reached up and filled my hands. Damn, they were a perfect fit and so squishy.

Squishy...hehehe...fuck.

Bella bit her lip and followed me down to the ground. She hiked up her dress, straddled my lap and proceeded to drag her pussy across my dick.

"Cullen, are you fucking drunk?" She giggled a little as we rubbed noses.

I seriously had no idea what was going on with me. I'd never drank alcohol before. Maybe I was drunk. Oh my God, maybe I was a fake vampire. I needed to check this theory out, so I pressed my nose into the hollow of her throat. The familiar burn settled in my throat and my mouth filled with venom. Thank fucking God I was still a functioning vampire.

"You can't drive," she said as she licked my ear, nibbling on the lobe and then trailing small kisses down my neck.

"I'm fine," I growled and turned her face to mine, capturing her lips. She was making these hot little noises and I was losing my shit. I was gonna cum sitting on the ground in my school parking lot. Those noises weren't the only thing that was rocking my world. Bella was also grinding the shit out of my rock hard dick. The thought of just whipping it out and fucking her crossed my mind, but I didn't want it to happen this way. Bella deserved better.

Where in the fuck had that thought come from? It fucking took me by surprise but it helped me settle down a little. Yeah, okay not really, but I'm fucking trying here.

"Darlin', we can't do this here," I drawled out. What the fuck? Now I seemed to have Jasper's accent.

She squeaked as I pushed my hips into her center, but she seemed to agree with me as more people filed by us. Someone threw their plastic teeth at us. Bella laughed and struggled to her feet. I had to use the car to aid me in my effort to stand. Fuck, my head was twirling a bit more. Bella staggered and fell back into me, knocking us both to the ground again. This leaving shit was getting to be a lot of fucking work. It really wasn't that bad here, maybe we should just rest for a bit.

Bella must have thought the same thing because she settled between my legs, leaning back against my chest.

"What the fuck is wrong with us Cullen?"

"Don't know Darlin'. We can't seem to get nothin' right." Sweet, I can speak good 'ol boy. Jasper would be so proud.

Bella's head lolled to the side, exposing her lovely neck to me. Ohmygod, I so wanted to sink my teeth into that tasty looking flesh. My fingers stroked her heated skin. I could feel her pounding heartbeat through her transluschent, transfuckinglusen, um, her fucking paper thin skin.

Christ. Even my inner voice is fucked up. This was so not good and why the hell does it feel like my head is in the washing machine on the spin cycle.

Through the haze of my incoherency I heard a familiar voice. I prayed I was hallucinating. "What the fuck are you two doing on the ground," Emmett shouted, thrusting his hand out for Bella to grab.

"Er," Bella stumbled as he pulled her to her feet.

"Damn girl, I thought you were the responsible one. You been hitting the sauce tonight?" He smiled and gave me his hand. Of course, my legs wobbled and I almost slid back down to the ground. Emmett's mouth fell open. "Holy shit Edward, what the hell did you do?"

"It was a fucking accident," I groaned and leaned against my car. Bella tucked herself under my arm. We both swayed back and forth. The parking lost..._the parking lost_...I giggled quietly. My inner voice was a funny guy. What was I thinking about? Oh yeah, the tilted parking lot or maybe we were standing on a hill.

"Accident my ass. How the fuck do you get yourself in these messes little brother. There is no way, I'm letting you drive. Give me the fucking keys."

I dug in my pocket and sheepishly handed them to Emmett. Apparently a vampire could get drunk.

"And button your goddamn pants," he said before he burst out laughing. I was just happy there were no fucking feathers stuck to me this time.

Feathers. Motherfuck. That was pretty funny. No wonder Jasper laughed at me.

Emmett opened the back door and shoved me in the car. Bella took the opportunity to jump on top of me.

"Oof Darlin' watch the goods."

"I'd really like to see those goods, Cullen," Bella muttered in my ear.

My dick twitched against her thigh.

Emmett just shook his head and slammed the door. He jumped into the front seat and popped the keys in the ignition, starting my baby up.

"Gotta make a quick phone call," Emmett said and pulled out his phone, dialing quickly.

"Hey baby, let me talk to Jasper. Huh, yeah, I'm in the parking lot and I'll be back in a minute. I gotta bring Edward and Bella home."

He was silent for a few moments. "Hey Jazz man, yeah, I gotta take Edward and Bella home, so could you watch over Rose until I get back."

Jasper must have asked what the hell was going on, because Emmett started laughing.

"Oh man, you are so going to love this shit. Edward's fucking drunk."

Shit. Damn. Christ. Did he have to tell Jasper.

"Yeah, who fucking knew," he snorted and loud howls of laughter filled the car.

Fucking Emmett.

I finally became aware that Bella was trying to undo my pants again. I hissed and pulled her hand away from my zipper.

"Just wait darlin'," I whispered and kissed her cheek. Could someone please tell me why I'm talking like Jasper? Hell.

Emmett snapped his phone shut and shot us a couple of hard glares in the mirror.

"Could you two keep it above the waist until I get you home."

Emmett laughed again and squealed out of the parking lot.

"Hey man, careful with the Volvo." I sniped.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered.

Bella was still on top of me. Fuck she felt nice. Nice, like in this is where she fucking belongs, nice..all the time. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a quick squeeze. I ran my hands down her back and she curled into me, sighing into my chest. I traced small circles on her back and she sighed again. Fuck, I loved that sound.

The car came to a quick stop, almost sending me and Bella to the floor. Emmett flung the door open and helped Bella get out of the car.

"What the hell would your daddy say," he said shaking his finger at her. She giggled and he patted her on the head. The dick wipe didn't help me get out of the car. He had his arm around Bella and was helping her up the front steps. I couldn't fucking stand up straight. I bumped my fucking head on the door frame and fell out of the car, landing on my face again. JesusfuckingChrist. This drinking shit wasn't for me. I obviously couldn't hold my liquor.

After several tries, I finally managed to get to my feet. Emmett and Bella were standing on the porch laughing at me.

"This is fucking priceless. I should get a camera and record this moment forever, but I have to get back to Rosie. Good thing i have a great memory," Emmett said in between hysterical fits of laughter.

Would I ever live this night down?

I fell up the stairs causing Emmett to grip his sides and gasp for air. Emmett was actually gasping for air. Classic. Maybe I should just crawl.

"So, can you two take it from here or would you like me to carry you up to your room."

I frowned at him, rolling my eyes. Bella laced her fingers with mine, nodding at Emmett and pulling me into my house.

I'm not really sure how we made it up the stairs to my room, but we did. Bella dove on my bed and threw a pillow at me. A few feathers flew up and swirled around my room. I groaned as I watched the loose feathers float around. It brought back wonderful memories of my fantasy blow job.

Fuck, that was not a good thing to think about, because me dick was knocking on my zipper again.

"Come here, Cullen," Bella said in a hot sultry voice. She looked like she wanted to devour me. She rolled over on her back, lifting up on her elbows, and stared at me.

"What cha doing way ova there," she asked.

"Admiring the view, Darlin'."

"God, that's so hot. Talk like that some more," she hissed, running her hands up her body until they came to a rest on her boobs. Those should be my fucking hands there and then I lost all sense of dignity and pounced on her.

The fucking bed felt like the goddamn tilt-a-whirl, but I fought the sensation and tried to concentrate on Bella's body squirming underneath me.

"Cullen I need you to put your hands on me...now," she said.

Those were the fucking words I'd been waiting to hear all fucking week.

"You sure darlin'?"

She groaned and rolled her eyes, stilling herself beneath me. As usual I could feel myself getting incredibly hard and she made it worse when she started moving again. And then things got frantic. She arched her back and crashed her lips against mine. Her hands ran up into my hair, and I felt her fingers dig into my scalp. I groaned into her mouth and dipped my tongue in for a quick taste. My hands moved from her face to her body, slowly coming to rest on her breasts. Her breathing hitched as my fingers slipped under the fabric. Her nipples hardened from my touch.

"So fucking good," I muttered.

She had too many clothes on. I had too many clothes on. I removed my hands from her boobs and went in search of the fucking zipper so I could get this dress off her.

My hands ran up and down her back, frantically searching. What the fuck? Didn't this goddamn dress come with a zipper. Did Alice sew her into it? Bella was grunting as she tried to reach under my body to undo my zipper.

"Where the fuck is..." I mumbled

She bit my neck, sucking down hard. "Fuuucck, unnnhhh."

"Cullen, ugh, move, I can't...."

"Where the fuck..." I grunted.

"Here let me, zippers on the side," she panted.

"Oof," she kneed me in the junk.

"Sorry," She spluttered. "Shit, just let me up."

"Wait your hair's stuck on my button."

"Shit Cullen, ouch, that hurts."

"Hold still," I groaned and managed to unwrap her hair before we pulled a big chunk out.

For fucks sake, you'd think neither of us had ever made out before. We were acting like two fumbling morons.

Bella finally managed to get to her feet. Her dress was askew and her hair was a snarly mess, but she still looked so fucking hot. I think I may have started drooling again. Instead of saying another word, she pushed my hands out of the way, turning slowly to face me. She smirked and reached to the side of her dress, lowering the zipper. Who puts a fucking zipper on the side of a dress? I forgot about the shitty zipper when the dress pooled at her feet. I couldn't think anymore. Bella was standing before me in nothing more than a very tiny piece of lace. Her skin was milk white and looked silky smooth. God I wanted to touch her. Her cheeks stained red as I ran my eyes over her.

"You're exqu...exquiz...er, nice."

Yep, Mr Smooth has once again entered the building making me look like a total douche. Why can't I ever get this fucking right. At least I seemed to have lost my southern accent.

Bella swayed a little and her eyes looked a little out of focus. Maybe it was me. The room seemed to be kinda lurching around, keeping everything off center.

"C'mere," I muttered. My mouth was fucking up the words again. What the fuck was wrong with me? Apparently my lack of control of the English language didn't bother Bella because she crawled on top of me.

The heat from her body made everything spin harder. When did we get on the fucking Tea Cup ride? I gasped and was hit by her scent. My mouth immediately filled with so much venom that I gagged. Jeez, I needed to spit it out, but I couldn't just hack one up in front of Bella. I grimaced and swallowed it. Oh fuck, my stomach was not happy about this at all.

Goddamn, stop the fucking merry-go-round. I wanna get off.

I opened my eyes to see Bella sorta gaping at me. Funny, I never noticed that tinge of green in her face before.

"Swan, you okay," I asked, gently touching her cheek. She felt a little clammy.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick." She clamped her hand over her mouth, jumped out of bed and headed into my bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

I jumped out of bed and fell to my knees as the floor spun out from underneath me. Fuck now I felt like I was going to be sick.

I heard a voice coming from the hallway. "Edward, are you okay?"

Aw, fuck Carlisle was outside my door.

"Son, open the door," he said sternly.

I crawled to the door and unlocked it. Carlisle almost tripped over me.

"What's wrong? Emmett called me and said something about you drinking alcohol. Are you crazy?"

"It was an assi..assaden...it happened...unh, I feel like shit Carlisle." I curled into a ball, wishing someone would shut down this endless fucking carnival ride.

We heard a loud moan from the bathroom.

"Who is in there?" Carlisle asked.

"Uh, Bella, she, gah." I had a small choking fit as I gagged on the venom pooling in my mouth again.

"Edward, you are going to have to get that shit out of your stomach. I'm sure most of it has been absorbed into your body, but you need to get the rest out."

Carlisle stifled back a laugh and handed me my garbage can. This evening was not turning out exactly how I planned it. Big fucking surprise.

"Edward," Bella called out weakly. My stomach did a small flip when I heard her call me Edward. I wanted to rush to her side and hold her hair as she barfed, but I had my own issues at the moment. My stomach whirled again and suddenly I hacked up everything like a cat barfing up a hairball.

I gagged a few more times before I decided I was steady enough to check on Bella. I crawled to the bathroom.

"I'm coming in, baby," I announced.

"Ohhh, fuck, I'm so sorry," she moaned.

"Forget about it. I fucking lost it too."

"Come, lay your head on the tile. It helps," she mumbled, patting the floor next to her.

I crawled closer and took her hand in mine. She was right, the coolness of the floor made my head feel a little better. I only wished I could pass out, but I knew I was going to have to grin a bear it. A few minutes later, Bella's breathing evened out. I don't know how long I stayed curled on the floor, but I was starting to feel a tiny bit better. Bella had pushed her body against mine and was shivering.

She was freezing to death. I needed to get her out of here and into bed. She didn't need to be sleeping on the bathroom floor. I stood up, testing my balance. It seemed to be okay, so I slid my arms under her naked torso and scooped her off the bathroom floor. She whimpered and snuggled into my body.

Dammit, now my dick was awake again. Someone just stake me. I was never going to win. Now, I just wanted her. I set Bella on my bed. I couldn't help it if my eyes wandered over her naked body.

Nasty thoughts invaded my mind. She wouldn't even remember. I could just pull her panties...ohmyfuckingGod I was turning into a fucking pervert. No fucking way. I ran over to my dresser and yanked a t-shirt out. I struggled getting it on her because she was kinda floppy and it was like dressing a life-size doll. After I got the t-shirt on, Bella collapsed on me. Her fucking nose was planted firmly in between my legs. My hips gave an upward thrust before I could gain control. Jesus Christ.

I pulled her face out of my crotch, wrapped several blankets around her and laid her down next to me. She sighed contentedly.

I stared at the ceiling counting the splotches left by those damn bats. This fucking night didn't work out again. I was doomed to spend the rest of my fucking life with blue balls. God my fucking head was throbbing. Unfuckingbelievable. I bet Carlisle is writing this up and going to present it to the Volturi. Hey, did you know Edward managed to get drunk. I believe he is the first vampire who cannot hold his liquor. The boy actually puked in his garbage can.

Maybe all this shit would have been worth something if I would have gotten to have my way with Bella. She shifted in my arms and mumbled what sounded like my name. My hearing must have been affected by the alcohol. Why would she be dreaming about me? I went back to counting the missing paint chunks on my ceiling.

Several tortuous hours later, Bella sighed again. She really liked to move her hands around a lot. Once I had to wrench her fingers loose from my fucking dick. I should have just pumped into her hand, but I didn't really think that would be cool and truthfully, she had a death grip on my cock so I couldn't do a lot of moving.

She stirred again.

"JesusChrist," she muttered. "Where the hell am I?"

She opened one eye and stared at me.

"Holy hell," she shouted and jumped out of bed. She tripped on her dress and glared at me. ""What the hell, did we..."

She tugged at the t-shirt she was wearing looking from me, to it and back at me again. She was almost hysterical. Fuck did she hate me that much?

"What? You were wasted last night. Do you really think I would take advantage of you when you weren't in control," I spat. "Do you think I'm that much of a fucking asshole?"

* * *

Jeezus I cannot believe Bella would actually think I would do anything...Am I really that bad...Is this how people believe I really am? I'm really fucking pissed right now and a little hurt...okay more than a little hurt...she...what the fuck...this goddamn game...I quit!

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**I know you facking hate me, but hell when they do get down to the loving it's gonna be one hot mess. I couldn't help it. I wanted to see Edward drunk and I think it was worth it. Stay tuned for the continuing saga of Game on Baby when next week we find out if Bella really thinks Edward's an asshole. I kinda doubt it. I think we are in for some heavy smexing in the early morning hours. So if it's not too much trouble give me a little review...please...or I know, this is really facking lame but if you really like this story and it kinda makes you snort every once in awhile you could nominate it for a gigglesnort award thingy...I'm running and hiding under my dirty laundry in the closet now. *rolls eyes* **

**gigglesnortawards(dot)mmmboptastic(dot)com/ or you can find info on thetwiightawards(dot)com look for the gigglesnort awards. Noms are due by May 12th  
**

**um I don't know what I can offer up this week...how about a ride with Edward er, on Edward, under Edward...now my mind is spinning! **

**PS Sorry I didn't reply to the reviews this past week, but I've been trying to set up a new blog for my fanfics and everything I read. I really do appreciate every review. Seriously, all authors love reviews...**


	17. Throwing in the Towel

**Holy Crispy Crackers. I'm just sliding in before the Friday deadline. I did a lot of facking writing this week so I don't know how good this chappie is going to be. It was getting to the point where I just wanted to finish it. So funny or not here it is...Oh and remember peeps, I'm not S. Meyer but DrunkVampward is mine as is Jasper and his facking cape. This is, as always a rated M, hello, M is for Mature and Nasty language and naughty lemons, story. You have been properly warned people, so take your seats and let the games begin again. **

* * *

**Throwing in the Towel**

**Chapter 17**

And we are back to this again. I can't take this fucking game anymore. I felt defeated, exhausted and just plain fucking sick of this whole thing. She actually thought I would have sex with her when she was drunk. She really must think I'm a fucking jerk and for some reason it hurt. It had never bothered me before. I was an asshole and I didn't fucking care. I didn't care how the girl felt the next day because I just took. I took most of her memories and I took what I needed from her to sate my needs, but lately I wanted more and it made me careless. I needed to go back to being the jerk. It was easier for me to deal with everything and much easier to exist as a jerk. Obviously this girl standing in front of me was just in this to win the game and that was just what I was going to let her do.

"I'm sorry Bella. You fucking win," I said quietly and left my room. I needed some space. I walked downstairs and stepped out on the deck. I sat down and let out a giant groan. What a fucking shitty night.

Someone slapped me on the back. "Want some company?"

"If I said no would you go away," I asked. I turned and was greeted by Jasper grinning like a fucking idiot. At least he didn't have any plastic fangs or that god damn cape on today. I don't think I could deal with any of that shit.

"Nah, you look like you need a shoulder to cry on," he said and sat down next to me. "What are you doing out here when you have a lovely creature up in your room."

"She fucking hates me," I grumbled. "And before you ask, I don't want to talk about it."

"Wasn't gonna ask, but," he paused and smirked at me. "I have to ask about the booze, Edward. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I didn't drink it on purpose. It was a fucking accident. That asshole Riley fucking smacked me on the back and the booze just went down my throat," I growled.

Jasper's eyes were wide with anticipation. "What did it feel like?"

"It made me feel weird and stupid. I couldn't even walk." I grimaced at the memory of stumbling around the parking lot and then falling out of the car.

"Yeah, Emmett mentioned that you were pretty klutzy," Jasper snickered.

"Of course he did." At least my life was fucking funny to my family.

"_Edward," _Alice's sharp voice echoed through my head.

"_Not now," _I shot back.

"_Don't you dare shut me out."_

_"I'm not talking to you." _

"Edward," Alice snapped out loud making me jump. "Jaz, can you give us a minute?"

I wanted to beg him to stay. Jasper shrugged his shoulders and whispered how sorry he was but he wasn't sticking around. He didn't want to get Alice pissed off again. My shoulders dropped and I sighed.

Alice sat down next to me and handed me a glass of blood.

"I thought you could use this," she said.

I groaned and took a drink. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now spill," she said.

"Aw, C'mon Alice. I can't do this."

"Edward, Bella won't talk to me. What happened with you two?"

"Alice please," I moaned and covered my face with my hands. I couldn't deal with this shit right now. I think I was fucking hung over. How could a vampire have a fucking hangover? Leave it to me to be the first one on record.

Goddamn everyone.

"Hey Cullen, is that tomato juice," Bella asked as she slid down next to me.

Where the hell had she come from and why was she talking to me? I didn't get chicks at all.

"Can I have a drink?" she asked reaching for my glass.

I growled, turned to the side and downed it in one gulp. I didn't need her drinking blood again. Christ.

"Jeez, Cullen," she huffed.

"Look Swan, you made it perfectly clear that you..."

"_Edward, shut the hell up," _Alice snapped in my head.

I shut my mouth and stared straight ahead. You could use a knife to cut the tension hanging in the air.

I heard the door open again. Bella had moved away from me and was leaning up against the railing of the porch.

"Here Bella." Alice was holding out a glass full of a red beverage. She wouldn't give Bella blood, would she?

She rolled her eyes at me. "It's tomato juice. Edward's weird about sharing his, so I thought I'd get you your own glass."

I shot an icy glare at Alice. She smirked at me, disappearing back into the house. Fuck, I'm out here alone and unprotected. What the hell did Bella want with me? She had already made it perfectly clear to me that she thought I was a complete shit-head.

Bella sat down again, scooting closer to me until her leg touched mine. I moved away from her. I didn't need any more teasing. I had enough of that fucking shit to last me for the rest of eternity.

"Look Swan," I huffed. "I told you I'm done with this game. You fucking win. Tell Jessica whatever you want. Tell her I sucked in bed. Tell her I couldn't get it up. I don't fucking care anymore. Destroy me, you deserve the victory and I probably deserve whatever shit you are handing out."

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "Wait, you knew about Jessica?"

"Contrary to popular beliefs, I'm not a total idiot."

"I never said you were," she said.

"You didn't have to. It's written all over your face," I said quietly and looked at the ground.

She slid closer to me, so once again our legs were touching. I wanted to move away, but I would have fallen off the porch if I did. I suppose I could jump up and run away, but I was tired of fighting with her. I wonder where Jasper hid that white flag. It was time to throw it in her fucking face. Maybe that would get her to leave me alone.

"Cullen, I never meant for this to get so out of hand," she whispered. "And I never expected you..." She stopped, covering her mouth with her hand.

Expected what? What the fuck did that mean? I was a little afraid to ask.

"Huh?" Oh yeah, brilliant response, Edward.

"Can I try something?"

"Like what," I furrowed my brow at her. Did I need to hold on to something? What the hell did she want to do? My hand was moving closer to my junk. I was going to protect that at all costs.

"Just hold still...don't move...I just want to try something..."

Well, fuck her voice was all breathy and it was kind of turning me on. Fuck no, I didn't want this, but then I could feel Bella's soft fingers stroking my cheek, trying to get me to turn toward her. I didn't know if I could.

My eyes met those deep chocolate brown orbs and I fucking melted. Christ, she could do whatever she wanted. She bit her lip, never taking her eyes off me and moved in slowly. What the fuck. Was she going to stake me or something? Instead her hand moved to the back of my neck, gently pulling me forward. I shut down my breathing. I wasn't going to let my dick know how close she was, but I couldn't fool him. Dammit, she was going to do it again to me. The pressure was already growing in my groin.

"Hold still, Cullen. I promise I won't hurt you." Her breath washed across my face and I weakened, taking in a small amount of air so I could taste her. I heard myself groan. Well, I guess all my points have officially gone down the toilet.

Her eyes were closing. I felt her lips touch mine and her fingers dug into my forearm. I stayed as still as a fucking statue, not daring to even kiss her back. She leaned closer to me and deepened the kiss. I felt her mouth open and she licked my bottom lip, gently nipping it.

How much more of this fucking torture was she going to subject me to. I was going to fall apart right in front of her. She was going to have me fucking begging for mercy.

Someone cleared their throat. Damn, everyone was sneaking up on me again. Bella moved away from me and I watched as her cheeks turned a pretty pink.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Carlisle said.

I didn't believe that for a moment. Carlisle had not yet met the evil Ms. Swan. He had only heard her groaning in my bathroom last night, so I knew he had ulterior motives.

"It's fine Carlisle. Please sit down," I said quietly. I was hoping he would go back into the house, but he actually accepted my invitation and sat down on one of the Adirondack chairs. "Uh, Carlisle, this is Bella Swan. I go to school with her."

I go to school with her? Holy shit. I felt my shoulders drop. I had lost ever ounce of cool I had ever possessed. I was now officially classifying myself as a complete loser. She really had destroyed me. I was in the presence of greatness. I should bow down and kiss her feet or something. No, no more kissing. That shit just fucks me up. I licked my lips and tasted her again and immediately felt a warm sensation in my crotch. I pulled at the hem of my shirt so I could cover my growing cock.

Carlisle shifted in his chair. "So how was the dance last night? I mean before you two turned into complete idiots and started drinking. Do I need to lecture you two on underage drinking?"

Oh, God please no. I can't handle this. I'm too fucking old for a parent lecture on the evils of drinking.

But Carlisle continued. "I'm very disappointed in you two for drinking last night. Although you were smart enough to let Emmett drive you home. I understand you are kids and kids like to experiment but getting drunk like that can lead to unforeseen things."

Unforeseen things? I'm beginning to panic and my mind is racing forward trying to decipher what the hell Carlisle is talking about.

"Carlisle, we're both sorry. It won't happy again, right Swan," I nudged her, hoping that if she apologized we might have a chance to avoid this conversation drawing out any longer.

"Yes, I am sorry, Dr. Cullen, I don't know what happened. I was so nervous last night. I thought having a few drinks would calm me down but I got a little carried away," Bella whispered. She looked as mortified as I felt.

Carlisle smiled. "I know you both think that drinking helps ease the nerves, but it also clouds your judgement. Now, I take it I don't have to have the sex talk with you. I trust you are being safe and careful? Edward?"

Oh My Fucking God.

My eyes widened and I shook my head vehemently. I wanted to shout at him to shut the fuck up and tell him there was no fucking sex last night. There had never been sex with Bella and the way things were going there wasn't going to ever be sex with her. If this talk continued I may just die of embarrassment and never have sex again.

Bella buried her head in my chest. Please Bella, if you are going to stake me...do it now. I didn't want to have the sex talk with Carlisle. Fuck, my points are all gone. Having to listen to a parent talk about safe sex was an automatic disqualification from the fucking game.

Fucking Carlisle.

I mindlessly patted Bella on the back, hoping that she understood this was in no way my idea.

"Please, think about everything I said and Edward, and if you need any condoms don't be afraid to ask." Carlisle stood up and patted Bella on the back. "It was very nice to meet you Bella."

All she could do was squeak.

Holy mother of God. I pushed her off me. "I'm so fucking sorry about that," I hissed.

Bella started laughing. "Oh fuck, that was priceless. My dad gave Alice, Rosalie and I the same talk yesterday before we went to the dance, but my dad actually gave us all condoms."

She collapsed in my lap, laughing her head off. What the fuck?

"Your should have seen your face when Carlisle mentioned safe sex. Holy shit, it was priceless. I swear you looked like you were going to pass out." She gasped for air.

"Glad my family amuses you," I grumbled.

"Oh, come on Cullen, it was fucking funny."

I grunted and pushed her out of my lap. My fucking dick hurt again. I couldn't believe I actually had a boner after listening to Carlisle talk about condoms, drinking and safe sex. At least he didn't offer up any pointers. Besides the fucker was about a half century too late with the sex talk.

"Ya know Cullen," Bella said. "I could probably help you with that."

"Help me with what," I asked innocently. I had no idea what the hell she was offering to help me with.

My eyes widened when she placed her hand on my dick.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked moving her hand away from my junk.

She sighed. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, er, I think. Well, hell Swan I don't really fucking know anymore," I huffed and ran my fingers through my hair. Could this be any more aggravating?

"I've never met anyone like you before," she said, lowering her eyes.

I snorted. She was so on with that statement. She really had no fucking clue who the hell she was dealing with. Maybe I should scare the shit out of her and just blurt out the truth. Hell maybe I should just fucking bite her and show her how much of a fake vampire I really am.

"Yeah, well, I've never met anyone like you either."

She rolled her eyes, turning her body and criss crossing her legs so she was facing me. "I'm just going to lay it out here."

"That would be much appreciated. Maybe then I would know what the fuck is going on."

"Edward."

She called me Edward. Was that good or bad?

"I knew Jess before I moved to Forks. We've been emailing back and forth and she talked a lot about you. You really fucked with her feelings and she was super pissed, so when she found out I was moving here, she enlisted me to fuck with you."

"I know all that already."

"Just shut up and let me finish," she growled. I tossed my hands in the air to signal my mock surrender. Hell, I was really surrendering.

"You really are a pompous ass, ya know."

"If you're just going to insult me, I'm out of here."

"No, wait, just let me get this out," she groaned and let her hair fall forward so it covered her face.

"Look, you don't have to do this," I said. "I told you the game is over. You are the victor, the winner. You can hoist the fucking trophy over your head. I told you I don't care anymore. I just can't take it, so I'm throwing in the fucking towel. I don't want to play anymore."

"Oh, for Christ sake, Edward, I don't want to play the game anymore. I just want you." Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth, covering it. She seemed to do that a lot.

Wait, did she just say she wanted me? What the fuck? Like in wanted me, wanted me or she just wanted to kill me or something evil like that? Holy hell, when did girls get so damn confusing?

"_Oh my god Edward, when did you get so damn dumb," _Alice grumbled.

"_Get the fuck out of my head," _I said and shut my mind down. I couldn't understand one chick. There was no way I could listen to two at the same time. Alice would have to wait.

"So what the hell are you saying Swan?" I was so fucking confused.

"Why is this so goddamn hard," she hissed. It was almost like she was talking to herself.

She threw her arms in the air and yelled. "Fuck it!"

Before I knew what was happening she crawled into my lap, straddling my thighs. Her hands cupped my face. "Edward, fuck this damn game. Fuck Jessica and fuck the school. I don't give a shit anymore. I just want you," she said the last three words with her mouth pressed against mine. I could feel her lips draw up into a smile. "Do you understand now?"

Did I understand? Who the fuck cares anymore. I plowed my lips into hers and she responded by pushing me backwards. We were now rolling around on the porch trying to see who was in control. Maybe this was a wrestling match?

"Wait," I panted.

"What now," she groaned and propped herself up on her elbows. Her hair was hanging in my face. I spit a strand out of my mouth.

I pushed her back and sat up.

"Are you saying you want to like..." My voice trailed off. What the fuck? I couldn't even ask her if she wanted to sleep with me or if she wanted to date me...Date me? Holy fuck, that was it. I wanted to date her first and then fuck her, er sleep with her. Whatever.

I grabbed her wrists and pulled her up against my body. "Bella." I was fucking panting again.

She grinned at me and moved a lock of hair off my face. "You just called me Bella again."

I smirked. "Huh, I guess I did, Bella."

"Well Edward, what does this mean?"

"Um, this is going to sound really fucking corny, but I want to do this right. I mean we've been doing all this shit ass backwards and so far everything has pretty much sucked. Maybe if we try and do this right, things would go better for us." What the fuck? Did that even make any sense.

"So what you are saying is you want to take me on a date?"

"That's it," I shouted. "Bella would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Uh, okay Edward."

"Really?" I had a silly grin on my face and I sort of squealed. "Bella that's great. We'll start over, take our fucking time. I mean the first day I met you, you grabbed my dick."

She blushed. "Yeah, I almost killed you."

I almost felt like doing a small dance. I stood up and swept her into my arms, twirling her around the porch. Things were right. We were going to go on a date and I was going to do this shit right. I wasn't just going to fuck her and leave her. I wanted to get to know her, to spend time with her and then fuck her brains out, more than once if she lets me.

A few seconds later, Alice came running out and took her away from me. If we were going on a fucking date Alice was going to help her get ready. I didn't realize the date was going to happen tonight. Jesusfuckingchrist, I thought we were going to take things slow.

The date turned out to be dinner in our backyard. Alice went balls to the wall and set up this elaborate fucking menu and table. She went through a lot of fucking trouble for me to move my food around the plate and Bella to pick at hers, but we did have a nice conversation. She really was a pretty cool chick. She dropped a few hints about how she felt about me, but I was taking things slow. When the meal was over, we went for a short walk. I kissed her but kept everything under control. Well, okay not really because I was sporting some nice wood by the time we got back to the house. She was cool about it and didn't say anything. She kissed me again before we went into the house.

"I had a great time, Edward," she smiled sweetly at me.

"Yeah, me too, Bella," I gave her a tight squeeze. I really didn't want to let her go, but we were trying out this dating business. I couldn't remember the last real date I had been on. This was totally new territory for me. "So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Do I need to drive you home or something?"

"Uh, no, I'm staying with Alice remember?"

"Oh right," I mumbled. That fucking sleep over thing.

"Hey Bella, Edward. How was the date," Alice called down from the top of the stairs.

"It was great. Thanks for everything Alice," Bella said. She turned back to me and squeezed my hand. "Thanks Cullen."

"Oh it's back to Cullen again, huh Swan," I chuckled.

She didn't answer me, instead she slid her arms around my waist and hugged me hard. I liked the way she felt pressed up against me. My dick liked the way she felt against me and I swear I heard her groan. Oh god, how was I going to handle this going slow shit.

She let go of me and made her way up the stairs. I tried not to stare at her ass. I chuckled when I heard her whisper to Alice that this slow shit was going to do her in. She didn't know if she was going to survive. Glad to see I wasn't the only one who was suffering and right now, I needed to go end my suffering. Jeez, I was back to flying solo again. It was time to go rub one out and then spend the night staring at the ceiling and try not to think about Bella who was just a few doors away from me.

The night seemed to drag on forever. I was restless. I even considered getting Jasper and Emmett to distract me, but I needed a night away from all their shit. Maybe some music would help pass the time. I shuffled through some mixes on my Ipod before I settled on a playlist. I'm sure the music was going to get me all heated up, but what harm could another go round of self love do to me.

I almost fell out of my chair when the door opened and Bella slipped inside my bedroom.

"Fuck this slow shit," she whispered as she dragged her wet hot tongue up my throat.

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**This has been a long freaking week. Guess what comes next week...O.o.O. a chapter full a lemons. So smack the review button and let me have it. I'll be hiding in the closet with Jasper and that freaking cape. I didn't get enough of him last week. The boy is insatiable. Quick thanks to everyone who reviews, reads, adds this story to their favorites...you guys rock my world. Drizl **


	18. Touching all the Bases

**Howdy sports fans...so...let's just say that if you don't like hawt naughty lemons ya best be moving along cuz this chapter is not just the lemon is the whole lemon tree! So guess that means I'm not S. Meyer because she always closes the bedroom door and doesn't let us see anything...me, I leave it wide open baby. This is why this fic is rated M. **

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**Touching All the Bases **

**Chapter 18**

_"Fuck this slow shit," she whispered as she dragged her wet, hot tongue up my throat._

The words vibrated through my whole body. Well, the words and the fact that Bella was now licking and sucking on my neck.

To say I was a little stunned was a fucking understatement. Bella kinda flip-flopped more than a gymnast. I was surprised I didn't have whiplash or a fucking broken neck.

I hit the stop button on the music playing, because I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. I put a little space between us. The tension in the room hung thick, dripping down the walls like sweet sticky caramel sauce. I was drowning in the shit not knowing what I was supposed to do.

Bella folded her arms across her chest. "Cullen, it's been a long fucking week. I played you and you played me. Now it's time for the game to end. I want...no, fuck it...I **need **to feel you," Bella snarled and stared at the bulge in my pants with hooded, lust-filled eyes.

Good fucking God. Nasty Bella was fucking hot.

This was it. It wasn't going to be pretty or sweet or long lasting. I needed her and it seemed she was feeling the same sort of all-consuming need. It had been a long fucked up week and we both needed some release. Next time, if there was a fucking next time (God, please let there be a fucking next time) if Bella wanted me to, I would be gentle and loving and all that other shit but right now...fuck it...I just needed to fuck her.

She moved away from me and pushed play on my docked Ipod. I sent up a silent prayer, hoping to God that something like _Closer_ by Nine Inch Nails would come blaring out, instead it's Etta James singing _At Last. _

Oh my fucking God, she's gonna think I'm a fucking weirdo, pansy-ass guy for having this song on my playlist. I closed my eyes and waited for her to laugh and then I thought fuck it. I like the damn song and it's kinda prophetic and once again I say a small prayer that we can finally get this shit right and hit the fucking sheets tonight...at last.

She quirks an eyebrow at me and then her eyes narrow.

"C'mere Cullen," she says wiggling her finger at me.

I can barely get the words out of my mouth. "Holy fuck!"

Before I know what's happening she jumps at me, throwing her arms around my neck and clasping her hands behind my head. One of her legs wraps around my waist and her heal pushes into my ass, shoving my ever present hard-on into her thigh. I slide one hand up into her hair, the other cups her sweet ass. I sneak in a quick squeeze and it makes my fucking dick twitch. Our lips meet and I can't fucking help the groan that escapes. She growls and nips at me, catching my bottom lip between her teeth and slowly sucks it into her mouth.

Our tongues are doing some kind of dance, fighting for dominance. She's fucking panting, trying to catch her breath, and I'm dry humping the hell out of her leg, but I don't want to let her go. I'm afraid if I stop kissing her something bad will happen, like the fucking roof of the house will cave in or something just as dramatic.

Seriously, I should have one eye open just is case the shit hits the fan, but I can't think straight. The venom is so thick in my mouth, I'm pretty sure it's dripping down my teeth and running out the side of my mouth. I'm surprised she can't taste it since her tongue is almost touching my tonsils.

If we keep this shit up I'm going to cum in my fucking pants.

"Too many clothes Cullen," she mumbles against my lips.

She yanks on my t-shirt, balling it up in her fist. I have to set her down so I can rip it off. She lets out a gasp when I shred the shirt. She stares for a few seconds and then drags her nails down my chest, making me shiver.

I actually fucking shiver. I think I'm rewriting the annuals of what a vampire can and can't do.

I move my fingers to the hem of her t-shirt. She puts her hands over mine and very slowly we lift the shirt over her head. I watch as it falls to the ground. I'm still waiting for something crappy to happen and it's kinda fucking with my rhythm. I'm usually very good at the foreplay dance but with her I'm a little awkward and shy. Who fucking knew shit like that could happen to me?

Once again, Bella steps in and helps me by lifting my hands up and placing them right on her boobs. I think I may be standing at the gates of heaven as my thumbs trace the lace of her bra. I dip my head down and kiss the swells of her breast. God, I want to plunge my fangs into her skin. Instead I drag my teeth across her flavorful skin, moving away from her boobs and up to her throat.

Okay that may not have been the smartest thing I have ever done, because now my nose is buried in the hollow of her throat and her heart is pounding in my ear. I can actually feel it pumping her glorious blood around her body.

I groan because I can feel where all my blood has collected. Fucking hell these hard-ons are going to kill me.

She whimpers and we collapse on my bed. She arches her back, pressing her chest into mine.

"I need more Cullen." It sounds like she's being strangled.

She can barely speak and I can barely think. We make an awesome pair.

I raise up on my elbows and hover over her, staring into her deep chocolate pools. I can feel myself getting lost in them. She must be fucking hypnotizing me again, but this time I think I like it. I lean down and tease her with a quick flick of my tongue across her lips. She whimpers again and winds her fingers into my hair, frantically pulling me back down to her mouth.

My hands fumble with her bra. Fuck, we must be back on the football field and I suck at holding onto the ball. She giggles and unhooks the clasp which was cleverly hidden in the front. I'm surprised it wasn't on the side like that fucking zipper on that god damn dress.

Fucking Mr. Smooth can't even unhook a bra or unzip a dress. What the hell has happened to me? I never used to be a fumbling idiot when it came to women.

Bella rakes her fingers down my back and pulls me down so I'm laid out on top of her. The feeling of her skin on mine is overwhelming and hot. Really fucking hot. I swear we could start a fire if we rubbed hard enough.

Fuck that sounds like a great idea. Think I'll give it a try.

I start over. Kissing her throat and moving back down to her boobs. Her naked glorious boobs. I kiss the tops, the sides and slide my tongue under the bottom. I kiss every inch only stopping when I come to her nipples. I purse my lips and blow, sending a small gush of air across them. She flinches and moans really loud. I tease her a little more by swirling my tongue around them, just grazing them and watching them harden. She moans some more and yanks on my hair. I'm grunting because let's face it, I'm really fucking turned on and horny. I give in to her demands and take a nipple into my mouth lightly sucking it. Bella starts thrusting against my leg.

I move across to the other nipple, not wanting to neglect any part of her body. I keep my hand on her other breast, softly kneading it. After thoroughly licking every part of her boobs, I decide I'm ready to continue my exploration of Bella's body. I drag my tongue over her ribs which gets me a squeal.

Ticklish Bella. I'll have to remember that particular spot for later but for right now I have one goal and one goal only, I'm going for the motherfucking end zone, god damn home plate, the slam dunk and the hat trick. I think that should cover the four major sports.

Her taut stomach quivers when I dip my tongue into her belly button. I continue down to her hip where I nip and suck on the protruding bone.

"Ooh, fuck, Cullen," she moans. That is all kinds of sexy when she moans out my name. Although I would like to hear my first name. We'll have to work on that shit later.

I slide my hands down her body until they come to rest at the button of her jeans. This is it. The place I have been trying to get at all fucking week. I'm standing at the entrance to the promised land and I'm fucking scared shitless. Would my world come to an end if I popped this button open? Maybe the fucking bed would collapse or fucking Jasper and Emmett would come running in to pelt us with fake teeth. Maybe Carlisle would show up, take a seat and start in with the sex talk again. Well, fuck he could open the condom for us. Or hell, maybe Mrs. Cope would fucking take up a ring side seat. God knows she's been in the front row for most of my shows. I groan out loud.

Bella lets out a loud gasp, yelling impatiently. "Cullen, put your fucking hands on me."

It comes out as an order. "Yes ma'am," I say quickly.

I hold my breath, cross my fucking fingers, do the sign of a cross (yeah, I don't know if that would help a vampire, but I was covering all the fucking bases) and popped the button. I waited for a few seconds, looking over my shoulder just to, ya know, make sure nothing was sneaking up on me, but the coast was clear. I wanted to do a fucking happy dance.

The zipper was next. Faster was better so I closed my eyes and yanked the fucker down. Bella squealed and shimmied her hips so she could wiggle out of her jeans. I pulled her jeans down and she kicked them to the ground.

Memories of the last time Bella had stood in front of me almost naked assaulted my brain. Fuck, the last time I saw her naked she turned green and almost puked in my fucking lap. Okay to be fair, I almost puked on her too.

I studied her face for a minute. This time there was no green tinge to her skin. This time she was looking at me like she wanted to devour me and I certainly had every intention of devouring her. I licked my lips and moved to her thigh, my tongue dipping ever closer to her sex. I could smell her lovely scent and it was slowly driving me crazy.

If the world is gonna fucking cave in on me it's going to happen with me buried in Bella's crotch. I can't take it anymore. I rip her panties off her. She screams and drives her hips up toward me. I get a full burst of her scent. My dick is rock fucking hard and venom is literally dripping down my chin, but I don't give a shit because I'm lost in the ecstasy of her. I run my tongue across my lips and Bella sighs.

I settle in between her thighs and slowly flick my tongue out to take a small taste of her. It's so fucking good I almost cum in my pants again.

Oh, god, I need to stroke my dick. I quickly unbutton my pants and get out of them. Thank fucking god I'm going commando. I then settle for grinding my dick into the mattress. It helps a little.

I dip down into Bella's pussy again but this time I drag my tongue up her sex until I find her clit and suck down. I really taste her. She is dripping sweet nectar and I am now in heaven. I have truly crossed over. My brain is fucking hazy and my eyes have crossed so I'm not really seeing straight.

She's writhing beneath me, pulling my hair. Her nails are digging into my scalp. I moan against her clit and she starts gasping for air.

"What the fuck...ohmy...don't stop...holy hell Cullen...rock my world..."

Eventually I can't understand her wild mutterings. She's grunting and praising the Gods and all sorts of shit and I can't stop myself as I nuzzle my nose into her wetness. Seriously, I've never tasted anyone so good.

Her breathing is coming in short spasms so I slow it down because I know she's close and I want to torture her a little bit. I mean come on. I spent the last week with a fucking boner. I deserve to torture her a little bit.

And then she starts begging. "Please Edward...god damn it...please...so fucking close..."

I suck a little harder on her clit and she screams. I decide to up the ante by sliding one finger into her wetness. Jesus Christ, she's so warm and slick. I start humping the mattress harder looking for more friction.

"That's it...right there...motherfuck Cullen...more...don't stop..."

She's grunting and twisting under me, driving me to the fucking edge. I slip another finger in her, methodically moving them in and out at the same time I'm sucking on her bundle of nerves.

Fuck I want to bite her so bad. The vampire that I am is taking over. He wants to really taste her, to slide those fangs into her hot flesh and taste that sweet blood. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I rub my teeth against her hot wet flesh and slowly, as soft as possible take a quick taste. My fangs slice into the delicate skin and I'm hit with the warmth of her honey sweet taste and the fire of her hot blood.

"Uh...uh...holy shit...Edward...feels so good...whatthefuck...sweet mercy..."

I take another hard suck and she screams out my name.

"Fucking hell, Edward!"

Yeah that's it baby, scream my name!

I feel every single muscle in her whole body tighten up and then I feel her walls clench around my fingers. I'm lost in the sensation of her orgasm and the small taste of her blood that is rushing through me like a fucking forest fire. I can feel her body still shaking as she rides out her high.

My entire body is engulfed in flames. The house must be burning. The bed must be on fire, because I cannot move...at all...so I just keep still and relish the burning. I haven't even fucked her and I'm practically dead.

"Bella..." I gasp. I need to bury my fucking dick in her. I need relief or I'm going to explode. I'm whimpering and grabbing my dick, stroking it hard because I fucking need to cum.

I feel her hand grab mine and still it. I thinks she's reading my fucking mind. She grins, sits up and rolls over on top of me. She reaches down between our legs and grabs my dick. She gives me a couple hard strokes. The English language leaves my brain and I mumble, groan, scream and whimper for her to keep on doing whatever it is she is doing to me.

She raises off me and positions my dick at her wet entrance. I'm fucking shaking and thinking I'm finally going to slide into home plate and end all these motherfucking innings. Slowly almost to the point of making me cry, she slides down my dick. We both let out a long moan. I think it's just plain fucking relief on my part. The roof hasn't dropped down us, the world hasn't stopped spinning and no one is interrupting us.

She gasps when I'm fully buried in her and I'm busy thanking everyone from Jessica for starting this fucking game to Mrs. Cope who told me to ask Bella to the dance. It was fucking worth all the shit I put up with the entire god damn week.

And then I looked up at the most glorious fucking sight I've ever seen, a naked Bella bouncing up and down on my dick. I think I've fucking died. My hands reach out and grab onto her hips so I can find some leverage. I start thrusting up into her and she's grunting and moaning about my dick hitting spots she didn't know existed. I am the motherfucking shit!

"Oh fuck, Bella...that's it baby...yeah, like that..." I'm almost ranting because she's so hot and tight. I feel the burn starting to grow. Fuck I'm having a hard time controlling myself. I want to bite her again. I want to bite here everywhere.

"So close, Edward," she mutters as she leans forward to capture my mouth again. The change in position sends both of us spiraling over the edge. I'm fucking shattered into a million little pieces as my orgasm claims me. Bella collapses on my chest, panting and whimpering.

"Are you okay," I ask.

"Holy hell, Edward," she pants.

"Yeah," I mumble.

She grins against my lips. "Let's do it again."

"Can't get enough of me, huh, Swan?"

She giggles. "I think it's you who can't get enough of me."

"Pfftt, I can take it or leave it."

I'm so fucking lying right now.

"Oh really," she looks at me with an evil glint in her eye. "So if I do this..." she licks my nipple and I moan. "You can just walk away."

"Uh, yep," I manage to grunt out.

"How about if I do..." she runs a trail of kisses down my abdomen and nuzzles her nose in my curls. My dick immediately springs to attention.

I manage another grunt.

"What's that Edward. You want me to leave?" She licks the tip of my dick and then sits up.

And then I'm begging. "You fucking win Swan. I'll do anything...just..."

Before I finish my sentence she eyes me. I'm transfixed by her movements. She licks her finger and drags it up the underside of my dick. I have to bite my lip so I don't fucking scream. She rubs her hands together and lowers her mouth to my dick. She winks at me and licks around the top.

"Oh...holy..." Some other shit comes out of my mouth but I'm not exactly sure what language I'm speaking.

She giggles with my cock in her mouth and I howl like a wolf baying at the moon. She takes more of me in and I start seeing stars. The constellations are fucking dancing around in my head as I feel her wrap her fingers around the base of my dick. Her other hand moves to my balls and she starts rolling them.

I'm fucking fighting with myself not to thrust up into her mouth.

"Oh my God...BELLA...I fucking love...don't stop...ugh...gonna cum baby..." and I try to grab her hair to get her out of the way, but she ignores my feeble attempt and pushes my cock farther into her mouth. My eyes roll to the back of my head. My fists are clenching the sheets and I can't hold it anymore so I let go and shoot my load into her mouth.

"Holy fucking hell," I blurt out because I can't even fucking move.

She fucking giggles again and slides up my body, taking my face in her hands. I lick her bottom lip and I can taste myself on her. Fuck that's hot.

She groans against my mouth and kisses me with a ferocity that almost makes me blush. God I think I love this woman. What? What? Holy fuck. I did not just think that. I chase the love word out of my mind. I'm sure I thought that because the woman just fucked me and blew the shit out of my brains and now she's stroking my dick again. Jeezus, what fucking round are we on? I need one of those chicks to come out carrying a poster with the number written on it. Ah, my dick is getting hard again...and there's the bell.

"Fuck me, Edward," Bella moans into my ear.

Dirty Bella is back again and my dick is aching to get back in her and go another round.

I jump on top of her, nudge her legs apart and drive into her. She screams and lets loose a long line of curses that a fucking sailor would be proud to hear. At first I think I may have hurt her, but she starts thrusting back into me. I pull out and push back into her a few more times, before she wraps her legs around my waist and grinds hard against me.

I bury my face into her neck again. It's so tempting but I already took a bite out of her pussy and I don't want to push it. I'm going to have to tell her the truth about me but right now I just want to feel her wrapped around my dick.

"Holy...so close...touch me...fuck..." she hisses and grabs my hand. I find her bundle of nerves and start making little circles. She bucks against me. I can feel it building again. I'm surprised I have anything left. I felt like Bella fucking sucked me dry during the last round.

I'm starting to get dizzy. A dizzy fucking vampire. Who knew? Vivid colors dance around my eyes as I continue to fuck Bella and rub her clit. She cums undone again and I can feel every throb of her orgasm squeezing against my dick.

"Jeezus, mother, holy shit," I groan as I feel my balls tighten. I do everything possible to prolong the ecstasy. Finally I can't take it anymore and I lose myself in her again.

She's mumbling some shit into my shoulder that I can't understand. We must be inventing a new language.

I moan and roll off her, laying back against the pillows. That was fucking so much better than my self loving.

She fucking snuggles into my arms and sighs contentedly. I think I have a very satisfied woman lying next to me and I'm kind of gloating. I kind of want to open my mind and let everyone sneak a peek at my greatness, especially Jasper, I'd like to give him a good hockey face wash with scenes from my evening. I sigh and it's at that exact moment when I look over at the night stand and see **it. **Every single muscle in my body clenches into a ball. My face goes blank as I try to process what I'm looking at.

Holymotherfuckinghshit.

I sit halfway up and grab at the thing that is taunting me on the nightstand. My fuck, in our haste and fucking passion...I forgot to put on the god damn condom.

My mind starts reeling. I'm a fucking vampire. There's no way in hell I could get Bella pregnant. No there's absolutely no fucking possible way a vampire could get a human pregnant. We only did it once. Okay, so it was more than once, but I couldn't help it. She was so...oh holy fucking hell!

Maybe she's on the pill. Yeah, I bet she's on the pill. A hot chick like her, she's on the pill. Everything is going to be fine Edward. Get a fucking grip. It's not like we've had days and days of unprotected sex. What are the fucking chances that one night of passion would get her knocked up. I'm betting she's on the pill anyway and that thing is like, what, ninety nine percent effective. Just round the fucker up to one hundred. Who the hell are the poor fuckers who fall into that one percent category?

* * *

**O.o.O.**

Hey Jasper, come talk to us for a minute. I missed you this week...

"Yeah Darlin' well I missed you too."

"You're so sweet." Okay I'm giggling.

"Honey, I am not sweet. I'm hot, sexy and always ready to go, but I'm not sweet."

"Okay, not sweet. Um, so, where's the cape?"

"Now we're talking baby. Let's just shut the door and see where I put that cape."

Oh holy hell...

* * *

**Oh god...that was a tough chapter to write. I'm worn out and for some reason I need a smoke...AND I DON'T SMOKE...so here's the deal as far as I can tell the traffic counter at fanfic is still down and I really want to know you were here so just push the leave review button and just say hello (hi is only two letters) or something so I know you were here. Please...I know tell me if you want Bella to be pregnant or if this should just be a false alarm? Either way it's going to scare the piss out of Edward! See ya next week sex kittens and tomcats ( I still don't know if there are any toms reading the story) I'm outta here Drizl**


	19. Let's Get Ready to Rummmble

**Holy hell! This week flew by and before I knew it...it's Friday...So, as usual...I'm not Steph Meyer...cuz my Edward swears and has sex...hehehe...such a durty girl! Since we're already on Chapter 19 I'm sure everyone has figured out this fic is rated M cuz of the hawt lemons and nasty language. Oh, I have to tell you all this. I have a new blog and one Kool Freak-Awesome RAoR Chick made a banner for this little story. So hop on over to the new blog and check out the banner MartaB did for me. teeganloy(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ It's just a great banner! Okay Okay...let's hit the field and see what Edward can fuck up today. :)**

* * *

**Let's Get Ready To Rummmmble**

**Chapter 19**

Pure fucking unadulterated terror was running through my already icy cold veins as I lay in my bed holding onto a sleeping Bella and an unopened condom that's currently balled up in my fist.

I wanted to bang my head up against the wall. I'm sure if I told Jasper and Emmett what had just happened they would happily help me out and give me a good pounding. What the fuck was I thinking?

Well, hello, that was the fucking problem. I wasn't thinking with my brain, I was letting my dick lead me around by a choke collar. God, what if I did get Bella pregnant. I'm not ready to be a father, am I?

With that thought my brain freezes up and I fixate on the ceiling, staring at the missing paint from those fucking bats. Soon I disappear down a long dark hole. I am no longer a vampire on the edge, I have fucking jumped into the god damn canyon and I'm hoping no one will find me in here.

Several hours later, Bella stirs in my arms, waking up slowly. She stretches and snuggles into me. My dick acknowledges her by immediately waking up. I try to think of awful things to reign the fucker in, because right now I can't really think about having sex with Bella again until I find out if she is on the pill or if I'm up the river without a fucking paddle.

Bella is making this no more sex thing incredibly difficult for me because obviously, she can feel my morning wood pushing against her thigh. She squeaks and reaches down to grab my dick, which causes me to moan and thrust my hips into her hand. She starts pumping my cock and I forget about the condom, dropping it to the ground. My head lolls to the side and I think I'm drooling again as Bella's hand works me into a fevered frenzy.

I can feel the familiar burn in my abdomen spreading throughout my entire body. My whole body goes rigid as my impending release nears. Bella suddenly ceases all movement and yes, I whimper because I really want to get off.

"Say my name, baby," she whispers in my ear.

"Oh God, Bella, please don't stop," I pant out and buck my hips into her hand. She smirks at me and gives me a couple strong strokes as I cum hard all over her hand and my stomach.

"Good morning," she smiles and climbs out of bed. "I have to pee."

I can't believe Bella just jerked me off.

I stare as she wraps the sheet around her body and jumps out of bed almost stepping on the unopened condom on her way to the bathroom. I lean over and push the fucking thing under the bed so I didn't have to look at it. I swear I can hear it taunting and teasing me. Is it fucking calling me Daddy?

I have to get my shit together and figure out a way to ask Bella if she's on the pill. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Aren't you supposed to have this discussion before the dick enters the pussy. God I'm so fucking stupid.

I take a couple deep breaths (because everyone knows I need to breathe...fuck) before Bella comes back into my bedroom, sliding back into bed with me. In a few moments, Bella's breathing evens out. I check to make sure she really is sleeping by poking her in the arm a few times. She doesn't move.

Think Cullen.

I got nothing floating around in my brain except nasty thoughts because she's still naked and pressing up against me and obviously my dick doesn't give a shit about my problem because he's rock fucking hard again.

Christ I can't catch a break. I know I spent this past week whining and fucking moaning about not being able to get any and now, when I have a free pass I'm freaking about something that might not even be an issue, but in the back of my mind I understand that it could be a fucking huge issue.

I wait several more minutes and poke her a few more times before I am absolutely satisfied that she is asleep. She mumbles something as I slip out of bed. I can't tell if she just said I fucking love Edward or Fuck you Edward. I decide to ignore her mutterings and grab my boxers and pants.

Maybe she has her pills with her. Aren't you supposed to take them daily? They might be in her purse. Yes, that would be a good place to start. I wonder where she left it? I decided to sneak downstairs and look for it. I keep my fingers crossed that everyone is hunting, having sex or so busy that won't notice me roaming around the house. I'm a little surprised that Alice hasn't come looking for Bella, since this was supposed to be a sleep-over. I'm beginning to think they both planned this shit. Well, except for the part about me not using birth control. What a fucking moron.

I quietly crept out of my room, making sure to gently click the door back in place.

"Hello, darlin' brother," Jasper drawled out.

Fucking hell. I can't catch a break.

"Hey," I grunted at him, brushing by as fast as I can. Jasper had other ideas and grabbed my arm, shoving me up against the wall.

"Did you have a good night? I can fucking smell her all over you, Edward." Jasper grabbed his crotch and leered at me. "**All** over you."

I snorted. "Fuck off."

"Don't think so brother."

I wrangle my arm away from him and head downstairs hoping that he will go away. He's hot on my heels as I go to the kitchen. I spot Bella's purse sitting on the counter.

I decide to change the subject. "Hey Jaz, do we have any? I don't feel like hunting and I could really use a hit before I go back ya know, to her." I roll my eyes, keeping one of them focused on that damn purse.

"Yeah, I think there's some in the basement." Jasper eyes me suspiciously. It's hard to be sneaky in a house full of vampires. I collect a glass from the cupboard and head down to the basement. I find what I'm looking for and fill my glass with a little of the red liquid, downing it quickly.

I trudge back upstairs hoping Jasper has disappeared but he's sitting at the table right next to Bella's purse. Crap. What could I tell him? This is all so much fucking work.

"Well, I'm going back up to Bella. I'll just take her purse so she has it when she wakes up."

I turn my face from Jasper and roll my eyes again because I figure I sound like a total loser vampire who's lying through his fucking fangs.

Jasper gives me a funny look, but doesn't say anything as I pick up the little black purse. Please, please have some sign that Bella is taking birth control. I take a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure Jasper isn't following me before I dive into her purse. I search through every fucking pocket but come up empty handed and she has a lot of shit in that small purse.

Fuck!

Okay, maybe the pills are in her overnight bag but I can't very well go snooping in Alice's bedroom. I also have to remember to keep my thoughts in check when Alice is anywhere near me. I grit my teeth and go back into my room. Bella is still sleeping so I drop her purse on the floor. drop my pants and crawl back in bed with her which is probably not the smartest thing in the world to do, but with Bella, I was anything but smart.

About an hour passes and I'm getting antsy again. I can hear everyone moving around the house. I open my mind and sneak a peek at what is going on. Alice immediately tries to break into my head and snoop around. I shut her down.

Bella stirs again, running her hands all over my chest.

Oh, fuck that feels good and then things go south pretty fast. I'm really trying to behave myself but that was before Bella rolls over on top of me, trapping my dick between my thigh and her already wet sex

Once again I don't give a shit, because obviously my dick is the one in charge.

I need this. What's one more time? Fuck it.

The fucking ring girl comes out with another card. We must be on about round six or is it seven? I don't fucking care when I feel her reach down and position my dick at the gates of heaven again.

She moans and I grunt as I flip us over and start thrusting into her. She grabs my ass and I can feel her fingers digging into my skin. Her scent swirls thick around the room, teasing my taste buds. I can feel her mouth on my shoulder, kissing and licking.

She drags her teeth across my throat. I can't control myself as I push away from her and stare into her eyes. I swallow a shit load of venom so I don't drool on her. Her eyes are hooded and filled with lust.

"I know you want to," she teases and drags her tongue across my lips. "Just do it Cullen. Bite me."

My eyes widen because I know she really doesn't know what she just said. I'm sure she's expecting me to give her a fucking little hickey and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I'm still pumping into her and she's writhing and moaning. I can't focus on anything except her throat and the pleasure she is giving my very happy dick.

"Bite me, Cullen. Show me what sort of vampire you really are," she whimpers.

I make some weird fucking growling noise and bury my nose in her neck, telling myself over and over not to fucking do it. She's not really expecting me to bite her. She's probably making fun of me. I wait for her to pull out some fake teeth, instead the little fucking vixen moves her hair away from her neck and offers her throat up on a silver fucking platter.

Is she fucking kidding me?

That's all it takes. I lick her pulse point and let the venom cover my teeth, dripping down on her throat. My lips drag across the soft skin as the sound of her pulse fills my ears. I can't hear anything except the pounding of her heart. I flip over so she's on top of me and then pull us up into a sitting position. She's now bouncing on my fucking dick and I'm having a real hard time remembering what the hell is going on because it feels really fucking good.

I forget about the blood (I know right. A fucking vamp who forgets about blood) instead I start thinking I should pull out when I feel my release coming but then little miss tease, sinks her teeth into **my** shoulder which makes me fucking cum so hard I feel like my dick might break because she's cuming too and milking me for every last drop.

Fuck, that makes it like three or four times I've spilled my load into her. I'm so fucking doomed.

"Good God Cullen, no wonder Jessica was so pissed you blew her off," Bella said and tossed her head back, showing off her throat to me again.

Fuck, my mouth fills with venom again because I realize I lost a golden opportunity to bite her. Dammit!

Bella climbs off me. "Ugh, I need a shower."

"You go ahead. I can wait," I said.

"My bag is in Alice's room. Do you think you could be a nice guy and bring it to me?"

Well thank fucking God. Something was coming easy for once. Now I could search her bag for those fucking pills. Yes!

"Jeesh, Swan, do you think I like you or something?"

She winked at me. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure about that."

Oh hell.

"Pfft, you fucking wish, baby."

"Just go get the bag, Edward."

God, I liked when she called me Edward.

I pulled on some clothes because I wasn't going to walk naked through the hallway. It would be so nice if I could just get into Alice's room, pick up Bella's bag and not see anyone. Of course, that is not how things work in my life. I tap on Alice's door, slowly opening it. She's sitting on the floor, next to Bella's bag, staring at me.

She smirks at me. "Hello Edward. How was your night?"

I roll my eyes. "You know damn well how my night was."

"Please tell me you didn't fuck it up," she said trying to hide her giggles.

Fucking Alice laughing at me again.

"What the hell does that mean?" I'm starting to panic, because I'm thinking she is going to launch into the fucking sex talk and call me irresponsible and stupid. Jeezus, how am I going to face Carlisle. I'm just going to have to avoid him for a few days or at least until I get my answer about the birth control.

"God, Edward, calm down. I'm just hoping you were a fucking gentleman and all, because I really like Bella and I don't want you to fuck this up."

"Oh, um, yeah, I guess...er, I tried to be a ...shut the fuck up Alice." I looked down at my feet because it seemed like the thing to do. "Bella's taking a shower so she wants her bag."

"Sure, Edward." Alice picked up the bag and tossed it across the room. I caught it and turned to leave.

"You can talk to me about anything you know."

Fuck, does she know? I thought I had my brain closed off from her. LaLaLaLaLa. Quit being so fucking paranoid Cullen, she couldn't possibly know.

"Right, thanks Alice. You'll be the first I come to if I need any advice on satisfying a woman."

"You are such an ass Edward."

"I'm doing the best I can." I fake a cocky-ass laugh and get the hell out of her room.

I rush back to my room with Bella's goody bag. Thankfully, I still hear the shower running so I dive into her little bag. I dump everything out and search through it as best as I can. I have things scattered all over the floor.

I don't even hear fucking Jasper come into the room until he is standing in back of me.

"Whatcha doing Edward?"

"JesusfuckingChrist, quit sneaking up on me." I quickly start shoving Bella's shit back into her bag.

"You didn't answer my question." Jasper said.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I snarl.

"It looks like you are snooping in Bella's shit."

"What, no, it fucking popped open and spilled all over the floor, dumb ass."

"Did you just call me a dumb ass?"

"Yes, Jasper, I did. Now get the fuck out of my room."

He didn't have a chance to answer back because Bella was standing in the doorway of my bathroom with only a towel wrapped around her. I could feel my jeans suddenly get very tight. She grinned at us as I stood up, walking over to her to hand her the bag.

She grabbed my arm, pulling me up to her so she could whisper in my ear. "I wasn't quite ready to get dressed, but since you seem to be hanging with Jasper..."

"Get the fuck out Jasper," I shouted, leaping away from Bella and pushing Jasper out the door before I slammed it in his face.

I made it back to the bathroom before Bella could shut the door.

I pulled her into my arms burying my nose in her damp hair. Fuck, freshly showered Bella smelled mouth-watering.

"You were saying?" I muttered before I captured her lips. She broke the kiss and stared into my eyes. And then dominate Bella took over by shoving me up against the door and attacking me. I ripped the towel off her body as she grabbed for the button on my pants. Soon everything was in a pile on the floor. I grabbed her leg and hooked it around my hip. The action caused her to groan and push harder into me.

"Oh fuck, Edward...take me now. I need you...fuck me baby."

God I loved dirty Bella.

"Uh..." I couldn't remember any more words as I jammed my dick inside her again.

"Holy hell Cullen," she snarled as she dug her fingers into my neck. I turned and slammed her up against the wall, grunting and spewing obscenities as I drove into her.

"Harder, oh fuck Cullen, I'm gonna uh, cum..." And she fucking did. Hard. And then I did. The force of it made me sink down to the floor. We were still connected sitting in a puddle on the floor. She rested her forehead against mine and started laughing.

"God, that was..."

"Yeah, I can't believe we wasted this whole fucking week," I gasped.

Yep, I was panting like a god damn dog again. The things this woman could do to me and then I remembered that once again, I had fucked Bella without a condom. Well shit, I guess what's done is done. I will accept all consequences because that was by far, the best fucking sex I have ever had in my long and illustrious career of fucking.

Bella laughed again and pulled away from me. "I better get dressed. Alice is going to be wondering what the hell is going on. We were going to go shopping today."

"I'm sure Alice has it all figured out," I muttered.

Alice and Bella disappeared for the rest of the day. I took off into the woods and did a little hunting. I should have hunted down some human blood, but animals were less work and definitely less dangerous. Really all I wanted was Bella's blood.

I still was a little freaked about the whole condom thing but I decided to try look on the positive side of things and just believe that Bella was on the pill and I had absolutely nothing to worry about except when I was going to get laid again.

Later that evening Bella came into my room again and we fucked until I was having visions. Unfortunately, it wasn't the visions I would wish for, I was hoping to see stars instead I was surrounded by unopened condoms. Surprisingly enough I still managed to get my nut. Fuck those god damn condoms.

On Sunday morning Bella woke up in my arms again.

"Can I ask you something," she said quietly.

"Sure Swan."

"So when we go back to school tomorrow, I'm wondering ya know, not that it fucking matters, but what the hell am I supposed to tell people?"

"What do you mean," I asked trying to sound all innocent and shit. I knew what she meant, I just felt like fucking with her for a few minutes. I wanted to hear her say the word.

"Well ya know, what are you...I mean to me...what are we," she was stuttering and getting red in the face but I wasn't ready to let her off the hook yet.

"What do you want me to be, Bella," I asked pursing my lips together.

"Well," she eyed me curiously. "Um, boyfriend?" she squeaked.

Fuck, there was the word.

"Girlfriend," I mumbled.

"Okay then, now that we have that cleared up..."

"Wait," I shouted. "Does this mean the fucking game is over?"

"Yeah, no more games, Cullen," she said.

"Oh thank God, I don't fucking think I could handle anymore of that shit. I pretty much sucked at everything." I cannot believe I just admitted that out loud.

"Really, Cullen, I thought you did pretty well."

"Is that a compliment, Swan?"

"I suppose it is," she drawled.

"Wow, does this mean I won the game," I gloated.

"Yeah, no Cullen, you didn't win the game. I don't think anyone actually won the game."

"I think we should say Jasper won. He fucked with me a lot, but please don't tell him I said that. I'd never hear the fucking end of it."

Laughter came from out in the hallway. "Too late Edward, I fucking heard everything you said."

"What the hell Jasper, get the fuck away from my room," I yelled.

God damn fucking Jasper!

We spent the rest of the morning just hanging around the house, watching movies and playing video games. Every once in awhile visions of fucking unused condoms would float through my head, but for the most part, I was able to keep those thought out of my fucking mind.

Bella stood up and stretched her arms over her head. "I need to get home. Alice do you mind if Edward drives me home?"

"Um, no, I'll see you in school tomorrow, Bella." Alice jumped up and gave Bella a hug, whispering something in her ear. They both looked at me and started giggling.

Fucking giggly girls.

I grunted and went upstairs to grab Bella's bag. Huh, I bet I could check out Bella's bathroom when I drop her off. Yeah, I'll offer to carry her bag up to her room and then use her bathroom. I bet her fucking pills are in bathroom.

Alice and Bella had been joined by Rosalie and now they were all fucking laughing. I decided not to think about what ever they were talking about. It was probably safer that I didn't have a clue.

I finally got Bella away from my sisters and into my car.

"What a fucking weekend," she said leaning back in her seat.

"No shit," I mumbled. It had been a fucking weird god damn weekend. I went to a fucking high school dance where I managed to get drunk and eyed by a teacher then I proceeded to puke my guts out and eventually I wound up fucking the hell out of Bella...without a fucking condom.

Quit thinking about that shit!

Bella turned the music up and we both retreated into our heads, remembering this weekend. At lease I hope Bella was remembering the weekend because she had glazed eyes and looked very content. I was hoping I put that look on her face. I was not thinking about the weekend because I was busy planning how I was going to get into her bathroom.

I pulled into her driveway, jumped out of the car and retrieved her bag.

"I'll walk you in," I said.

"Okay, it doesn't look like anyone is home. My dad must be working late again," she sighed. "I hate coming home to an empty house all the time."

She unlocked the door and I followed her in to her house.

"I'll just put this in your bedroom," I said as I ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Bella showed up a few seconds later with a very puzzled look on her face.

"How did you know where my room was?"

Oh fuck!

"Good guess. Plus I figured Charlie wasn't in to purple," I chuckled.

Please believe me. There was no way I could explain that one evening I had climbed up her fucking tree and watched her undress. I'm sure that would score me some high points. Oh yeah and then I fell out of the tree and took my dick out, and then...yeah...Mrs. Fucking Cope showed up and I had to get in to her car with my pants open. I'm sure that story would impress the hell out of Bella.

"Oh, right," Bella said.

I blew out a breath of air. I was back to that breathing shit. Get a fucking grip Edward.

"Uh, can I use your bathroom."

"Sure, go ahead."

I walked in to the room wondering exactly how much time I had. I didn't exactly pay much attention to how long a human stayed in the bathroom to take a piss. Christ.

I shut the door and sped around the small room looking at all the shit Bella had in here. Fuck, how many people shared this space. I had never seen so much crap for one person. Who uses four different kinds of shampoo? Holy hell. I was getting fucking flustered staring at all this shit and I definitely was not seeing any sort of birth control pills.

Okay, I better flush the fucking toilet. I turned the water on, pretending to wash my hands. I peeked in her medicine cabinet, but found nothing.

I was now starting to get incredibly paranoid. Where were those god forsaken pills. Okay, this next week I was going o observe Bella's behavior and see if she was showing any signs of being pregnant. I had no idea what the hell those signs were, so I was going to have to do some research.

I stepped out of the bathroom hoping I didn't take too long. Bella smiled at me, so I must have been in there an appropriate time. Holy hell this was a lot of fucking work.

"Well, I have some homework. I better get home," I said.

"Yeah, me too."

"Uh, I could pick you up for school tomorrow."

"Okay," Bella nodded.

She followed me downstairs. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Should I kiss her or shake her hand. Right Cullen, shake her fucking hand. Once again dominant Bella showed up and shoved me against the wall, crashing her lips to mine.

That works.

"Uh, Bella," I mumbled against her mouth. "I better go, before I can't stop."

"Yeah," she giggled into my mouth, licked my lips and pushed me out the fucking door. I had to quickly yank my shirt down as her dad pulled in to the driveway. No reason he had to witness my boner.

God damn Bella Swan.

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**Well, most of you little evil vixens want me to torture Edward with the pregnancy question...sooo, torture it is. Maybe the burning question of is she or isn't she will be answered next week. Maybe...Muwahahaha! So, tell me what you think...hit that little review button cuz ya know how I lurve the reviews! Oh yeah, and really thanks to everyone who is reading and rec'ing this story. It means a lot that people are actually enjoying this story and please go check out the banner that MartaB made for this story...she is da Bomb, baby! Until next week...I'm outta here...Drizl **


	20. Get Me Out of This Game

**Good day peeps...Do I have to tell ya that I'm not Stephenie Meyer or have ya figured that out already...AND...this is a rated M fic for a very valid reason...okay it's rated M for mulitple reasons...hehehe...Ya know I have never read a fanfic that wasn't rated M...What are they like? Anyways...are ya ready for another chapter of Game on Baby...I hate to say this but we are nearing the end of the game...So, let's hit the field and see if Edward figures anything out...**

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**Get Me Out of This Game**

**Chapter 20**

I jumped into my car before Charlie could get out of his. It had been a long weekend and I didn't feel like talking to Bella's dad, especially since I was once again sporting some impressive wood. I'm sure he was wondering why I brought Bella home and not Alice. Sorry Swan, but you're on your own.

I drove home wishing I could turn around a bring Bella back to my bed or the bathroom door.

Even after I fucked the hell out of the woman she left me wanting more. That wasn't normal for me. I fucking craved her. I had never craved the company of a specific woman in my entire existence, human or vampire. I was normally with women to satisfy my needs, but I wanted to be with Bella. I actually said the girlfriend word to her. At this moment I had a fucking girlfriend.

What the hell?

I wonder what the protocol is for having a girlfriend? Was there a handbook somewhere? This was foreign territory to me. But besides the girlfriend shit I still had one enormous problem. I had fucked this said girlfriend without a god damn condom and I still didn't know if she was on birth control.

There were a few places I hadn't searched, but fuck, I was running out of ideas as to where she would keep those little magic pills. Maybe they were in her locker at school or by her bed. She did have a small night stand with a drawer in her room. Maybe she kept them in there. I felt like I was reaching for straws or looking for pins in haystacks. Who the fuck says that shit? It sounds stupid.

Besides, why would she keep her birth control at school? She did have more than one purse though and a backpack. I would need to search those items.

The more I thought about it, the crazier I was becoming. I mean did I seriously believe I could get a girl pregnant? It's just that why did Carlisle have that fucking sex talk with us? Was he just keeping up a front because he was a doctor and posing as my dad so he figured he needed to keep up the facade in front of Bella. I was so fucking confused. I had always used a condom with the women I slept with because most girls wouldn't fuck you if you didn't have one. Okay that was a lie, I just always used one. I could vamp voodoo anyone into doing almost anything for me,except Bella.

I spent the rest of the day and night looking up shit on pregnant women. Some of that stuff was just fucking gross, but I got a good list of symptoms. In between all the looking up shit, I allowed myself to remember the wonderful fuck-filled weekend and even though I was a fucking wreck, my dick still got hard when I thought of Bella. Yeah, I had to jerk off a few times.

"Edward," Alice's voice snapped me out of my fog. "Time to go pick up your girlfriend."

Right...girlfriend. The word stuck in my throat, but I had promised Bella I'd pick her up for school. This could be a very interesting day. I decided to bypass the family, so I jumped off my balcony and took off in my car before they caught me. Sometimes things work out for me.

Bella was sitting on her steps reading a book when I drove into her driveway.

"Hey, Cullen, you're fucking late." She sounded annoyed, but then she smiled, got in the car and leaned over to kiss me.

"Hello to you too," I mumbled against her lips, breathing in her scent. I could get used to this shit. "You smell wonderful."

Holy crap, I just told her she smelled good. She was going to think I was a total freak.

"Yeah, so do you," she said giggling. "Let's get to school, before we really are late."

The minute we walked into the school I was bombarded with all sorts of crap.

_Is this a joke? She can't really be with him, with him? This must all be part of the master plan..._Master plan? That actually sounded sinister.

_She's setting him up so good. muwahaha..._Okay that was a fucking creepy laugh.

_What a dumb ass. There's no way she really likes him. _Uh, paranoid level is starting to rise.

_She's an evil genius. I think he actually thinks she likes him. _She is fucking evil...sometimes...except when she's sucking me off or pushing me up against the wall so I can fuck her hard.

_I can't believe he's falling for her shit...Damn she's a genius! _Again with the genius shit, but this comment forgot the evil...She is fucking evil...My paranoia level is nearing epic proportions.

My head was drowning in the fucking shit. I looked down at Bella. She was tucked in the crook of my arm with her arm around my waist. Was this fake? It didn't feel fake.

Fuck!

What the hell was going on? Was she fucking with me? Was the game still on? God, she could fuck me up without doing anything. She was an evil genius.

"Edward," she said softly. "What's wrong?" She looked up into my eyes. I tried to get a read on her, but as usual, I got nothing. Fuck, I was not good at feeling around in the dark.

I pasted a crooked grin on my face. "Nothing Swan."

I figured at the moment, it was safer for me to not call her Bella.

A strange look came over her face. She actually looked hurt.

"I have to get to class. I'll see you for lunch," I said before I rushed off down the hall. I didn't look back. I was too freaked out by all the shit that was running through my head.

I'm not sure how I managed to get through my morning classes. Amazingly I found them all and sat in the right seat, pretending I was paying attention the whole time. I was a very dutiful student.

I hadn't bumped into Bella all morning, but the fucking assault on my brain and my ego continued the entire morning. By lunch time I was a fucking paranoid mess. I kept running through our entire weekend, searching for any clue that Bella had been leading me on. I just couldn't find anything. Maybe she was an evil genius and I was a fucking idiot.

I mindlessly made my way through the lunch line, filling up my tray with food that smelled and looked like shit. What I wouldn't give for a fresh blood cocktail and where the fuck was Bella? God my nerves were shot to hell.

Better add that too the ever growing list of weird afflictions for me. A nervous vampire. What next?

"Brother," Jasper said easing into line beside me. "You seem a little tense."

Some of the kids in back were muttering about Jasper cutting. He turned to address them. "You can't all be fucking serious about really wanting this crappy food. It's worse than shit on a shingle."

More grumblings from the masses. "Shut the fuck up Jasper. I don't need this crap right now."

"What's got your boxers in a knot?"

"Nothing," I snapped.

Bella finally showed up and whipped through the lunch line, filling her tray with food. Hmmm, I wonder why she was so hungry today. I mean usually she ate very little, but today she seemed ravenous.

"Holy shit!" I thought I said it to myself but apparently I said it out loud.

"Who the fuck are you talking to Edward. If you're going to freak out please do it at another table."

"Fuck you, Rosalie."

Jasper laughed. "Yeah Rosalie. Our poor Edward is a little stressed, so cut him a break.

"Fuck you too, Jasper . You have done nothing to help me out of the shit."

"I like watching you lose your shit," he drawled.

"You really do suck, ya know that Jasper." I growled just because it sounded cool and it let him know I was totally irritated with the him.

Bella plunked her tray down in front of me and I nearly gagged.

"Holy shit Swan, are you sampling everything on the lunch menu?"

"Ugh, for some reason I'm really hungry today," she laughed and took a huge bite off a piece of pizza. I had to stifle a cough.

I pushed my tray aside and reached into my backpack, discreetly dragging out a small notebook. I glanced at the small list I had made and sure as shit, increased appetite was a fucking symptom of pregnancy. I felt a little faint.

I slid the note book back into my bag and stared as Bella noshed on a second piece of pizza.

"Edward, you don't look so good," she whispered.

"I'm fine," I snapped. "Uh, sorry, I just have a lot of school stuff on my mind."

Alice snorted and I almost launched a book at her head.

God damn Alice.

"C'mon Cullen, we better get moving if we want to make it to Biology on time. Hot topic today you know," Bella snickered.

"Huh, what hot topic," I stuttered.

"I swear, you don't pay attention to anything. We start studying human reproduction today."

"What!" I shouted so loud the entire cafeteria looked at me. "Fuck that shit, I'm skipping!"

"Mr. Cullen," I turned at the sound of my name and ran right into Mrs. Cope. Someone please stake me now...use a rusty fork or a twig from a tree, just fucking kill me.

"Uh, yes Mrs. Cope?"

"Did I just hear you say you wanted to skip biology because the class would be discussing sex."

I swear to god, if she keeps talking my fucking ears were going to start bleeding.

"Walk with me Mr. Cullen." Bella was trying really hard not to burst out laughing. I was silently pleading with anyone to help me out. _Fucking hell, Alice please..._

Alice chose to ignore my pleas, so I was forced to exit the cafeteria with Mrs. Shelly Cope talking about sex.

"Edward, I know high school can be a very trying time in one's life. You are all finding your way through life by experimenting with a lot of new things. And I know the pressure to have sex is overwhelming."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper and Emmett follow us out and then they started relaying everything Mrs. Cope was telling me to the entire student body. Fuck, who needs enemies when I have Jasper and Emmett. They were fucking howling like wolves.

She droned on about love and commitment and of course, the importance of birth control. It was then that I went into zombie mode and stopped listening to her. What the hell was it with people and talking to me about sex? Didn't they think I knew anything?

"Oh look, this is my classroom," I said.

"Edward, please feel free to stop by my office anytime if you have any questions about anything." Mrs. Cope said, patting me on the shoulder.

Oh here I have a good question, could you please jam an ice pick in my ear so I can't remember any of this conversation.

"Uh, sure, Mrs. Cope, thanks."

I could hear her mumbling about my less the virginal image. Well, at least she doesn't think I'm a fucking virgin.

Biology was quickly becoming the bane of my existence. This is where the game started. This is where I tasted Bella's blood for the first time and this is where I was going to die of embarrassment. Maybe I should change the lesson plan.

Fuck it. I was Edward Cullen and I could handle a little sex talk.

Students started filing in and before I could close my mind off, I was hit with more musings from the student body.

_God that Cullen...I wonder if Bella had Mrs. Cope give him the sex talk. That was some funny shit. _Serious? There's no way she planned that! Er, right?

_Fucking Cullen. _Oh good one Newton. Fuck you too.

_Let's talk about sex baby...Let's talk about you and me...Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things..._Salt N Pepa? Christ, Yorkie...get a life.

I closed off the voices when Bella walked into the room.

She slid into her seat and moved her chair closer to me. I felt her hand squeeze my thigh as she worked her way up. Her fingers danced across my dick. I didn't think I could handle this again, but she quickly removed her hand when Mr. Banner walked into the classroom. I was actually relieved.

Mr. Banner got right into the heat of the matter but he picked sexual diseases to start with today. I think most of the students were hoping for a porno or something. Human disease was pretty fucking gross. I was very thankful to be a vampire today.

I glanced over at Bella. Her face was pinched up and she looked really pale. Was that a green tinge on her skin? I'd seen that look before. Bella was going to fucking puke again. Holy shit!

She slapped her hand over her mouth, bolting out of the classroom.

"Cullen, go find out what happened to Miss Swan," Mr. Banner called across the room.

"Uh, okay, but I think she's in the bathroom um, getting sick."

"Fine take Angela with you," he stated.

Angela raised her eyebrows at me as we walked out of the classroom.

"What?"

"You okay, Edward? You seem a little tense?"

"I'm fine and why would you care. Aren't you cheering for her too."

"I'm not cheering for anyone, unless of course, you are just messing with Bella."

I turned my head and stared at her. "What do you mean messing with her?"

She rolled her eyes. "She really likes you and I don't want to see her hurt."

"Oh," I lowered my head. "I'm not messing with her, she's my uh, girlfriend."

She squealed. "Really?"

"Yeah, "I said. We stopped in front of the girl's bathroom. I could hear Bella groaning. "You better go see if she's okay."

Angela reached for my hand and gave it a small squeeze. It threw me off guard. Girls were never friendly with me unless they wanted something, but Angela had no ulterior motives. Her mind was pure. Jeez, women were so unpredictable. Bella moaned again.

I didn't have to refer back to my notes about pregnancy symptoms to know that barfing was on the list. I think morning sickness was number one. Wait, it's not morning anymore. I wonder if that matters? Does morning sickness have to come in the morning? Well, why the hell would they call it morning sickness if it happened in the afternoon? I was gonna have to look that shit up.

I leaned against the wall. God damn morning, afternoon, evening sickness.

"Mr. Cullen?"

Oh god, please no...

"Mrs. Cope."

"What are you doing lurking around the girls bathroom."

I snorted. "I'm not lurking. Bella got sick in class. Mr. Banner sent me and Angela out to make sure she was okay."

She narrowed her eyes at me. I don't think she believed me. Thankfully, the bell rang and kids started pouring out into the hallway. Mrs. Cope threw her hands up and walked away from me.

Angela came out of the bathroom with Bella leaning against her. Bella was definitely green.

"Cullen, get me the hell out of here," she panted out.

"Uh, okay." Angela handed Bella off to me.

"I'll pick up your backpacks and give them to Alice or one of your brothers," Angela said.

"Oh God," Bella moaned and leaned into me. I put my arm around her and started dragging her down the hall. "I'm not gonna make it." She jumped away from me and ran into another bathroom. At this rate we were never going to get out of the school. I leaned up against the wall again only to have Mrs. Cope come out of the office.

"What is it this time Mr. Cullen."

"Same as before. Bella's puking in the bathroom. I think she has a virus." Either that or she's fucking pregnant! Maybe I should shout that in her face and see what she says. She'd probably describe all the steps of labor. I shuddered at the thought.

We both jumped when a very green and disheveled Bella limped out of the bathroom. Her head snapped up when she saw Mrs. Cope. Apparently she was well enough to summon a horrible hairy eyeball glare. Mrs. Cope squeaked and disappeared down the hallway.

"That woman has the hots for you," Bella growled.

Possessive Bella was fucking hot, even if she looked like shit.

I managed to get Bella home without her puking in my car. I had to help her out of the car. We stumbled around for a few steps. Finally, I just gave up and swept her off her feet, carrying her up to her room.

"OhmyGod, Cullen, I'm so sorry," she groaned.

"Sorry, you don't have anything to be sorry for...I just hope you feel better tomorrow," I said trying to be all sweet and shit.

I set her down, helping her find her balance. Her hand went to her mouth again and she staggered into her bathroom, slamming the door.

Now what was I supposed to do? Should I go home or stay here and take care of her? I didn't know how to take care of a sick human. Maybe I should call Carlisle...was I fucking nuts. He would just ask tons of questions and I right now I didn't have any answers. Hey, I'm standing in Bella's room...alone...

I dashed over to her nightstand, ripped the drawer open and searched through all the contents. No little pills.

Damn!

I was so fucked.

Bella had been quiet for several minutes, so I tapped on the bathroom door. "Um, Bella...are you okay?"

"Oooohh," she moaned. "You can go home, Cullen, I'll call you later."

"Are you sure?"

"You can't do anything for me, but thanks for getting me home."

"Bella..."

"Go home Edward...I'll be fine."

I sure could use that girlfriend handbook right about now. Did she really want me to go home or was she just telling me what I wanted to hear and I really should be staying here taking care of her. Jeez, having a girlfriend was hard work.

I finally decided to go home and wait for Bella to call me. I waited the whole night. My phone never rang or buzzed or anything. I checked it several times to make sure the battery was in full working order. It was...

Worry flooded my body and suddenly the idea that Bella could maybe be pregnant paled in comparison to the idea that she was sick. I didn't know what to do. My mind wanted to dash over to her house and find out if she was okay. My heart wanted to hold her and make sure she would be okay. My heart? When did that part of me get involved with Bella? I was a vampire and we didn't have hearts.

I started to pace around my room. I wasn't going to make it through school without knowing why she hadn't called me. I decided to man up and call her.

Someone moaned on the other end.

"Bella?"

"Yeah...Edward...what time is it?"

"Uh, it's time to go to school. You didn't call me last night. I was worried."

"You were worried? Really?"

"Uh yeah, Bella really, you were pretty sick in school."

"Oh god," She moaned. "I still feel like shit. Could you just bring my homework for me."

"Uh, okay. I'll see you after school." The line was silent. "Bella are you sure you're going to be okay."

"Yeah, it's probably the stomach flu or something."

"Yeah the stomach flu or something else..." I muttered.

I crossed my fingers and said a silent prayer hoping that it really was the stomach flu.

School sucked. I was bombarded with shit from the other kids and I think I missed Bella. Damn it. I don't know how I made it through the day without killing someone. After the bell rang I went to Bella's teachers and gathered up her homework. I was actually excited to see Bella, but fucking Charlie was home and cut me off at the pass, saying that Bella was still not feeling up for visitors.

Charlie glared at me and pushed me out the door. He didn't even thank me for bringing Bella's homework to her. Fucking cockblocking Charlie.

When I got home, Jasper and Emmett tried to get me to go hunting but I wasn't in the mood. I was too worried about Bella. This worrying shit sucks.

"Edward, we will let it slide today, but tomorrow you are going hunting," Emmett growled at me.

I flipped them off and disappeared into my room. Several hours later I got a text from Bella telling me she wouldn't be in school tomorrow. She still didn't feel well enough.

Holy fuck. She must really be sick.

I couldn't take the not knowing. I had to see her. It was dark and raining out but I didn't give a shit. I was going to check on Bella and nothing was going to stop me. I jumped out of my balcony and headed over to Bella's house. There was very few lights on in the house. Charlie was downstairs watching some ballgame. I didn't think he would let me into her room so I opted for the tree again.

Yep, I was back to being a peeping tom. Fuck me. The things I do for my girlfriend.

When I was situated in the tree, I realized I couldn't see anything. Her curtains were closed. Dammit. I had a few choices. I could go home, which was probably the smartest thing. I could text Bella which wouldn't be a bad option or I could jump over to her window, hang from the ledge and see if the window was open. Oh yeah, that's a good one. With my luck a neighbor would look out, see some guy hanging from the police chief's daughter's window. Next thing you know the swat team would be shooting me down and I would have to explain why I didn't die from the fall or being riddled by bullets.

I decided not to do anything really stupid. I sent her a text. Turns out that was stupid too. My phone started ringing and before I knew it, I answered it and Bella was suddenly peering out her window at me. Fucking busted.

"Um Edward, what are you doing in my tree?"

"Well, I needed to see you. To make sure you were okay, ya know." This was really fucking weird because we were still talking on the phone but she had the window open. I hung up and stared at her.

"How in the hell did you get up in this tree?"

"Um, it was the only way I could see you. I figured Charlie wouldn't let me in the house."

"Yeah, I know that but I'm just saying this tree is really high."

"Oh, I'm a good climber."

Holy shit. I sounded like a total douche.

"Um, how are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess...I'm not coming to school tomorrow. Charlie's all freaking paranoid. He wants to make sure I'm fully recovered"

Charlie isn't the only one who is paranoid.

"Edward, it's really late and I'm tired. It was really sweet of you to come over but I need to go to sleep. I'd ask you to come in, but I don't want you to get sick."

"Okay, um I'll talk to you later okay Bella," I said sounding very morose.

Bella didn't come back to school the whole week and I was a fucking mess. I hadn't eaten and my family was worried I was going to haul off and bite everyone who dared utter a word to me.

When the final class was dismissed on Friday, Jasper grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the school.

"Fucking hell, Edward, we are going hunting. You need to eat and then Carlisle wants to talk to you."

"Great, just fucking great," I mumbled as I allowed Jasper to man handle me. He shoved me into the car and we took off. A few minutes later we were running through the woods chasing after a mountain lion. After the mountain lion and several deer I actually felt better, but there was no way I would admit that to Emmett or Jasper.

We went back home and I grumbled all the way back. Jasper ignored me and sang some god-awful song about being in love.

"Remember Edward, Carlisle wants to see you." Jasper reminded me.

Right. I was going to avoid that conversation at all costs.

The minute I came into the house Carlisle cornered me, dragging me into his office.

So much for avoiding him.

"Alright Edward, spill it. You have been driving everyone in this entire house crazy for the past week. What is going on with you?"

"Nothing," I snapped.

Carlisle glared at me.

"Edward does this have something to with Bella?"

"Er...maybe...sorta..."

Carlisle crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Fine...yes...I don't know for sure, but...shit..." I was stuttering and stammering like a damn fool. " Bella may be pregnant."

"And..." Carlisle looked a bit confused. I thought he would be a little freaked by the news that I may have impregnated a human girl.

"What do you mean and...I er, had unprotected sex with her and now she's showing some of the signs of ya know...being knocked up."

"Oh my God, Edward, you actually think she could be pregnant by you?" Carlisle laughed.

Well fuck, now he's laughing at me too.

"Well, you made a big deal with that fucking safe sex talk shit and I got paranoid."

"For chrissakes, Son, you are a vampire, we don't procreate unless biting is involved. I just did that for Bella's benefit. I want her to at least think we are responsible humans."

"Oh," I said feeling like a total ass. How do I get myself in these fucked up messes?

Carlisle was trying to act all professional but I could see he really wanted to laugh in my fucking face.

"Son, there have been some very rare instances of human vamp pregnancies but most humans would not survive. We Cullens are a rare breed because we can drink from a human without killing them or turning them. It's very hard to learn how to control blood lust and really, Son, most vampires don't want to have sex with a human. Sex with vampires is much better."

"So, Bella's probably not pregnant...then..."

"Well not by you..."

"What? What does that mean? Not by me? Do you know something Carlisle?" I was screaming at the poor guy.

Who else could it be...OhmyfuckinGod...was she fucking cheating on me?

"Edward calm down. You need to talk to the girl. Do you even know for sure she is pregnant? I mean how long have you known Bella...a couple weeks?"

Talk...yes that's a good idea...talking or maybe yelling...there definitely will be yelling if she is knocked up...

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**Holy hell that was tough to write...This weekly update may just kill me...bahahaha...groan...I just want to take a minute and say thanks to everyone who is reading this story. I really am blown away by all the support. When I started this journey into fanfic, I needed to see if people actually liked the way I write and craft a story. Agents in the "Real" writing world were driving me nuts. Yeah, you guessed it, I'm trying to be a "Real" writer (whateverthefuckthatmeans) and all the rejections were starting to wear on me...so to everyone from the lurkers, to the people who leave comments, to people who rec the story and favorite it...THANK YOU! I am truly honored and humbled that you take time out of your life to read my story...Now, send Jasper over to me...I need some luvin' and Edward is too freaked out by recent events to get anything going...snicker...And I'm outta here...til next week then...Drizl **


	21. Put That in Your Trophy Case

**Is it Friday already? Damn right baby and I'm really freaked up right now cuz later tonight I will be all glammed up watching Adam Lambert. Um, yeah I know...you don't care...okay,guess what I'm not S. Meyer...just borrowing her vamps for a little fun...I'm not gonna tell ya this is a rated M fiction cuz you already know it...So lace up your skates and let's hit the ice (Congrats Chicago Blackhawks on winning the cup) **

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**Put that in your Trophy Case**

**Chapter 21**

"Edward, where are you going?" Carlisle asked. I could tell he still wanted to laugh in my face for actually believing I could get Bella pregnant.

"To see Bella."

I dashed out of Carlisle's office before he could say anything else. I don't think I could handle anymore from him. Fuck, between the fake sex talk and now this information...jeez...I needed answers and I needed them know or I was going to loose my fucking shit. I knew Bella was feeling better so I was going to see her and get this crap out in the open.

God damn Bella Swan. God damn Carlisle. Just...fuckin'A...God damn everyone.

I ran out of the house and breezed past Emmett and Jasper before they could say anything to me. I heard them yelling and laughing at me as I got in my car. I closed off my mind so I wouldn't have to listen to them, flipping them the bird as I sped out of the driveway.

How could this have happened? Bella Swan had managed to freak out my entire existence in less than a month. I was Edward Cullen, one hundred seven year old, hot as fuck vampire, and I was allowing an eighteen year old human girl to destroy me. Well, not anymore! I slammed my fist against the steering wheel of my car and took off for Bella's house. We were going to settle this shit. No more fucking games. I wanted answers. Hell, I needed answers or I was going to lose my fucking mind.

Had she cheated on me? Wait, how could I think she cheated on me, it had only been a week since I said the girlfriend word and before that well, hell she hadn't even been in town very long. It's not like she knew me before she came to Forks and I don't think she had been living as a sequestered nun.

Thinking about this shit was doing nothing for me except pissing me off. What did it matter to me? Of course she would have had boyfriends before me. What the hell was wrong with me?

I had to slam the brakes on because I was so busy arguing with myself that I almost sailed past her house. Fuck I needed to get this anger under control. Bella would probably think I had gone totally mental if I fucking screamed in her face about past boyfriends. I guess I didn't like the idea of sharing Bella. We would have to discuss exclusivity.

The thought made me gasp. Was I ready to date only her? And what if she asked about my past girlfriends? Well, that was easy, I'd never had one. I know it's a technicality, but really I wouldn't be lying. Good grief what if she fucking asked about my past sex partners. My list would fucking bury her alive.

Fuck it. The past is the past. Nothing I can do to change it. Stick with the current issues. Is Bella pregnant? Yes, I needed to find that out first.

I stepped out of my car and saw Bella sitting on a lawn chair in her front yard enjoying the...erm, cloudy day. She laid the book she was reading in her lap when she saw me and waved. A smile slowly spread across her face. Echoes of the voices from the past week still haunted me. Was this still a game? Was she just screwing with me and really how does one ask a chick if she's on birth control or worse, so, baby did you fuck around before we hooked up? And, if so, are you knocked up?

"Hey Edward," she said shyly.

What was with this cute shy shit? It was going straight to my fucking dick.

"Hi Bella, you look a lot better, not so green."

"You think?" She lowered her head, staring at the ground. "I'm sorry about that...pretty embarrassing that I puked so much."

"Are ya done with that shit," I asked.

"God, I hope so. I haven't barfed in two days," she said proudly.

I grinned like an idiot. That had to mean something...right? Maybe I should just ask the question right now.

"Uh, Bella...I er, was wondering..."

"I really missed you Cullen," she said softly.

She sounded sincere and she looked so hot. The questions could wait. "Um, I missed you too, Swan."

Fuuh...uck, did I just say that? I swear I've never missed anyone in my entire life. This conversation was totally foreign to me, but a lot of the talks I have with Bella are weird and new to me. Maybe I'm growing as a, um, person...no vampire. A culturally and emotionally well-rounded vampire.

Oh my God, I'm turning into a freak or maybe that is what a real boyfriend is like. I have no fucking clue since I've never actually had a girlfriend. I'm still waiting for the instruction booklet to show up. I should check the mailbox when I get home or maybe ask Jasper if he snagged my copy.

She rose up from her chair and I couldn't help myself. I needed to close the distance. It had been a long, excruciating, fucking week away from her and I ached to touch her.

I wrapped her up in my arms, burying my nose in her hair. I didn't even care that venom filled my mouth when her scent enveloped me. I felt like I was home, so I fucking sighed again. Damn, that sighing shit was turning into an annoying habit when Bella was close to me.

Her hands followed the line of my shoulder blades, down my spine. Now it was her turn to sigh into my chest. She slipped her hands under the hem of my t-shirt. Her touch was soft, yet it burned my cool skin. Fuck it felt good.

Her lips met mine and I wanted to consume her. I forgot why I was here in the first place and I didn't really fucking care anymore as my tongue slipped into her mouth.

I grabbed her hips and shoved myself into her. She groaned, throwing her head back. God why does she always expose her throat to me. I want to bite her so fucking bad I can hardly fight the feeling. I give her neck a long, languid lick. She shudders and once again, my dick is painfully hard, my mouth is overflowing with venom and I'm fucking standing outside in Bella's front yard dry humping the shit out of her.

Suddenly I feel a warmth on my skin that wasn't there before. At first I think I'm overheated because Bella's hand has found it's way to my engorged dick and she's rubbing me through my jeans, but then she stops and pulls away from me. Her brow furrows and she cocks her head at me, blinking furiously. Her hand moves to her forehead and she shades her eyes. She continues to gawk at me.

"Oh holy fucking shit," I shout and make a mad dash for her house. I get tangled up in that fucking lawn chair and almost fall on my face. I pick it up and toss it across the yard. I jump up her steps, almost ripping the door off its hinges as I duck inside. Bella is still standing in the front yard with her mouth hanging wide open. She may even have a string of drool hanging from her lower lip. I can't really tell though, because the fucking sun is in my eyes.

Good fucking God...maybe she didn't notice anything or maybe I blinded her with my dancing sparkles.

What the hell was I going to tell her? Uh, Bella I like glitter and right before I came over here I sprayed my entire body with a bottle of Shimmer. I wonder if they make a product like that? Oh fucking good Cullen, who the fuck cares if they make something called Shimmer. She's not going to believe you anyway.

"JesusfuckingChrist," I mumble as I pace around the room wondering if Bella is ever going to come inside. The problems just seem to be mulitplying. I have no control over anything anymore

I sit down on her couch and bury my head in my hands. I am so fucking screwed.

I hear the squeak of the front door as she pulls it open. I almost consider bolting, but I really didn't know where to go.

"Erm, Edward?" She was standing in front of me with a sort of confused, goofy look on her face. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

"Oh, hey, I thought I'd come in. I think there's a game on TV or something..." I let my voice trail off because I know I sound like a complete fool, but what the hell am I supposed to tell her. Maybe she won't bring it up. I pretend to be searching for the TV remote in the couch cushions.

"Edward, what the fuck was that?"

Play dumb.

"What was what Bella?"

"You looked like a disco ball when the sun hit your skin."

Shit, she definitely noticed the sparklies.

"I have a skin disease." It came out of my mouth before I could put the filter in place.

She snorted. "What? Fuck you, Edward, you are so full of shit. There is no disease that makes you look like a Vegas show girl who fell into a vat of glitter when the sun hits your skin."

"Um...maybe I should go." I stood up but Bella had other ideas. She shoved against my chest and made me sit back down. Okay, I could have walked over her, but I wanted to know why she wasn't running in the opposite direction.

She plopped down next to me, resting her leg against mine. I was in awe that she wasn't afraid to touch me. I mean for all she knew that shit could rub off.

"Okay, Edward, fuck this shit. I know we haven't exactly had the most normal relationship." She took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't even know if I can call what's going on between us a relationship, but I fucking like you Cullen, so if something is wrong or whatever...you can tell me anything."

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea Bella."

"This whole thing hasn't been a good idea. You are fucking weird Cullen and I don't know why, but for some reason I can't stay away from you. This past week sucked. I really did miss you." Bella threw up her hands and slammed her back against the couch, sinking down into the cushions and crossing her arms over her chest. Was she pouting? Whatever it was, it was kind of hot and made my dick twitch.

She turned, staring at me. "C'mon Edward, why did your skin twinkle when the sun hit it?"

"Twinkle? Well that's an interesting word."

"I have a lot of other fun words for you. Ya wanna play Cullen?"

"Nope, I'm good," I said and snapped my mouth shut. I didn't want to hear any of her theories. The last time I listened to her ideas she told me everyone thought I was a fucking fake vampire. Maybe she thought I was a werewolf. Fuck, that's just gross.

"Ooh, Cullen, is this a challenge. I bet I can make you talk," she hissed in my ear.

"Whatever Swan," I answered, turning my head from her.

"That's it Cullen, game on baby," she grunted and in one smooth motion she had straddled my lap.

"Give it your all, Swan. I'm not cracking." I narrowed my eyes at her and set my jaw. Besides, I was pretty sure the truth would send her running.

She giggled, a really scary maniacal laugh that sent icy waves of anticipation, or maybe it was fear, coursing down my spine. I was back in some fucking stupid ass game again. I was going to get my balls handed to me on a fucking platter.

Bella leaned in really close, brushing her lips against my ear and whispering. "It's your choice Cullen, tell me why you are Mr. Sparkle or I'll force it out of you."

She puffed out a breath of air. It washed over my neck, across my cheek and right up my fucking nose. My cock came to life and my blood lust awoke with a fucking roar. I could feel cracks forming in my willpower.

"Is that all you got Swan?" I croaked out.

I should have kept my fucking mouth shut.

"Oh, no Cullen, I'm just getting started." She breathed across me again. All the hairs on my entire body stood up. She moved seductively, slowly. Her hands caressed my shirt covered chest, stopping to pinch each nipple until they pebbled under her touch. She licked her lips and dipped her head down to my throat, placing soft kisses and small bites on my neck. I felt like I was going to burst into flames.

"You ready to talk yet, Cullen," she hissed.

My throat felt like it was closing. "Uh, no," I said in a falsetto voice. Oh great, that sounded convincing.

She shifted her weight on my lap, pushing her center down on my aching cock.

"How you doing now, Cullen? You seem a little worked up."

All I could do was moan and thrust my hips up into her, but the little tease rose up on her knees so the friction I so desired and needed was now hanging above me out of my reach.

"Not so fast baby," she growled. "I need some answers before I let you have it."

Answers to questions...didn't I have some questions that needed to be answered? At the moment I couldn't remember what the fuck they were?

"Still not talking...well, let's see what we can do about that Mr. Sparkle."

She kept her weight off me, hovering just far enough above me to drive me insane. Her fingers went to the hem of my t- shirt, pushing it up around my neck to expose my chest. She leaned over, still not letting her body touch me and sucked a nipple into her mouth, making me moan. She released it and did the same to my other nipple. Fuck, I needed her to touch my dick.

I tried to go for her boobs but she blocked me with her arm, pulled away from me and shook her head.

"No, no Mr. Sparkle...not unless you come clean." Bella shook her finger at me and slid off my lap to the floor. She was kneeling in between my legs. My dick was straining to get a better look.

"Aww, Cullen you seem to be very uncomfortable. Maybe if I loosen this button for you. Would you like that?"

"Uh huh." I squeaked. Fuck I actually squeaked like a teenage girl.

She looked up at me with her lust-filled eyes and slowly popped the button. "Oh, maybe this zipper needs to come down too. Would that be okay?"

Jesus, I was going to die. I nodded yes as fast as I could. She slowly and painfully lowered the zipper. At least my cock could breath for a few seconds.

She gave me an evil little grin. "You really look uncomfortable Edward. Tell me what I want to know and I'll take care of your big problem."

She grabbed my hand and wrapped her lips around my finger. I could feel her tongue swirling around it. She sucked harder, dragging her teeth up my finger as she took it out of her mouth.

"Fuck Swan, feels so...good."

"C'mon Cullen, I know you want me," she said. She gave me a small smile and started unbuttoning her little white blouse. The blouse slid down over her shoulders and down her arms, landing at my feet. She was wearing a lacy see-through bra. She inched forward, rubbing her boobs on my chest as she made her way back up to my lips. I watched her nipples harden.

She was slowly driving me nuts. And then she upped the ante, but crushing her body against mine. Her lips slammed into mine as she drove her tongue into my mouth.

Holyfuckingshit. Bella pressed down on my dick and started moving back and forth. She was grunting or was that me? Fuck, I was gonna fucking jizz in my boxers, but then she stopped and slid off me again. My mind went back to that first day in Biology. Fuck she was going to do it again. She was going push me out on the ledge and then fucking leave me hanging.

I opened my eyes when I felt Bella tugging on my boxers. Holy hell she wasn't stopping. God, I fucking loved this girl. I wanted her. My entire body and mind were being consumed by her. My lust was taking over my brain. I would tell her anything she wanted to know. I was ready to spill my guts for her. The woman should be a fucking secret agent. She could coerce the secrets out of anyone.

My boxers found their way down to my knees. She tilted her head, staring up at me. She shoved her finger in her mouth and I watched with glazed eyes as her pink tongue slid out of her mouth, coating her finger with moisture. My cock was aching.

"Say it Edward. What are you?" She ran her finger around the head of my dick. It was too much. I was surrendering, throwing in the white towel. She could do whatever she wanted with me.

"Fine. I can't take this, Swan. I'm a fucking vampire and I fucking love you and I wanna fucking marry you!"

Bella froze. I froze. Time stopped.

Did I just say all that shit out loud? Those were not the things I came here to say. Good fucking grief, please let it have been in my head. I'm pretty sure I just lost the game.

"Uh, could we take those declarations one at a time," Bella stuttered.

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**Snort...Mr. Sparkle...I can't figure out my brain...this shit just comes out of left field...Can I tell everyone thanks again for reading..you guys are the bomb...you all make this ride even more enjoyable...almost better than thinking about being between Mr. Sparkle's legs staring at the holy peen...notice I said almost...hope you enjoyed this chapter brought to you by our own Mr. Sparkle...he could put a smile on anyone's face...Oh, and let me know you were here with a review cuz as far as I can tell my fanfic counter is on the freakin' fritz again...sigh...Until next week...I'm outta here...Drizl **


	22. A Whole New Game

**Oh my effing God. I lost my funny and I didn't think I would get this chapter up...It's a little rambly but both Bella and Edward are a little confused, paranoid and well, they don't know what to say to each other. This week I wish I was S. Meyer cuz writing really sucked add, but we all know she wouldn't serve us up the lemonade we so desire so guess I'll just be me. See, now I'm rambling... I should just shut the hell up and let you all try to get through this chapter. **

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**A Whole New Game**

**Chapter 22**

"_Fine. I can't take this, Swan. I'm a fucking vampire and I fucking love you and I wanna marry you!" _

_Bella froze. I froze. Time stopped. _

_Did I just say all that shit out loud? Those were not the things I came here to say. Good fucking grief, please let it have been in my head. I'm pretty sure I just lost the game._

"_Uh, could we take those declarations one at a time," Bella stuttered._

Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck...Can I take that shit back? I really did not just tell Bella that I was a vampire, that I fucking loved her and worse that I wanted to marry her? Where the fuck did all that come from? Especially the marriage thing. Marriage? I don't think I've ever said that word before. I didn't even realize it was part of my vocabulary and yet, it had come out so easily.

Christ!

Bella's mouth was hanging open and she still had her hand wrapped around my exposed dick which was slowly losing its power. I think I needed to pull my shorts back up. This was not a conversation I wanted to have with my dick hanging out. Actually this was not a conversation I wanted to have at all. Maybe I could just run away. Fuck, this would be the absolute perfect time for a little vamp voodoo. It's too bad Bella is fucking immune.

"Uh, Swan, could you let go of my...ugh...dick," I stammered because her grip was becoming increasingly tighter.

"Oh, sorry," she said obviously flustered.

She released my deflating cock and I jumped up, yanking on my boxers and jeans. Bella grabbed her shirt and quickly buttoned it back up. Nothing like killing a mood.

As soon as we were both dressed I had no idea what to do. I sat back down on the couch and looked at my hands. Bella joined me, but this time her body didn't touch mine. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her biting her lip. She seemed as uncomfortable as I did.

She cleared her throat. "So, Cullen, about...um...oh my god, I don't know what to say?"

"Er, me neither," I muttered. "Do you want me to apologize?"

She scowled at me. "Why would you say you were sorry?"

"I don't know?" I said and that was the truth.

"Um, do you really think you're a vampire?"

Oh shit, we were back to the fake vampire crap. That's it. I can't take this anymore. I'm a fucking real goddamn vampire and she is going to see just how real I am. I narrowed my eyes at her. Her brown eyes widened and she leaped off the couch, scurrying across the floor.

I stood up and stalked toward her as she scrambled away from me. As if she could get away from me. This shit was going to end. She needed to see the real me. No more fucking around the bush. I was going to lay it all on the line, expose my er, fangs to her. Then we'll see if she still wants to stick around.

"Cullen, what the hell," she squeaked. I backed her into a corner, grinning like a maniac.

"Look Bella," I figured I should call her Bella. I didn't have anything else to lose. Well, except maybe her, and that little thought kind of scared the crap out of me. "It's time to put everything on the table."

She put her hands against my chest. "We can skip over the vampire thing. I mean I said it before, I don't really care what you think you are..."

"Bella, we are not skipping over anything anymore. For the past fucking week, I've been driving myself insane because I skipped over some things, some really important things and I'm not going to do it anymore," I yelled.

Jeesh, I needed to calm down a little.

She looked a little confused. "Now what are you talking about?"

I groaned. This stupid conversation was all over the place, but shit, this had been my original question. This was the reason I had come over here in the first place. "Fuck it, well, after the dance ya know, we...er, when things got heated...fuck...we..."I turned away from her and locked my jaw. "Jeez, you'd think I was a fucking teenager," I muttered under my breath. "Goddamn it Bella..."

"God Edward, take a pill or something and just spit it out. Besides you are a teenager," she huffed.

Crap she heard me say that teenager shit. "Uh." Well that's fucking intelligent.

"Do you need a glass of water or something. You look like you're going to pass out." She patted me on the shoulder.

I ran my hands through my hair. "I'm not going to pass out," I snapped. "And this fucking teenage shit, been there done it countless times."

"Oh? Wait what the fuck are you talking about...teenage shit...Edward, you are confusing the hell out of me. You saying all this freaking weird crap and you aren't making any sense. Get back to the stupid question you have."

I growled. "I'm not making any sense to myself either, but...fuck it...this is my question, so I'm just going to ask it but I don't want you to get pissed, okay?"

"Sure Edward, whatever...just ask the damn question. You're driving me nuts.."

"I'm driving you nuts. Hey, I fucking owe you...this whole week has been the absolute shit for me." My voice was rising in volume and pitch.

She interrupted me. "What the fuck Edward. I'm the one who was sick and shit!" She balled her hands into fists and growled. "Forget about that...Just ask the question Edward."

"Believe me, I know you were sick," I grumbled. She just kept staring at me, so I went for broke and just blurted it out, cringing as each word came out of my mouth. "Fine, are you pregnant?"

She was quiet for a few seconds and then she burst out laughing. I mean laughing so hard she was gripping her sides and tears were starting to run down her face. She pushed her way around me and collapsed on the couch. This was not the reaction I was expecting. Hell, I didn't know what I was expecting but I certainly didn't think she would start laughing. I sat down and watched her.

"What the hell are you talking about..." She leaned against me trying to catch her breath. I'm glad I could amuse her.

"Well, jeez Bella, you let me fuck you without...and then at school you ate a ton of food and then you got sick...I really am sorry about that...what the hell are you laughing at..."

"Oh my god," she gasped for air. "Oh, Edward..."

"You still haven't answered my goddamn question."

"Holy hell Edward, I'm not an idiot. You actually think I'd sleep with you without some sort of protection. You don't have to worry, I'm not pregnant."

"Are you sure," I stammered.

"Yes, jeezus, I take the shot."

"Oh fucking holy hell, thank god," I sighed and laid my head back, staring up at the ceiling.

I kind of feel like I should be mad, but the look on your face. I mean...shit, your week must have been hell. I got sick and almost puked on you. Besides, Edward, jeez don't you know anything? There's no way, even if I was pregnant...well, there wouldn't be any signs yet." She shook her head and giggled. "Why didn't you just ask me if I was safe...um, during?"

"I seem to lose all self-control when I'm with you. My brain doesn't work right."

"I guess I can understand that," she said smiling at me. "So that answers your question, let's get back to mine.

"Since we aren't skipping over anything...shall we address the vampire thing and what the hell did you mean by saying you aren't a teenager anymore?

"Erm..."

"Forget the teenage crap, Edward. Let's go back to the vampire thing," she said.

I sighed again. Fucking sighing shit.

"The age thing is kind of connected with the vampire thing."

"Do you always have to be so mysterious Edward," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, no, but it's not like I have conversations like this everyday. Actually, I've never had a talk like this."

"Oh and I have? Yes, this is how I spend my days. I talk about vampires all the fucking time. Actually, I have several friends who think they are vampires," she snorted.

I whispered. "Actually, you do."

"Seriously Edward, quit trying to be funny."

"Ha Ha, does it look like I'm being funny?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, because so far, this conversation was getting us absolutely no where.

"Oooh," she moaned and threw her arms into the air. "Maybe we should skip the vampire shit and move on to your other declarations."

"No, I'm not skipping shit anymore. Just give me a few seconds. This isn't exactly easy ya know," I snapped.

"Enough stalling Mister fucking Sparkle, this has been a weird afternoon and I'm getting hungry. I tell you what, let's put the vampire thing on temporary hold and come back to it..." Her voice trailed off. "Just answer me this, did you mean any of it Cullen?"

I didn't know if I was ready for this discussion. I definitely wasn't ready for the my last statement. Maybe we should go back to the vampire thing. That actually seemed to be the easiest of the three.

I am so fucked right now.

"Cullen, are you even listening to me?"

"I don't say things I don't mean." I blurted out, staring right at her.

Holy hell, I think I really did love her. She was my perfect match, my equal...hmmm, well maybe I wasn't her equal, because she always seemed to be in charge of the games which I guess, was okay with me since I kept coming back for more.

She twirled a strand of hair around her finger and shifted in her seat. I noticed her leg was bouncing up and down. "Oh hmm, the thing is...um, well...I...fuck..." She paused and ran her hands through her hair. I was a bit nervous that she was going to pull it all out and I really liked her hair. "Fuck it...Cullen, I think I love you too."

My eyes popped open. I didn't even know what to say. This wasn't exactly the most romantic way to declare your love for another person, but I guess I really couldn't be too picky. I mean, could it be true? I should enjoy it because as soon as I told her the whole truth about me and showed her I was a real vampire she was going to head for the hills.

She smiled at me. "So ya know...all the other stuff...I really don't care. If you want to think you're a vampire, I can live with it, because I think love trumps all that other crap."

I didn't know how to reply to that...would she really think that when I told her the truth? Right now it didn't sound like she was going to believe the vampire thing. I guess I was just going to have to bite her to get her to see the real me. I think I could arrange that.

"Okay Cullen, you're kinda creeping me out here. You're not saying anything. You're just sitting there with a goofy look on your face and some drool hanging out of your mouth."

I wiped the venom from my mouth with the back of my hand. "Oh, um sorry about that...I figured I'd said enough already."

She snorted. "Well you did say a mouthful..."

She lowered her head and giggled. I rolled my eyes and stared at the ceiling. The tension was thick in the room, so I did a really...I don't know...stupid girl thing and grabbed her hand, giving it a small squeeze. She let out a long breath and leaned toward me pushing her side up against mine. We sat like that for several minutes until her phone rang and scared the shit out of both of us.

She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at it. "Crap, it's my dad, uh, I'll be right back."

She got up and went in the kitchen. I had no desire to listen in so I got up and turned on some music. This had to be one of the weirdest days I'd ever experienced in my long life.

A few minutes later, Bella came back into the living room.

"That was my dad and he's going to be out of town for a few days. Guess there's some missing hikers or something up north and he's heading out with a search party. He's not that excited about me staying alone, so I told him...erm, I wouldn't be alone. I didn't say it would be you I just told him I would have a friend with me, probably Alice. So, if you want to hang out with me that would be cool. I still think we have a few things to talk about."

"Uh, yeah...things to talk about..." I mumbled.

"Does that mean you'll stay with me?"

"Anxious to get more alone time with me Swan?"

"Well...sure, but we really need to finish our um, discussion of your earlier statements." She groaned and rolled her eyes at me. "Help me out here Cullen. You were the one who opened your big fat mouth. You owe me some sort of explantations."

"Fine, what do you want to know. I'm an open book." Oh my fuck, what was I getting myself into?

"Okay, let's go back to the beginning and take things one at a time."

"First the vampire thing."

"Er, okay. What do you want to know."

"Well, it's kinda weird. I mean, do you...shit...you cannot really believe you are a vampire right?"

I sighed. Here we go again. "Bella, I don't know how to explain this shit. I'm not pretending to be a vampire."

She wrinkled her nose. "Oh come on Cullen what the hell are you telling me."

"Um, I'm not pretending. I'm a real vampire."

She started muttering and I didn't know what to do. Should I haul off and bite her? I'm pretty sure that would freak the shit right out of her.

"I'm sorry for all this, Bella. Really, if I were you I think I'd be running for the hills," I said as I slumped down into the couch.

"Cullen, did you not hear me earlier. I said I fucking love you and no matter what, I'm not leaving you," she ran her fingers through my hair. "Things are just a little too tense at the moment. Let's take a break."

"Did you have something in mind, Swan?"

"Yes, Edward, I think a nice game of chess would clear my head."

"Really, I didn't know you played chess?" I couldn't believe she wanted to play chess. What the fuck?

She laughed. "Holy shit Edward, sometimes you can be dumb as a rock." She stood up, grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. "Let's go upstairs," she hissed as she fondled my crotch.

I stumbled and she giggled. Fuck it I thought. I scooped her up and used my vampire speed to run up the stairs. She was a bit breathless when I dumped her on her bed.

"Whoa, what the hell was that?"

"I told you Swan. I really am a vampire."

She nodded, but I still don't think she really believed me. At the moment I didn't care. I was in Bella's bedroom and she was spread out on her bed. She gave me a sexy smile and patted the spot next to her. Who was I to refuse a beautiful girl.

"I believe we were in the middle of some pretty important things, before you opened your mouth."

Within two minutes, Bella had me out of my clothes. I had to admit that was a pretty impressive skill. She grinned at me.

"You seem to be a little overdressed," I said, fondling her covered boob.

She started giggling uncontrollably again. "Okay, Swan, what the fuck is so funny, I said as I unbuttoned her shirt and tore it off. It was then that I noticed I felt that all too familiar warmth on my skin.

"Uh, Edward, your ass is sparkling."

"Yeah, well, it's a part of being a vampire. I can't fucking help it," I grunted as I yanked her pants down.

"It's kinda cool," she muttered. She was running her hands up and down my back. I think she was mesmerized by the shimmer of my skin. Thankfully the sun went under a cloud leaving the room sparkle free. She spread her legs and shifted her hips driving her wet center up into my cock. "Fuck me, vampire."

I groaned because I was pretty sure she was making fun of me, but my dick didn't seem to care, so I was gonna follow his lead. We plunged into the hot tunnel of love. "Ugh, fuck, Bella," I mumbled.

We hit a nice rhythm. "Edward, about your last declaration..." she panted.

"You're asking me about that now...oooh, fuck...yes, right there..." She had hooked her leg around my waist making me drive deeper into her. My dick was extremely happy. Hell, I was extremely happy.

"I was thinking..." she squealed when I reached down and pinched her clit. "Fuck...again Edward..um anyway...yes...fuck...if you wanted...we could go to Vegas...and I'm gonna cum Edward."

"Bella...ahhh..."

She moaned as I felt her clench down on my dick.

"Let's go to Vegas and get married," she yelled.

I came and shouted. "Fuck yeah!"

Wait what? What? Did she just agree to marry me? Did I just agree...Holy...

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**Okay...ugh...I hope you enjoyed it, even though I struggled through this entire chapter...I should have called Jasper...I could have used a little...erm, sorry honey...large distraction. Oh and I am really sorry I didn't get to respond to any of the comments from last week. I do read them all and they are wonderful and funny and give me heart palpitations cuz I love all you guys who comment. Shoot I like everybody who reads this story...lurkers, pimps, commenters...everyone who pops this story up...Until next week...ohmygod...I'm staring at a blank computer screen again...those words better come easier this week...grumble...Until next Friday...I'm outta here...Drizl **


	23. The Oddsmaker

**Good Fucking God...I barely made it...I'm sure nobody wants to hear my excuses so I'm not gonna lay them on ya...Okay, this chappie is more lemons than funny. I still hope you enjoy it! I know you didn't forget but I'm still not S. Meyer. I'm just too damn durty to be her. **

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**The Oddsmaker**

**Chapter 23**

Wait what? What? Did she just agree to marry me? Holy...

"_Let's go to Vegas and get married...Let's go to Vegas and get married." _

"_Fuck yeah! Fuck Yeah! Fuck Yeah!" _

Jeezus, I think there was a fucking echo in my head. Had Bella just agreed to marry me? No, wait, I think I had agreed to marry her. Oh my fuck, as usual I didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Edward," Bella said.

"Huh?" I looked at her. My mind felt completely empty.

"As much as I enjoy you naked, you need to get dressed if we are going to leave anytime soon." She bent down and threw my boxers and pants in my face.

"Right," I said as I tried to remember how to put my clothes back on. Since when had everything become so difficult?

I finished tying my shoes. Bella grinned at me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Damn, she smelled wonderful.

"Edward, are you sure about this?"

I wanted to say no, but I figured it was too late. My foot was so far in my mouth it would take major surgery to remove it and I decided if I told Bella that I was nervous about the whole fucking thing she'd shove her foot up my ass.

"Yep, it's all good," I answered with a quick smile. She blushed and winked at me. I got a weird feeling in my stomach when she did that. What the fuck?

"Let's go get your stuff packed and hit the road," she said as she dragged me downstairs. I watched as she scribbled a note, telling Charlie she was staying at my house. Jeezus, when Charlie found out about all this shit, he was going to hunt me down and shoot me. Not that it would do anything, but I'm pretty sure that after he finds out his daughter is married to a vampire, he'll come after me with a stake.

Christ.

Bella took my hand, leading me out of her house. Thank the gods the sun was going down. I couldn't take anymore comments about my sparkly ass. Bella grinned at me as the final ray of sunshine bounced off my cheeks.

"You really are quite beautiful," she whispered.

Oh hurray, just what a guy wants to hear, that he's fucking beautiful. I rolled my eyes and jumped in my car. Bella tossed her bag in the backseat. Holy hell, this was really happening. I almost felt like another panic attack was coming. I really should be keeping track of all these different emotions I was experiencing. I'm sure I would shock the vampire world.

We didn't talk the rest of the drive to my house. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to keep this shit from Alice or anyone else for that matter. I really didn't need any of my nosy siblings up in my business. I wasn't sure how they would react to me marrying a fucking human or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe they would think Bella was stupid for marrying someone like me. Holy hell, all this shit just plain sucked.

We walked into the house and headed up to my room. I thought we were in the clear, but the moment I was about to open my door, Alice shot out of her bedroom and whisked Bella away from me. Bella just shrugged her shoulders. I knew I didn't stand a chance against Alice so I went into my room to pack a bag. Of course, Jasper was sitting on my bed, playing with that fucking unopened condom.

"Get the fuck out of my room." I shouted.

"What's going on little brother?" He twirled the condom in his palm.

"Nothing, Bella and I are just getting out of here for a few days."

He looked a little skeptical. I ignored his questioning eyes and dug around in my closet for a small overnight bag. I tossed some stuff in it and zipped it closed before Jasper could ask anymore questions.

"Something is going on Edward," Jasper said.

"No Jasper it's not and even it was, it's none of your fucking business," I growled. "Now if you don't mind, I'm taking my girlfriend for a little rest and relaxation."

I pushed past him. I'm not sure, but I think I heard him say something about placing a bet on a long shot. I must be imagining things. I was pretty sure my mind was tightly closed. I glared back at him just as he tossed the condom at my head. I growled, opened my bedroom door and yelled for Bella.

"Safe sex is the best sex," Jasper laughed.

Fucking Jasper.

When Bella finally stepped out of Alice's room she had a fucking weird look on her face. I couldn't tell if she was embarrassed, hot and bothered, happy or pissed. I fired a glare at Alice for good measure. What the hell was the matter with everyone?

"Let's get the hell out of here," I hissed. I grabbed her hand and dashed down the stairs, back out to my car. It only took a few seconds before we were heading down the road to Las Vegas of all places...to get married...holy fuck!

"So Edward," Bella said looking at me sideways.

"Er, yes," I hesitated. She still had a funny look on her face. I kept wondering what the fuck Alice had said to her, but then I decided I was safer playing the dumb guy card. I just didn't want to know.

"Um, how does one become a vampire? Do you have to take a test on a website or just fill out a card to declare yourself one? Do you have meetings?"

I growled. Fucking fake vampire shit. Maybe I should ask her about Alice. It couldn't be any worse than talking about this crap. "Jeez, Bella, no, I didn't fill out a card and I've never taken a fucking test."

"Well, how then," she asked trying to sound sincere when really she sounded like she was holding her laughter in by chewing her cheek.

"Look, Bella, for the one hundredth time, I'm not a fake vampire. Oh for fucks sake..." I was trapped in a fucking corner. I suppose I could tell her I was a member of some freaky human vampire worshipping club or I could tell her the simple truth. I sighed. That was becoming a regular occurrence. "I was turned in the early part of the 20th century when I was dying of Spanish Influenza."

"Turned?"

"Yes, turned. I was bitten by another vampire, my body was filled with venom, I died and when I awoke about three days later, I was a vampire." I wasn't sure why I didn't tell her the other vampire was Carlisle. I could do that later.

She pursed her lips and nodded. She still didn't seem to believe me, but it was the best I could do at the moment. I suppose I could pull the car over and bite the shit out of her.

"So, how old does that make you?"

"Um, seventeen."

"What the fuck Edward...were you just turned this year or something...you just said..."

I interrupted her. "Fine, I'll be 109 in June."

"Hm, you look pretty good for an old guy."

You would think telling someone you were 109 would freak a person out, but Bella didn't even miss a beat.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, thanks Bella." I cleared my throat waiting for more questions to come my way. She just stared straight ahead, chewing on her lip. "Aren't you going to ask me about my diet?"

"What for...vampire's drink blood right?"

"Er, yes..." What was the matter with this girl? She really should be afraid of me. I guess I should have realized she wouldn't be. I didn't understand her at all.

"So, why would I have questions about that?"

"Um, aren't you afraid I'm going to haul off and bite you?" I said waggling my eyebrows at her.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You already have and nothing happened, except that it was a really big turn-on." She flushed when those words came out of her mouth.

She had a point. It was a huge fucking turn-on!

She leaned against the window and closed her eyes. Pretty soon her breathing evened out and she sank into sleep. I drove and retreated into my mind, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. Were we really going to get married? Did she really want me that way? Did I want her or was it just something I screamed out in the heat of passion?

I chanced a glance at the sleeping girl next to me. Her face was half hidden behind a curtain of long brown wavy hair. A funny feeling fluttered in my stomach again as I let my eyes sweep over her. I swear if this weirdness didn't stop I was going to be forced to talk to Carlisle again. Shit that thought made me shudder. I didn't know if I could handle another talk with Carlisle.

For some odd reason, I was feeling less stressed out about this whole thing. This seemed er, somehow, right...Okay so maybe I was feeling a little freaked out. I still really didn't understand why this human would want anything to do with me.

Several miles later, the car needed gas and I'm sure Bella would be needing a human minute so I pulled into a gas station. She woke when I shut the car off, stretching her arms over her head and smiling shyly at me. I patted her ass when she walked by me. She turned and winked at me. That wink sent a quick tingly sensation down to my dick. I swear to god Bella had total command of my cock.

She took care of her needs and I took care of the car. We were soon rolling down the road again. She was unusually quiet and it was a little unnerving. Maybe she wanted to back out.

Hmmm, for some reason that did not sit well with me. Maybe I really did er, love her.

"You okay," I asked.

"Of course," she said as she leaned forward to adjust the music. Her blouse was open so I could see the tops of her boobs and the lacy blue bra she was wearing was on display. I wanted to reach over and give her a playful squeeze, but Bella beat me to it. My eyes widened when I felt her hand on my thigh. I looked down as her fingers danced up my pants to my dick which was already half awake. He never wanted to be left out where Bella was concerned.

She continued with the light little touches making me squirm in my seat. Her fingers grazed over my dick which was now impossibly hard. I groaned when she grasped me through my pants and rubbed her thumb over the tip.

"So," she eyed me like I was a piece of meat. I moaned, because predator Bella was hot. "Edward, have you ever had road head?"

Every muscle in my entire body tensed, except my jaw which fell open, letting a few drops of venom roll down my chin. I grunted and soon realized nothing coming out of my mouth made any sense. I was back to speaking that weird foreign language again. She ignored my stupidity and opened the button of my jeans, pulling down the zipper.

"Do you think you can stay on the road? I mean an accident might not hurt the big bad vampire but I don't think it would do me or your car any good at all." She smirked and licked her lips.

I nodded and some strange growl bubbled up out of my throat when she dragged my dick out of my boxers and blew air across the dripping head. This road trip thing was turning out to be a fucking fantastic idea. I wonder how many hours of road head a guy could handle. My eyes glazed over at the thought of endless hours of Bella bobbing up and down on my cock.

Fuck!

I gripped the steering wheel and tried to keep my eyes focused on the road. I used to be so good at multi-tasking, but for some reason Bella screwed everything up. Yes, blame everything on her.

"Ugh...fuck...faster baby..." I moaned. I barely had my eyes open. She took me in deeply and then she must have noticed I wasn't doing a very good job with my driving. I was kinda weaving all over the road. She hissed, releasing my dick from her mouth.

"Edward, keep your eyes on the road or I'll just stop," she snapped.

I let out a strangled protest and widened my eyes. She giggled and nipped at my thigh. I fucking bucked my hips upward and ground my teeth together. I would hold my eyelids open with toothpicks just so she would keep on going. She continued with tiny kisses and small licks and then without warning she relaxed her throat, puffed out her cheeks and went down on me, sucking hard as she took me in.

"Holy fuck," I hissed and thrust into her mouth which made her laugh and then fuck if I didn't cum right there and then. I bet that was the fucking shortest road head ever. I slumped back against the seat as Bella grabbed a tissue and cleaned me up. She had managed to swallow most of my jizz, but there was still some dripping down my softening cock.

Bella was still giggling quietly.

"Yeah, yeah..." I grumbled. "Why don't you drive for awhile and I'll do the same to you and see how long you last."

She raised her eyebrows at me. I actually think she was contemplating my offer.

One more road head session, a quick finger fuck for Bella and a joint session where she got herself off and I rubbed one out, and we were in Vegas. Not once did I veer off the road.

I thought the nerves would come crashing down on me when I saw the city of sin, but really I was too horny to give a fuck about much else. I did wonder how I was going to get about the city to secure a marriage license if the sun insisted on shining.

We pulled onto the strip and suddenly I realized I didn't make any hotel reservations. Oh fucking hell, how could I forget something like that! For chrissakes!

"Uh, Edward, we have a room reserved at the Bellagio," Bella mumbled.

"Really?"

"Er, yes, I called before we left your house."

For some reason Bella was talking to the car window.

I decided to write it off as nerves or some female issue. Fuck if I know what's going on. I'm keeping my dumb guy card handy. I wonder how many times you could use your card in one day.

I was sort of curious how she was able to reserve a room at the Bellagio though. As far as I know Bella did not have any major credit cards.

We pulled into the Bellagio and I handed over my keys to the valet guy, slipping him some cash and carefully eyeing him just in case something happened to my baby. I didn't normally trust anyone with my car, but this was a special occasion. He nodded at me and drove the car away.

We headed into the hotel to check in. I should have known something was up when the woman at the front desk got all jumpy as soon as Bella gave the name Cullen to her.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen, you are early. Let me call up and make sure the room is ready."

What the fuck do you have to do to a room to have it ready? Make the bed, leave some towels and get the fuck out. We could take it from there. Bella kept shifting her weight from one foot to the other. I eyed her suspiciously, placing my hand on her arm to calm her down. She shot me a glare so I backed away.

What the fuck.

We waited for a few minutes listening to the front desk lady apologize profusely for making us wait. A few more minutes ticked off the clock before a dude came rushing up to us. He signaled for a bellhop to take Bella's bag.

"I'm so sorry for the delay, Mr. Cullen. My name is Felix. If there is anything you need please do not hesitate to ask. I will be at your beck and call for your entire stay," he said quickly. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "When I say anything, I mean anything."

What the fuck?

I felt something slide into my pants pocket. Jeez, was this dude hitting on me?

"Follow me," he said and looped his arm through Bella's.

Fuck, maybe he was hitting on both of us.

I hung back, digging in my pocket to see what he had put there. I pulled out a small vial of...jesusmutha...what the fuck kind of hotel was this? I was dumbfounded. In my hand was a perfect little glass vial filled with what looked to be blood. I quickly jammed it back into my pocket, glancing nervously around to see if anyone had noticed me. Bella and Felix were walking into the elevator.

I hurried to catch up with them. Felix shoved a card into the elevator and pushed a button. I tried not to stare at him, but it was hard. I put my hand in my pocket and fondled the glass vial. It was kind of a big fucking turn on to think I would be able to have a small snack. Fuck I was suddenly sporting a semi. I untucked my shirt.

The elevator doors slid open and I followed Felix and Bella down a deserted hall. I wasn't listening to what he was telling her. I was too busy wondering how in the world Bella had pulled all this off. But when Felix opened the door to our room, er, this wasn't a fucking room. It was a goddamn huge apartment. I knew Bella had help. This had been the doing of Alice.

I was so busy muttering to myself, I didn't realize they were talking to me.

"Edward," Bella said.

"Uh, what," I grunted. Felix clapped me on the shoulder and handed me the key card, quickly running through all the amenities offered in this room, er apartment, and the hotel. Felix smiled at me and disappeared out the door.

I heard Bella sigh. She had moved to stand in front of a very large window that was overlooking the strip. It really was a magnificent view. The strip was okay too and in the next moment I forgot about who paid for this suite. I started fantasizing about taking her up against that window. Okay, my semi was turning into full-blown wood. I eyed the dining room table thinking that if we removed the center piece, it would be a great place to fuck the shit out of my girl.

Bella turned away from the window. "Edward I'm sorry. I should have told you that Alice..." I held my finger up to my lips and shushed her. I watched her pupils dilate as I purposefully walked over to the dining table and moved the center piece over to a counter. She gasped when I patted the table top.

I wondered just how many guests had used the table for this purpose. I couldn't find it in myself to really fucking care. I was so horny I needed Bella now.

She smirked, sauntering over to me, slowly removing her clothing. I think she could read my mind. I groaned as she opened the button on her jeans, carefully sliding the zipper down. She shimmied out of the jeans letting them pool at her ankles before she stepped out of them. Her shirt was the next casualty. I watched as it dropped to the floor in a pile of blue fabric.

Fuck, I wanted her. My aching cock wanted her, even my fingertips burned with anticipation at the thought of touching her bare skin. Bella's eyes widened as I ripped my jeans off, securing the small vial in my hand. I yanked my boxers down and roughly grabbed my cock. I stared at her for a few seconds before I popped the vial open. I raised the vial to my lips and tossed my head back. The blood caressed my throat, soothing the fire that burned from being so close to Bella. My eyes closed as I wrapped my fingers around my rock hard dick, sliding my hand up and down a few times. My thumb rubbed over the weeping slit as I moved some of the precum around. A small moan fell from Bella's lips. I opened my eyes. She was standing right in front of me staring at my hand holding my dick. She softly ran her hands across my abs. My stomach did a giant flip flop. God, Bella's touch could illicit the weirdest responses from my body.

I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to be fucking in her, immediately, or I was going to jizz all over the floor and I wanted to cum inside her, with her screaming my name and worshipping my fucking dick. I picked her up and in one smooth motion laid her out on the table like a full course meal. Her legs dangled over the edge. The table was the perfect fucking height. I trapped her hands in mine, gently moving her arms above her head. Totally helpless Bella fucking whimpered. I almost snarled.

"Mark me Cullen. Take me, please," she begged, thrusting her hips upward.

I think I was going to love staying in this room. Maybe I could become a professional gambler.

I stepped in between her thighs, nudging them open. I took a deep breath, leaned over her and inhaled the scent of her lust.

Holy fucking shit. If my dick could talk he would be screaming out to get on with it. I decided to follow his directions. I slid my hands down her body and under her ass, pulling her to the edge of the table. In one hard quick motion I was in her. She arched her back and let out a strangled cry. I threw my head back, trying to reign in the emotions that were crashing through me.

"Fuck, Cullen, move," she shouted as her nails sank into my arm.

Who was I to deny her wishes. My fingers dug into her hips as I started moving in and out of her. We were both grunting and groaning. The entire room smelled like fucking sex. I was overwhelmed.

"I asked you...ugh... harder...to mark...feels so good...ohmygod...fucking bite me, Cullen! Show me that you are a real vampire," she screamed.

My hips stilled. If I did this there would be no turning back, she would know the truth. Was I willing to risk it? I opened my eyes and looked down at the beautiful woman who was writhing beneath me. Her lust filled eyes met mine. I swear fire roared through my entire body. I almost felt like I was sweating. I really did love her.

She winked at me and turned her head, exposing her fragile neck to me. I leaned over.

"Are you sure," I whispered against her skin.

"Yes," she said as she bucked against me again.

"I promise I will never hurt you."

And with those words, my teeth sliced through her delicate skin and her blood poured into my mouth. She screamed, wrapping her arms and legs around me. I was lost in a haze of blood and love and it was almost too much for me. I released my hold on her throat and concentrated all my efforts on bringing her to a climax. I was going to lose my load in a matter of seconds and I wanted her to join me.

"Are you close baby," I whispered as I snaked my hand between us to rub her clit.

She let out a strangled cry and I felt her walls clench down around my dick. The minute I felt her explosion I followed her. My knees buckled and we slid off the table down to the floor.

She rested her head on my shoulder, desperately trying to slow her breathing down.

Her voice was soft and breathy. "Edward, I love you."

I swear to fucking god my heart started beating again.

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**Shit once again I didn't get to replying to your awesome reviews. I suck! Jasper come punish me honey. hehehe. Here's a shout out to all the lovely pervy ladies who keep me entertained on twitter and at RAoR. Luv you all! You guys make this so much fun! Now, let's go hit the blackjack tables! I'm feeling lucky tonight...I'm outta here...Drizl**


	24. Snake Eyes

**Happy Early 4th of July Weekend to my American readers...I'm actually impressed I was able to get this chapter out...what with the opening of Eclipse...yep I went to the Midnight showing and it almost put me in a coma...Robert was absolutely beautiful...they finally got the make-up right...And Jackson...well, shizz...the boy was so hawt, even in the weird wig...I do not hide my love for Jackson aka Jasper. I'm an equal opportunity h00r when it comes to hawt boys...um, what were we talking about...oh yes, I made my deadline...And I'm not Steph cuz if I was...I woulda been at the Premiere sitting between Rob and Jackson trying to cop a feel...bwahahaha...durty h00r! I hope you all like this chapter...let the games continue! **

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Snake Eyes**

**Chapter 24**

_Her voice was soft and breathy. "Edward, I love you."_

_I swear to fucking god my heart started beating again._

To say I was happy when she said the words again was an understatement. I lost the power of speech. I could only offer her a stupid silly grin as she untangled herself from me to use the bathroom. I'm not sure how I managed to get dressed or what happened next. It was sometime later that I regained conscious awareness of my current location. I was lying in bed, holding her in my arms as she slept.

I couldn't do anything but sigh. I'd never felt anything like this before in my entire life. This is what I had been missing with all the mindless fucks I had engaged in over the years. It was really better when you loved the person you were screwing.

Holy fuck, I sounded like one of those lovesick pansy-ass dudes. I chuckled because ya know, I didn't really give a fuck anymore. As long as I had Bella. I rolled my eyes.

I guess if I was going to be completely honest with myself I had to admit I really did enjoy the getting off part of sex but there was other things that mattered too. Holding this beautiful girl in my arms was almost better than being wrapped up in her. Okay, no, that wasn't true...but it did come in a close second to having her lips around my dick or being buried in her pussy.

Fuck, I needed to stop thinking about that shit because once again, my dick was waking up and Bella needed to rest. We were getting married today. Well, we had to take care of the paperwork and shit, but then we were getting hitched. She would be mine forever. Okay, so I was getting a little ahead of myself. She would only be mine forever if I could talk her into joining my lifestyle which meant that first I had to prove to her that I was a real vampire. I wasn't quite sure if she believed that part yet.

God, I bet Bella would make an excellent vampire, but it would be her choice. Always her choice.

Dammit. Thinking about Bella as a hot vampire chick was not helping the hard-on situation.

Ugh, my dick hurt again. After several minutes of thinking of awful mood killing things, my dick was still standing at attention. I was going to have to take care of this or wake Bella up and bang the shit out of her again.

I tried to slide out from under her, but she grabbed a handful of my shirt, keeping me in my place. She murmured something, tossing her leg over mine. I grunted when her knee came in contact with my package. I suppose I could try dry humping her knee for a little relief. I lifted my hips up and came in contact with nothing when she slid her leg away from my crotch.

Dammit!

Okay, let's try this again...I'm going to think of really boring shit and try to get rid of this stiffy I'm currently sporting. Wow, my cock is really straining the material on my pants. This was not helping the situation. My dick liked compliments. Bella squirmed against me again. Her hand slid down my chest, ghosting over my erection and continuing down my thigh.

Fuck, move it back up Bella. I grabbed her wrist and gently laid her hand on my dick. She snorted and snatched it away, fisting my shirt again. She had moved again so half her body was sprawled out across my chest. Oh god, I was going to have to lay here for what, six hours, with a fucking boner.

Goddamn Bella Swan.

Even in her sleep she was better at this fucking game than me. My dick hurt and she had me whining in my head. Maybe if I poked Bella in the side she would move and I could just slip away for a couple minutes to take care of my problem. I shrugged a little, but she didn't move. I rubbed my elbow against her ribs and got a small moan, which went straight to my already aching cock, making him more angry.

Christ.

Forget this shit. I reached down and lowered my zipper and popped the button. My dick practically jumped out of his prison. I tried a few more times to shimmy out from under Bella, but she wasn't letting go of me.

I was condemned to hell. A life in hell with a chronic hard-on and no relief in sight.

I decided to try staring at the ceiling. It didn't work. Bella moaned in her sleep, whimpering my name. Figures, she was probably getting off in her dream and I was stuck, trapped beneath her fiery skin. She squeaked again and her arm flailed out. Her hand came to rest on my dick. Oh fucking praise whoever is in charge of the universe. I bucked my hips, driving my dick into her hand. Yes, sweet friction. I managed to drag my hand out from under her arm and placed it on top of hers, applying pressure.

Okay, now let's get a little movement going here. I dragged her hand over my dick, grinding my dick into our hands. Ugh, that feels good, but it's not enough. Maybe I could slip her hand in my boxers.

"Jeezus, I'm a fucking pervert."

I removed Bella's hand from my rigid member, placing it on my stomach. That was just kinda creepy making a sleeping girl jerk me off. I would just stare at the ceiling and think about erm, fake vampire teeth and Jasper's fucking cape. It worked for about three minutes when once again Bella started mumbling shit against my chest and her hand crept down to my dick.

For the love of all that's holy, I can't take much more of this fucking shit. I need relief like now. I bucked my hips and bounced the bed around, hoping to wake her up. I swear she sighed and then fucking squeezed my tortured dick.

Fuck it. I'm getting off with or without her. I couldn't stand it anymore. She could sleep while I rubbed one out.

I really didn't have to create a fantasy since Bella was sprawled across my chest. I'm sure a couple deep breaths of her scent would do the trick along with a little fast action from my hand.

I let my hand drift down to my cock, slowly pulling it out through the flap in my boxers. Oh sweet holy fuck, even my hand felt good. Gripping my dick tightly I started moving my hand up and down with a twist thrown in for good measure. Sweep the thumb across the weepy slit. Take a deep breath and taste the enticing scent of one Bella Swan.

"Oh fucking god...so good..." I stammered.

My mind wandered to our earlier dining room table activities. Okay, this was going to work out just fine. I could feel the the warmth spreading through my abdomen down to my balls. And here it comes...

"Edward?" Bella's eyes widened as she watched me come in spurts all over my hand, boxers and jeans.

Oh my fuck, I was so busted. What could I say?

"Ugh," I grunted trying to shove my still spazzing dick into my pants. God damn, there was jizz everywhere.

"Why didn't you wake me? I could have helped you with your problem," she said giggling and then she started laughing.

"Yeah, yeah," I snorted. "Could you move so I can get cleaned up."

"No problem..."

If I could have blushed I bet my entire body would be flaming red.

Bella was rolling all over the bed laughing her head off. Apparently she found my jerking off quite humorous. I slammed the bathroom door and proceeded to wipe my dick off and change my boxers and jeans. I stood in front of the closed doors for a few more minutes trying to decide how I was going to handle this walk of shame. Jeez, Bella was going to think I was a total perv.

I groaned and pulled the bathroom door open.

"Wank much?" She said and burst out laughing again.

"Shut up. That was all your fault," I snorted.

"Edward, that's funny shit," she chuckled.

"Whatever, it wasn't you spraying spunk everywhere while I slept. Could we just change the subject?"

She laughed again. "I can't believe you of all people are embarrassed about getting busted beating off. I think it's kind of sexy."

My eyebrows shot up when that came out of Bella's mouth. Apparently she was just as much of a perv as me. Lucky me. I smirked and shook my head. "You are one cool chick Bella Swan."

"You're not so bad yourself Edward Cullen," she said as she bounced on her knees motioning for me to come over to the bed.

"So," she drew the word out, licking her lips. "How long do I have to wait before you can go again."

Oh, is this how it was going to be? Well, I could be a player too...maybe...er, holy shit I swear her eyes were glowing.

She reached out, pulling me down to the bed. "Cullen," she purred. "I want you to fuck me like you mean it."

"Swan, I always mean it when I fuck you," I shot back. Fuck that was good! I gave myself a inner pat on the back when she gasped and blinked furiously. Of course, my victory was short lived because the next thing I know Bella was moving off the bed.

Where is she going? I was about to shout the question out loud when she turned to me, slowly dragging her top over her head. Running her hands down to her boobs. Holy fuck was she stripping for me?

"I meant what I said, Cullen, I want you to fuck me like you mean it." She hooked her fingers in the waistband of her shorts and started to slide them off, swaying her hips as she moved them lower.

Jeezus, fuck...I let my vamp instincts take control of me. I reached out, grabbing her roughly, shoving her to the bed. I flipped her over and pulled her up so she was on her knees. I ripped her shorts and panties from her body in one sharp tug. She gasped. My jeans and boxers were the next casualties.

"I meant what I said, Bella..." she moaned when I said her name. "I always mean it when I fuck you."

She cried out when I grabbed her hips and slammed my dick into her slick pussy. She was grunting and cursing a blue streak as I fucked her.

"So good...Bella...I...fucking..."

"Fuck...Edward...Oh shit...Edward..."

She was fucking chanting my name. I reached around her waist and ran my finger across her lips, sliding it into her mouth. She sucked down, pursing her lips as I pulled it out. I ran the wetness down her boob, across her stomach and down to her clit. She pushed her ass harder into me.

"Don't you dare slow down," she hissed.

"Wouldn't dream of it baby," I panted out.

I circled her clit with my finger. Her arms were starting to tremble. Both of us were hanging on for dear life.

"Ugh, Swan, I..." I could feel all her muscles beginning to tighten. I jerked her into a sitting position, leaning up on my knees. That was all it took for her orgasm to overtake her entire body. With one final hard thrust I let go and pulsed into her clenching walls.

"Holy hell," Bella said as her head fell back against my shoulder. She slid off me, turning to face me. She grabbed my hands. "Edward, do you promise to always fuck me like that even after we are married?"

I grinned. "Fuck yeah, baby!"

She grabbed my face, leaning in for a forceful kiss. "We should sleep."

"You sleep Bella," I said as I let her drop to the bed.

"You need some rest too Edward," she whispered.

"I don't sleep baby."

"Right...good night Cullen," she said as she grabbed the sheet and covered herself. I believe it was my dick that sighed this time. I had been throughly and properly fucked.

I could use a little pick-me-up. I wandered over to the mini-bar wondering if Felix had meant what he said. Anything I want...well, right now I would like a little blood cocktail...I jerked open the little fridge, gasping when I saw a large bottle of red liquid. I eyed it suspiciously because I figured it was probably a bottle of tomato juice.

I gently picked it up and unscrewed the cap. Well fuck me running...it was human blood. I tipped the bottle back taking a long cool drink. Not as good as warm, but fuck, it hit the spot.

I decided to kill some time by wandering around the hotel and casino while Bella slept. I left her a note to call me on my cell if she woke up and found me absent. I ran into Felix and he gave me the lowdown on the marriage license shit, throwing in a bit of a lecture for free. Of course he figured out Bella was human and he couldn't understand why I hadn't turned her yet. I didn't feel like getting into the well, she thinks I'm a fake vampire shit, so I shrugged, telling him it would happen soon enough.

I got yelled at by a couple security guards for not having any ID on me, but Felix told them to relax. I was going to have to invest in a fake ID. I should find my original birth certificate and give the DMV a fucking heart attack.

I thanked Felix for all his help and went back up to our room. Bella was just beginning to wake. I sat down and watched her stretch and go through her morning routine of starting a new day.

"How can you not even look tired," she huffed as she applied some sort of goop under her eyes. Apparently it was supposed to cover dark circles. It looked like she wasted her money but I wasn't about to give her that information. Once I made the mistake of asking a chick why she felt the need to use some sort of shit on her face. I could still see the zit poking out on her chin. She fucking slapped me across the face and ran out on me. She never did suck me off like she had promised me.

A few minutes later someone knocked on the door. I looked at Bella, but she just shrugged her shoulders. I opened the door and some dude pushed in a cart filled with breakfast food.

"Um, we didn't order anything."

"This was pre-arranged," the guy said politely.

"Oh, er, thanks," I mumbled pulling out my wallet. The dude waved his hand and said everything had been taken care of. Bella came out of the bedroom and grinned when she saw the cart of food.

We sat down. She handed me a bottle of tomato juice. My name was written in black marker on the label. I rolled my eyes. Sneaky bastard. Man, Felix was really looking out for me. I was starting to love that guy.

I watched Bella as she ate her breakfast. She kept stealing quick glances, smiling shyly at me. It made my stomach feel like there was bugs in it or something. Maybe Felix was feeding me bad blood.

When we were both finished with breakfast neither of us knew what to do. There was an uncomfortable uneasiness wafting between us.

"Er, so should we go, um, well...we need to go get the license...um, if you want," I added quickly.

"Yes, I want," she said softly and lowered her eyes.

Felix had given me a number to call when we were ready to go. He had arranged for a limo with dark tinted windows to pick us up and take us to get a marriage license. Felix greeted us at the front entrance and led us out to the waiting limo. He kissed Bella's hand and patted me on the back.

"See you kids back here," he said grinning.

"Er right," I answered. Bella just looked at me. Was Felix planning something? He looked really guilty. This was a really confusing day already.

Thank God for all the roof overhangs and shit in Vegas because the sun was really brutal today. Although I would probably just blend in with all the lights and glitter on the strip.

Bella and I engaged in a little light foreplay on the way to the marriage license place, so I was pretty overheated when we get there. She laughed and pulled me out of the car and into the air conditioned offices. I had to untuck my shirt again.

We stood in line for several minutes and then it's finally our turn at the window. The guy smiled and asked for our ID's. Bella handed hers over first. The man grinned again and pushed his glasses up his nose as he filled out the form. I give him mine next.

"Son, I'm sorry but you have to be eighteen to get married in this state." The gentleman said as he handed me back my drivers license. "In order for me to issue you two a marriage license you will have get permission from your parent or legal guardian."

I could hear Bella behind me giggling. Guess there was no time like the present to try a little vamp voodoo. I stared at the guy, looking deep into his blue eyes. "Maybe you should check the license again."

He raised his eyebrows at me and glanced back down at my license. "Son, it still says you are seventeen."

Goddamn it, I think everyone had become immune to my vampire charms. I couldn't even voodoo a desk clerk to get a marriage license.

My phone chirped in my pocket interrupting my glare.

Oh, great it's Alice.

"Hi Edward." She sounded gleeful.

"Uh, hello Alice," I said trying to keep my voice even and calm.

"Are you having some problems?"

"Nope, none at all," I lied.

"Don't lie to me Edward," she hissed.

"Not lying, Alice, but I'm very busy. Talk to you later." I ended the call before she could say anything else.

"Edward," Alice said. What the fuck. I shut my damn phone off. "Edward!" I felt a tapping on my shoulder. Fuck, please be Bella.

"Oh hey, Alice. What are you doing here?"

"Jaz and I thought we would renew our vows. What are you doing here?"

"Fuck you Alice," I said.

Jasper gave me a little wave. I flipped him off and snarled. Were they here to try and stop me from marrying Bella? Well, I wasn't about to back down from this.

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**Yep still a loser...I didn't reply to all my reviews...But I do read them all! Thanks for sticking with the story...as you know it's winding down...it's already a full length novel according to the word count! Thanks for all the reviews, the story alerts, the favorite story...you guys rock and make me feel like I can actually write a good story...until next Friday...I'm outta here...Drizl **


	25. I Fold

**To say I enjoyed this past week would be a fucking lie. Holy shit, I lost my inner durty girl. I have no idea where the bitch went! I stayed up until 3am last night banging out this chapter. I'm actually satisfied with it. I hope you are as well...Oh and I'm not Steph Meyer...I just love messing with Edward (and Jasper too) So, let's see if I managed to write a coherent chapter. I hope there's at least one or two snickers or snorts in here...On with the story! **

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**I Fold**

**Chapter 25**

"_Jaz and I thought we would renew our vows. What are you doing here?"_

"_Fuck you Alice," I said. _

_Jasper gave me a little wave. I flipped him off and snarled. Were they here to try and stop me from marrying Bella? Well, I wasn't about to back down from this._

Jesusfuckingchrist! What the fuck else could go wrong today? Or every other day for that matter!

Idiot! Moron! Fuck-up!

I cannot believe I didn't bring my ID that stated I was eighteen. What the hell was I thinking? I was letting my dick think for me again and he wasn't always the sharpest pencil in the box. He had one thing on his mind and that was Bella's body and getting off. Yeah, yeah, I know that was two things, but it's my dick and I know how he operates. Besides it was Bella's body that was getting me off so the two things are related.

Oh fuck, no wonder I can't do anything right. None of that shit even makes any sense. I'm just one big dumb ass who really does think with his dick. And now to make matters worse, Alice and Jasper were here to witness just how stupid I truly was. Fucking Jasper was never going to let me live any of this shit down.

I ran my hands through my hair a few times. Everyone was staring at me, waiting for my next move, but I didn't have any moves. I was out of the game and I needed to get the hell out of this little tiny closet these people were calling an office. The walls were fucking closing in on me. Ohmygod, I was having a fucking panic attack. Alert the media another first in the weird life of Edward Cullen, vampire failure. I bolted for the door, pushing it open and headed out into the daylight. I clung to the side of the building, trying to stay out of the blazing sun. I caught sight of the limo Felix had sent us in and darted across the parking lot, jumping in before anyone noticed a crazy sparkling dude running for his life. Vampire speed also helped in that situation. I slammed the door and sank down into the backseat.

Christ.

The driver turned and stared at me. "Sir? Where is your fiancee?"

"Uh, she'll be along any minute, I suppose," I grunted.

Holy fuck, I'd made a mess of everything. I was no good at this shit. I couldn't even pick up a marriage license. I was a fucking failure. I was no player. I was a fucking loser and Bella shouldn't be marrying a loser.

"Get me the fuck out of here," I said to the driver.

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Yes, she obviously is not coming and quit fucking calling me sir," I groaned. "Shit, shit, shit."

The driver followed my directions and we sped out of the parking lot. I didn't even look back to see if anyone ever came out of the building. I'm sure they were all having a great laugh at my expense. Besides after they finished laughing Jasper and Alice could get Bella home and away from me. I'm sure that was what she wanted anyway.

I heard a cell phone ring, but it wasn't mine. The driver mumbled a few words and then hung up. I didn't really give a fuck who he was speaking with. My whole world had just gone down the toilet.

"Fuck," I murmured burying my face into my hands. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

The driver chuckled softly. Was this guy laughing at me too? Jeez, maybe I should just walk back to the hotel. Yes, in the blazing sun. I'd probably blind the entire population of Vegas. Or maybe I could get a job as a freak. Do they still have freak shows? I could be a headliner. See the boy who sparkles. Holy shit, I was losing my fucking mind.

The driver cleared his throat, watching me from the rearview mirror. "I don't mean to intrude, but might I suggest a few drinks and maybe a bit of gambling."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "What's your name?"

"Marcus," he answered cooly. "You really should have a go at some games and the drinking will take the edge off. Besides that is what one does while in Vegas, especially when things do not go as planned."

Since I met Bella, nothing in my life went as planned. Guess that means a I should be a gambling drunk.

"Ya know, Marcus, maybe you're right," I muttered. "Hey, when do you get off work?"

"I've been paid to be at your beck and call for the next few days."

"Well, fucking alright then, I'm asking you to show me the fucking sights of Vegas er, as long as you quit calling me sir. My name is Edward, not sir."

Marcus laughed and before I knew it we were back at the hotel. He disappeared for a few moments, coming back dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. At first I was a little worried, thinking Marcus was going to be a stuffy guy who walked around all formal and shit. That's what he sounded like when were in the limo and he was calling me sir and shit, but now he looked like a normal person. He was also holding two very red drinks in his hands.

He grinned at me, flashing me a little fang. Holy fuck! I was surprised I hadn't realized this guy was a vampire. I really was losing my shit.

I grabbed the glass out of his hand and downed it in one swift gulp.

"Holy shit Edward," Marcus gasped.

"Oh fuck," I groaned as I felt the familiar burn run down my throat. "That wasn't just blood was it?"

"Uh, no, it was blood and Stoli's."

"Stoli's?"

"Russian Vodka," Marcus hissed. Maybe I should have warned Marcus I didn't handle my liquor very well, but he just rolled his eyes and made his way back to the bar. I soon found myself in possession of another glass of Stoli's and blood.

Several glasses later and you could say I was fucking trashed. Marcus and I were currently playing a slot machine. I had no idea what I was doing. It was really quite humorous. Maybe that was why I winning. Naw, I was winning because I was a fucking vampire (even if I was a loser vampire, I could still do shit) I could count cards, manipulate the dice and freak-out the other poker players. I was having a fucking great time with Marcus. He was one cool vampire. I think Jasper and Emmett would dig this guy.

"Eddie...er, can I asssk ya a question," he slurred.

"Yep," I popped the p. I know lame.

"Er, how come ya wanna marry a human?"

I scratched my head and pushed another button on the slot machine. I had no control over this fucking machine. I kept pushing this stupid button and nothing was happening. Dumb shitty machine. How were you supposed to win on this thing?

"Eddie?"

"Huh, oh yeah, what was the question?"

"Why ya wanna hook up with a human?"

"Oh that..." I rolled my eyes. "She's my la two cantestant...no uh, la two cats...um cats," I laughed. She was my pussy. Oh fuck I'm really drunk. I hope I'm not saying this shit out loud. "She's my fucking blood singer."

"Seriously?" Marcus asked. "Whoa! How come ya haven't killed her."

"I have speshal skillz, man," I grinned and ran my tongue over my teeth. "And I really haven't sunk my fangs into her yet. I mean not fully, just snuck a few tastes."

"But, fuck, to find your blood singer," Marcus said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, it's pure fucking torture, but she's more than my singer...she's, she's my Bella." That sounded like I was a whipped puppy. I was a whipped puppy. My kitty ruled the roost. Jeezus...

I leaned against the machine and it started playing some fucking song. "Oooo, look Marcus I won twenty dollars."

"Good for you Eddie...er..." Marcus leaned against me and tossed back the rest of his drink. He grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me close to him. "Fuck, here comes Felix. I'm a dead man."

"Hello boys," Felix drawled. I couldn't tell if he was pissed as fuck or happy to see us, but Marcus was now standing rigid, looking like someone shoved a stick up his ass.

I burst out laughing and clapped Felix on the back. "Felix! I seem to have lost my intended. Have ya seen her anywhere?" I stumbled and pushed another button on that fucking noisy ass slot machine. This time it didn't play any music. I scowled at it.

"She is waiting for you up in your suite," Felix said firmly.

"Really? Is she gonna stake me?" I whispered into his ear and leaned heavily on him. "Oh and don't be pissed off at Marcus. He's a great guy and a vampire. Didya know that? Anyway, none of this was his fault. Well, okay, he brought me the drinks and ya know, that fucking Stoli is pretty fucking good. I need to get out more. I didn't think people like us were supposed to drink booze."

Both Felix and Marcus groaned.

"What," I asked. "This is only the second time in my life I've had drink."

"Is he serious," Marcus asked Felix. Felix just shrugged his shoulders and started to steer me off the casino floor.

"Hey wait, I didn't cash out," I said, grabbing at the machine.

"Marcus will take care of everything. Right now, you need to get up to that suite and fix things with Bella," Felix said sternly.

"Oh shit, is she pissed off at me? That's a stupid question. Of course she fricking pissed. I left her at the marriage license closet this afternoon and now I'm drunk. Felix, maybe you betta get me anutha room.

I need anutha Stolie. Pleazzze, if I'm gonna get staked, I really don't want to feel it happen."

"Edward, you don't need another drink," Felix said as he pushed me into the elevator.

The blasted walls were closing in on me again. Great another panic attack.

"Edward," Felix snapped. "Calm down."

"Right, calm down," I said as I paced around the elevator. "You're not the one who's gonna get staked. God, I hope it doesn't hurt too much."

Felix snorted. The door finally opened and Felix pushed me out, dragging me down to my suite. He slid a key card into the slot and the door clicked open. He shoved me into the room and closed the door behind him, leaving me to face Bella alone.

Fuck!

Bella was sitting on the couch staring at the TV, which wasn't even on. Maybe she was sleeping with her eyes open and I could go throw up in peace.

"Er, hi Bella," I said.

She slowly turned her head to me. If looks could kill. I know cliché, but holy hell, the look in her eyes, I swear she was shooting death rays at me. This was worse than yelling. I fucking wanting yelling. Silence with evil glares is bad.

"Sorry?" It came out as a fucking question. Bella's face turned a really dark shade of purple. "Uh, Bella, maybe you should breathe."

"Edward, I swear to god if you kept talking, I'm going to kill you."

"Right, Sorry about that...oh fuck, I'm not supposed to talk." My hand flew up to cover my mouth.

"What the fuck, Edward. Leaving me standing in that fucking office with Alice and Jasper." she spluttered.

"Sorry," I whined.

"Fuck Cullen, quit saying sorry."

"But I am. I didn't know what to do and then when you didn't come out, I just needed to get the fuck out of there. I can't do anything right," I was seriously whining right now. It was really annoying.

Bella growled.

Oooh, that was sorta sexy, in a menacing way.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, your name just rollsss off my tongue," I giggled. Fuck. Where the hell did that shit come from? It had to be the Stoli talking. "Uh, sorry, I've been drinking."

Bella signaled for me to come over to the couch. I complied, but I sat on the far end of the couch, just in case she was hiding a stake in her bra or something.

She sighed. "Edward, let's just throw everything on the table. I need the truth from you about everything."

"I don't think you can handle the truth," I laughed. "Hey, isn't that a line from a movie?" I stood up and started pacing around the room shouting a bit. "You can't handle the truth..er something about walls being guarded by men with guns...blah, blah, blah..." I stared at Bella for a few seconds. "Uh, I forgot what we were talking about."

"Christ Edward, focus a little. You and me, that's what we were talking about."

"You and me," I said smiling. I scooped her up and planted a big wet sloppy kiss on her mouth. Bella groaned and pushed away from me, sliding down my body.

"C'mon Cullen, before I marry you, I wanna know your secrets. All of them, so spill."

I looked her straight in the eye. Okay I may have been swaying a bit from all the alcohol, but she wasn't much better.

"Bella," I tried to sound really serious, like an adult. I think my voice was deeper. "Bella, I'm a vampire."

She burst out laughing, dropping down to the floor.

"Stop doing that! You're not supposed to laugh," I grumbled sitting down next to her.

She eyed me suspiciously. "Prove it!"

My eyes popped open when she thrust her wrist under my nose. I pushed her arm away. "That might not be such a good idea right now. I don't think I'm really in control of myself."

"Chicken, Cullen," she said challenging me. She waved her wrist under my nose again.

"Fuck you Swan! I'm just not hungry," I said tightening my jaw and raising my nose at her. I wonder if she even noticed I hadn't taken a breath since she started waving her body parts in front of me.

"I dare you Cullen. No wait, I double dog dare you." She gave me an evil grin and held out her wrist again.

"What the fuck is a double dog dare?"

"What?" She shouted in my face. "You are really a chicken shit. You and your high and mighty fucking vampire talk. Christ Edward. If ..."

(she kinda stressed the word if)

"If we get married, you are gonna give up all this vampire talk."

I could feel a growl building up in my chest. All my senses were on high alert. Well, as high as they could be when my body was filled with blood and Stoli. Venom filled my mouth. Hmmm, it sorta burned like the Stoli. Venom laced with vodka. Could be the start of a new fad. Oh fuck, my mind was wandering off on its own somewhere.

"Well," Bella poked me in the chest, making me focus in on her again. Fuck, she was really hot when she was pissed. What the fuck was she mad about again. "I'm waiting big bad vampire."

Oh right fake vampire shit and then, without warning the big bad vampire came out of hiding and grabbed Bella's wrist. I licked it a few times, before sinking my real vampire fangs into her skin.

Her eyes widened and her breathing increased. I kept my eyes fixed on hers, growling a few times for good measure. Her head fell back and I knew the venom was moving into her system. She arched her back and groaned. I watched as her hand fell down to her pussy and she stroked herself through the fabric of her jeans. I dropped her wrist, letting some of her blood dribble down the corner of my mouth.

Bella gaped at the holes in her wrist and the little drops of blood. She snarled at me and tackled me, pushing me back on the floor. She was soon straddling me. To say I was fucking shocked would be an understatement. I thought the sight of her blood running from my lips would send her running into the sunset. Instead she stared at me like I was a fucking sandwich. She licked the side of my mouth, tasting her blood. She started sucking and licking my lips, cleaning all the blood off. I normally wasn't that much of a slob, but I had done it to prove a point to her once and for all. I was sick of that fake vampire shit.

Her hands were running all over my body. She stopped and yanked on the button of my pants. Everything was frantic. I was so turned on I could barely think. Clothes were flying everywhere. I didn't know who was taking off what and right now I didn't give a flying fuck. I needed skin. I needed to fucking bite her again. I needed to be buried balls deep in her pussy.

I felt her nipping me everywhere. I swear it felt like my skin was on fire. She licked around my pebbled nipple, sucking and then she bit down. My back arched up and I grabbed her around the waist, crushing her too my body.

"Bella, fuck, I need you," I begged.

"Do it again, Cullen," she said thrusting her hips into my rigid dick and her wrist into my mouth.

"No, not like that," I stammered and moved her hair away from her throat.

"Oh my fuck, yes," she shouted, throwing her head back and exposing more of that luscious throat.

I was too far gone to care about anything. Her blood was calling to me. Calling? It was fucking screeching and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Bella," I said as positioned my dick at her entrance, pushing into her slowly. Oh fuck, she felt so great. I would never tire of this. At first I set a nice easy pace, trying to hang onto what little sanity I had left. I hovered over her, watching as she writhed beneath me.

"C'mon Cullen, vampire up and bite me again. I've never felt anything like that before."

Who was I to refuse my fiancee? I leaned in, sniffing her collarbone, dragging my nose up her skin until I reached the juiciest part of her neck. The thrumming of her blood was pounding in my ears and her scent stung my nose as I inhaled deep breaths of her essence.

Hr hips were banging against mine as she tried to find the friction she needed to get off. I groaned and then lost my shit, sinking my teeth into her soft ripe neck. She screamed and ground harder against me.

"Ohmyfuck," Bella's hoarse whisper found it's way through the loud sucking noises I was making. Bella was clawing at my back and making all sorts of hot growling noises.

"Harder," she screamed in my ear. I didn't know if she wanted me to fuck her harder or bite her harder, so I did both.

"I love you Bella," I murmured between slurps.

"Burning," she screamed and came hard, making me cum seconds after her orgasm. I came so fucking hard my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I forgot where I was and what I was doing.

She yelled my name, bringing me back to the present and then all her muscles tightened. She screamed so loud I think the entire strip could hear her. A hot flash ran through me shooting right into her and then her entire body went limp.

"Guess you were real after all," she mumbled. I watched her eyes close and all her muscles contract again. She looked like she was having a seizure.

"Bella," I yelled, shaking her. She went totally limp. What the fuck? I ran my hand across her abdomen. She felt really hot.

Slowly what was happening seeped into my brain. Oh god, oh god what the fuck did I do? Panic filled me. This isn't happening. She's just sleeping. I reached around her body, pulling her to my chest. She felt like a rag doll. I rocked her, speaking to her in soothing tones, trying to get her to relax or maybe it was me that I was trying to calm down. I felt another surge of heat run through her body again. She screamed again.

"Bella, oh fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Oh fuck, I don't know what to do?"

Had I condemned her to death or condemned her to an existence as a vampire?

I laid her down, untangling myself from her and started pacing around the floor. She was whimpering. The burning must be starting. Fuck, what should I do? Being a fucking worthless vampire, I called my sister and brother.

"Alice," I whispered into the phone.

"What is it Edward?"

"Shhhh, not so loud," I snarled. "We have to postpone the wedding."

Wait I didn't even know if there was a wedding. Why the hell was I telling Alice this?

"What did you do now Edward? Jeez,we leave you alone for an hour and you screw things up again," she huffed. "I'll be right there."

"No...uh, Alice? Hello? No, you don't need to...fucking hello?" I slammed the phone on the table. I could hear Bella moaning agin.

Hoy fuck! Everyone was going to kill me, including my new born fiancee...**if** she made it through the change.

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**WELL? Toasting you all with a glass of Stoli! Yeah, I'm not adding blood to my Stoli though! Let me know what you think. I'll share my Stoli if ya review...This chapter about did me in, until my inner durty girl came out again. One of my h00rs got to see Jackson up close and personal. I think her pics brought the durty girl out of hiding. I did try to reply to the reviews this week, but I know I forgot a few peeps. Thanks for reading, adding this story to your favs and rec'ing and pimping it. You all are AWESOME...And I'm outta here. Until next Friday! ARgh...I got another blank computer screen staring at me. DRIZL**


	26. Let's Play a Drinking Game

**Well, holy hell another chapter in the books...probably one or two left...Ya'll know I don't follow an outline, so it's whatever Edward decides. I bet S Meyer wrote with an outline, but I'm not her...surprise...ya know I haven't told anyone lately that this is a rated M fic for nasty language and lemons. My Edward likes to say fuck a lot...I just use it to add to my word count...BWHAHAHAHA...Hey we could play a drinking game...Every time Edward says fuck you have to take a shot...I wouldn't make it through the first paragraph...okay, I'm really tired and a little punchy...let's read! **

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**Let's Play a Drinking Game**

**Chapter 26**

_"No...uh, Alice? Hello? No, you don't need to...fucking hello?" I slammed the phone on the table. I could hear Bella moaning agin._

_Hoy fuck! Everyone was going to kill me, including my new born fiancee..._**_if_**_ she made it through the change._

I paced around the room until I felt like I was wearing a fucking trench six feet deep in the carpet. What the hell was I going to do? Alice and Jasper were going to have my head. Oh God, Carlisle was going to freak and Bella...Well, if she survived, I didn't know what the hell she was going to do to me. What if she left? Fuck, she was going to be a crazed newborn. I didn't know if I could handle that shit. My first year as a vamp didn't exactly go all that smooth. I was a raging blood loving fucking sex machine and believe me, it wasn't that easy at the turn of the century. One had to do an awful lot of fucking talking before those chicks would let you into their knickers. Let's just say things are a lot easier in this day and age.

Christ, what the hell am I saying? Nothing about Bella was ever easy and it certainly wasn't going to get any better. Even if she did survive she was going to be really pissed at me. I heard her whimper in the other room. I was definitely going to need something to get me through this. A small light clicked on in my head. Oooh, I know, maybe a drink would calm me down. Yep, I needed another drink. Marcus was a really a bad, or maybe he was a good influence on me. I could figure that out later, after I had several more drinks. I headed over to the mini bar in search of more Stoli and blood. I actually considered bypassing the blood and just doing shots of Stoli.

I opened the mini bar and squealed like a school girl when I saw the bottles of blood and sitting right next to it was a few bottles of Stoli. Wow, something had actually gone right. I mixed the drink and tossed it back. I could hear Bella quietly moaning again so I mixed another drink.

"Edward," Alice snapped.

I almost dropped my drink. How the hell did she sneak in here? I quickly emptied my drink down my throat. I didn't want her to take it away from me.

Another low moan came from the bedroom.

Jasper stepped out from behind Alice and cocked an eyebrow at me. I quickly looked away from him.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "What did you do Edward," she hissed.

"Er, um...well...I'm not exactly one hundred percent positive, but I may have..." I hesitated.

"Spit it out Edward!" She shouted.

This time a shrill squeal came from the bedroom.

"Oh my God, tell me you didn't," Alice shrieked.

"Like I said...I er...I'm not positive?"

Fuck this interrogation shit, I needed another drink.

"JesusChrist Edward, you better hope Bella has the flu or something!" Alice stomped by me, punching me in the arm as she passed. Jasper was still staring at me. I ignored him and headed back to the mini bar and quickly refilled my glass.

"What ya drinking little bro?"

"Erm, blood..." I said, turning away from him as I downed the drink. Things were starting to feel a little better. Actually I couldn't feel much of anything. Another screech came out of the bedroom. This time it was from Alice.

"Holy hell, Edward, Bella has started the change. At least I think that's what's going on. I'm going to have to call Carlisle. How..how could you let...oh for christ sakes," she shouted and came storming over to me, grabbing the drink out of my hand and slamming it down before I could tell her that it was not just plain old blood. She sputtered and almost spit the drink out, glaring at me as she whipped out her cell phone.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder giving me a sharp squeeze. I didn't know if that was meant to make me feel better or warn me that the shit was about to hit the fan.

I went back into the bedroom to check on Bella. She was curled up in a little ball in the middle of the bed. She looked really small and it kinda made my stomach hurt to look at her. I had done this to her, without her permission. I'm such a fucking idiot. I had the sudden urge to crawl in bed next to her, but Jasper was watching me and I already looked like a whipped puppy. I sat down and rubbed her leg. Her skin was on fire. I wondered if that was normal. I had never seen anyone change before.

Jasper cleared his throat and came to stand by me. I waited for him to snap a snide remark at me.

"Edward, she'll be fine." His voice was steady and made me feel a little better. When Jasper wasn't trying to drive me insane he could be a decent guy. "Come on, let her rest."

I moved to stand up when I felt Bella's fingers curl around my wrist. Her eyes snapped open and she glared at me.

"What the fuck did you do to me Edward," she demanded with a raspy voice.

"Er..."

She sat up and grabbed the collar of my shirt. I could see a slight tinge of red flash in her eyes. "You better come up with something better than that Edward."

"Um..." Shit that wasn't any better.

"Oowwww," she howled and collapsed back on the bed, pulling me down with her. Fuck, she was already really strong. She was going to kill me when she finished with the change. No, she as probably going to rip by balls off or something just as horrible. Killing would be too simple and less painful.

"Uh, you're hurting me Bella," I grimaced.

Her eyes widened. "Where's Alice? Get the fuck out of here Edward, before I _really_ hurt you."

She released her grip on me and I jumped away from her. Was she seriously kicking me out? I looked back at her and her red eyes shot daggers at me.

"You're in deep shit Edward," Jasper said.

"Fine Bella, whatever," I said pouting a bit. "For what it's worth, I am sorry."

She didn't say anything and when I looked at her again, she had laid back down on the bed, closing her eyes.

"Alice, Bella's asking for you," I said as I stalked out of the bedroom.

"She talked to you?"

"Well, more like threatened and yelled," I said.

"Hmmm, that's interesting."

She glanced from me to Jasper. Jasper just shrugged his shoulders. Alice waved us away and returned to her phone conversation. My bet was she was talking to Carlisle about everything.

Before I could think about this shit anymore I raced back to the mini bar and took out another bottle of blood and the last bottle of Stoli. I might have to call Marcus or Felix to restock our bar.

"Can I taste that," Jasper asked.

"Haven't you ever drank before?" I said like I was some master connoisseur or something. I'd gotten drunk once before and that was by accident. This was the first day I ever had ever chosen to have a drink and get drunk on purpose.

"Uh, not since I was human," he said. "I didn't really know we could drink."

Wow, I've done something Jasper hasn't tried as a vampire. I puffed my chest out and handed him a glass, filling it with blood and Stoli.

"Cheers," he said and tipped the glass to his lips. "Wow, kinda burns a little, but not bad. Hit me again."

I obliged and filled a glass for me as well. Alice peeked out of the bedroom and scowled at us. "Carlisle and Esme are on their way. I'm calling Emmett and Rosalie too. Might as well make this a big family celebration."

Bella squealed again and Alice flipped us off before she went back into the bedroom.

"Hey, since you've been banned from the bedroom, let's go hit the casino," Jasper drawled. His accent seemed to be thicker than usual.

"Fine," I growled, downing the last of my drink.

"Wait," Jasper said. "Maybe I should have another one for the road."

"I'm out of Stoli."

"So is that the booze you mixed the blood with?"

"Yes, it's Russian Vodka."

"Hmmm, not bad," he said smacking his lips. "Let's get out of here. I gotta stop in our room first."

What the hell could Jasper need in his room. As soon as we stepped into his suite I wanted to turn around. That fucking silver cape was laid out in all its sparkly glory. Jasper darted to the bed and quickly swung it around his shoulders.

"You're fucking kidding right?"

"What's wrong Edward? This is Vegas ya know. I need a little flash."

"A little flash. Fuck you're like a neon sign, but it's no skin off my teeth if you want to look like fucking Liberace," I said rolling my eyes.

Marcus was standing at the end of the hall when Jasper and I stepped out of his room. His eyes widened a bit, but I'll give the guy credit, he didn't utter a word. He just nodded at us and slipped in the elevator, pushing the button for the main floor.

"Marcus this is Jasper, my brother," I said.

"Hey nice to meet you," Jasper said as they shook hands.

"Can you join us," I asked.

"Naw, I'm on duty tonight," Marcus said frowning. "Nice cape by the way." I knew he wouldn't make it to the main floor with a comment or two.

Jasper just grinned, knealt down and spread it out like fucking Elvis at the end of his performance. Oh gawd, I was going to die of embarrassment.

The elevator doors slid open and Marcus stepped out.

"You guys have fun. If you need any drinks talk to Jake over there." He motioned to a dark haired guy. "He'll set you up. Just let him know where you'll be and he'll have your drinks sent over to you."

"Fuck, thanks Marcus," I said, shaking his hand vigorously. Marcus left us standing in the middle of the casino floor. I suddenly felt like an idiot when a bunch of fucking giggly girls spotted me and Jasper. Pretty soon I felt like the entire casino was gawking at my brother and his fucking silver flaming vampire cape. What the hell was he thinking?

Several minutes later and he was surrounded by a horde of chicks wanting to have their pictures taken with him. They were climbing all over him, running their fingers through his blond curls and caressing his...fuck this was kind of hot and all sorts of wrong. Holy shit, maybe he should start charging everyone. They all probably thought he was some sort of manwhore.

I sighed and figured I better call Alice to check in on Bella. This was going to be one fucking long weekend. I thought I was coming here to get married and now I was hanging out with a sparkly imitation of batman while my girlfriend was up in our suite fighting for her life. I was a fucking asshole.

"Hi Alice. It's me Edward. What's going on? I don't know what came over me, but I should come back upstairs. I did this to her and it should be me up there with her. You should be having fun with Jasper. I'm a fucking asshole. Please, just tell me what's going on," I sputtered into the phone.

"Are you done," Alice asked.

"Yes, sorry about that," I answered sheepishly.

"Bella is doing okay. We had a little conversation and for right now, she would rather you hang out with Jasper."

My stomach clenched up and whirled around a bit. I didn't know if it was the booze or that Bella didn't want me up there with her.

I cleared my throat. "She hates me doesn't she?"

"No, she doesn't hate you. She's a little pissed and embarrassed, but she'll be okay after it's over."

"It's going to be bad isn't it?"

"Carlisle will be here soon and he'll know what to do," Alice said. "I've got to go. Keep an eye on Jasper and don't let him wear his cape."

"Too late," I said.

I heard her groan and then my phone went dead. I didn't really know what to do. A part of me wanted to rush upstairs and hold Bella in my arms until the change was complete. The smarter part of me was scared shitless of this newborn vampire and his equally mean sister. It would probably be safer for me to stay with Jasper.

Jasper tugged on my sleeve. "Quit thinking so much. Alice will call if Bella wants you. Let's go get another one of those drinks."

I let Jasper drag me over to the bar. We hung out for a little while talking and before I realized it, Jasper and I were on our way to getting stumbling ass drunk. Every so often I noticed Marcus out of the corner of my eye. He must be our babysitter for the evening. It wasn't like we were in hiding or anything. We couldn't even blend into the crowd since Jasper insisted on wearing that stupid ass silver cape.

Finally we'd had enough of sitting on barstools, so we decided to check out one of the casino bars.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," Jasper said with a lopsided grin. I wanted to punch him in the fucking face or kiss him for hanging out with me. I wasn't exactly sure what the fuck I wanted anymore.

"You sound like a goddamn television commercial," I grumbled as he pulled me into a really noisy lounge. One of the servers looped her arm through Jasper's arm and led us to a table close to the stage. A few minutes later a long parade of young women were lining up on the stage.

"Hey, we could pretend this is your bachelor party. I'm going to text Emmett and find out where the fuck they are," Jasper said. "He should be here for this shit."

"Whatever," I shrugged. I was at my wits end. Bella was upstairs _changing_ and I was hanging out a bar getting drunk with Jasper, but it wasn't my fault. Bella had thrown me out and then Alice had thrown us out.

A lady came over and dropped a couple drinks at our table. "It's all been taken care of boys," she said rubbing her tits in my face.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

The bar was getting really loud. The guys were whistling and shouting rude remarks at the chicks on stage. Both Jasper and I looked up at the stage at the same time. It must be some sort of wet t-shirt contest going on because a dude started pouring pitchers of water over these girls' boobs.

I let my eyes wander down the line of women. And then everything started moving in slow motion.

Jasper grabbed my arm and I had to grip the edge of the table. We watched in absolute horror as the next woman got a pitcher dumped on her. Jasper's mouth was hanging wide open and I was trying to crawl under the table. The woman then proceeded to lift her shirt up and flash the entire bar.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Someone, anyone please stake me now. Mrs. Shelly Cope just flashed the entire bar along with me and Jasper. I may have to pour bleach in my eyes. Erm, I had to say that because she really had nice tits, but thinking that about your teacher...Holy fuck, I definitely needed another drink.

"Jasper," I gasped. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

He slowly nodded, but didn't move out of his chair. I think he was in shock.

I finally got him to stand up and some guy grabbed my arm, screaming about the awesome rack on that chick. A couple other guys were whistling and shouting about beautiful boobs. Jasper and I were getting pushed up toward the stage by a throng of fucking horny men. I cringed when she looked down at us.

"Uh, hey Mrs. Cope..um..." I ran my hand through my hair. I half expected a handful of it to come out.

"Oh fuck," she shouted. "What the hell are you doing here?"

At this minute I wasn't exactly sure.

She let a long breath out and walked off the stage, grabbing a towel from the bartender. A lot of the guys in the audience booed.

"How long have you two been here?"

Jasper came out of his coma and started laughing so hard he could barely stand anymore. I just said a silent prayer that he would keep his big fat mouth shut. I didn't want to think about Mrs. Cope flashing her tits ever again, even if they were nice.

"You don't want to know," I finally said.

Her eyes widened and she let her head drop to the bar.

"It never happened," I shouted. "We were never here!"

I grabbed Jasper by the collar and tried to pull him out of the bar.

"Edward's getting married tomorrow...you should come," Jasper shouted as I pulled him up to the casino.

"Shut the fuck up you moron," I hissed in his ear. "We don't even know if there's gonna be a wedding."

"Oh right," Jasper nodded.

"Wait, did Jasper just say you were getting married?" Mrs. Cope asked.

"No, he's drunk. Just ignore him."

"Whatthefuck, Eddie...you tole me you were getting married tomorrow. This is your bachelor's party. Where the hell is Emmett."

"Jaz, please, just shut up," I begged.

Mrs. Cope's eyebrow shot up. "Edward, did you bring Bella here to get married."

Fuck she was morphing back into teacher mode. I didn't need this right now.

"No, Jasper doesn't know what the fu..uh, hell he's talking about. We really should go. We shouldn't even be here...underage ya know."

Mrs. Cope just stared at us. I couldn't help but notice when the towel slipped off her shoulder so I got another eyeful of wet teacher boob. She groaned and yanked the towel back up.

Jasper draped his arm and that stupid cape over my shoulders. He leaned on me so hard I almost lost my balance. I managed to stay upright by grabbing the stairway railing. I focused my eyes on hers and tried to vamp voodoo Mrs. Cope into forgetting we were ever here. Obviously that shit doesn't work when you're drunk.

Dammit to hell!

"Please, Mrs. Cope, let's just pretend this never happened," I said raising an eyebrow at her.

Her face turned bright red and she got my hint.

"Right, consider us even" she said, looking down at my dick before disappearing back into the crowd of hot, sweaty guys.

Goddamn Jasper. Goddamn Mrs. Cope. Goddamn Bella. My damning list was getting really long.

Jasper was still laughing his fucking head off, the bastard. If I didn't get him out of here he would be rolling on the floor and then we'd get arrested. No, he wouldn't get in trouble. It would be me who would be led out of here wearing steel bracelets.

"Jasper, let's go back up...if I fucking drink anymore, I may puke and I really don't want to experience that again. Once was definitely enough for that shit." I shivered.

His phone buzzed.

"Who's it from," I asked. I noticed I had another drink in my hand. Where the fuck had that come from?

"Emmett's here," Jasper said. "That must mean everyone else is here."

My stomach felt like a stampede of elephants just ran through it. I gulped the drink in my hand. Okay, now along with the elephants stamping around in my gut, I seemed to have gotten on some spinning ride. It must be that same one that was at the dance.

"Eddie, ya'll okay?"

"Ahhh, no," I stammered. "Jaz, you have like six eyes. Hey, last time I got drunk. I could fucking talk like you."

He giggled. Jasper giggled. Hehehe. Oh, fuck, now I'm giggling.

"Eddie, you could never be as cool as me. I have a cape," he said twirling around. "Hi ya'll." Jasper waved. We seemed to have attracted an audience again.

"Hey Edward, Jasper, I think we need to get you both upstairs," Marcus said.

I snorted. "Yeah, I should ya know check on my girlfriend. She's gonna kill me. Oh god, Marcus, could ya make the room stop spinning?"

"Sure Edward come on let's go upstairs."

Marcus grabbed Jasper by his cape and me by my arm and hauled us to the elevator. I got out at the second floor. Who the fuck invented a spinning elevator? They were supposed to go up and down not sideways and around in circles.

Marcus was mumbling something about not getting paid enough for this shit.

"Hey, this is your fault," I hissed and poked him in the chest which was hard to do because he was trying to hold my brother up.

"C'mon," Marcus grumbled. "It's going to take forever to walk up all these flights of stairs."

"Fuck it! Just throw Jasper on my back. I can...er...what are we doing again? Hey I thought Emmett was here. Where the fuck is he? I'm gonna call him."

"Hey Emmett," I yelled. Why was I fucking hollering into the phone. "Come get me. I'm in the stairwell with Jasper. We're stuck."

Marcus grabbed the phone out of my hand. He set Jasper down on the stairs next to me. Jasper leaned against me. He sounded like he was snoring. I nudged him.

"Edward, I'm pretending to be sleeping cuz if I'm awake I'm gonna puke all over you."

"Right sorry...Lullaby and goodnight...hush little baby don't you cry...er, lullaby go to sleep...La..La..La.."

"Shut the fuck up, Eddie! I mean it," Jasper growled.

The door creaked open. "Hi Emmett," I said jumping up to greet him. Jasper slid down the two steps.

"Wow, you two are really fucked up," Emmett said. "You must be Marcus. I can take it from here. Thanks for all your help."

Marcus couldn't get away from us fast enough.

"Hey Emmett. I changed Bella," I snickered.

"So I heard. You are such a douche bag, Edward."

I watched as he put Jasper on his back. He grabbed my arm and started pulling us all up the stairs.

"I know right. I am a douche bag. That's not good is it? Emmett you're pulling my arm out of the socket. Let me sit for a second. I'm such a fucking asshole. God, Bella's gonna hate me. I love her ya know."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Edward, please let's go upstairs now."

Jeez he seemed a little pissed off.

"Fucking hell, drunk vampires," he mumbled.

We finally made it up to my suite. We did have to stop several more times so I could sit down. I swear those fucking stairs were twirling around trying to trip me up. Then it took me a few times before I finally slid the key card in that little slot. Either the card was bent or the slot shrank.

Everyone was staring at me when I opened the door including a pair of chocolate brown eyes rimmed with red. Holy fucking shit, I was a dead man.

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**Ah yes, the infamous Mrs. Cope returns...and Jasper with his cape, just becuz some of ya asked about the cape (and really cuz I want Jasper in the closet with his cape mwuahahaha) So, if you would be so kind...if you like this story...give this pervy girl a little love...this writing shizz is hard fucking work and I get paid with reviews. I'm a poor muthafucker! Okay sorry for the begging...I know...so not cool. Seriously though, it's been a blast writing this story. Oh, and the reason I sent Edward and Jasper out of the room was I didn't really think you guys would want to just sit around watching Bella go through the change. I hope I was right...Until next Friday...I'm outta here...Drizl **


	27. Never Turn Your Back on Your Enemy

**Good day...it seems to be Friday again...Guess what...this fic is still rated M for Mature...I find that sorta funny because this is definitely not a mature piece of writing...hahahaha...yeah, anyway...this story is filled with nasty speak and dirty lemons becuz that's how I roll. And now...on with the story! PS I couldn't think of a title for this chapter so I used a line from one of my fav parts in Eclipse...Jasper fight training scene...WOOT! ER, let's read! **

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**Never Turn Your Back on Your Enemy**

**Chapter 27**

_We finally made it up to my suite. We did have to stop several more times so I could sit down. I swear those fucking stairs were twirling around trying to trip me up. Then it took me a few times before I finally slid the key card in that little slot. Either the card was bent or the slot shrank._

_Everyone was staring at me when I opened the door including a pair of chocolate brown eyes rimmed with red. Holy fucking shit, I was a dead man. _

As we stepped or rather stumbled into the room, it went totally quiet. That is just never a good thing. When have you ever walked into a room where everyone looks at you and shuts the fuck up. Christ. I suddenly wished for another drink.

"I found them," Emmett stated the obvious.

"Where the fuck have you two been," Alice shouted.

"You-you told us to get out," I spluttered. Why the hell was she so pissed at us? Fucking chicks, no matter what I did, it was always the wrong thing. I sighed. Sighing was such a regular occurrence now that I didn't even question it anymore. It was part of who I was, especially when I was around Bella.

"Hi Alice baby, "Jasper said popping out from behind me and waggling his fingers at Alice. I was treated to an icy glare from Alice.

"Shut the fuck up Jasper," I growled. We were in enough trouble without everyone knowing how drunk we were. Besides Alice was going to have my balls on a silver platter because she was going to blame Jasper's drunkness on me and she had told me not to let Jasper wear his cape. I tried unsuccessfully to push him and his fucking cape back behind me.

"Eddie," he whined. "Stop pushing me."

"Jasper, please, we're in enough hot water."

"Ooooh, are we gonna go in the hot tub?" Jasper threw the cape to the floor and started to unbuckle his belt. "Let's get naked."

Fuck this was going to give us away. Jasper started wiggling his ass, like he was getting ready for a strip tease. This was almost as bad as the wet t-shirt contest.

"What? Hot tub? No..." I stuttered and raked my hand through my hair. This was getting out of control.

"Why not?" Jasper's belt was now on the floor and he had moved to unzip his jeans.

"Fuck Jasper, shut up will ya and quit stripping we're not going in the hot tub," I grumbled as he moved to unbutton his shirt. His pants were hanging haphazardly on his hips. One quick jerk and Jasper would be flashing everyone.

"Stripping..." He burst out laughing, clapping Emmett on the back. "Do you know Mrs. Cope is here. She flashed us her tits..."

Emmett snorted. "No shit? Mrs. Cope flashed you dorks her tits. God, I miss all the fun."

"Emmett you better take that shit back," Rosalie shouted.

Where the fuck had she come from? Oooh, and look Bella's here. She looks different, hotter. Did someone turn on the heat in this room? Holy fuck maybe Jasper had the right idea. I should take my clothes off.

"Hey Bella...how **you** doing?" Oh my fuck, I sounded like that guy from um, that show...er, yeah.

Bella stood up and stalked toward me. Emmett stepped in front of her, blocking her path. She tossed him out of the way like he was a piece of trash. I backed up and smacked into the wall.

"Edward, you...you...you fucker!"

"What? Why are you yelling at me?"

"I can't believe you never told me, that you were a fucking vampire," she fumed.

"Hey, I tried several times to tell you, but you wouldn't listen to me. I wanted to tell you when we were playing baseball but that's when you told me everyone thought I was a fake vampire. What the fuck was I supposed to say to that. No one has ever called me a fake vampire. And then I told you after we had been in your front yard, ya know after I sparkled and when I asked you to er, marry me. We had a freaking long conversation about the vampire thing. You chose to ignore it and make fun of me again.

"And you, you were the one who was yelling out 'mark me' and all that shit. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Obviously this is your fault," I snorted. Yeah her fault. I think I stuck my tongue out at her.

Fuck! Goddamn Bella Swan.

Her eyebrows raised and I could tell she didn't know what to do. Apparently my childish gesture had confused her. Ha! Maybe drinking raised my game level. Bella reached out and cuffed me upside the head.

"What the hell was that for," I shouted. Jeez, I should keep my mouth shut. I could deal with a slap to the head when she could probably rip my head from my shoulders.

"Good one, Bella. Do it again. I've wanted to do that all night," Jasper said.

"No one wants your opinion Jasper," I said, sneering at him.

He lunged at me and it was on. We were rolling around on the floor like two sworn enemies in the school yard. He pulled my hair. The dirty little fucker actually pulled my hair.

"Ouch, you son of a bitch," I shouted, jumping to my feet. Jasper stood up and I yanked on his pants so they ended up down around his knees. He lost his balance and sat down hard. I snickered and started to strut away from him. He grabbed my ankle, sending me sprawling face first into the carpet.

"Umf, you ass," I snarled and did what any normal pissed off vampire would do in this situation, I grabbed his arm and bit him on the wrist.

"Fuck Eddie, that's cheatin', there's no biting allowed," he howled.

"Fuck you," I screamed and bit him again. I know, I know...but he pissed me off and I didn't know what else to do.

"My money is on Jasper," Emmett snickered.

"I don't know," Rosalie said. "If dirty fighting is allowed I'll take Edward."

Jasper had managed to roll over on top of me and sit up, pinning my arms to my side. "Stop fucking biting you shit."

Somehow I managed to twist my leg and flip us over. In the process I brought my knee down on his junk.

"Motherfucker," Jasper gasped and grabbed his crotch.

"Hey Edward, I'm going to hurt you if you damage the goods," Alice shrieked.

Jasper was doing a great job winning favor and sympathy from the audience. I should have been paying attention to the slimy bastard. I stood up and before I knew what was happening Jasper had grabbed me and thrown me to the ground. "Never turn your back on your enemy," he snarled and then smacked me upside the head...Twice!

"Oh for Christ sakes, knock it off," Bella shouted and grabbed both of us by the collars, slamming us up against the wall.

"Unf," we both grunted.

"Apologize or I'll crack your heads together," she yelled.

Fuck, pissed off vampire Bella was hot. I could feel the tell-tale signs of a raging erection forming. Fuck no...I turned my head and focused on almost-nude Jasper. Awww, thank god for dumb ass brothers. I sighed...yes, again...as my cock went flaccid.

"Sorry," we both mumbled as Bella dropped us to the floor.

"Are you boys done with the bullshit," Carlisle asked.

When did he get here? Was the whole stinking family hiding in my suite? This was only supposed to be me and Bella getting married but since I had fucked that whole thing up, I probably deserved all this crap. And how in the fuck had Bella changed so fast? Was she changed? She wasn't acting like any newborn I had ever seen. They were usually stark raving mad and trying to sink their teeth into everything. Oh, I had something she could sink her teeth into. Fucking hell, my hard-on was coming back.

"So Edward, I see you have introduced Jasper to alcohol," Carlisle said.

I groaned. "No, I think they already knew each other."

Jasper started laughing hysterically and Carlisle rolled his eyes at me. I think everyone else groaned. Hey I thought it was fucking funny. Maybe I should introduce them all to Mr. Stoli. He was a pretty cool guy and I think everyone could use an introduction to help them loosen up, especially Rosalie she always seemed to have a stick up her ass.

Shit, didn't they know it was party time. We were in Vegas and I was getting married. Er...well, I wasn't too sure about that one. I would have to ask. God, there were so many questions I needed answers to, but right now I couldn't remember any of them. My fucking buzz was starting to wear off and all of a sudden I had an overwhelming need to sit down. It was either sit or grab the garbage can and hurl. Someone had started that godforsaken spinning carnival ride again. That fucker could turn on with the blink of an eye. Jasper had crawled over to the couch so I joined him. He must have jumped on the ride too.

"Fuck, I wish I could pass out," Jasper moaned, leaning into my shoulder "That shit was fun going down, but now I don't think it likes me very much."

My mouth was dry and fuzzy. I couldn't get any words to come out of it, so I grunted something and sank down into the couch.

"Obviously we have much to discuss," Carlisle said. He was pacing around the room which was tilting at a very weird angle. If he didn't knock that shit off I was going to barf on Jasper's boots.

"Carlisle, please," Jasper was back to whining, but this time I was going to join him. "Stop moving."

"Yeah," I quickly echoed Jasper's sentiment.

Carlisle shook his head, but sat down in a chair.

"Emmett, could you please get your two idiot brothers some blood. And don't add anything to it," Carlisle warned.

Emmett grumbled all the way to the fridge and back. "I'm not a fucking waiter."

Emmett thrust the bottles of fresh blood into our faces and scowled at us. Obviously someone had restocked our fridge. I tapped Emmett on the ass and said I would tip him later which sent Jasper into a rage of giggles again. Hey, my mouth was working which maybe wasn't such a good thing. Emmett snarled at me and I quickly uttered an apology hoping he wouldn't strangle me.

Jasper and I both drank our blood like good little boys. It helped settle my stomach and I could tell it was making Jasper come down from his high too. A small part of me was sad and still wanted to run to the mini bar and dump a bottle of Stoli in my bottle. I shifted uncomfortably on the couch because Bella's stares were burning a hole in my head.

"Okay, let's talk. I'm ready to hear why Bella changed so quickly," I said.

Jasper slapped me on the back. "You must have some vicious venom brother."

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Well on one hand it's lucky Bella did change so quickly and with very little fuss. A normal vamp change would have warranted we clear off this entire floor of the hotel and I don't think Felix would have been too thrilled with us. As to Bella, well, I'm not exactly sure why her change was so fast. It's incredible that she has so much control over her blood lust. Carlisle launched into memories of all our changes. I didn't care to remember the intense burning. I had spent three days locked in what felt like a funeral pyre. It fucking sucked and then when I arose from the dead...oooh, that sounded dramatic or like the plot of a B movie...um right...when I came back to life, I was fucking starving. I would have bitten anything and anyone if Carlisle hadn't been there to stop me. I seriously couldn't remember anything from the first four months of my new existence except wanting blood and here Bella was having a conversation with everyone. I mean I know she was pissed off at me, but that was a pretty normal thing. She should actually be racing around the room trying to bite everyone.

"So, what you're saying, Carlisle, is that you have no fucking clue as to why Bella changed so fast. Are you sure she changed," I asked.

Bella snorted. "If you need me to prove that I'm not a fake vampire I would gladly bite your head off."

Her words sent shivers down my spine and tingles through my dick. Fuck!

"Nope, I'm good," I said and clamped my mouth shut.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. I needed to speak to Bella alone, but I didn't know what to say without sounding like a complete jack-ass. Thankfully, Jasper was still a little drunk.

"So, big bad vampire Bella, are you still going to become a real member of the Cullen clan or what?"

I gaped at him and punched him in the arm. "What? Don't tell me you don't want to marry her now? She's a one hot fucking vampire."

"Uh..." That was all that would come out of my mouth cuz I really didn't know if Bella wanted me anymore. I had sort of fucked everything up.

I froze and waited for the wrath of Bella to come down on both of us.

"I'd like to speak to Cullen...er Edward, alone, please," Bella said.

I let out a long breath of air. I wasn't sure why I did that, but I was fucking stressed out and it seemed like the right thing to do.

Carlisle stood up. "I think it would be best if we left these two alone. Bella, if anything happens and you start to feel like you are loosing control call me immediately."

"Thanks Dr. Cullen...er Carlisle," she said.

Alice hauled Jasper off the couch, dragging him out of our suite. I hoped Alice wasn't too hard on him. Emmett had tossed Rosalie over his shoulder. They were giggling as they left our suite. Most of the time I loved my family, but fuck, they could be a thorn in my side.

When the suite was empty and it was just Bella and me, my insecurities picked up. Was she going to reject me? Fuck, maybe she going to leave me for another vampire. Wait the only other vampires she knew were my family, and Felix oh, and Marcus. I'm sure they would be able to introduce her to other vampires. Well fuck, I was probably screwed.

I moved to the other side of the room and sat down at the dining room table. My mind immediately conjured up images of Bella laid out before me. Fuck I was a prevert. Bella was getting ready to tell me to fuck off and all I could think about was having sex with her. I laid my head on the table and stared at her, feeling very pathetic. Maybe I could play on her sympathies...if she had any for me.

She was a vision. I mean as a human she had been beautiful but as a vampire she was stunning. Her dark brown hair tumbled over her shoulder, spilling across her boobs. Okay, forget that shit. I'm not much for description, but she was fucking hot. Her eyes were only rimmed with red. I could remember mine were full on obnoxious red when I was born. Only she would be so lucky to not have to deal with wearing those fucking contacts.

She hadn't moved. I wondered what was taking so long for her to tell me to fuck off.

"Swan, I'm sorry, for everything," I mumbled pathetically.

She sighed. "You know it's weird not having to breathe."

"Uh yeah, I just do it because it makes us look more natural," I said. This was a strange conversation to be having right now.

"Oh right." She shook her head. "Cullen, you never looked natural."

"That hurts Swan," I muttered and turned my head away from her.

"Oh c'mon Cullen, can't you take a joke? I mean you should be able to take a little shit from your wife-to-be," she snorted and I felt her hand on my back.

I sat straight up, shaking her hand off my back. "Wait, what did you say?"

"Huh, you mean you should be able to take a joke?"

"No after that? Did you say wife-to-be? You're still gonna marry me?"

"Er, yeah..." her voice trailed off. "Why? Don't you want to get married?"

"Holy fuck," I yelled, standing up and knocking the chair over. "Are you serious? After everything I've fucked up you still want to get married?"

"Oh for chrissakes, Cullen, of course I still want to marry you. I mean I'm a little pissed because what the fuck am I going to tell Charlie and Renee about this vampire shit, but I still love you."

"Really?" I sounded like I just sucked on a helium balloon, but fuck, I was so relieved that she was still going to marry me. I closed the distance between us and grabbed her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"So, I was talking to Alice a little bit and well, she was telling me some things and I kinda want to test them out."

"What the hell has Alice been telling you?"

Bella whispered in my ear and let me tell you, if I could fucking blush I would be flaming red.

Goddamn Alice and Jasper.

"Erm, that shit might take some practice, Bella."

"Could we start now," she purred pressing up against me.

Who was I to refuse. She pushed off me, dashing over to the fridge. I watched as she grabbed a bottle of blood, cracked it open and slammed it down. Fuck that was hot. She was back by my side before I could say anything.

Her lips met mine and a bit of blood dribbled into my mouth. I groaned and she tackled me. Fuck she was going to kill me, but I didn't give a shit.

We fucked right there in the middle of the floor and up against the wall (er, all of them) in the bathroom, bent over the couch, out on the balcony, on the dining room table again. We never made it to the bedroom. Bella said she was saving that for the wedding night. I had no idea what time it was and I really didn't care because right now Bella was sucking me off adn it felt great. Of course, nothing good lasts forever.

**Bang, bang, bang. **

Who the hell was pounding on our door?

"Go away," I squeaked out.

"Open the door baby brother," Jasper yelled.

Bella scraped her fangs up my dick and I couldn't stop the really loud moan that erupted from my lips.

**Bang, bang, bang.**

"Edward, it's your wedding day," Jasper called out.

"Just a fu...oh god...yeah...fucking...damn baby...minute."

Bella sucked hard and I fucking screamed and came in her mouth.

"Enough with the blow job. Open the fucking door," Emmett shouted.

I couldn't move. Bella got up from her knees and sauntered over to the door, yanking it open and glaring at Jasper and Emmett.

"Uh, sorry 'bout that Bella, but Alice demands your presence in our suite."

She narrowed her eyes, turning to me. "You owe me Cullen."

I could barely raise my arms. Bella disappeared before I could say anything. Emmett and Jasper both jumped on me.

"You looked used and abused brother dear," Jasper laughed.

"Fuck, it smells like sex in here," Emmett said, scrunching his nose up.

"Don't breathe then," I said. I meant to growl at him, but Bella fucking sucked all the anger out of me. I was totally sated.

"Go take a quick shower and clean up your stanky ass. We're going to get your marriage license Mr. Seventeen year old cuz you're getting hitched tonight," Emmett said.

Holy Fuck!

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**Uh yeah, god I hope that chapter was okay and just to clarify...when Edward says _how you doing? _He's doing an imitation of Joey from _Friends _er, just in case some of you didn't get that...OMG Anyway, like I was saying I hope this chapter is okay. Next up is the wedding and then probably the Epilogue unless Edward does something super stupid that he needs to resolve. Ya never know about him...and since this story is coming to an end, can ya review...please...sorry didn't mean to whine...I think I'm gonna go pick a fight with Jasper and roll around on the floor with him...And I'm out...until next Friday.. Drizl**


	28. The Game of Life

**Hell it's Friday and I'm late...er sorry...but better late than tomorrow...I think, I hope, oh god I don't know if I like this chapter...I wrote this at work and had to keep shutting my laptop...maybe I should have worked on it longer...er maybe I should just shut the hell up and let you guys read it...Drizl runs off to hide and possibly eat M & M's...PS this fic is still rated M, I'm still not Steph Meyer and I don't get paid to do this shit...And my chapter names are totally sucking add! **

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**The Game of Life**

**Chapter 28**

"_Go take a quick shower and clean up your stanky ass. We're going to get your marriage license Mr. Seventeen year old cuz you're getting hitched tonight," Emmett said. _

_Holy Fuck!_

I stumbled into the bathroom to shed what little clothing I had on and to rid myself of the stanky smell of sex as Emmett so eloquently put it. Was this really happening? Fuck, I was going to be married...tonight. Was it strange that I didn't know where this said ceremony was taking place? Was it odd that I didn't know what I was wearing or who was officiating the wedding? Fuck I didn't even have a best man. Hmmm, I would have to ask Emmett and Jasper to stand up for me. There was no way I was going to try and decide between the two of them. Maybe I could have them duel for the right to be my best man. Fuck that, they'd probably just laugh in my face and then beat the shit out of me.

Fucking brothers...but...I can't believe I'm going to think this, but thank god for them. Don't tell them I thought that shit. I'd never hear the end of it.

I hurried through my shower and grabbed some clean clothes. When I got out to the living room Emmett and Jasper were gone, instead Carlisle is sitting on the couch waiting for me.

"Hello Son," he said calmly.

"Uh, where did Emmett and Jasper go? I need to talk to them."

"I sent them down to the casino to get them out of our hair for a bit," he said.

"Oh...are you sure that's a wise decision."

"I let you and Jasper loose didn't I?"

"Uh, well that was more Alice but yeah and look what happened with that."

"You may have a point, but right now, I'm assuming the wedding is still on so we have to go get your marriage license and since you are under age I have to vouch for you," he smirked.

"You're never going to let me forget this are you?"

"Not a chance and I figure on our way over to get the license we could have a discussion about sex with a new-born vampire."

"WHAT!" I was beginning to freak out again because I was not having another conversation with Carlisle about sex. Besides I already had sex with Bella so the conversation really would have no point.

"Just kidding," Carlisle laughed. "You seem a little wound up."

"Uh, maybe a little. I don't seem to be in control of anything anymore," I sighed.

"And you think getting married is going to help that situation?" He let out an evil laugh that made my whole body shiver.

"Could you quit doing that...it sorta freaks me out," I muttered.

"Edward, you're going to be just fine. Bella is a very nice girl and she makes a spectacular vampire."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. Ewww, gross! I didn't know Carlisle was a fucking dirty old man, but it was obvious he had been checking out Bella.

"Fuck Carlisle...that's just wrong."

"I may be dead but I'm not _dead," _he said and snickered again.

If it was going to be another one of those days, I was going to spend it hiding in the mini bar buried under a ton of empty Stoli bottles.

"Well, I suppose we better be on our way. Felix has the car waiting for us," Carlisle motioned for me to get my ass moving.

It was definitely going to be one of those days. I stared longingly at the mini bar as Carlisle shoved me out into the hallway.

The limo and Marcus were waiting for us when we got downstairs. Marcus asked how I was doing. I managed to glare at him. I didn't need any shit from him either. He was probably going to tell me that Bella was one hot vamp chick too. I didn't need to know how many vamps were checking out my girlfriend er, fiancee. But Marcus being the cool guy that he is motioned for me to move forward and then he slipped a vial into my hand. Right before we got to the license office, I dragged it out of my pocket and chugged it down.

Oh my God, I think I should ask Marcus to marry me! Ya gotta love the guy. Stoli and blood. I felt a little better. Of course, I still had to get out of the car and go in with Carlisle so I could get this marriage license shit taken care of. And then once we get into the building and wait in line for what seems like an eternity, of course it was the same guy at the window from yesterday. The same guy I tried to vamp voodoo. The same guy who knew I was seventeen. Fuck my life.

"Well hello, son, are you still seventeen or did you turn the big one-eight," he snorted.

I rolled my eyes and grunted. Carlisle came up behind me and handed the guy the paperwork that was needed for me to get married. Jesusfuck, here I was one hundred and nine years old and I needed dear old daddy to sign a piece of paper so I could get married.

"So, you're his father and you're okay with him getting hitched? The girl was in here earlier with her mother and she didn't seem too thrilled either."

"His mother and I are not pleased but... "Carlisle pushed me to the side and leaned closer to the window. "I think he's too young, but what can you do. Kids these days. They don't think we know shit and I've been around the block a few hundred times."

The guy grinned. "They think they know everything. Oh well, he'll learn."

They both laughed.

I was most definitely going to need another shot of Stoli after this visit.

Goddamn Carlisle.

"Daddy," I growled. "Can we just get the fuck out of here."

It was my turn to push Carlisle away from the window. I didn't need him and license dude talking about my business anymore.

"Well, this time it looks like everything is in order. Son, I hope you know what you're doing," he said, smiling at me. He lowered his voice. "Although, if my wife-to-be looked like yours, I wouldn't give it a second thought." He waggled his eyebrows at me and winked.

Good grief, was everyone a dirty pervert?

I grabbed the papers from him, eyed Carlisle and dashed out of the office using my vampire speed to get to the fucking limo. I needed to get back to the hotel and have another round of Stoli. I wasn't going to make it through this fucking day without it.

Marcus glanced at me. "You okay?"

"Fine," I grunted. He just shook his head. I was kind hoping he had another vial of blood for me. Carlisle climbed into the car and stared at me.

"I just talked to Esme and your tux has been delivered to the room."

"Erm, tux?"

"Yes Edward, I don't think Bella would appreciate it if you showed up for your wedding in jeans and a t-shirt. Esme also said that Bella is writing her own vows."

What? Oh my fucking God. I had to write my own vows. What the fuck? I thought I was just going to stand up there, listening to somebody say repeat after me...fuck, I definitely needed that shot. I sank down into the seat until I was almost sitting on the floor.

"Edward, you'll be fine. I mean you do love the girl right?"

Some sort of noise came out of my mouth. Carlisle settled on shaking his head at me again.

"Oh and Charlie and Renee are here. They would like to talk with you."

"Holy fuck, Carlisle, are you nuts! " I screamed reaching for the door handle of the car. I needed to get out of this stupid car. What was wrong with the door handles. I yanked on it a few more minutes before giving up. I thought when the license guy said Bella's mother had been with her, he meant Esme. What the fuck did Bella's parents want to talk to me about? Who the hell called them? Oh my god, I think I'm going to be sick.

"Shit, Carlisle, I can't fucking breathe." I said clutching my chest.

Maybe I should faint or something.

"Of for Chrissakes Edward, calm down. You're a vampire. You don't breathe." Carlisle rolled his eyes and I heard Marcus snicker.

"Er, right. I forgot."

I guess it wasn't as dramatic if you couldn't really die. However, this knowledge did nothing for my nerves.

"Do they know? What the fuck am I supposed to tell them. This isn't a good idea. I can't do it. Fuck Carlisle."

"Get a grip Edward. Just talk to them. It's not like they can kill you or anything!" He looked at me and then burst out laughing.

"That's just great Carlisle and you claim to be my father. You're just evil," I said narrowing my eyes at him.

"I'm sorry Son. I don't know what Bella did, but she's got her hand wrapped around your balls so tight you don't know if you're coming or going. You've got to calm down."

"Really...ya think...you talk to Renee and Charlie then," I huffed and commenced pouting because seriously I didn't know what else to do.

We pulled up to the hotel and I considered asking Marcus to get me the fuck out of here, but...Christ...I would do this for Bella because I fucking loved her and then she was going to owe me big time. I was going to demand payment in sex, lots of sex.

We walked into the lobby of the hotel and the first person I saw was Charlie. I'm pretty sure he wasn't all that happy to see me, but I can't really couldn't tell if he wanted to kill me or just maim me slightly. What is it with these Swans. I can't read them at all. Two seconds later Bella sweeps into the lobby with her mother acting like this is a normal fucking day. How can she be doing this? She's a fucking newborn. I don't understand any of this. She catches my eye and before I know what's happening she is right up against me, laying a big wet kiss on me. Before I can stop her, she's fucking my mouth with her tongue. I almost forget we are in the middle of a hotel lobby and her parents are staring at us.

I tried to pry her off me, but she's really strong so I just have to take her advances like a man, which means I'm starting to sport a fucking partial again. I try to bargain with my dick to keep his fucking head down because there are parents present. I finally manage to put some space between Bella and me, gasping for air. I know...don't say it...because right now I feel like a fake fucking pussy whipped vampire.

Charlie clears his throat and Renee's face is really red. I was a little mortified but Bella is grinning like a fucking crazy ass alley cat who just ate a gigantic mouse. It makes me nervous.

Bella glances at me and then at Charlie. I nod at him and offer my hand. He looks like he doesn't want to take it, but he finally does and shakes my hand. I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

"Mom this is my Edward," she grins and pushes me over to Renee. Did she just say my Edward...now I feel like I could turn beet red.

"Er, hello. It's nice to finally meet you," I say and give her a crooked smile. She fucking hugged me and I'm pretty sure she feels like she is hugging a marble statue. I'm pretty fucking nervous and stiff. Er, yeah, pretty much all of me is stiff. I keep my hips away from Bella's mother.

"It's so nice to meet you, Edward. Bella has told us so much about you," Renee says sweetly.

I start to wonder exactly how much Bella has told her parents.

"I'll be honest with you. Charlie and I aren't exactly thrilled with you kids getting married, but we can understand the feelings behind it. Are you sure about this," she asks.

"Yes, uh, I love your daughter. Right now that's about the only thing I'm absolutely sure about," I say. God that sounded stupid, but I'm not going to say anything else unless they ask me directly. I'm going to adopt the don't ask, don't tell policy. Charlie catches my eye and nods discreetly. Apparently he is adopting the same policy.

"Mom, we need to get your dress and Carlisle is taking Charlie to pick up his tux," Bella said. "Edward, can I talk to you for a minute."

"Uh, y—es." Since when does the word yes have two syllables? Dammit, I was as jumpy as a cat in a room filled with rocking chairs. Yep, that's a good one. Oh my god...that was what I come up with. Fuck, I'm not cool anymore. I'm totally a lame old man. Jeezus, the next thing ya know, I'll be wearing shorts, black socks and fucking sandals. Bella is never going to marry me.

Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me around the corner by the elevators. She shoved me forcefully up against the wall, grabbed my crotch and kissed me hard.

"Mmnf," I mumbled against her lips. As usual, this was not helping me keep my dick under control, especially since Bella was now stroking me.

"Oh excuse me," I heard a familiar voice ring out. It was like fingernails on a fucking chalkboard.

I did the manly thing and buried my head in Bella's tits. I couldn't face Mrs. Cope again.

"Bella, Edward," she said quietly. The elevator dinged and Mrs. Cope disappeared. I breathed another sigh of relief. Hey, Mrs. Cope didn't even catch a glimpse of my half hard dick. That was something to celebrate. Hurray...Fuck, I need another shot of Stoli.

"Edward!"

My head shot up and away from the safety of Bella's tits. "Emmett," I yelled.

"Hey Jaz. Jaz!" he yelled. Emmett was acting strange. "Jaz, where the hell are ya. I found him. I found Edward. Jaz!"

"Christ Emmett, shut the hell up. I think the entire casino knows you found me."

"Hi Bella. Uh, your mom is waiting for ya," Emmett said pointing toward the lobby.

She leaned in and licked my jaw. Her other hand had snaked down my chest, past my abs and right into my pants. She cupped my balls and tugged, making me fucking gasp.

"You are so easy to get riled up. I love you," she whispered and withdrew her hand. My dick was distressed over the whole matter and very lonely. Emmett was leaning up against the wall laughing his ass off.

"Great," I mumbled. My fucking pervert brother had just watched my wife-to-be palm my balls.

"Emmett," Jasper shouted as he rounded the corner.

"Wow, you missed quite a show," Emmett gasped.

"Mrs. Cope showing off her tits again?"

"Naw, Bella was groping Edward," Emmett snickered.

I rolled my eyes, choosing to ignore them until Emmett whipped out a small bottle of blood. He thrust it in my face.

"Open up young one. It is time to join the ranks of the married," Emmett said.

My eyes widened when I saw Jasper take a bottle out of his coat jacket. He tipped his head back and devoured the drink.

"Er, that's just plain old blood right," I asked.

"Yes," Jasper said and then leaned up against Emmett, snorting.

"Oh my fuck, Alice and Rose are going to kill me. They're going to blame this on me," I shuddered and pushed them both into the open elevator. Emmett revealed another bottle and downed it.

"Stop it," I begged. I reached out and tried to pry to bottle away from Emmett but he fucking growled at me.

"What the hell are you guys doing? Please just stop..." I whined. At this rate, I'm going to be dead before I get to my wedding.

Jasper laughed...of course he does. Emmett laughed again and I knew I was in deep shit, because I think they were well on their way to getting drunk. Who am I kidding they were past the point of no return.

"Lighten up Edward. We've only had one drink." Jasper haphazardly raised his bottle at me and smirked. "Maybe you should have a drink. Ya look a little nervous."

"Yeah," Emmett grunted. He seemed to have lost the ability to speak in full sentences.

"Just fucking great," I grumbled. "I was gonna ask you two idiots if you'd stand up for me at the wedding. Now you'll need chairs or something to hold your sorry asses."

"Oh Emmett, I think our little brother is asking us to be his best er...men. Aren't you just the sweetest," Jasper drawled. His southern accent could annoy the piss out of me sometimes and it seemed more pronounced when he drank. Okay so this is only the second time I've been around Jasper when he's been drinking, but I'm just saying...um, okay whatever. I'm just rambling.

The elevator door opened and I pushed them out into the hallway and down toward my suite. I finally managed to get them through the door.

"Hey, look there's like three tuxes here," Emmett exclaimed. "Do you get a choice?"

"Uh, no I think there's one for each of us," I said.

"Well gentleman, let's get dressed," Emmett said. He tossed me another bottle of blood Stoli. I stared at it for a few seconds trying to will myself not to indulge, but the nerves were welling up in my body threatening to drown me. I did what any nervous guy would do and downed the entire bottle. I swayed unceremoniously and laughed.

"You guys are the best brothers," I slurred. I don't think I should be drinking.

"We are you're only brothers, Edward," they both hissed.

"I know, but I like you guys," I grinned like a fucking idiot. "I'm gonna sit down for a few seconds before I get dressed."

I'm not really sure what happened or exactly how it happened but we ended up sitting on the couch tossing back a few more bottles of blood. Eventually, our phones started ringing and people were yelling about getting our asses downstairs. We scrambled around doing our best to get dressed.

Before I knew what was going on, all three of us were stuffed into our monkey suits looking quite fine if I do say so myself. Someone was banging on my door, yelling at us to get out here. It was time to get married. My people sure liked to yell a lot.

Wait a minute. It was time to get married. I-I-I didn't have a chance to write my vows or even fucking think of them. What the hell happened? Did someone move the clocks ahead? I was breathing too much again. Fainting seemed like a really good idea. If I passed out I could steal a few minutes to jot down some vows. Oh god, what dumb ass groom doesn't remember to write his vows. This was Emmett and Jasper's fault.

I needed another shot, but Emmett had me by the arm and was dragging me out into the hallway. I tried to struggle, but he was so much stronger. Fuck, I needed to talk to Bella.

"Let me go, you big fucking ape. I need to talk to Bella," I said.

"You know we can't let you do that, little bro, it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," Emmett said.

"Please, fuck, I need to see her," I whined. I sounded so desperate that I must have struck a chord with Emmett.

"What do you think Jas? Should we let the boy see his bride?"

"Ya know I think I should bring my cape. It would like sexy as hell with this tux," Jasper drawled.

"What? You are not wearing that fucking cape to my wedding you asshole," I shouted.

"Why do you wanna wear it?"

"No dickhead I do not want to wear your fucking cape," I growled.

"Who you calling a dickhead you panty waste," he shouted.

Emmett had pushed me up against the wall and had shoved his hand against Jasper's chest to keep us from getting to each other. I wanted to choke the shit out of Jasper. Maybe a good brawl would make me feel better. It certainly would ease a lot of tension.

"Gentlemen, need I remind you, that we are in a public place and Edward is here to get married?" Since when had Emmett become the voice of reason. "Now kiss and make up."

Emmett shoved us together and made us hug each other. I looked and felt ridiculous. It was even worse when Jasper licked my ear and laughed. "Sorry little brother."

"Jeezus Christ, just bring me to Bella, please," I begged.

"I think we can help ya out," Emmett said.

"I'll be the lookout," Jasper said and jumped in front of me. He looked like he was trying to be James Bond as he crept around each corner. He signaled the coast was clear and Emmett shoved me down the hall.

"Stay here," Emmett commanded.

He pulled his phone out and I heard him mumble something. A few seconds later I heard a door open and Rosalie and Alice came rushing out. Emmett grabbed Jasper, whispered something in his ear and they both disappeared down the hall. It sounded like he was telling him to get in an argument with Alice over that fucking cape.

I stood still as I listened to their footsteps fade down the hall. I walked up to the door and stared at it. I tapped gently and it slowly creaked open. My vampire bride was standing there half naked. She grabbed my arm, yanking me into the suite.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was nervous. I needed to see you. I'm sorry," I said sheepishly.

"You aren't backing out are you," she said carefully.

"Uh, no, you're stuck with me...er ya know if ya want me," I said staring at the ground. For some reason I was a little nervous she was going to tell me to get bent.

"I think I can help you out with the nerves," she whispered. "Ya gotta promise not to touch my hair though, cuz Alice would kill me if I fucked up the hairstyle.

"Uh, Bella..."

"Right...I know..." she said. I didn't know if she was talking to me or herself. She led me over to a chair, pointing at it. I guess she wanted me to sit down. Maybe we were going to have a chat. I sat down and watched Bella disappear into another room. What the hell was going on? Before I could think Bella was behind me, pulling my arms behind me. I heard the click of something. It took a few seconds before I realized that...Oh my fuck, Bella had me handcuffed.

"I don't want you to touch my hair and I thought it would be best to restrain you" She bent down, whispering in my ear. "I know you could break them, but I would prefer if you didn't."

I felt her tongue glide across my ear and down to the nape of my neck. "Let's see if I can't calm your nerves a bit, baby."

She may be able to calm my nerves but the rest of my body was on high alert.

Her hands moved down my chest to the button of my pants. She ran her hand across my already hard cock. She grasped me through the material. Fuck, I wanted to scream at her to shove her hand down my pants and touch me. I wanted to feel her skin.

"Oooh, baby, you've been a naughty boy. You aren't wearing any underwear."

"Um, well yeah, I didn't want any ya know, lines. God, it was Jasper's idea. Okay!"

"Shhhh, no talking," she said and put a finger to my lips. I licked it and smiled at her.

She dropped to her knees in front of me, running both hands up my thighs. Her fingers ran around my waist band. "Lift your ass up Edward."

I did as I was told and she yanked my pants down to my ankles.

"Is this for me," she asked as my hard cock stood out rather proudly.

I nodded.

"We don't have much time, so I'm gonna go fast," Bella said as she climbed on my lap. She reached down between her legs, grabbing my dick and leading him to her entrance. Oh god this made up for all the shitty things that happened today. I knew why I was marrying this woman. She raised up and slid down on. Fuck I wanted to touch her. I leaned forward, trying to capture her lips but she moved back.

"Tease," I muttered. Bella just sat there for a few seconds. I drove my hips up into her, hoping to get a little movement. She didn't do anything except smile at me. "Please," I whined. I needed her to move. Oh god, I needed movement. Fuck c'mon. Oohh, that fucking tension was coming back and this time it was settling right behind my eyes.

"Calm down baby," she whispered, but I was getting desperate. I struggled against the handcuffs. I couldn't take this torture much longer.

"Bella..." Her name came out as a long drawn out whine. She rolled her eyes at me.

Her eyes were half open. I could still see a tinge of red and for some reason that made my dick even harder. God, it fucking hurt. I needed friction and movement and then I felt her muscles contract around my dick and I almost came. The evil little wife-to-be opened her eyes wide and smirked at me. She leaned against my chest and rested her head on my shoulder, sighing quietly. She buried her nose in the crook of my neck and before I could say anything her fangs were sinking into my flesh. Her hips started to move and I fucking screamed. I could feel her venom filling me and I was gone. The fire coursing through me was enough to cause a volcanic eruption. I think I lasted another two minutes before I lost everything. Maybe it was only a fucking minute. Things were a little hazy after Bella bit me.

She climbed off me, giggling softly to herself as she made her way to the bathroom. She returned with a washcloth and cleaned off my spent dick. She pulled my pants up, winked at me and disappeared through a door which obviously connected with another suite.

"Uh, Bella...Don't you want me to...Baby, there's no way you got off...er, Bella...Fuck...Bella...I'm still cuffed...Baby?"

Two minutes later Jasper came into the room. His eyebrow raised, but he never said a word as he made his way to the back of the chair. He unlocked the handcuffs, helped me with my bow tie and then straightened my jacket out.

"You look better," he smirked. "Er, except for your fly hanging open."

"Uh...thanks," I rolled my eyes and zipped up, making sure everything was in its place.

"Ya ready to get hitched?"

"Yep."

Emmett was waiting for us out in the hall. I gave him a nod and he grinned at me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

"She's a fucking keeper, man," Emmett said.

"Yeah, I know."

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**Well look at that...and here I thought the story would be finished. I guess we will have to wait until next week to get to the wedding. I hope you guys aren't disappointed. The stupid funny thing...ya know humor...it fucking comes and goes. Irritating little son-of-a-bitch. Not dependable at all...Let me know what ya thought! Sorry we didn't quite make it to the wedding...I promise we will be there next week...so bring rice, bird seed, glitter or whatever people throw at weddings now a days. Special shout-out to my RL peep DZ who's celebrating her birthday in an internet free zone today. She won't be reading this until Monday. Hope ya like it bb...And to my fav h00rs...didya all like the black socks and sandals reference...Bwahahahaha...Love ya all...And I'm outta here...Drizl **


	29. King of Hearts

**Yeah, I know I'm a day late but RL had me somewhere that had NO internet connection. I hope you like this chapter...Um, still rated M cuz Edward swears a lot and ya know, does some other stuff that may offend people with delicate constitutions...I guess without further ado...Let's Read! **

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**King of Hearts**

**Chapter 29**

_Emmett was waiting for us out in the hall. I gave him a nod and he grinned at me, putting his arm around my shoulders. _

"_She's a fucking keeper, man," Emmett said. _

"_Yeah, I know." _

I was feeling much better as I followed Emmett down the hall. Having sex usually did that for me. I could get through this fucking wedding and then we could get down and dirty again. It seemed to me that I owed Bella a rocking orgasm. Maybe she would let me use the handcuffs on her this time. Thinking about naked Bella handcuffed to the bed was probably not the best idea when one was going to have to walk down an aisle in front of people.

"Edward stop thinking about Bella," Emmett admonished me.

I adjusted myself and he rolled his eyes. I limped down the hall conjuring up images of stupid shit so I could get rid of my ever present hard-on.

Goddamn Bella Swan er, the soon to be Mrs. Cullen. Whoa, not helping with the stiffy problem.

Emmett shoved me in to the elevator and we were on our way down to wherever I was getting married. I wonder what sort of dress Bella was wearing? Her hairstyle had been pretty fancy and I was wearing a classy tux. I suppose with Alice in charge it was going to be an over-the-top fancy ass gathering.

"Hey where the fuck is Jasper," I asked as the smile slid off my face. .

"He's gonna meet us downstairs. He had a few things he needed to take care of," Emmett said avoiding my stare.

Jasper had something to take care of? That didn't sound good. What the fuck were they planning now? Was I going to need another shot of Stoli to get through this day? Christ I was becoming a vampaholic. And apparently I was making up lame words. I snickered anyway and Emmett gave me a strange look. We turned the corner and Emmett looked like he wanted to say something but he snapped his mouth shut. I saw a sign with the words Cullen/Swan wedding. For some reason my stomach dropped into my knees.

Emmett's phone buzzed and he turned away from me. I suppose I should tune in to what he was saying but I was still staring at that sign. This was it. I was getting married. I was going to have a wife...a fucking wife. Shit, I think I needed to sit down. I felt my legs shake a bit, so I leaned up against the wall. Emmett had walked away from me still talking on the phone.

Several horrible thoughts rolled through my mind. Maybe Bella was having second thoughts and she had disappeared and Emmett was now trying to figure out a way to tell me that the wedding was off. I slid down the wall, pulling my knees up to my chin. What would I do if Bella left me?

No, I wasn't going to let my imagination run wild. Bella and I were getting married. She wouldn't abandon me. If she was going to up and leave she wouldn't have helped me get off to calm my nerves. Boy, I could use another round of Bella sitting on my lap and perhaps a little Stoli.

"Edward...Edward," Emmett said. He kicked my foot.

"Huh," I grunted, looking up at Emmett looming over me.

"It's time," he said holding out his hand. "You good, man?"

"Uh, yeah," I said getting to my feet.

Emmett eyed me for a few minutes before he pushed me through the final door.

"Holyfucking shit," I gasped as the door swung open.

My jaw dropped to the floor and I stopped. Emmett bumped into me but I didn't move. I think I was too stunned to move. Good fucking God, the place looked like Jasper and Emmett had decorated it. This couldn't be the right room. This was a fucking joke right?

Seriously, there were plastic bats dangling from the ceiling and cobwebs dripping off the large chandelier. All the candelabra's were filled with black candles and more spiderwebs. Actually there were cobwebs everywhere, hanging off everything. If you looked closely, you could see tiny little plastic black spiders in the webs.

Jeezus.

Black and red swags of material were draped over every chair. I almost expected to see a coffin at the front of the room, instead there was some guy with his back to me wearing a fucking black sequined Dracula cape with a red collar. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the guy had blond hair...like Jasper's...oh god please no...this had to be a joke...and then he turned around and gave me his lopsided smile. I was surprised he didn't have fake fangs.

Goddamn Jasper.

"Jasper took some online courses and he's an ordained minister," Emmett whispered in my ear.

I was going to be sick. I actually staggered and Emmett had to grab my elbow. I wanted to beg him to punch me in the face. There was no way this was real. Fuck, maybe I was dead or in a fucking trance.

"Emmett, what the fuck is going on," I hissed and tried to back out of the room.

"Dude, this was all Bella, Alice and Rosalie," he said. "Okay, well Jasper cried and whined to the girls to let him officiate, but everything else was all them."

"You're fucking lying. There is no way Alice would go along with this," I snarled. It was then I noticed there were people sitting in the chairs. They had turned around to look at us. Who the fuck were these people? They looked like movie extras from the set of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Maybe everyone was going to jump up and do the Time Warp when I walked down the aisle. Some lady wearing a tight black dress waved at me. I did a double take and realized it was Mrs. Cope. Jeezus, she even had black lipstick on and silver glitter eye shadow. This isn't happening. I must be in a drunken stupor somewhere and my brain was playing tricks on me. For a moment I considered listening to everyone's thoughts but I just didn't have the strength. I had turned into a poor excuse of a vampire.

I scanned more of the crowd. I spotted Marcus with some dark haired chick who was sporting bloody holes in her neck. I didn't know if they were real or fake. Marcus was wearing Jasper's silver cape.

I couldn't walk. There was no way Bella would think this was funny. Alice was going to fucking rip my head off before I had a chance to explain that this wasn't my idea. This was going to be the shortest marriage in the history of the world. Actually, there was no way the wedding was even going to happen. This was my funeral.

Just as I was about to blast Emmett with five hundred more questions the music started. Fuck, some creepy ass guy wearing a fucking red cape was playing the piano. What the fuck was with all the capes? Emmett poked me in the side, signaling to me that the music was my cue to start walking but my legs were refusing to cooperate. Emmett leaned against me with his shoulder and started to push me up the blood red aisle carpet. When Emmett had successfully managed to get me to the first row of chairs, Renee, Esme and Carlisle all stood up to shake my hand and hug me. I barely recognized Renee because her once brown hair was jet black and full of glitter. Carlisle looked like a Duke or some shit with his top hat, gloves and red ascot. He even had a cane. Esme was definitely not in your typical mother of the groom dress. Black lace that looked like spiderwebs was not something a normal mother would wear, but I guess my family was anything but normal.

They all gave me goofy grins and Esme hugged me again. I still wasn't sure if this was a joke or not. Emmett proceeded to push me until I was stationed in front of Jasper. He winked at me, bowing slightly. For several seconds I thought about punching him, but Emmett still had ahold of my elbow and I wasn't all that sure about the stability of my legs. I'd probably collapse if he let go of me.

The music started again. The doors burst open and Rosalie stepped onto the carpet of blood in a dress that perfectly matched the rug. Emmett groaned rather loudly. I elbowed him, but he was right, Rosalie was a sight to behold. The dress hugged every curve, showing off all her assets. Alice came in next, floating up the aisle in her short little red dress. I chanced a look at Jasper and I swear his eyes were solid black. I could feel the lust floating around the room.

The music changed, the people all stood up and I felt like I was going to faint again but then I saw Bella standing in the doorway with Charlie holding her arm. She was clutching a bouquet of blood red roses. The entire crowd, including me, gasped when she stepped into the room. Her wedding dress was very simple. It was off the shoulders with long sleeves and a long skirt made out of something that looked like satin and net. The only odd thing about the dress was the color. It was jet black. Bella's hair was no longer up, but cascaded gently down her shoulders. Her lips were blood red and she was smiling all the way to her twinkling brown eyes which of course were still rimmed in red. They matched the décor perfectly.

She glided up the aisle and Charlie handed her off to me. I'm not exactly sure how I made it over to her, but the minute she took my hand a wave of calmness flashed through me. Maybe I was still in shock that she actually showed up. I glanced over at her trying to figure out why this beautiful creature would want to marry me? Of course, the wave of calmness turned into a rotten tidal wave when Jasper started to speak and I remembered I didn't have any vows written down.

Holy fuck, I was starting to panic again. What sort of moron doesn't remember to write their vows. At least most of the guests were in the correct attire for a funeral. My saving grace would be if Bella went first. Maybe I could play off her vows.

Jasper said a bunch of shit but I wasn't paying any attention to him although I think I was faking quite nicely. I needed to figure out at least something to say to Bella or I would look like a complete fool.

I kept my eyes fixed on her, hoping for a flash of inspiration. She really looked spectacular. I mean off the charts hot. The wedding night was definitely going to be fun as long as I could think of something that would pass for vows.

I felt Emmett nudge me and I figured I better tune into what Count Jasper was talking about. He said something about vows and I knew I was soon going to be in the spotlight. I started begging the universe or anyone who was listening that Bella would be picked first to say her vows. I looked at Jasper sending him all sorts of pleas hoping he would get the message. Jeezus, please someone or something have mercy on me. Maybe a bottle of Stoli would float down from the ceiling.

"Bella and Edward have written personal vows for the ceremony," Jasper said. "Bella if you please."

Oh thank god, something in my favor. I'm actually surprised Jasper didn't call on me first, but maybe he heard my begging and was being a good brother. I quietly reminded myself to focus on Bella.

I turned to face her as she took my hands in hers. Her pale skin was glistening in the candlelight. God she was fucking hot. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair, down across her exposed shoulders. I wanted to lick her collarbone, trailing my tongue across her skin down to her boobs where I could suck her nipple into my mouth. Bella's voice broke into my fantasy and I jerked my head up so I was looking at her eyes and not her boobs.

"Edward when I first met you I thought you were a pompous jerk who took what he wanted not caring about anyone else but himself."

Okay this was not starting out exactly good for me, plus I heard a lot of murmurings of agreement. Thank you for your support wonderful family. I smiled weakly hoping this little speech would get better. My mind started wandering to terrible scenarios. This was all a farce...Bella had just lured me here to take advantage of me and make a fool out of me. She was going to say a bunch of shit and then leave me at the altar, running back to Jessica and Forks High where she would proceed to tell everyone how she had annihilated Edward Cullen.

I think I groaned a little...No...don't let the paranoia win...she loves me. This shit is real. I clenched my jaw and shut my stupid brain off.

Bella was speaking again. "I must admit that when this all first started it was my goal to bring you down. You were nothing but a pretty face with no heart. However.."

Oh thank God there was a however. Maybe these vows were going to turn in my favor. I don't think they could get much worse. I mean she basically called me a self-righteous bastard.

"But you turned out to be a worthy opponent. As we got to know each other you started to let your guard down. It was then that I decided you would make a much better teammate. As we continued on with this game I found myself...um," Bella's voice faltered and it caught me off guard. I looked into her eyes and I swear if vampires could cry her eyes would be filling with tears. Fuck, I think my throat had a lump in it.

"Er, I love you Cullen. In front of all these people I'm stating that I really love you and look forward to each day I get to spend with you."

I squeezed her hand and Bella sniffed more for the effect than anything since well, ya know, vampires don't have snot. Uh, yeah, weird fucking things keep running through my brain.

"Edward are you ready with your vows," Jasper asked.

I wonder if anyone has ever said no. I'd like to pass this turn to the next person in line. Wait what the fuck was I thinking? I wasn't about to give up my place in line. My place was here right next to Bella. If she could get through this shit, I could do it too. I wasn't a fucking newborn, for chrissakes.

"Erm. Bella, I guess when I first met you, I have to admit you surprised me, shocked me and then scared the shit, uh sorry," I smiled apologetically at the audience. "Um, you scared the crap out of me. I'd never met anyone like you before. You challenged me in ways I never thought possible."

Ooooh, that was fucking good. I should pat myself on the back.

"At first I thought you hated me, but as I got to know you...well, I started to hope you liked me just a little bit."

Bella laughed and held up two fingers about an inch apart. At least she was admitting she liked me a tiny bit.

"I don't know what else to say Bella...just well, I truly believe you were created for me," I said. Bella snorted and a few people coughed. "Uh, maybe created wasn't the correct word, but hell I really do think you were put on this earth for me and me alone, because if I have anything to say about it, no one is ever going to come between us. You are mine and I am yours."

Bella eyes widened as I huffed a little after my big speech. I softened my voice. "You changed me and I love you Bella Swan...always. Never forget that."

"I won't," she whispered.

I leaned into her. "I'll be sure to remind you when I loose my head and do something stupid."

She snickered and pecked me on the cheek. Damn, I did pretty good.

"Uh, excuse me," Jasper said. "I did not say you could kiss anyone, Miss Swan."

Bella rolled her eyes. I pursed my lips to stifle a chuckle.

Jasper grinned at us and gave his cape a small flourish. Fucking Jasper and his cape, always trying to be the center of attention. "The rings please," Jasper said.

Uh, fuck...a ring...christ I didn't have a ring.

"What!" Sheer panic filled my body.

Ohmygod, Edward, you forgot to buy a ring," Alice shouted.

Yes, please alert the media. Scream a little louder so the casino down the road knows I forgot the ring. I ground my fangs together, gave Bella a quirky smile, silently telling her I would be right back.

I ran over to Felix and asked if I could borrow a marker. I noticed he always kept one in his pocket. Maybe Felix collected autographs from celebrities who came to this casino. Sharpies seemed to be the pen of choice when you wanted an autograph. Whatever the reason, I was extremely glad he had one.

I was back with Bella holding her hand before many people even noticed I had disappeared.

"Okay, you may continue..." I said to Jasper.

Jasper narrowed his eyes at me, staring at the marker in my hand. Fuck, Bella would either think this was totally stupid or kinda cool. I was praying for the kinda cool.

"Er, right, please slide the ring on her finger and repeat after me," Jasper said.

I grabbed Bella's hand and proceeded to draw a lovely ring on her finger while repeating the words Jasper spoke. I couldn't believe I was fucking doing this, but I didn't have any other ideas. I suppose I could have borrowed someone's ring, but that just seemed wrong. I finished my vows and now it was Bella's turn. I'm sure she remembered a fucking ring. I saw a subtle exchange between Alice and Bella before she snatched the marker out of my hand.

"Repeat after me," Jasper said.

I gasped as Bella used the marker to draw me a ring. I didn't dare look at it for fear she had drawn a skull and cross bones until she winked at me. It was the same as the one I had drawn on her. A circle with a heart. I know it was corny but what the fuck. I pulled her against me and whispered in her ear. "I love you Swan. I promise you will get a real ring."

"I sort of like this one," she giggled.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. You may now kiss the bride."

We both hesitated for a few moments. It was me who reached out for her, pulling her forcefully to my chest. My fingers brushed against her cheek. "Hello, Mrs. Cullen."

"Hello Mr. Cullen," she smirked.

"I'm going to fucking kiss you so hard that your eyes roll to the back of your head," I bragged.

"Bring it on Cullen. I bet I can kiss you so hard your fucking hair flattens out."

"All right Swan, you asked for it. Fucking Game on Baby."

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**Sniffle, snort, sob...Somebody hand me a kleenex...OhMyGod...it's hard to let this baby go, but the story has run its course. Well, except for the Epilogue...Ya know I'll be thanking peeps in the last chapter but without you readers this story wouldn't have been as to fun to write. I appreciate all the funny comments and I'm really glad I was able to make you snort drinks out your nose and put a smile on your face. Until next week...I'm outta here...I gonna go look for a cape-wearing Jasper! XoX Drizl **


	30. Epilogue

**Snort, sniffle...waahhhh! I can't believe it's Friday, my last Friday with this fic. Wow, I never thought it would be this hard to let these kids go on with their lives. It's just been sooo much fun to write this fic. I'll grovel and fall at everyone's knees at the end of the Epilogue...so without further sobbing...I bring you the last of Game on Baby...I hope you enjoy it...**

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**Epilogue**

**Game On Baby **

So, it's me again...er, Edward fucking Cullen just in case you forgot. I was told this was going to be the final entry. I'm a little fucking bummed that you won't be around anymore to watch me. Alright I'm actually glad you won't be watching me anymore cuz fuck, I reread this shit and Bella made me look like a total fucking tool and douchebag. However, I am going to claim the trophy for this game cuz she's now a banging hot vampire and my fucking wife. We will keep the claiming of the trophy between us right. I'm sure Bella wouldn't agree with me on my logic. She'd probably take the fucking thing away and give it to Jasper. As if he deserved it.

"Him and his fucking capes, trying to show me up," I grumbled.

I suppose all you pervs wanna know what happened after the wedding. You know after we were declared married by Jasper and people finished throwing fucking fake vampire teeth at us. Christ, couldn't they have just thrown rice or whatever.

I could tell you er, but I don't feel like it today. Thinking about that shit gets me hard and I seem to be fucking worked up a lot these days. Maybe Drizl will do an outtake for you. Ask her. Beg her. Offer up Jasper with his cape, but you're not getting it out of me today. I do have to tell you about going back to Forks though. Bella's making me do all sorts of shit I don't want to...Carlisle was right about getting married. I had no control over anything. She owns my ass which I guess is okay, but again, don't tell Bella that. I don't need to have that statement hanging over my head.

Anyway, I wasn't that gung-ho on going back to school after the wedding and with Bella's changing to a vamp I didn't think she would want to go back either. Hell, I didn't think she would be able to function among humans much less go back to school. I did tell her that if she slipped up, I wouldn't be opposed to her draining Newton. But like I said, apparently Bella was now the boss of me and I had to listen to what she wanted or she withheld sex from me. Can you imagine not putting out. I could die from a constant hard-on. Neither man nor vampire is meant to go for extended periods of time with a massive boner and blue balls. It's just not right and it fucking hurts.

So we went back to school and I had to...endure...and endure...and fucking listen to all their crap.

Goddamn high school shit.

It hit me hard the day we walked back into Forks High. I had my arm wrapped around the waist of my new wife so I wasn't paying attention. I forgot to shut my mind down so I was bombarded with thoughts from the entire school.

_They got married? How fucking stupid is that? We should take bets on how long before they kill each other or get a divorce. _ Oh great, more fucking bets on my life.

_Do you think she's pregnant? She has to be pregnant._ No jack-ass, I didn't knock her up...cuz well, according Carlisle I fucking can't cuz I'm sorta dead.

_I don't care why she married him, he's still a dickhead. _Yeah, fuck you Newton...jealous much. I wanted to stick my tongue out at him and tell him she married me because she fucking loves me. So stick that in your ice cream and lick it. Where the fuck did that come from?

_Maybe he drugged her or used mind control. _Uh, no drugs but I wish I could use mind control on her every once in awhile.

_Fuck, Bella has great legs! _All right, who's fucking checking out my wife?

I gripped the sides of my head hoping to squeeze everyone out. They all needed to shut the fuck up. I couldn't stand this shit. I lowered my head and scurried off to class. I tried to ignore everyone but they kept starring at me. I knew they had questions but I think they were scared to ask me and I wasn't about to answer any of them. I felt like running down to the office and calling for a student assembly just so Bella could tell everyone about the fucking wedding.

I managed to run into Mrs. Cope, but all she could do was give me a goofy grin and a little wave. I could only hope she was too smashed in Vegas to remember anything. Maybe Carlisle had vamp voodooed her, because I certainly had lost my talent in that area.

By the time we got to lunch I was on the edge of a breakdown. I couldn't fucking handle all the whispering and talking about us.

"Edward," Bella's voice brought me back. "You're so tense," she purred as her fingers gently tickled my arm.

I clenched my jaw. "I told you I didn't want to come back to this fucking hell hole. I'm a fucking joke to all these shitheads."

Bella's beautiful eyes widened showing off the tiny red rims around the brown. I fucking loved her eyes. "And you really care about what they think? Where's the beautiful cocky asshole that I fell in love with?"

She ran her tongue over her top lip and then bit down on her bottom lip. I could feel my dick stirring in my pants as if this day wasn't bad enough, now I was going to have to walk around with a fucking boner. She was right though. I was Edward Cullen and these high school students were, well, just humans. I threw my shoulders back and lifted my head up, staring at all of them. I figured I'd shoot them a few dagger stares and be done with them. I didn't anticipate Jessica meeting my glares. My eyes widened when she stood up and made her way over to our table.

Bella hissed. Jessica stood in front of Bella with her arms folded across her chest.

"So, I can't believe you married this dick weed," Jessica spat. "This was supposed to be a game to bring the asshole down."

"Well, it looks like Edward won the game then," Bella said in a voice laced with venom.

I won...see yes, fist bump anyone...right, this probably isn't the best time.

"You know the asshole is just playing you Bella. He's gonna leave you high and dry when he gets tired of you," Jessica said and turned to me. She slid up against me, running her hands across my chest. I was dumbfounded. Was this bitch nuts? I didn't dare move.

"He's mine bitch," Bella shouted. We now had the attention of the entire cafeteria. "I know you just wanted me to mess with his mind so he would come running back to you, but he doesn't want you. He never did, Jess baby, so stay the hell away from us," Bella warned.

I was still too stunned to do anything. Bella looked like she wanted to dismantle Jessica piece by piece and stupid Jessica wasn't backing down. I suppose she was just trying to save face, but for fucks sake, Bella could drain her in two seconds. Thanks God Jasper was there to diffuse the situation.

"Hey baby girl," Jasper said as he wrapped his hand around Bella's arm. "Why don't you unclench that little fist of yours and stop sharpening your teeth before someone gets hurt."

Jessica finally wised up and took the opportunity to scurry away from us. A few people followed her but most stayed riveted to their seats. Did I mention Jasper had a top hat on today. Christ he could never do anything normal. Now that thought was just odd. We were anything but normal.

"Well that bitch is not going to be bothering you anymore. Frankly Bella, I'm a little scared of you," Jasper said loudly enough for the whole lunchroom to hear. I rolled my eyes and then a few people started clapping so Jasper tipped his hat and bowed.

Bella laughed, relaxing her stance. I guess the game was over and Jessica was the real loser in the whole thing. I think I could handle the rest of the school year. Thank goodness there was only a few weeks left.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'll make it up to you," Bella whispered in my ear.

I focused on that statement the rest of school day and when the bell rang well, fuck if I wasn't the happiest guy in the world. I just wanted to get the fuck out this godforsaken place. It seemed that everyone else did as well, except Bella who was casually leaning up against my locker.

"There's something I want to do," she purred.

I gave her a confused look but allowed myself to be led down the hall. I was thoroughly messed up when Bella dragged me into the Biology classroom.

"You do realize this is where it all started right," she smirked. "Maybe I should be thanking Jessica instead of wanting to ring her fucking neck."

I snorted. "I'm not sending Jessica a gift and this place is kinda hard to forget since you got me all worked up and then walked out on me."

"The bell rang," she huffed.

"Not buying that as an excuse. You had the whole thing all planned out," I said narrowing my eyes at her.

"Maybe," she said then winked at me. "But this time, I'm not going to walk out on you."

My mouth fell open. This time...this time...the words echoed through my brain..."Uh," was all I could get to come out of my mouth as I watched her click the lock on the door and flick the light switch.

"Sit down in your chair Edward," she said forcefully. I did as I was told. She circled our desk a few times, licking her lips like I was her lunch. She stopped behind me and I felt her fingernails rake up my arm. She leaned into me, pressing her boobs into my back, ghosting her lips against my ear. Oh my god, I wanted to pant like a dog.

"Close your eyes love and tell me about that first day," she breathed. "I want to know what you felt."

Oh my fucking god, this was so erotic I was probably going to die. A weird noise gurgled out of my throat when I felt her tongue slip out and lick behind my ear.

"Tell me about that first day," she hissed sliding her fangs against my throat.

"Oh god..." I whined. I wanted to add my fucking dick hurts. She nipped at my neck, making my hips buck.

"Tell me," she said again. This time I felt the sting of her teeth as she drove them into my skin.

I cleared my throat. "I saw you in the lunchroom. You had on a mini skirt and I thought about your legs wrapped around my waist and you screaming out my name as I pounded into you.

"Keep going, love."

I groaned when she tweaked my nipple. "Erm,You had on a white blouse and when you leaned forward to say something to Jessica, I could see pink lace from your bra laying against your pale skin and I fucking wanted to bite you."

Bella growled in my ear. "More."

"I finally heard your name chanted by the other students. I wanted to kill those fuckers for thinking about you because I wanted you. You were mine,"I snarled. "Those feelings took me off guard because I'd never felt them before and then you hid behind your hair and I couldn't hear you."

"You couldn't hear me what?"

"Uh, guess I should tell you that I can hear other people's thoughts...just not yours and it was so damn frustrating and challenging. When I figured out that I couldn't break into your mind, I had to act like a fucking human and go on instincts alone. I couldn't fucking cheat and find out your deepest desires. It about drove me insane.

"I watched you that entire lunch period and I fucking wanted to rush over to your table and bend you over. I'd never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you."

"Fuck," she muttered into my neck.

I decided to leave out the self-imposed deadline of four days to fuck her, because obviously that didn't work out for me.

I continued, happy my story was bothering Bella as much as it was me. She squirmed behind me and I resisted the urge to grab my dick for a quick stroke.

"More," she gasped.

"I thought I would have a moment of peace to get myself under control, but then you sauntered into Biology, sitting down next to me. I wanted to shove my hands down my pants and take care of the problem you were creating," I leaned my head back into her body. Bella ran her fingers through my unruly hair.

"When you sat down next to me, you let your hair hide your face from me again. Venom was fucking dripping from my teeth. All I fucking wanted was a taste of you and to fuck you senseless."

Bella groaned and slid her hands down the front of my chest, dipping her fingers into my pants. I resisted grabbing her hand and placing it on my engorged cock. I wasn't going to last much longer and then Bella shocked the hell out of me. I'm not exactly sure how she did it but I found myself laid out on the desk with her hovering over me, licking her lips. She placed her hands on my cheeks.

Fucking newborn vampire strength.

"Show it to me, Cullen," she snarled and I felt her mind intertwine with mine as the scene from that day in Biology rushed forward.

_"You like what you see, Edward," she hissed, glaring at me._

_" What," I choked out and backed further away from her._

_How the hell did she know my name?_

_Jesus Christ, this woman was totally throwing me off my game. For a few minutes we had a staring contest and during those few moments of intense gazing, I tried to break into her mind. I got nowhere._

_"Mr Cullen, could you move your eyes to me?" Banner said, rudely interrupting our staring contest._

_Everyone in the class snickered. She giggled and flung her hair over her shoulders. I was assaulted by her scent again. I growled and pretended I was interested in Banner's lecture._

_Every single sound in the room was amplified. I think I could hear the fabric of my jeans stretching as my dick tried to escape the confines of my pants. The clock was ticking agonizingly slow, Mike Newton yawned and dropped his head to his desk, Erik Yorkie was scribbling in his notebook, Banner droned on, and Bella was...what the fuck was she doing? Was that her hand on my thigh?_

_Ah ha, I knew she couldn't resist me. I was Edward fucking Cullen and I could have anyone I wanted, when I wanted, anytime I wanted. A fucking week, try less than an hour...uhhhh._

_Fuck, her hand brushed against my crotch. My dick started weeping and straining to get closer to her hand. I went still as a fucking statue which was possibly the most difficult thing I had ever done. What was she going to do? Her fingers crept closer to my cock. I couldn't stay still any longer. I turned in my chair, shifting my hips closer to her._

_Holymarymotherofgod, she just popped open the first button of my jeans. I glanced around the room to make sure no one was paying attention. Wait, who cares if they were._

_Banner was putting in a DVD. I went from despising this guy to absolutely adoring him. Could things get any better? My question was answered when I suddenly felt her fingers gently caressing me._

_The lights went out. She finished unbuttoning my jeans. Damn, I should have gone commando today. She reached into my boxers and stroked me. I slid down in my chair so she had better access. She squeezed my shaft harder. I almost jizzed in her hand._

_I was now panting like a goddamned dog in heat as she palmed my balls. Why the fuck was I breathing so much. I tried to stop but I couldn't control it._

_I tried to look at her face but I think my fucking eyes were crossed. She moved closer to me so I was once again hammered with her scent. Venom pooled in my mouth. I almost fucking gagged on it._

_Her hand was sliding up and down, pumping me. My hips automatically raised into her hand. As much as I enjoyed having her give me a hand job I would much rather be buried in her pussy._

_The heat was building, filling my abs. My muscles were clenching ready for the release. I was making plans on how to control the growl that was building in my throat when she fucking stopped all movement. She quickly pulled her hand out of my pants and shoved it into her backpack. She pulled out some fucking kleenex or something and wiped her hand off._

_I was in fucking hell. My jaw had dropped to the desk and my dick was crying for attention._

_I needed a release but the fucking lights came back on and the bell rang. I could hear Bella holding back her laughter. Who was this evil little bitch?_

_Mike fucking Newton walked by our desk and offered her his hand. She stood up and took his hand with the same hand that was just holding my fucking dick._

_Just as she was heading out the door, she turned and fucking winked at me. I wanted to kill her, in more ways than one._

_Well, fuck this shit...game on Bella Swan._

Holy fuck, Bella was inside _my_ mind. I stared back up at her, gasping as I saw and experienced everything she felt for me. It was gone almost as fast as it came and Bella sagged against my chest.

"Fuck, Bella I love you," I hissed and flipped her over on the desk. It was my turn to be in charge. I rose up on my knees and shoved her skirt up around her waist revealing the white lace of her panties. I jerked the fuckers off, smiling when the fabric ripped. Bella moaned and writhed beneath me.

"Fuck me baby, take me," she said as she raised her hips off the desk. That was all the encouragement I needed. I stroked my rigid dick a few times teasing her entrance but I couldn't stand it either. I drove my dick into her waiting wet pussy. The desk shook and squeaked with each powerful thrust. I lost myself in Bella's moans and my grunts. I was fucking drowning in lust and love and I couldn't believe this creature was mine for the rest of forever. How did I get so fucking lucky? Just like Bella had said in her vows, I had spent the first eighty years of my existence being a total ass, taking what I wanted and when I wanted it, giving nothing in return. Somehow Bella had changed me and I wasn't that guy anymore. I was totally and truly owned by her now. The knowledge of how much I loved her burned through my body.

"Fucking bite me Cullen," she screamed.

Who am I to refuse my beautiful wife, but I couldn't resist teasing her for a second or two.

"I don't know Bella, you were really mean to me at the beginning of this game," I said stilling my hips.

She whimpered a bit, but found her composure quickly. "You deserved it Cullen," she said with a glint in her eye. She twisted her hips and clenched her muscles. My dick screamed at me to start moving again. I told him to be patient.

"Well, I guess you taught me a lesson or two," I smirked and thrust into her so hard the table groaned again, threatening to collapse. I leaned forward, moved her hair from that beautiful throat and sank my teeth into my vampire bride's neck. Her back arched and she wrapped her legs tightly around my waist. I felt like I was in a vice grip, but then she came and clenched down around my dick. I lost it, filling her with my cum. I fucking saw stars and I swear I heard fireworks crashing down around me...fireworks? Oh fuck, please let it be fireworks.

It wasn't fireworks...it was the sound of keys shoving into the lock and the click of the lock as the door squeaked opened. I swear it sounded so loud in my head, I really did think there were fireworks shooting off all over the fucking school. Both Bella and I froze, which was hard for me to do since my dick was still pulsing inside of her. She wrapped her legs tightly around my waist, clinging to me.

"Tell me the door just opened and no one is standing there," I begged.

Bella giggled softly, shaking her head against my shoulder. How could she fucking laugh?

"Er, sorry,.. pardon me...I'll be going...fuck that's hot...er carry on...Christ, nice ass Mr. Cullen," the familiar voice said. The door closed and Bella burst out laughing wildly at me.

"Well, Mrs. Cope finally got to see your ass unclothed. She can now die a happy woman."

"Fuck you Bella Cullen."

We both gasped. Bella Cullen, it was the first time I had called her that. I mean I called her Mrs. Cullen, but Holy shit, calling her Bella Cullen totally turned me on. I wanted to start chanting it so everyone knew she belonged to me.

"Ya ready for round two my big bad vampire," she hissed in my ear.

"Fuck yeah," I growled. She looked at me and grinned.

"Erm.."

"What?"

"You have a little blood...right here." She licked my lips and moaned.

Fuck, Mrs. Cope was right, this is hot! I gripped Bella's hips and started grinding again. Sometimes it was great to be a fucking vampire!

God that was a fucking epic day in the annuals of my sex life. Taking Bella in the Biology room was ranked number one for now. I would always have a soft spot for Forks High, but I was happy to be graduating from high school again...for the...um, I've lost fucking count. Since this was Bella's first time graduating, she wanted the whole experience of getting her diploma and all that shit. We all had to walk down the aisle, across the stage and get our fucking diploma. Mrs. Cope seemed a little enthusiastic with her clapping and hollering when they called my name.

Besides the graduation thing Bella actually made me go to prom. It wasn't that fucking horrible, especially when Emmett and Jasper introduced Bella to Stoli and blood.

Our graduation party was also a wedding dance. It was Alice who decided that it was going to be a masquerade ball. Bella and I couldn't decide on costumes so we went as vampires. Fucking lame right, but this time I wore the cape. I even had to dance with Mrs. Cope. I swear she tried to cop a feel, but by the time I danced with her I could barely stand up. I was still learning how to hold my liquor. I'm sure she didn't mean to grab may ass. I mean I was tipping over and shit. That's probably just where she grabbed to keep me from falling down. At least that's the story I'm sticking to, even if she whispered in my ear that I had a great ass, nice and firm.

Fucking Mrs. Cope.

As for now, I'm taking a fucking break. Bella and I are going on a real honeymoon to the isle of Esme. I know right, my fucking family owns a goddamn island. Bella and I just want to get away from everyone to really get to know each other...yeah, no one believed us when we said that...to be honest, I just want a place we can have some quality time together...meaning uninterrupted sex and lots of it.

Bella has expressed some interest in attending college. I don't know if I really want to do anymore school for awhile. I'm fucking sick of it. I suppose I could try the whole party route this time. Maybe even join a fraternity...or not. I bet Bella wouldn't even let me live in the fraternity house. I suppose she has a valid point though, since we are married.

Well, that's about it for me. I really hope you enjoyed this wild ride. As for right now...I think I'm gonna go find my hot vampire wife and fuck her up against the wall, um, if she'll let me.

**THE END...FIN...OVER...BRING ON THE DRINKS...COMPLETE...DONE...**

* * *

**Oh my Fucking God...My head is spinning...It was so hard to press the complete button on this story. It's been quite a ride! I really have to say thanks to everyone who joined me in this insane adventure. Please allow me to be a little mushy and shit. I started this fanfic writing as a test. I wanted to know if people would read my shit and enjoy it. I think I've said it somewhere in here before but I am working on becoming a real published author using my own characters and story lines. I started this journey after I read Twilight. I have no idea why...but the book made me see how unhappy I was with my current life. I was sitting on the sidelines. I forgot how to participate. Writing had always been a part of my life, but I never finished anything. I realized my life was filled with regrets and fuck...I didn't want to live like that anymore. I was going to chase after my dreams, so that's what I'm doing. Writing fanfiction has helped my self confidence cuz I have the best readers. The reviews have been funny, awe-inspiring and most of all they make me smile. I humbly bow down to you all and thank you for reading this story. To my RL peeps who dared read this and witness my pervy side, you guys are the best especially DZ and L-Shocked. I'm not sure what other RL peeps are reading this but if ya made it to the end...send me a note. I promise I won't out ya to anyone for reading this shizz...snort...A special shout-out has to go to my RAoR h00rs...you guys are the bomb and I lurve you all! Also to the members of Team IdBangTheBone...I swear to god I should send Jackson a cape! Bwahahahaha! And with that...I'M OUTTA HERE...XoX Drizl **


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